Time To Myself, by Dickfart
You are sitting one the toilet in the Hyuga house. You get in there before Hinata can, because she takes the worst smelling poops ever. She should be fucking grateful you only stabbed her chakra thingies.
The poop isn't coming out, because you're a hard ass in every possible sense of the word. You sit there, straining your sphincter to surrender, but then you picture Tenten's pretty face photoshopped onto Sasuke's pretty body, and the need to jerk off furiously overwhelms you.
So you jerk off like your life depends on it, and you cum and shit simultaneously, flooding the entire leaf village in your essence. Everyone drowns in shit and cum, except for Cockashi, who swallows rather than stirred. All without taking his pants off. You are very impressed, despite a ring of your cum and diarrhea now orbiting the earth.
You have made an enemy out of Saturn. She doesn't like the fact that your earth's rings are already bigger than hers. What the fuck did you eat, man? Hyuga cabbage? You realize that's your sister, right?
The End