A/N: I originally planned on this being told entirely from Steve's point of view, then I tried to make it from both boys POV but the Steve part just wasn't right so I'd decided to make this Danno's story. It's only a one shot, sorry, but I hope you like it.
And a special thank you goes out to everyone at the McDanno Facebook group for their wonderful support, help and encouragement. This story is dedicated to you guys.
The title is taken from Bon Jovi's I'd Die For You from the Slippery When Wet album.
The second he'd heard the voice he'd known and he was back there, two years ago, a different woman but the same soul destroying news, Steve had been taken. Yet again Steve had put his life on the line for a woman and she'd lead him to his death. If Catherine was there, right then, Danny felt like he could actually….shoot her.
Thankfully he'd held it together, he'd taken the information Catherine was giving him and the second she'd hung up, without so much as a "Sorry I got your boyfriend kidnapped and probably killed." he'd taken off, all thoughts of the case they'd just closed forgotten. All he could think about was Steve. As he'd sped back to HQ, all he'd seen was the vision of Steve, crumpled and bleeding in the back of a truck. Danny could still feel the ice cold fingers that had wrapped around his heart the instant he'd seen Steve that only released their hold when he saw that his partner was alive. He didn't think he could go through that again. – Especially not now.
He should never have let Steve leave, he should have put his foot down, or never lifted it once he'd said no, because this was exactly what he'd expected. – But then Steve wouldn't have listened because he wouldn't be the man Danny had fallen for if he had. It was programmed into him like that lazar focus he'd inherited from his father, the one that made his way the only way. It was in his DNA to save people, whether it was from drug dealers and human traffickers, or terrorist half-way around the world, - Or a guy's crippling fear of opening up his heart again. – Steve needed to save the world and Danny can't hold that against him or stop him from doing it.
That didn't mean he had to like it. And it didn't mean he wasn't going to rip him a new-one for putting not just him, but Chin and Kono through this. Again.
Danny let his head fall back against the cold steel of the plane's side and closed his eyes, allowing Steve's face to dance behind his lids. It made him sick to think that they'd wasted so much time over the past month, hell over the past few years. He took a deep breath and tried not to think about all they'd missed, but it was hard in the light of possibly never seeing Steve again. He couldn't help but wonder how things might have been had he said something sooner. There had been so many missed opportunities. They were all so clear now in hindsight.
Danny didn't stop his mind from wandering back to one of those moments.
Danny looked up through tear filled eyes as he finished telling Steve the story of his first partner, Grace. His throat thick with emotion.
"September 11th?"
Danny nodded. "Yeah." He hadn't spoken about that day, not really. Not even to Rachel. Hell it might have been part of the reason they're marriage had fallen apart. It wasn't easy watching your partner, a person you'd come to trust and care for, have their life blown away right in front of you and there was nothing you could do to stop it. – In the beginning he'd thought that was why he'd been so agitated by Steve's gung-ho antics, now he knew better. But he didn't allow himself to think about the real reason.
He met Steve's gaze, the red rims and the dark shadows as if he'd been up for a week. The real cause was the bomb waiting to go off and wipe them off the face of the planet. He felt his heart begin to race as they just stared at each other. This might be it, the last time he ever saw his partner.
"What's wrong?" Steve said, breaking away to look down at the bomb deposal expert.
"Hey, hey. That doesn't sound good buddy, huh?"
"It's not, someone was playing it cute with the fail safe." The tech informed them breathlessly.
"But you've got this right?" Steve pleaded in a panic.
Danny looked over at him, his stomach clenching tighter. This really was it, the last time he'd ever see Steve again. He was going to die and Steve would never know just how much… "Alright, Steve, get out of here."
"Forget about it." Steve refused, his eyes locking with Danny's
Danny's heart leapt into his throat at the look, as if Steve knew. As if he felt it too, that connection that had grown between them.
"He's right, you should get out of here." The tech encouraged.
"I said forget about it, alright!" Steve shouted at the man, his eyes flickering between the bomb and Danny.
Panic set it, he couldn't let Steve die with him. He wouldn't. He'd already lost… "Will you just go, please? If anything happens I need you to take care of Grace. Now, go!"
"That's your job, pal. You're her dad."
Tears pooled in Danny's eyes, his gaze flickering between the bomb and Steve, his heart hammering painfully. He opened his mouth, Steve needed to know. He deserved to know. – And if they were dead anyway, what was the harm, he'd at least meet his maker with a clear conscience.
"Done." The tech announced before a single work let Danny's lips.
He stared down at the man with wipe surprised eyes. "Done? Can I move, done?"
"Clear!"
The rumble of the plane's engines pulled Danny out of the memory. He'd been seconds away from throwing caution to the wind that day and spilling his guts but once the world had righted itself he'd slipped back behind that wall of denial and silence, telling himself that he'd imagined the way Steve had looked at him, the way he'd clung to him when it was over. For over a year he'd buried his feeling deeper and deeper. He'd tried to make it work with Gaby while Steve built a more stable relationship with Catherine. And when that had fallen to pieces, he'd wallowed in his own misery, watching Steve be happy. He hadn't planned on dating Amber, not at first, but well…there was only so much a man could take watching the person he loved love someone else before he sort comfort, and that was what Amber had been, a comfort from the pain and rejection.
He could never in a million year have expected things to turn out the way they had. He'd had no idea there was anything wrong between Steve and Catherine until the man had turned up on his doorstep that night, beer in hand and a tormented look in his eyes. It hadn't even crossed his mind to send Steve away so he could finish his date the way he'd planned to. Steve was the second most important person in his life and had been for a long time. Amber, as much as he hated to acknowledge it, had been a convenience.
It was still hard to believe there was a time he hadn't known how he felt about his best friend. A time when that's all Steve had been. He may very well have continued on ignoring the way his heart sped up when Steve was around or the way he got a thrill when he called him Danno. – Hell, he let him call him Danno, no one was allowed to do that, not even Rachel. – He may have happily lived the rest of his life on the island in complete ignorance of his feelings if not for a single phone call.
_McDanno_
Danny's heart raced as he reached for the flap coving the back of the second truck. The first one had been empty, and the second Danny had seen it his heart dropped. All he'd been able to think about since leaving the bunker was Jenna's dead body, her eyes staring into nothingness and how that could be Steve. Visions of Steve dumped unceremoniously in the dense forest of North Korea, never to be found.
Ever since they'd figured out that Jenna was connected to their murder Danny had been holding onto the hope that they were wrong, that there was no way Steve would be stupid enough to buy her lies, he was a SEAL, he'd been in Naval Intelligence. – Then again he could be incredibly naive and trusting, they all were it seemed. But, no, Steve was fine.
Then he'd heard Jenna's voice on that broken line, heard the panic and fear, and he'd known in that split second, before the first word was even dead in his ear that Steve was not fine and the wave of crushing fear and pain that fell over him was almost suffocating. He hadn't felt anything like it in so many years. – He'd made damn sure he wouldn't feel that again.
He'd pushed it down through, buried it. Brushed it off in order to focus on finding out what was happening, where Steve was, but it was always there in the back of his mind, that whispering voice that said this wasn't just a lost friend, that this was so much more. – Steve was so much more.
As Danny wrapped his fingers around the tarp, he held his breath and tried desperately to forced back the almost crimpling fear that behind it would be nothing. – Or worse, a lifeless body with eyes staring into nothingness.
He couldn't help the split-second image of a wet thirteen year old, eyes widening with panic as the ocean dragged him away. The warmth of brown eyes silently wishing him goodbye as if resigned to his fate. And all because of Danny. All because he'd fallen in love with his best friend. - And now, it was happening all over again.
Danny yanked violently at the tarp and felt his heart explode in his chest at the sight of Steve. Alive. Breathing. He exhaled a sigh of relief. "Hey, it's Steve!" he yelled. "I've got Steve! He's Alive." He scrambled into the back of the truck and rushing over to his partner, his heart thundering so hard against his ribs it felt like he'd run a marathon.
"Danny?"
He dropped his weapon and hurriedly began to untie Steve's wrists, his own hands shaking but thankfully the other man didn't seem to notice, as always too focused on the bad guy.
"Where's Wo Fat?"
"Just shut up, would ya?" Danny replied breathlessly, trying to stop his hands from trembling as he worked at the ropes. Trying desperately not to focus on the blood and bruises now spoiling Steve's handsome features. He glanced up to meet Steve's blue eyes and saw his own relief mirrored back to him. Then he heard the flap behind him lift and the small dark space was suddenly filled with light.
The second the ropes fell away, they were hurriedly helping Steve out of the truck. Danny threw one of Steve's arms over his shoulder, savouring the weight and warmth that reassured Danny that Steve was very much alive. He wrapped his arm around his partner's waist, holding it tight, his fingers clutching fearfully at the torn and sweat drenched shirt, as scared if he left go Steve, much like Billy had, would be lost to him forever.
He had been forced to let Steve go though, the second Lori had thrown herself at him, squeezing him tight. Danny had known nothing could come of his feelings. – Not that he'd thought anything would before that. - Part of Danny was grateful though because he couldn't face going though that pain again. No, this was a shot across his bow, a warning to ignore the blossoming feelings that until sixteen hours ago, he didn't even realized were there.
The plane jerked, startling Danny awake and causing him to shoot up straight on the hard seat, his eyes flickering around him, confused for a moment as to where he was. He relaxed only minimally as the memory of Catherine's phone call came back to him and swallowed the lump that he hadn't even realized had formed in his throat. He lowered his eyes to his knotted fingers with a weary sigh. He could feel the little gremlin of fear and anxiety clawing at the corner of his mind, the subtle whisper that this was all his fault. That if only he hadn't given into his feelings then Steve would never have been taken, wouldn't be dead right now in some sand covered Taliban camp somewhere, and for a few moments Danny actually listened. Actually accepted the responsibility that yet again he'd let his love for someone destroy them. The whole thing with Steve had been a terrible mistake that was about to cost them both dearly.
Then he heard Steve's voice, louder, more determined. "…think about how good it feels waking up next to someone, that great feeling you get when you see them for the first time or the hundredth, billionth time. Think about the good stuff and push through. Stop listening to the fear Danny…"
Danny inhaled slowly, nodding minutely to himself. He'd promised Steve he wouldn't give in to those fears anymore and he'd meant it. He'd been doing so well until now, focusing on the good stuff. He just had to keep do that.
So he did, he focused on the good. Like the way Steve smiled at him now, that secret supposedly subtle smirk he'd been shooting across the computer table or the picnic bench in front of the scrip truck, like he was fooling anyone. Neither Chin nor Kono had openly asked him, or even mentioned it, but after four years of working together there was no way they hadn't noticed the shift in atmosphere or the way they'd sometimes talk quietly in corners, arranging their evening plans. And frankly they'd have to be seriously deaf, dumb and blind not to have noticed the increased I love You's batted around the office and crime scenes. – It was mostly a way of ending a spat or banter fueled rant, but it had become a more prominent habit.
Danny felt his lip curve at the thought, even as that evil bastard Gremlin whispered that he'd never see that smirk or hear I love you again.
_McDanno_
Danny stood anxiously in front of the Major, waiting impatiently for information. He could feel his heart beating hard in his chest, it had been like that since the second he'd heard Catherine's voice and he was pretty sure it wasn't going to stop until he found Steve. – Though whether it continued beating after that depending on whether or not Steve's was.
"We acted on the intel you provided." The Major informed him, his brows knitted. "But we have no idea if Commander McGarrett was taken there. If he was, he may already be dead."
Danny felt his heart skip at the mere thought, his stomach clenching tightly. "No, No, he's alive." He said with false confidence.
"How can you know that?" the Major asked, unconvinced.
"Because I know him." Danny replied firmly, knowing that he couldn't voice his real reason. Because he promised he wouldn't do this to me again. "Trust me, he's alive." He was surprised just how credible his voice sounded, it almost fooled him.
The Major nodded solemnly at him, his eyes a little too understanding. "Go time. Gentlemen, mount up." He ordered.
Danny folded his arms and stared at the screens, watching the green images of the night vision. It seemed like forever before the compound came within view. The second he saw it that haunting déjà vu reared his ugly head again, only this time it wasn't him storming the castle to save Steve, he had to stand and watch, and that just didn't sit right with him, but what could he do?
Danny's whole body was buzzing like a live wire. He fought back the image of Steve battered, bloody and dead in the dirt. The thought of having to tell Gracie that her uncle Steve wasn't coming home made him sick. He held his breath as the soldiers' ask for confirmation before kicking in the door of the compound, the green screens lighting up with gunfire. He watched men fall in front of the unit, left and right all the way to another door. Danny could just make out a loud excited voice beyond it, then it was flying open and all hell broke loose. Danny's gaze instantly found Steve, scrambling for cover.
"Four tangos down." The unit leader informed them, his night vision scanning the fallen bodies. "I say again, four tangos down."
"Package is secure." Another voice confirmed.
The room around them erupted into applause and cheers but Danny wasn't paying them any mind, he shook the Major's hand numbly, his eyes fixed to the screen watching two men lead a bloody Steve out of the room, before doubling over, his head spinning. He braced his hands on his knees and forced oxygen back into his lungs, tears pooling in his eyes. Steve wasn't dead, thank god. "Thank you." He prayed in a hoarse whisper. "Thank you."
Straightening Danny stumbled to the nearest chair, it was going to be a wait for the Halo to get back to them with Steve and his legs were already jello. He sat with his head in his hands, the tears drying on his palms. He startled when a young woman with thick dark hair and warm brown eyes handed him a cool bottle of water.
"Thanks." Danny murmured gratefully, smiling warmly at her. Something about her reminded him of his little girl and a terrifying thought ran through him, what if Gracie wanted to follow in Uncle Steve's footsteps. Nope, that was not happening, one nervous breakdown a year was all he could stand, thank you very much.
"Sorry we don't have anything stronger." She whispered. "At least not in here." She winked with a grin. "You okay?"
Danny nodded. "Fine, now." His gaze flickered over to the screen, they'd gone blank now that the mission was over.
"I'm sure he's fine." She insisted. "I've heard a lot about the Commander. He's got a hell of a reputation. – You both have." She smirked.
Danny couldn't help sorting at her. "They're all lies." he lifted the bottle to his lips to sip and cool his dry sand clogged throat. "I'm sane, he's a menace to society. I'm sure he'll put me in an early grave."
The young woman laughed. "You love it really."
Danny looked up at her, his eyes flickering to the name on her uniform. His heart skipping. "Just don't tell him that, Selway."
She chuckled musically, her whole face lighting up. "I won't. And it's Billie." She corrected.
"Private!"
"Got to go, sorry. Nice meeting you, Detective Williams."
Danny stared after the retreating young woman, his whole body trembling, his head spinning. He could hear the rush of blood in his ears as she vanished around the corner. "Billie Selway? No…" he shook his head disbelievingly before lifting his eyes to the tent ceiling. "I suppose you think that's funny don't you?" he asked the heavens, a smile slowly spreading across his face.
The sound of the helicopter blade breaking the air had Danny out of his seat and rushing out of the tent, his bottle of water still in his hand. When he reached the chopper Steve was being wheeled towards him, unconscious and bloody but for the first time that taunting voice was silent.
_McDanno_
Danny stared down at his hands as he sat on an uncomfortable stool next to a still unconscious Steve. The doctors had said he was lucky, though you wouldn't know it to look at him. His face was black and blue, his left eye almost completely swollen shut and on top of that he had two broken ribs, which Danny knew from recent experience weren't going to be a cake walk, a mild skull fractured as well as a dislocated left shoulder and two broken fingers on his left hand. Yeah, they'd done a job on him.
But he was alive, which he supposed was what the doctor had meant. That didn't make him feel any better through, and the two guards that had been standing six feet away, silent and still for the past thirty minutes weren't helping his blood pressure. He could only imagine who Steve's little unauthorized vacation had pissed off.
Danny exhaled a deep breath in a rush and let his gaze drift around the room. He wished he had someone to talk to, maybe Billie. – He pulled out his phone considering calling home, but was stopped by a loud and very meaningful cleared throat. He sighed and slid the darkened cell back into his pocket. How these guys handle the hours of silent inactivity between ops Danny had no idea. He certainly didn't envy them.
A gently groaned had his head snapping around to see Steve finally moving, his eyes struggling to open. Danny got to his feet and leant closer to his partner, his hand on Steve's forearm. "Hey." He gave the arm a gently squeeze. "Hey."
"Danny?"
"Yeah. Hey buddy, you alright?" he whispered cautiously. He watched Steve's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed convulsively. He glanced around gritting his teeth at the lack of water.
"I…am…now." He breathed weakly.
Danny smiled, his shoulders relaxing finally.
"I'm…sorry."
Danny shook his head. "It's fine."
"I promised." He whispered, his voice cracking. "I promised you."
Danny swallowed the lump that sprung to life in his throat. "And…I knew what I was getting with you." He whispered, conscious that they weren't alone. "I don't doubt this will happen again. As I've said before you're a danger magnet." He smiled softly, leaning forward and dropping his voice as low as he could. "I'll make you make it up to me."
Steve stared up into his eyes, his lips curling.
Another clearing throat had Danny pulling back sharply, his eyes lifting to the uniformed guards who were pretending not to look at them yet Danny could see the comprehension in their eyes. Danny was somewhat tempted to kiss Steve just to make a point but this was his partner's world, his career, even if he was only a reserve now he still had a reputation and a rank. Danny put a bit more space between them. Yet another cough had his eyes snapping to the guard only they weren't responsible this time. "CIA. You good?"
Steve cleared his scratching throat and nodded, shifting a little more on the bed, his eyes trained on the two new arrivals.
"You're going to have to step outside." The CIA guy ordered.
"No. No, I'm gonna stay right here with him." Danny replied defiantly, making himself comfortable on the stool once more.
"Excuse me?" Colonel Paterson, who had barely said two words to Danny since he'd arrived frowned, a mild look of disgust and suspicion in his eyes.
"I'm not a soldier, you have no authority over me, so I'm gonna stay put."
The two men glared at him before turning to Steve. "Okay, I'm gonna make this real simple for you Commander. We know you weren't over here alone, so unless you want to spend the next ten years in prison, you're gonna tell me who else was involved and how you got your intel?"
Danny watched Steve meet the man's gaze as defiantly as he had. "You…know…" he started gingerly, his voice rough. "They uh…knocked me around pretty good…" he cleared his throat. "My short term memory's a little foggy. I'm sorry."
Danny bit the inside of his lips, fighting the smirk that was demanding release.
"Who the hell do you think you are? You know, once you leave those little islands of yours, you're a civilian. Now I want a name and the source of your intel! Now!"
"Like I said, I'd love to help you, but…." Steve shook his head. "I just can't remember."
The air crackled and Danny watched the battle of wills between Steve and the CIA guy who hadn't had the common decency to introduce himself. He half expected the asshole to order the guards to drag Steve off the bed and to an interrogation room, and a glance at the pair stood by the wall said that was what they were waiting for too.
"Alright, listen up." Paterson announced with a weary sigh, breaking the tension. "Today you get a pass, but these rouge ops of yours are over."
Danny couldn't agree more and he had every intention of making sure that happened.
"Speaking on behalf of the entire US Military you set foot in this part of the world again, you are gonna be in it up to your neck."
Ahem. Danny thought.
"I don't care what you did in the service, I will personally throw you in the brig. Are we clear?"
Steve swallowed and straightened as much as he could with a swollen shoulder and broken ribs. "Yes Sir."
"Good." Paterson nodded, looking between them. "Now you are gonna get your ass on a plane back to the states. To make sure that happens, these two Masters at Arms are going to escort you."
Danny opened his mouth to argue that Steve wasn't ready to go anywhere yet, but the two men were already marching away at speed. "Nice to meet you both." Danny called after him, shaking his head.
The second they were out of sight Steve was struggling to sit up, throwing back the covers. "I've got to go."
"Whooa!" Danny growled, pushing Steve back down, careful not to touch his tender shoulder. "Relax."
"I can't leave Catherine out there by herself."
Danny froze, his eyes narrowing and his jaw clenching painfully. Was he serious? After all this he wanted to go back out there to help Catherine. The same woman who hadn't been in touch since she'd called to tell Danny she'd gotten his partner captured by the Taliban, that fucking Catherine? "She left you!" he snapped furiously, removing his hand from Steve's good shoulder as if burnt.
"Danny."
"No, she left you out there Steven."
"She was saving the kids." He insisted. "You would have done the same thing. Those children were the priority."
Danny glared at him. "Maybe." He murmured, knowing Steve was right about that at least, he would have left Steve to help the children. "But you know what? The second, the second, I got them to safety I would have turned right around and came back for you."
"I wasn't…"
Danny held up his trembling hand to silence his partner, not caring about the audience they had. "Don't give me that Steve." He took a shaky breath. "She called me. She didn't call the Navy and she didn't call Joe, just me. She left it to me to come find you."
Steve inhaled slowly, relaxing back against the pillow, his eyes drifting closed.
"Babe." Danny said, softening his voice. "I don't care why she did it, I don't care that she at least had the common decency to let someone know what happened to you. The fact is she used…us…" he whispered, looking over to the guards. "…to get you out here and then left you to die. – I don't care what she says, she doesn't love you, because if she did she'd be here. Whether your together or not."
Steve met his gaze sorrowfully, his throat working convulsively. "I'm glad you came Danno."
Danny didn't hesitate, knotting his fingers with Steve's and squeezing them softly. "Hey, I'll be there for you." He said sincerely.
A laugh burst out of Steve which quickly dissolved into a groan of pain that made Danny wince. "Ah, don't make me laugh, it hurts."
"These five words I swear to you." Danny snorted innocently, nodding over to the guards who were once again living statues, though Danny was sure he caught the corner of the guy on the left's mouth twitch.
The End
A/N: I'm probably the only one, seeing how more an a few people I talk to seemed to like Lori, but I really HATED the way she threw herself at Steve in Deceiver. It felt to me at least forced, like they were trying to hammer home a possibly love-connection between her and Steve, despite the fact that the show already had Steve paired off with Catherine. Talk about over kill. If that wasn't a case of the show trying to pour ice water on the McDanno ship (probably because the episode is very McDannoish, with the way Danny reacts to Steve's kidnapping.) then I don't know what the hell it was. [Sorry, I can't help but rant about that moment, it really pisses me off]
The whole Pt. Billie Selway thing came to me while writing, it wasn't in the original plan. Clearly my muse is feeling sentimental and somewhat fluffy, but I really like it. It's kinda the universe saying "It's okay Danno." And seeing how popular the name Billie is for a girl and that Selway isn't such an uncommon surname that it could happen.
Yes, let's end with a little Catherine bashing, because seriously how could she just walk away and not even try to find him. The woman, who's supposed to love Steve can take a couple of hours to go look for her boyfriend? Right. Even if she knew he'd been taken she should have at least tried and then to not even call Danny back later to find out if he'd found him and he was okay, was just…wrong. I never really hated Catherine, disliked her but never hated her until that episode because that was colder than cold. Thank heavens Steve has Danno to drop everything to go look for him.
Update: 4th Aug 2014 - Thanks to Nieceyluvsfanfic for correcting me over Billy's surname.
And Yes I may very well end every story with Bon Jovi Lyrics. It's their thing.
See ya again soon.
GATERGIRL79
