Quick introduction, apologies to those of you with short attention spans, it makes the fanficiton a better read.
First and foremost, this is...sort of... a sequel to 'without a wand'. Meaning that it is written in the pretense that without a wand happened first. So, quickly as I can, I'm going to run over the point you absolutely need to know.
Number one, Itachi is married. Yes. Stop wigging out, it wasn't so brief as that. The shocker is, his wife is now Luna Lovegood. You're shaking your head, or having a panic attack, giggling uncontrollably, or closing this window now, aren't you.
The next thing is, not only was Itachi in love with her, but so was Deidara. The poor boy lost, however. For lack of ideas, Zetsu also fell. He as well was turned down, and you have our dilemma.
Kisame ended up seeing a girl by the name of Lettuce. (Midorikawa.)
Itachi likes checkers, Kisame likes ping pong, but sucks at it, and Deidara supplies magazines to the whole organization, not on purpose. And Hidan's a freak.
Leader-san is a squib. (Hence Luna's admission into the Akatsuki.)
That should do it. One more thing, I'm afraid. I'll make it quick.
This fanficiton is using a character, Tsuki, that is not mine, but taken from an online acquaintance of mine, Tsuki50. I took a scene or two, a scenario or two, from her fanficiton, which starts off similarly. Except from a different point of view. So a great deal of credit goes to her, for the character and a few scenes. And support.
And now, with a quick word of all characters and most settings belong to Kishimoto, continue on your way.
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It was now several months after Itachi and Luna had finally come back from Hawaii. Deidara had trimmed his hair back right after the wedding to show loss of love, but he hadn't had the guts to cut enough off to last. So it had now all grown back. (He loves his hair.) Things were, to an extent, back to normal. Except the, you know, whole Itachi was (O.o) married and stuff.
Deidara never fully got over Luna. But he did, however, give up thoroughly enough that he had begun to act normal and annoying again. Zetsu...you never could tell what Zetsu was feeling. So no one could really tell. He did spend a little more time than usual staring at walls, even non-painted ones, which come to think of it he was used to anyway, but otherwise he acted the same.
Other than that, Kisame was now out almost every night, and was, too the knowledge of Luna and Itachi, seeing Lettuce. He never said anything, but Luna could tell, being Luna and all. Hidan had decided he really hated chess and had added it to the list that already included arm wrestling, thumb wars, any card game there is, and monopoly. (The idea that fake money isn't any good was too appalling.) Konan had developed a sort of addiction to strawberry ice cream.
And that's it.
Yet things chance so fast. (Why don't they just stay the same for once?)
It was a normal Tuesday evening, the Akatsuki lounge was full. Tobi was rummaging through tattered board games and narrating the whole search to a head aching Deidara, who was attempting to ignore him by burying himself in a new novel. (He'd taken up mysteries, as romance was getting him down as of late.) Konan was staring at the ceiling, contemplating going for a walk, as she was incredibly bored and out of ice cream. Itachi was playing (you guessed it) checkers with Hidan, Luna as their spectator. Hidan, as it turns out, is barely better at checkers than he is at ping-pong. Speaking of which, Kisame, (not yet gone out for the night.) was hitting the ping-pong ball at the wall as everyone refused to play with him. Zetsu was in a corner with a stack of Deidara's magazines, just reading through the stack. (Of course, there was much bickering about who got to read what first.) And once again, Leader-san was out of sight in his office, probably plotting against trivialities again, possibly throwing darts. (He'd ordered a dartboard recently; he took a sort of savage pleasure in taping pictures to it.) And finally, Kakuzu was flipping through channels on the old TV with an expression appropriate to one trying to live through an hour or two of history.
"Oooh, remember this one, Deidara?" Tobi said excitedly, withdrawing Clue from the large barrel of broken board games. "You were always miss Scarlet, you never-"
Deidara punched the board game out of Tobi's hands: it landed on Itachi and Hidan's chess game.
"Aw, come on, Deidara!" Hidan complained. "I was about to win!"
"You had three pawns and a knight left." Luna reminded him, earning a scowl in reply.
"That's it, you know what?" Deidara stood from the orange pouf he'd been rested on. "I'm going out, this is ridiculous." He dropped his book onto the pouf, and without another word stormed out into the halls.
"Where do you think he's going?" Tobi asked Konan, who happened to be sitting closest.
"I don't know, Buy a hairdryer or something." Konan rolled her eyes. "How would I know where he goes for fun?"
Tobi's eyes lit up. Well, I think. That mask again. "Tobi is a good spy!" he exclaimed. "I'll find out!"
And he scampered after the now out-of-sight Deidara.
Konan watched him leave, then turned her gaze over to the wall, where there was a certain splotch of dry paint. "Well, at least he's gone," she told no one in particular.
No one in particular nodded in agreement.
Deidara and Tobi didn't return for quite the while, Kisame had left and come back by the time he did.
In fact, no one saw him slip in at all. It was morning before voices were heard.
"What do we do now, Deidara?" Tobi was asking.
"I don't know!" Deidara snapped back, obviously very frustrated. "I should have gone faster, but that wouldn't have been any fun."
"Well, you should talk to leader-san!"
"No way in hell!"
"But you should! He'll find out anyway. Like he did with Luna!"
Deidara wrinkled his nose. He was going to be in so much trouble...
"Maybe you won't get in trouble!" Tobi reassured him in a failing attempt to be helpful. "Itachi wasn't in trouble..."
Deidara turned to glare at Tobi, who cowered slightly. "Luna was special." He said stiffly. "She was useful, a great addition. Of course he wouldn't be angry. This girl..."
"We'll find a way to make her helpful!"
Deidara rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll leave that up to you."
"Great! Tobi will make her useful while you go talk to leader-san!" Tobi beamed happily and rather untouchably from inside that annoying mask of his.
Something rolled over and made mumbling noises.
Deidara swore through gritted teeth.
"You shouldn't say things like that, Dei-"
"Shut up." Deidara turned abruptly and went... away. Somewhere Tobi wasn't.
"Bye, Deidara!" Tobi called after him in an infuriating sort of way.
Once Deidara was gone, Tobi turned his attention to the slowly waking girl lying on the bright blue couch in his cave. (Deidara had downright refused to keep her in his cave.)
Tobi poked her.
She rolled over.
He poked her again.
And again.
"I'm awake! I'm awake!" She yelled, springing quickly into a sitting position. "Oh."
"Hello!" Tobi waved cheerfully.
"Ah!" She looked mildly surprised, but rather pleased. "Tobi!"
"That's me!" He assured her happily, still waving, as he had nothing else to do with his arm.
She waved back. "Um..."
"Yes?"
"This is the Akatsuki hideout?" She whispered excitedly.
"Yes!"
A delighted sort of grin crept over her face.
"You look happy!" Tobi told her, as he is a good spy and noticed.
She nodded. "I am, I've admired the Akatsuki for so long, I can't believe I'm actually here!"
"I was very impressed with how you kept up last night!" Tobi told her contentedly. "Deidara isn't, though, he's rather upset, because leader-san might get mad at him."
"...Oops."
"It's ok! Tobi waved it aside like it wasn't a problem. "You probably won't be killed."
"Probably?"
"Probably!"
There was a sort of silence.
"What's your name?" Tobi asked at last.
"Tsuki," Tsuki told him.
"It's a good name," Tobi told her.
"...Thanks!"
"Deidara didn't say we had to stay here, do you want to go somewhere?"
"Where would we go?"
"This isn't the only room in the hideout, this is my room! There's Deidara's room, only don't go in there because he gets mad, Kakuzu's room, only don't go in there because that's where he hides his money, Hidan's room, only don't go in there because it's got bloodstains everywhere, Konan's room, only don't go in there because she screams about female privacy, Kisame's room, only don't go in there because it smells like sea salt, Zetsu's room, only don't go in there because the whole thing's overgrown and you'll trip, there's Itachi's room, only don't go in there because the entrance is a solid wall and it's impossible anyway, and there's Luna's room. You can go in there, but ask first because she's nice."
Tsuki thought for a moment. "Well, where can I go?"
"The Akatsuki lounge! And there are lots of uninhabited caves that are fun."
"Then let's go there, please!"
"Caves or lounge? I mean, I suppose the lounge is essentially a cave, but I mean the other caves that aren't anything but a cave like this one cave that's got a hole in the top and a tunnel to Itachi's room...it's too small for me but Luna uses it sometimes or at least used to use it..."
"Do you always ramble so much?"
"Do I always what?"
"Nevermind."
In the end, Tsuki found herself being led happily to the Akatsuki lounge by a rather carefree Tobi. For lack of interest in this point of view, let's change to one I haven't done yet.
Life was good. And Hidan sucked at checkers. He had demanded a rematch this morning, owing to the destruction of the last match. And Itachi was beating the crud outta him.
"You can't do that, Hidan. It's against the rules."
"Since when do I care about rules??"
"Go bleed somewhere and leave checkers for the mature people."
Hidan made a face, and pulled a pocketknife from nowhere and cut off a finger, just to show he could. (Ew.)
"NOT ON THE CHECKERS SET!"
Hidan leered at him, holding his leaky hand over the board ominously. "I could just stain it permanently..." He threatened, and Itachi whacked his head with a conveniently placed bookbag (Deidara's), which knocked him onto the floor. (Saving the checkers board from any harm.)
"That's it, No more rematches. You suck at checkers- point blank." Itachi told him, dropping the bookbag (full of books) onto Hidan. Who then chose several words to spit at Itachi, none of which I feel comfortable relaying.
"I hate checkers anyway!!" He scowled, sticking out a (very mature) tongue.
One more for that list of his.
Itachi, however, was already clearing the little wooden pieces back into their box, (no plastic for him,) and did not listen.
"Oi!" Hidan yelled, shoving Deidara's bookbag off of him and standing up. "Listen to me when I swear at you, you-" Hidan broke off. ", who's that?" he snorted, looking over at the cavern entrance. Itachi followed his gaze. The first thing to catch his eye, as always, was a certain adorable witch. But looking just past her, she was talking to Tobi and... who the hell was that?
"...The ..." Hidan was muttering to himself, not noticing the spreading stain on his cloak. (He had his hand resting on his leg)
Itachi made his way towards the small gathering in the doorway, putting his hand on Luna's shoulder.
"Hello, Itachi." She said, without turning around. He squeezed her shoulder in way of return greeting.
"What's going on?" He asked her, motioning towards the young lady by Tobi. "I don't know her."
"This is Tsuki," Luna informed him, "Deidara brought her back by accident."
"That idiot!" Itachi groaned. Konan came up behind him.
"Hey, you brought someone as well." She told him teasingly, putting a hand on Luna's head.
Itachi glared at her. "She was kidnapped. I did nothing."
"But you certainly benefited."
Itachi smirked. "True," He told her, pulling Luna from under Konan's hand and hugging her smugly, as to prove his point.
Konan then turned her attention to Tsuki. "Hey, I'm Konan," She said, holding out a hand. "Good to see you, we need more femininity around here." (Femininity is a funny word.)
"Tsuki," Tsuki said, taking Konan's hand. "Thanks! I'll do my best about that."
"So...what's going to be done?" Itachi asked, directing the question at the only person who might know, Tobi.
"Deidara's gonna talk to Leader-san"- the whole room smirked –"and see if she can stay, and then we keep her!"
"Doesn't she have a family or something?" Kisame said, as he and really the rest of the Akatsuki (that had been in the lounge at the time) had come up to see the commotion.
"We could kill them." Kakuzu shrugged. "Then she wouldn't."
"Oh, don't," Luna said, having noticed Tsuki's worried expression. "That would make her unhappy, don't you think?"
"Fine..." Kakuzu, despite his surrender, decided to sulk a bit.
"We'll figure something out," Luna said. "Until then, where is she staying?"
"She slept in my room last night," Tobi said cheerfully. (Isn't he always)
Konan shook her head. "That won't do at all, Tobi." She tutted, and Tobi looked at her innocently.
"Why?"
"Frankly, you're a boy."
"A good boy!"
"Yes, Tobi, I good boy. Continue to keep her in your room, and that reputation may be compromised."
Tobi still looked confused, but it didn't matter. Konan had already decided. "She's staying with me until we find the right cave for her." She said, pulling Tsuki next to her.
"Okay!" Tsuki said, as she rather felt like a prop and thought that since props don't talk she ought to do just that to make it clear that she wasn't. A prop, that is. Am I the only one who thinks that last sentence (or two) was incredibly confusing and ought to be revised even though it won't be? I don't care. Onward.
"Alright, let's go get you settled. I hope you like ice cream," She said, and pulled Tsuki enthusiastically forward. Tsuki followed happily, as getting somewhere to stay was closer to staying.
There was silence as the Akatsuki in general watched their backs shrinking into the distance.
"Anyone for ping-pong?" Kisame asked finally, and everybody went back to what they were doing. He simply grumbled and went out for a walk.
Deidara was pacing a small, low-ceilinged cave that had just the right shape for pacing. It was located in a labyrinth of tunnels and small caves that most Akatsuki members avoided for fear of being lost (even if they could just break through the walls to get out). Deidara, however, had memorized them on account of being very bored and needing somewhere to go where Tobi couldn't follow.
This was his pacing chamber.
He rarely needed it, although in the past year or so he'd spent a lot more time here, just thinking. About... 'stuff'. And now there was something else to be thought about.
He could just walk away and act innocent- to Leader-san, that is, and the topic of Tsuki. He could avoid the subject as long as possible... but the longer he waited the guiltier he would become and the scarier Leader-san would become and when he finally found out (which wouldn't take long, he realized, as he'd left Tsuki with Tobi and by now he would bet his life the whole Akatsuki knew), at least scarier than what he would have been if Deidara didn't just step up to take the blame now.
Well, there was really only one choice.
Deidara groaned and forced his feet to move out of the pacing chamber and towards the labyrinth exit closest to Leader-san's office.
"Hello, Deidara."
Leader-san was facing away from the office entrance, on his large rolly-chair. Again. He thought it made him more intimidating.
Well, it had worked the first few times, but then it gets old.
"Um, Hello, Leader-san."
Pein swung himself around to face his subordinate. "You had business, I assume?" He asked.
"Sort of..."
"You have business or you don't, Deidara."
Deidara hesitated. It wasn't to late to run...
But yes it was, because nobody disturbed Leader just to say 'hi', so he must have business. If he said he didn't, Leader-san would get suspicious.
"Yeah." He said nervously. "I...um...made a mistake..."
"Kisame makes three a day. I can handle it."
Deidara heard the words, but they didn't exactly make him feel any better. He began to fidget, kneading stray clay as a nervous habit. "Well...it's a rather large mistake."
Pein frowned. "Please tell me Tobi's still alive."
"Tobi's fine..." Deidara said slowly.
"Spit it out, then. I haven't got all day."
"I lead some girl here." Deidara muttered, looking down. "She stayed the night and wants to know if she can stay...longer, I guess."
Leader-san groaned. "What did you tell her."
"I told her that she could stay if she kept up with me." Deidara said, quick as he could.
Pein turned himself back around in his chair. What a fix. Well, he had to do something, or he wasn't much of a leader. He could just yell at Deidara and kick her out, of course, and that was fun. But not exactly practical.
"Tell you what," he said finally, turning back to face his minion. "Let me talk with her. We'll figure this out somehow."
Deidara sighed with relief. That wasn't so bad. "Okay." He said briefly, and turned to leave.
"Deidara!" Pein called, just as he was about to walk out the door. "Dish duty, three weeks!"
Ugh.
(Note- dish duty is washing the dishes after one of Pein's weekly Akatsuki dinners- and there're a lot of dishes. ...I mean a lot.)
Deidara, worn out by the idea of spending a good two hours working three weeks in a row with that mountain of dishes, dragged himself into the Akatsuki lounge to finish the Nancy Drew novel he'd been working on. He'd put his feet up and forget about it until he had to actually do something. No use crying over spilt milk...although most of the time he was the one who spilled other people's milk. (Please take a moment for a mental image of Gaara being sad because Deidara knocked over his glass of milk.)
And that's just what he did. (Relaxed, not spilled Gaara's milk.) But he had only just opened the book when it was taken from his hands by a rather irritated Hidan. "What the #! did you do??" He yelled, and Kakuzu looked up momentarily as he had sensed the money sign hidden in Hidan's swear.
"Woke up, got out of bed..."
"Not that, the girl, you !!"
Deidara grabbed his book back angrily. "Just go screw yourself."
"Go screw YOUR MOM!" Hidan yelled back.
There was a silence.
"I knew that comeback was cool!" Kakuzu called.
"It's not!" Deidara snapped, slightly queasy.
"Wait a minute!" Hidan said slowly, his eyes widening. "Deidara's got a soft spot...!" He grinned evilly. Deidara glared at him. "Deidara's a mamma's boy!" He cried to the whole common room. Everyone looked over.
And laughed.
"Oh, god, just kill me now!" Konan giggled, over in an armchair. (She had left Tsuki in the room to explore a bit. She didn't feel like sticking around, I guess.)
Zets2 was roaring with laughter, and zets1 was almost reduced to tears. (wouldn't it be weird if only one of them started crying?)
"Shut the hell up!" Deidara roared, a sort of poisonous fury speckling his glare.
"Oooh, defensive!" Kakuzu snorted.
Deidara punched him.
"And all this time we thought he didn't like 'your mom' jokes because he thought they were lame!" Hidan gasped, doubled over with silent laughter.
Deidara, about ready to pull his hair out, stormed from the lounge. Those complete morons! Just because they all had broken families. (not saying he actually is a mamma's boy.)
He found himself walking towards the maze of tightly woven tunnels he had become so familiar with. Because that was the only place he couldn't be found. So, he headed towards a cramped, corner-y cave he knew was perfect for sulking, and almost tripping over a small lump on the floor.
Which turned out to be a small girl, huddled up.
"What the- oh." Deidara glowered. "It's you."
Tsuki looked up. "I...I got lost." She said shakily. Apparently she had been quite frightened.
"Well you shouldn't have come here, it's impossible to find your way out."
"You seem to know where you're going."
"Yeah, well, I'm special."
Tsuki didn't seem to know what to say to this remark, so she stayed quiet. Deidara sighed. "Fine, you know what? I need you to come with me anyway. Leader-san wants to talk to you."
Tsuki's face brightened a bit, and helped herself up. Deidara, who was still in a bad mood, grabbed her arm and pulled her along the long and winding road...erm...path...that led to near Leader-san's office.
Through the corridors, down this hall...and there was the tunnel that led straight into Leader-san's chamber. "Here." He said, and pulled her straight into Leader-san's chamber without knocking.
Pein was sitting on his desk, throwing darts at the chair with enough force to send it spinning in circles and chuckling to himself.
Deidara stopped and stared, and Tsuki looked a bit confused. "Is he... always like that?" she asked quietly, attracting Pein's attention.
He looked wildly over his shoulder and promptly fell off his desk in surprise. "You... don't- don't come in without knocking!" He spluttered angrily, sitting himself down in his chair and onto one of he darts, although he managed to not jump up embarrassingly. (This meant, however, that he was sitting upon a rather sharp pointy object that was poking him in uncomfortable places, and it really hurt...)
"What...what do you want." He said gruffly, regaining his composure.
Of course, not in time to stop Deidara's snorts of laughter. (Well, at least his bad mood is gone.)
"Tsuki, sir, you told me to bring her." He said, gesturing towards the girl standing timidly next to him.
"Um, hi." Tsuki said nervously, not knowing whether she should laugh a little as well (it had been rather ridiculous,) or bow, or something. She compromised by nodding her head and giving a little nervous laugh.
Pein didn't notice, as he was in extreme discomfort. "Yes, yes, that's all well," he said hurriedly, not really paying attention.
"So you meet her now." Deidara prompted, giving Tsuki a little push to go say hello or something.
"H-hi," Tsuki said again. "I'm Tsuki, um..."
"Tsuki, yes, alright, I am Pein, although you shall address me as Leader-san." If only he wasn't a #Q! squib, he could vanish the damn thing...
"So can she stay?" Deidara asked, not wanting to stay for idle chat.
Pein had no intentions of letting them stay for idle chat, as he wanted them out of there so he could get off the needle that was currently stuck in his rear. "Sure, fine, just don't expect me to be bothered with her. Now shoo...I'm busy."
"Busy, huh?" Deidara snorted. "Yeah. Yeah, alright, we'll leave." But all the same, he was happier.
Tsuki breathed a sigh of relief (so did Pein) as Deidara hustled her from the shadowy cave.
"So...so I can stay!" She said, feeling happier now that she was outside Leader-san's office. There was a sort of aura in there, it was rather frightening.
"Yeah, you can stay." Deidara confirmed, grinning as well, mainly because it had been so funny seeing Leader-san brought down a notch, but there was also something else he was happy about.
They walked in a comfortable silence a while, and then Tsuki asked, "Are we going back to the Akatsuki lounge?"
"Hell no, I'm not going back in there for a week at least." Deidara shook his head. "They're all demons." (He's one to talk.)
"Then... where are we going?"
Deidara looked at the ceiling thoughtfully. "I'm going to my room. Blow an hour or two. You can come if you like." The one person in the Akatsuki who wasn't going to laugh his/her head off at the sight of him.
Tsuki accepted, and so Deidara showed her towards his room. Upon walking in, he noticed that, as always, his room was a mess. Not in the clutter everywhere sort of mess, but everything was singed or broken looking. He didn't care much for his belongings. Except the bookshelf, which was in a separate room, (so he didn't burn any of them) and his large collection of magazines, (in the same other room) nothing looked particularly presentable.
Tsuki didn't seem to mind. "Wow," she said. "How did everything get so burnt?"
Deidara grinned. "I can show you," he offered, fingering the clay he always kept by his side.
"Um, alright," Tsuki said, and sat down on the (burnt) couch. "Woo me."
Deidara smirked to himself. He grabbed some clay, not from the bag at his hip, but from a table he used for sculpting. (Explosive pottery... great gifts.) Taking some in his hand/mouth thing, (what do you call it?) he turned towards Tsuki. "Are you afraid of loud noises?" He asked, although he didn't particularly care either way.
"I guess if they startle me," Tsuki said. "You're not going to... set something on fire, are you?"
"Not purposely..." Deidara trailed off, and produced from his hand a dragonfly. Tsuki's eyes widened with interest. The dragonfly took flight, and Tsuki watched it flutter lazily around the room, until it landed delicately on a hat stand (yard sale. He couldn't resist).
And there it exploded, with such a display of colors and such a racket that she thought she might explode along with it! (It went boom )
But no, in a matter of seconds it was calm again, and the hat stand didn't really work as a hat stand anymore. It was more of a hat stump. But still.
"Woah..." Tsuki commented, still staring mesmerized at the place where there used to be the top half of a hat stand.
And this turned into a fireworks display of such, although Deidara liked to think 'art exhibition'. But eventually, when Deidara had run out of tricks, (or tricks that wouldn't reduce his room to ashes), and Tsuki had oohed and aahed at all of his careful creations, he invited her back into the side cave slash alcove in which he kept his reading material.
"Wow... that's a lot of magazines." Tsuki whispered (because her ears were still ringing form the noise of the previous display).
"Yeah, I collect." Deidara explained, offering her the one beanbag chair with unusual hospitality. "And for that matter, supply for the rest of the Akatsuki." He rolled his eyes. (Eye?)
"Can I?" Tsuki asked, gesturing towards the organized pile of magazines.
"Sure, sure," Deidara waved his hand idly. "Whichever."
"Thanks!" Tsuki reached over and ended up grabbing a Mad magazine, and Deidara just sat down where he was and picked a book of the shelf that stood across from the magazines.
It was a romance novel.
Tuesday night (the 27th) the Akatsuki were called, once again, to eat together. It was take-out, as no one felt like cooking and would rather spend a few bucks. Except Kakuzu. Who decided he'd rather starve and had nothing on his plate.
"Pass the turkey."
Itachi ignored Hidan's request.
"I said, pass the # turkey!"
Itachi continued eating.
Hidan threw his fork at Itachi while swearing violently. Itachi caught it and held it hostage.
"Gimme my fork back."
Itachi ignored Hidan's request.
"Silly, aren't they," Luna said. Tsuki, who was sitting next to her, nodded.
"But won't they get hurt...?"
"Probably not," Luna said nonchalantly, helping herself to a little more potatoes. (I like potatoes.)
Tsuki watched as Hidan began throwing knives that he'd hidden under his cloak at Itachi, and Leader-san, from the head of the table, began yelling at Hidan for bringing them to the table. And Itachi dodged them all anyway. (He used Kakuzu's plate as a shield, because it was empty next to him.)
Having seen enough, Tsuki looked around the table again. There were so many interesting individuals... But the one that stood out the most was the man across from her. He had a flytrap growing out of his shoulders, or so she assumed, as his cloak managed to cover the roots. He wasn't eating; he was just staring blankly ahead of him.
Well, sort of.
He had two differently shaped and colored eyes. One was staring straight ahead, not really focused on anything, and the other was looking under the table. (Zets1 brought a magazine. Just to be clear, yes, it was Deidara's.) It was as if he was two different people.
Zets2 continued his stare ahead. The new girl was looking at him. And Zets1, he supposed, but he didn't particularly care. (They'd had a fight earlier about the very magazine Zets1 was reading, so he wasn't particularly happy with his other half at the moment. Which kind of confuses me. So I hope you're not lost.)
He looked up, and she blushed and looked away quickly. What a strange girl.
Zets1 laughed at an article in the magazine, startling Zets2 and giving Leader-san something else to shout about.
Dinner passed without much more event, but before anyone could get up, Konan (who had disappeared somewhere half way through, I suppose) came back in with a large sort of cake.
"Wait a minute, I thought you refused to cook for us tonight!" Kisame yelled from the far end of the table.
"I don't cook for you!" Konan yelled back. "I cook when I want to!"
"You're the only one who ever cooks!"
"Oh, because I'm a girl, I suppose?" Konan said angrily.
"Not so much that you're a girl, more that we're not!"
Konan threw the nearest heavy object at him. Despite the fact that the nearest heavy object was Tobi.
"What the- oww! Konan! He bit me!"
"Sorry!" Tobi clambered off the disgruntled fish-thing.
"Wait a minute," Hidan said. "How the # did he bite you? He's wearing a # mask!"
Kisame said nothing.
"So what's the occasion?" Leader-san asked, as Konan began cutting the cake.
"I thought it might be nice if we had something to welcome Tsuki," She said, having gotten over Kisame's remark.
"You're just happy to have someone to dress up." Kisame grumbled, still sore about having a Tobi chucked his direction.
"That's not true!" Konan glared at him. "I simply think that-"
"Just because Itachi wouldn't let you near Luna doesn't mean that-"
"Luna has nothing to do with this!" Konan screeched. (Wooo... mood swings.)
"O rly?"
"Ya rly!"
"Shut up and cut the cake." Deidara said, head in hands.
"Why doesn't he cut the cake?" Konan seethed, pointing at Kisame. "Is it because he's not a girl? Is it?"
"No, it's because the last time he went near something sharp he was out of action for three days. Now cut."
Hidan took out his last knife.
"Not you, put it back."
"Aww..."
And in due time the cake was cut, and passed around. Kisame's slice was rather smaller than everyone else's, causing him to complain rather irritatingly.
Tsuki offered him some of her cake, but Konan glared at her in a 'don't you dare side with him' sort of way, and she decided it might be safer to just finish her cake.
After dinner everyone just sort of slipped off to the Akatsuki lounge, except Deidara, who stayed behind to wash all the dishes.
Tsuki sat in a chair in the corner next to Konan, who was zoned out listening to her headphones. Everyone seemed to be doing something, Zetsu was in a corner watching the wall, (well, the paint on the wall, but she doesn't know that) Tobi was playing with a yoyo, Hidan and Kakuzu were thumb wrestling, (Even though, once again, they both despise thumb wrestling.) and Itachi was curled up in front of a rough looking fireplace with Luna. Kisame was somewhere else.
Wait, no, he wasn't anymore, he walked in.
He walked automatically to the ping-pong table, because lately he'd taken to putting it against the wall and using the wall as his opponent. He picked it up to move it.
Something tapped his shoulder.
He jumped, dropping the table on his toe.
"Sht...what do you want." He asked, turning around to see Tsuki looking rather nervous behind him.
"I...um... do you want to play ping-pong?" She asked, looking down.
Kisame stared at her in amazement. "Hell yeah. Get over there, here's your paddle."
Tsuki, rather glad she'd asked, shuffled over to the opposing side of the ping-pong table.
"I'm not very good," She said.
"Prepare to die!" Kisame grinned.
However, Tsuki won, despite her many faults. Which drove Kisame nuts, because she was possibly even worse than Hidan. And as we all know, Hidan sucks at ping-pong. Zets2 watched.
"Ha ha, she sucks at ping pong." He said quietly.
"Yeah, so do you." Zets1 grumbled, staring determinedly at the wall.
"You're half my coordination."
"You have no coordination."
"You spell coordination like a Brit!" (1)
"Wait, what?" Zets1 said, astonished. "How does that relate to anything?"
"Sorry...Internet flash..."
Zets1 shook his head, shaking Zets2's head at the same time because that's how it works. "You and your internet flashes."
"Weren't you watching too?"
"I was trying my hardest not to."
"If you'd just pay attention...some of them are funny."
"Yeah. Yeah, I paid attention once, and al I got was a watermelon crashing into a wall and a never ending trip to mars." (2)
"Which was hilarious."
"Zeeky buggy doog."
Zets2 giggled.
"You idiot."
"Fleece snag jet!" Yelled Deidara from across the room, being that sort of person. (He had just come in, having broken about fifty dishes and granted reprieve of his chore)
"Aww, you couldn't blow up the whole world, give it up!" Zets1 yelled back.
"I blew up a personal world!" (3)
"Wait, what?"
"Exactly!"
"He didn't blow anything up, did he," Zets1 said doubtfully.
"Nope." Zets2 answered.
"What didn't he blow up?"
Zetsu (all of him) looked up. Apparently, Kisame had stormed out in resentment that he couldn't even beat the small new addition, (well...small to him. He's tall.) and left Tsuki to wander. And so she had come over and heard the end of the conversation.
Zets1 answered. "We're not really sure. Someone's world, apparently."
"He can blow up an entire world?" Tsuki said, rather amazed.
Zets2 frowned. "Naw, he likes to talk big."
Zets1 laughed. "Like that time he told everyone he had built a Kepla block pyramid and then claimed Tobi had knocked it down when we asked to see it."
Tsuki giggled despite herself, as it's rather hard not to hear something like that and not giggle. Admit it, you giggled a little. At least on the inside.
Konan came up behind Tsuki. "Hey!" she greeted them happily, and turned to Tsuki.
"Hey, do you have anything to sleep in?" she asked. Tsuki, realizing she hadn't really packed anything, shook her head embarrassedly.
"Great! I have some things you could use!" Konan said happily, and grabbed her arm. "Come on, let's see how they fit!"
Tsuki waved bye to Zetsu. "See you!"
Zets2 waved back, and Zets1 went back to staring at the wall, still smiling over Deidara's idiocy.
"So I have this great night gown, it'll look fabulous on you, because of the way your hair crops above your shoulders."
Tsuki, feeling that maybe she was a doll to Konan after all, resolved to give her the dusty bin of Barbies she'd played with at a young age. (If she got the chance to retrieve them...)
"...But if you prefer two piece pajamas, I have this green silk that's great for summer nights, except the top slips so don't wear it when anyone else is around. I'm okay though, you don't have to worry about me."
"Um...ok..." Tsuki said, feeling this would be a long night.
It was, but that's beside the point.
Capricornicopia- capricornicopia-capricornicopia- capricornicopia-capricornicopia- capricornicopia-capricornicopia- capricornicopia-capricornicopia- capricornicopia-capricornicopia
(1) Tiny plaid ninjas. Internet flash. If you haven't seen it, go look it up.
(2) Another Internet flash. Zeeky boogy doog, and fleece snag jet are from the same one. The Demented Cartoon Movie, it's half an hour of complete nonsense. Love.
(3) Just don't ask.
And that's chapter one. Thanks for reading, seriously. I've written the whole thing, so as soon as I'm asked or am decidedly bored the next will be up. Feel free to shoot questions, sorry if it was confusing.
Reviews are appreciated.