Arrested
Disclaimer: I do not own Superman or anything related to the franchise, except for a few products I have purchased. Like, a wall calendar. And a few episodes of Smallville. DC Comics and Warner Bros owns him.
A/N: Yet another jogging brain-child, this is a short, very humorous, slightly sarcastic piece that I just had to do. I wrote a majority of it while I was half-asleep, so please excuse some of my pathetic attempts at humor.
Clark Kent, the famous Kryptonian superhero with an odd affinity for primary colors, dashed out of the Daily Planet building and entered the first alley he could find, which was conveniently located right next to the building.
"I knew I picked the Daily Planet for a reason," Clark thought to himself as he dashed into the ally, quickly changed, and then emerged flying high in his skin-tight suit and cape, ready to dedicate his life to fighting crime and the forces of evil… wait, wrong superhero. He was ready to fight for truth, justice, and the American way.
The distress call that pulled him away from his mundane article came across the country in California; an annual brush fire was getting out of hand and the firefighters of Southern California needed help desperately if they wanted to stop it before any fatalities.
He flew across the country, breaking the sound barrier in the process. Superman winced; there were going to be some complaints in newspapers across the country tomorrow. But he quickly shut the thought out of his mind as he arrived at his destination, the fire blazing hot and the firefighters barely able to contain it.
Regarding and examining the fire, Superman spotted a few unlucky souls who were trapped in the middle of the inferno. Seeing no other way, he quickly flew to and carried each one individually out of the deadly fire.
"There has got to be a better way to do this," he thought to himself. But there was no time to dwell on that now; he had people to save, fires to put out.
Using his super breath, he blew as hard as he could at the fire, hoping that it would go out like candles on a birthday cake. To his dismay, all it did was make the fire grow even brighter and stronger, and caused all the firefighters to shrink back.
"What the heck are you doing? Blowing on the fire just makes it stronger!" one firefighter yelled at him as others murmured their assent.
"Well, I got that now," he muttered to himself, and then wracked his brain to come up with a plan B.
Finally thinking of something, he quickly flew around the fire, getting faster and faster with each pass. Soon the spread-out fire became a tall, towering column of burning air, and then all of the sudden it disappeared; the vortex sucking all of the oxygen out, making the fire die.
"I knew Sky High was more than just for entertainment purposes," he thought to himself, referencing the movie that gave him that idea.
Proud of himself, he landed near a group of firefighters, who were quietly nodding their thanks. But before he could go off, or say some witty one-liner about fires that would be used multiple times in documentaries about him, he heard police sirens coming towards him. Glancing down the road, he saw a swarm of squad cars coming towards him. Confused, Superman waited there until California's finest arrived.
As the cars slowed to a stop in front of them, all the policemen got out and aimed their guns at Superman, hiding behind their doors as if they were facing a dangerous criminal.
One officer took his bullhorn out of the car. "Put your hands on your head, now. You are under arrest," he stated as he slowly walked towards Superman, gun still drawn.
Even more confused, Superman did as he was told. "Excuse me, officer, but why am I under arrest?" he asked.
"You, Superman, are an illegal alien in the country of the United States of America. Your living here is a federal crime," the officer said as he cuffed Superman, to the disbelieving stares of the firefighters.
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense," another office said, reading Superman his Miranda rights.
"But I don't live here anymore," Superman said mildly, sure that this was all a mistake.
"Aha! A confession!" the first officer exclaimed, very pleased with himself. "Well, buddy, it doesn't matter where you live now, because you are a criminal. Its illegal immigrants like you that wreck the school systems and cause the national deficit."
"But I save hundreds, sometimes thousands of lives every day!" Superman protested.
"Yeah, yeah, tell that to the judge. Now come on, buddy, just get into the car," the officer said, leading Superman into a waiting squad car.
Suddenly, a white flash came from the crowd of firefighters. Everyone turned to stare at the culprit, who blushed.
"What? Superman's being arrested! I need some proof or else no one's gonna believe me!" the man said indignantly.
A/N 2: Only in California do we have In-N-Out, not stop at stop signs, and arrest Superman for being an illegal immigrant xD