Hey guys! Thanks for clicking on to read this XD Its my first real attempt at writing a humourous story, and I think I didn't do too bad!
Plus its also my first attempt at anything smutty! Although its only a lime, not lemon. Not quite up there yet!
THIS IS BASED ON THE 5th TO LAST EPISODE WHEN THEY'RE ON THE BOAT HEADING TO THE FINAL DUEL! ITS AFTER THE FIGHTING OVER WHO'S CHALLENGING THE PHARAOH AND BEFORE TRISTAN AND DUKE FIND JOEY!
"Still moping over not being able to challenge the Pharaoh?"
Joey jumped as a voice interrupted his brooding, making him turn around and groan when he saw the arrogant Kaiba leaning against the wall of the cabin, one eyebrow raised, lips twitched up into a smirk and his arms crossed in that usual arrogant way. Not for the first time did Joey wonder how the hell he managed to cross his arms with that incredibly tight black shirt he wore, and wondered if it ripped at any point in time…
He shook himself out of his thoughts and glared at the brunet, wanting to smack him for being such an arrogant bastard. "Not as much as you are."
"I don't mope."
"Sorry Captain Broodypants," Joey snarled, rolling his eyes as he turned back out to the ocean. He really couldn't stand the guy sometimes, or sit him either, despite that making no sense. He sighed and his breath came out in a small cloud, twirling away in front of him creating a beautiful sight that Joey couldn't not smile at. He felt himself jump again thought when another cloud joined his and they danced around each other.
His heart stopped as he felt a presence next to him, and raising slightly shy brown eyes, he saw a pair of ice blue looking down at him.
"Need anything?" he couldn't stop himself from asking sarcastically, and he was surprised to see a small flash of humor light up before Kaiba was suddenly leaning against the rail beside him, so close that if one of them even moved their covered arms would brush.
"Just enjoying the night."
"And you couldn't enjoy it away from me?"
"Would you stop being such a PMSing idiot? God Mutt, you're worse than Gardner."
"Hey!" Joey glared at the brunet but he ignored him, watching the dark water under the moonlight instead, and Joey couldn't help but think that this could be slightly romantic, if he pushed away the fact he was currently standing with the arrogant Kaiba, not the innocent Kaiba, despite the idea he would never get romantically involved with Mokuba. The kid was what, eleven?
"Twelve."
"Huh?"
"Mokuba's twelve, not eleven."
Joey felt himself turn bright red when he realised he'd thought out loud, and once again as those crystal eyes turned back to him he swore he saw a spark of humor in them, making his heart skip a beat.
Wait…
Wait what!
"Cat got your tongue?"
A frantic Joey frowned during the middle of his panic attack. Had Seto asked something? Oh hell, since when did he reference to the bastard as Seto? Since when did his heart leap into his throat when he looked into those eyes. Since when did his hands grow sweaty, and his face light up like a red lightbulb, and he completely zone out as he stared at the gorgeous man in front of him? Since when did he think he was gorgeous!
"…huh?"
"I asked you a question, moron."
"O-Oh… um… yes?"
Seto raised an eyebrow in his direction, his face unimpressed. "I asked what you were moping about, if not the Pharaoh. I wasn't aware it was a yes or no question."
Crap.
Joey grinned at Seto, trying to laugh it off as he scratched the back of his neck. Damn he was a screw up, but he had to answer the question. Although why Seto was asking he had no idea to be perfectly honest. "I told you I'm not moping," he insisted, grinning at the still unimpressed brunet.
"Fine, what are you brooding, sulking, pining, fretting, mooning, languishing over?"
"Aren't some of those lovey dovey words?"
"They can be used in that context, yes." Suddenly Seto was raising both eyebrows as he looked at Joey anew. "What? Are you languishing over the Pharaoh? Languishing as in using the romantic term for it?"
'English motherfucker! Do you speak it!' Joey couldn't help but groan inside his head, but he still got the general gist of what the brunet was saying, and he couldn't help but be outraged by what the guy was saying.
"WHAT!"
"For the love of… I'll cut this down into small words so you'll be able to understand what I'm saying." Oh the brunet looked like he was really enjoying this. "Do you, the moronic, foolish mutt have a 'crush' on the dead spirit living inside of Yugi?"
"NO!" Joey swore his throat almost tore in half as he shrieked that one syllable, his eyes practically bugging out of his sockets. Seto just raised an eyebrow in his direction before he turned back to the water, his eyes reflecting the moon lit waves as they rocked the sea. Not a word came out of the brunet's mouth in reply, and Joey couldn't help the sinking feeling that maybe Seto didn't believe him. "Seto…"
Blue eyes were wild as they glared at him. "Who gave you permission to use my name!"
"Its your name!"
"To few. You will always call me Kaiba."
"Ah, no I won't! I'll call you whatever the hell I want!"
"You have no right-"
"It's your goddamn name! Whats the problem!"
"You're my problem!"
"How the hell am I your problem?"
"Piss off Mutt. Go and snog that dead guy or something."
Joey was about to reply when he suddenly froze. Now, he wasn't exactly the smartest guy in the book, but those days in the gangs really did help him read body language and tone of voice. You had to if you wanted to survive. And for some reason, Seto's body language and tone seemed to be…
"Are you jealous?" he practically screamed, his eyes wider than before, and the way Seto turned his head away quickly with a small blush appearing on his cheeks was a dead give away.
No way.
No fucking way.
Seto Kaiba was… jealous? Of him?
Quietly Joey turned back to the water, his thoughts running overdrive in his head. Seto Kaiba was jealous. Well, it wasn't a rarity from the times he'd talked to Mokuba about his brother. The kid had spilt all about how his brother bought one of Siegfried's, may that pink haired man who looked like a woman never see them again for fear of insanity, smaller companies and tore in right down because the guys little brother Leon had hung out with Mokuba for a few hours completely under the care of Siegfried. Apparently the guy beside him had been jealous that Mokuba had wanted to spend time with Siegfried rather than him.
Mokuba had explained later that it wasn't the case. He'd only done it cause Leon was scared of Seto, but it was too late to save the company.
And Joey was terrified of what Seto might do to him.
"Look Seto-" a sharp glare was sent his way. "Kaiba I mean. What you think isn't true. I mean, I don't love Atem the way you think… so theres nothing to be jealous of. I promise I won't get in your way." Suddenly a lightbulb lit up in Joey's head. "Is that why you wanted to battle him? So you could purposely lose and keep him here?" He turned his intrigued eyes on to the brunet, only to freeze at the disbelief there.
"You are honestly, the most idiotic, moronic, halfwit, no brained, oblivious fool I've ever met."
Joey recoiled slightly at the deadpanned way Seto said that, his eyes blazing with something that wasn't anger… something that seemed a lot more fiery than that. But Joey couldn't figure out what it was, instead he just stood there absorbed in the way those blue eyes seemed to dance with emotions that were trying to scream out something, anything.
Suddenly it clicked.
"You're… you're not jealous of me…" Joey's eyes were wide. Seto was jealous of… of… Atem!
He felt the other weight on the bar push off and Seto's long white cloak managed to get under his own cream one, brushing against his leg and snapping him out of his daze as those blue eyes left his, as well as the person they belonged too. His breath hitched in his throat, his head screamed that this was wrong and weird, but his heart was flying around his chest, giving him a new feeling he hadn't even felt when Mai, Mai, had been around with all her flirting ways. It made him shiver and soon even his brain liked the feeling and was screaming at him to stop the brunet before he went inside.
"Seto!"
Ugh, he probably should've thought about not using his first name as he saw the brunet freeze, his back ridged and shoulders tense. Joey bit his lip before thinking about what to do, should have also planned that in advance. Should he approach the other? Or call him back? Or not do anything? Dammit! Why was this so hard!
"Look… I-"
"Just shut up." Joey was instantly silent as Seto's commanding voice ran over to him. "Lets just pretend I said nothing."
The blond was about to nod in agreement, he was too dazed to really understand what the hell was going on, but then he managed to catch on to what the brunet was saying.
"WHAT!"
He made up his mind, choosing to storm over to the brunet and grab him by the front of his shirt… his tight shirt that clung waaaay to tightly, and drag him down to his level. Of course, he wasn't counting on those intoxicating eyes to be staring at him right in the face and he faltered for a minute. That was until his brain decided to pack a snot, jump on the bandwagon with his heart and begin to pummel him from the inside out just to wake him the hell up!
He desperately shook his head, not caring if Seto thought he was crazy, hell he thought the brunet was an absolute nutcase half the time before focusing on what he was going to say, knowing that if he screwed it up there he goes, out the window, down the drain and far far away from this gorgeous man in front of him. Funny that, he was still confused on how he got from hating the guys guts to having an intensely huge crush on him that probably, if Yugi or Tea had an opinion, was border line love. Of course they'd sprout out something like "Love and hate are just different sides to the same coin Joey!" or "There's a thin line between love and hate Joey, we think you just figured that one out!". Maybe even Duke and Tristan would have an opinion? Something along the lines of "Dude! Its Kaiba! Dude! Its a dude! DUDE!" or "Damn straight! Now make sure you're on top! Pound that bitch into the middle of next week!". What about Ryou? "Oh Joey! I'm so happy for you and Kaiba! Lets hope my evil alter-ego does come out and rip you two to shreds while you're canoodling!" and Mokuba? "BIG BROTHER! Are you going to get married? Have kids? Will I be the Uncle? Oh Seto! We'll be one big happy family!". And what about Serenity? "Now Joey, be a good boy and be nice to Kaiba. He is a good person!" followed by some other random mushy crap before her and Mokuba ran off together to plan their wedding while exchanging baby names as if they're the ones getting married.
Oh god! What about Mai? "Tap that guy Joey. Tap him hard." THE HORROR!
"Are you going to say something? Or just stand there like an idiot?"
"DEAR GOD! WE CAN'T TELL THE OTHERS!"
There was dead silence, and Joey realised that Seto had not been present in his head as he had gone on his wild little imaginative tangent. And the way the brunet was staring at him as if he'd literally just gone off the deep ending was not soothing any of the desperation that Joey was currently feeling. He had to explain it to the brunet! Or else he'd tell everyone and then they'd really be screwed!
"Look Seto-"
"Kaiba."
"-Thats what I said. We can't tell the others!"
"Tell them what exactly?"
"That we like each other!" The blond cried, dragging Seto's face close to his as his eyes went slightly mad. Of course he didn't see the stunned confusion in the blue eyes because he was too busy beginning to rant an rave outside this time. "Look! If we tell Yugi and Tea and probably the Pharaoh it'll be all 'We told you so! Love is so powerful blah blah blah FRIENDSHIP!' and that'll be HORRIBLE! Then Tristan and Duke will be all "We hate you cause you're a manly man who likes other men wah wah!' or they'll get all up in our grill about how I should be topping and you be the bottom and then BAM! We'll fight because we all know you're a control freak that will want to top and I'll be peer pressured until I finally shove my dick up where the sun don't shine! And that is not cool!"
Seto was stunned speechless as the blond ranted on, and couldn't stop the small blush appearing on his cheeks at the rather… vulgar way Joey described sex.
"Oh ho! And don't get me started on Ryou! He'll be all nice and supportive but deep down his alter-ego, DESPITE the fact he 'doesn't exist' anymore will come out just to ruin it all and we'll all have to go on a mad goose chase just to try get our stupid dignity, and your pride back! Because your stupid ego will be all cry cry baby if anything of yours go's missing!"
Okay, this was not making any sense.
"And then Mokuba will threaten me not to hurt you, and Serenity will threaten me not to hurt you but NONE of them would threaten you! And then they'd run off and start planning our stupid marriage and having kids and I'm just not up to that kind of commitment yet! I'm what, eighteen? THAT'S TOO YOUNG! I don't want to get married until I'm in a stable relationship with a healthy income! Let alone having kids! I mean seriously!"
He was gone, completely utterly gone. Waving his hands in the air as he blurted everything out at the stunned brunet who knew that he could and should probably move away, if he was slow and quiet, but chose not to.
"And Mai! God! She'll want all the details and everything! Right down to how big your dick is and in the middle of having a shower or sex or while you're even getting changed I'll have to whip out a stupid ruler just so I can tell her and get her off my back! Honestly! It'll kill the both of us! And then it'll be horrifying and I JUST CAN'T DO IT SETO! I LIKE YOU BUT WE CAN'T TELL ANYONE!"
He let his hands flop to his sides, panting heavily as he stared into icy eyes, waiting for the other teenagers answer.
"Joey…"
Oh god, here it came.
"We're not in a relationship."
Wait what…?
"WHAT!" Joey cried, lunging for the guys shirt again and pulling him close. "Of course we are!"
Seto attempted to pry Joey's hands away, his fingers curling around the blond's and Joey couldn't stop his heart from pounding even harder at the direct skin contact. Who knew Seto had such soft hands? Maybe it was a rich guy thing.
"No. No we are not. I think you went a bit overboard with possibilities."
Suddenly it hit home.
Instantly Joey was throwing himself away from Seto, his face one of utter horror as he fell back against the wall of the ship, sinking down it slowly. Trying to block out the image of the brunet, he drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, along with burying his head between his knees. Stupid pressure, this is what it does to him! Makes him a right utter moron!
"Wheeler."
He refused to look up.
"Wheeler look at me."
Nope. He was fine where he was. Just peachy in fact.
"Dammit Joey! Look at me!"
A small gasp left the blond's mouth as fingers were suddenly, somehow, under his chin and yanking it up, forcing him to look up into deep blue eyes.
Oh? They're deep now are they? Stupid brain, stupid heart, stupid EVERYTHING!
"Wheeler-" Seto cut himself off before a small blush appeared on his cheeks, making Joey curious as to what was about to come out of the brunet's mouth. "I mean Joey. Are you really concerned about all that? If… if we did… enter a relationship together?"
Now this was interesting. A nervous Seto? Joey had heard from Mokuba this happened rarely. Well, it being shown on the outside was a rare thing. It'd only happened really when Mokuba was kidnapped and Seto couldn't find him, or they were about to find him or some other occasion that involved Mokuba that it was clearly okay for Seto to appear to be nervous about.
Stop ranting!
"I… yeah…" Joey whispered, his eyes dropping down to stare at the deck as he suddenly felt… ashamed? Why the hell was he ashamed?
Seto was quiet for a long time, his fingers still under Joey's chin, and the blond didn't complain. It actually felt kinda nice, the soft fingers against his skin that is, not the earth shattering silence that was currently shattering him. He needed to find a way to break it, anything! But for some reason he felt obligated to allow Seto to be the one to break it, to stop this awkward feeling.
And stop it he did.
Joey was stunned as he felt his head being raised up once again, only to feel a pair of soft, almost too soft to be true, lips press gently against his, making him gasp on the inside. When his eyes shot open from when they'd originally been closed, he was meet by a pair of warm, warm, blue eyes looking right back, twinkling slightly before they slid closed, and the pressure on Joey's own lips was increased.
Dear lord.
Seto Kaiba was kissing him.
His heart and brain were both screaming at him now, trying to wake him up from the strange trance that settled over him as he felt Seto's soft lips dance over his own unresponsive ones. He knew he should respond, just so Seto wouldn't get the wrong idea, but he was too hypnotized, too stunned beyond belief to do much except sit there and absorb the feelings running through his body and count the long eyelashes in front of him.
It was only a few seconds later when Seto pulled away, his eyes slowly opening as he looked straight at the blond in front of him, their ice blue and golden brown orbs clashing in a heated gaze.
It took Joey less than a second to throw himself on the brunet, his body slamming them onto the deck as his lips came crashing down on Seto's.
Almost instantly their eyes slid shut and a new kind of duel began, one of moving lips and raging tongues as both opened their mouths at the same time and they invaded each others with their tongues, both desperate to taste as much of the other as they could. Joey almost felt himself melt inside though when he actually tasted Seto Kaiba, the sweet flavor of strawberries and… chocolate? on his tongue along with something perfectly unique to Seto. It surprised him, that Seto tasted like such a yummy desert despite his cold appearance, but he threw the thought aside as he attempted to devour even more of the guy. He felt himself shiver slightly as Seto sat up, one hand on Joey's hip to keep him hovering above his lap on his knees while their lips managed to stay together by Seto's other hand reaching up to cup his cheek, before trailing it up to plant in Joey's unruly locks of gold and tug him even closer, slamming their chest together.
He felt like he was in heaven.
It was his turn to submit slightly, to allow Seto to truly dominate his mouth like he'd done to the brunet, and his hands rested on Seto's cheeks, wishing that they could get even closer than they were now, but that was impossible unless he wanted to completely join bodies with Seto. Which he did… but in an entirely different way that involved a lot of bare skin and a hell of a lot more moaning than what was currently coming out of his mouth as Seto somehow managed to give him a mouth orgasm using on his tongue. God… it was hot.
Finally though they had to separate, damn them being human's and needing air, and with a wet smack they broke apart, their lips bright red and swelled with a small chain of saliva hanging between them. Soon it broke though, swinging back to the corner of Seto's mouth, and for some reason Joey, despite being horrified by such bodily fluids like this thanks to Tristan's constant drooling over girls, found Seto unbelievably hot with not only his own, but Joey's salvia settled there. And Joey swore the temperature dropped when he watched Seto's tongue dart out and lick it up.
There was silence, the only true noise was the lapping of waves against the boat and their hard breathing as they both tried to muster up the ability to tear their eyes away from the other.
"So…" Joey took a deep breath, trying to force air into his lungs. "So what now?"
"What do you mean?"
"Seriously?" Joey looked at the other in disbelief before he pulled his arms away and sat heavily on Seto's legs, effectively straddling him as his hands settled on Seto's chest. "Seto, we just literally had the most amazing mouth sex-" even he was confused from where the term came from, "-and you have no idea what I mean?"
The blue eyes held a small hint of humor.
"You don't want to tell the others right?"
"…no."
"Then I have no idea."
"W-What! That makes no sense!"
"Joey," the blond smiled at the use of his name. It sounded so amazing coming from Seto. "If you haven't realised, I'm not exactly the skulk around in the shadows type of person."
"But-"
"If we're going to do this, we do it properly."
"What? You mean a date every friday night for a few months before the first proper kiss, then another few months of actually declaring we're going out with some possible making out on the side then a few years and we start to have sex then after all that we get married and live in a two story house with a picket fence, two kids and a dog with a pool out back?"
Seto was quiet as he looked at Joey, and the blond couldn't help but give a smirk that even the brunet would be proud of as he lent forward to whisper in his ear.
"Because quite frankly Seto, if we keep this a secret, I'm happy to let you screw me so hard into the mattress that I'll have to stay there in your bed for a few weeks, naked and ready for the taking when ever you want. Starting from when we get back home."
The hitch in Seto's breath made Joey sure that he'd won.
"Make it a raunchy make out session every night until we get home and you've got a deal."
"My Seto, I didn't know you were such a kinky horn dog."
"You're the dog," Suddenly Joey was melting as Seto licked his neck and kissed it, making him shudder. "And I'll be sure to make you remember it."
"Oh? Are you going to take me from behind? In the dog style?" he grinned as he rubbed against Seto's crotch, to make Seto moan as well as try and release some of the pressure he felt there himself.
"I'm going to do more than just that," Seto purred, knowing the game Joey was playing. "I'm going to play with you Joey, I'm going to stroke you so you whimper, I'm going to suck you until you moan, I'm going to slam myself into you until you scream for more," Joey swore that he was going to explode as he began to rock their hips together even faster, feeling Seto guiding him with a hand on his hip. "You're going to beg and cry for more and more as I tease you're cock with my tongue-" Oh god… he was going into detail! "-and you're going to wish for me to hit that spot over and over again as I thrust into you with my own cock. You're going to want me inside you, so much that you'll do anything, anything, I want just so you can feel this-" he punctured the word with a thrust upwards that made Joey gasp and moan, "-slipping through your tight hole to fill you up."
"Oh god…" Joey practically screamed as he was suddenly on his back, legs on either side of Seto as he continued to rock against his crotch, harder and harder as he whispered dirty things in Joey's ear. But Joey could only register the deep, sexy voice as pleasure filled him up to the brim, making him want more and more just like Seto had said. His back arched as his hips came up to clash with Seto's, making them both cry out.
"Seto… Seto I want you to fuck me… please… oh god touch me!" he begged, and somehow they both managed to get coherent enough to pull away for the barest of moments, pulling each others hard appendages out before they fell back, moaning as skin met skin while they thrusted. Joey knew he was getting close to the brink, too close too soon, but by the way Seto was just breathing heavily in his ear while gasping made him think that he wasn't the only one. It made him shiver when Seto's hands were suddenly on his, one twining their fingers together while the other pulled his hand down to their eager crotches. And Joey was soon shaking with wanton lust as their hands closed around their aroused organs and they fell into sync as they stroked their way to oblivion, moaning at the feel of the others cock in their hand.
It didn't take long, only a few good strokes and soon the two were crying out each others names as they emptied themselves on each others hands, panting and moaning loudly as they hit their high.
Silence, hot heavy silence lay all around them as Seto lost all strength in his legs and fell on top of Joey, catching himself with their joint hands so he didn't crush him.
"Holy… shit…" Joey managed to gasp as they came back down, his eyes still slightly gazed and he relished in the feel of the collapsed Seto on top of him, moving up and down with his chest. That had felt… so damn good and Joey knew he wanted to do it again and again until both him and Seto passed out from exhaustion… and then some.
There was no reply from Seto as he sucked in some deep breaths, but finally Joey watched as he pulled himself up, using one hand to tuck both of them back into their pants before standing up, shakily at first but still managing. With his clean hand, he reached out for Joey, lifting him up.
"Lets go clean up," Seto gasped out, his eyes still slightly gazed and Joey couldn't help but smirk, knowing the brunet, just like him, was still getting over the high. Not questioning where they were going, Joey trundled after Seto as the brunet managed to lead him to the back of the boat, avoiding Duke and Tristan, who seemed to be looking for someone, on their way. Luckily Seto sat him down on the edge of the deck right before Joey just about dropped from exhaustion. He'd be fine in a few minutes, but getting up and moving straight after an experience like that wasn't exactly wise. He was knocked out of his daze as he felt Seto's hand take his, the unclean ones, before he dunked them straight into the water, making Joey hiss at the cold before smiling as Seto's soft fingers grazed over his, cleaning them up.
"Damn Seto… just damn," Joey whistled once the brunet was done, and despite being uncertain, he leaned against the brunet, surprised when he met the guy halfway. He couldn't stop the smile as Seto's head fitted perfectly on his shoulder and he buried his nose into the soft chestnut locks, breathing in the fruity fragrance.
"So…" Seto started after a few minutes of silence, and Joey swore he heard the smirk in the voice. "You wanted me to fuck you."
Instantly a blush was on Joey's face as he thought of when he'd told Seto to… to do just that. "I was in… the mood?"
Seto laughed, and Joey couldn't help but think it was one of the most amazing sounds in the world. It was rare to hear a genuine laugh like this from the brunet. "Maybe I'll do it later."
Another laugh when Joey smacked his arm, an even deeper blush on his cheeks.
"Whatever," he sighed before he was turning around, making Seto look at him. "Look, we are… we are going to try this right?" He got a frown but nod, and he pressed on before Seto could open his mouth. "And we're going to keep it a secret for now right?"
"Joey-"
"Right?"
Seto sighed but nodded his head. With a happy smile, Joey stood up and stretched his back while Seto just looked up at him, slightly confused.
"I have to get back, the others are probably wondering where I am," Joey explained. When he saw the small frown on Seto's face, he couldn't help but think he was adorable, despite how much Seto would probably kick his ass if he knew that Joey even thought that. Leaning down, he placed a gentle kiss on Seto's lips. "Look, I'll try to see you by myself whenever I can, I could even sneak out tonight." The frown loosened up slightly, but it didn't go completely. And that was when Joey gathered why. He argued with himself for a minute before he sighed and crouched down, looking straight into Seto's eyes. "How about we make an exception for Mokuba and Serenity? They can know, if they keep it to themselves."
"Alright."
It was the first word, and it was deadpanned, but Joey saw the flash of happiness in Seto's eyes. It surprised him when Seto suddenly stood up, placing a kiss on Joey's cheek as he went before he turned around and left, not even throwing a goodbye over his shoulder. But surprisingly, he was okay with it.
With a happy smile, and a slight skip in his step, Joey made his way back to the front of the boat. For a little more… languishing.
So there we have it! I hope you liked it, I really do. And please maybe drop a review? I'd like to know how my lime scene went at least :)