Summary Wherein Remus's fears are outlined, James's compassion saves Remus, Sirius's curiosity gets the better of him and Peter lets himself compare. A fic on Remus keeping his werewolf status from his friends and why.

Pairings: N/A

Warnings: N/A

Author's Notes: I wrote this a week or two ago and rather liked it. It's a gen fic piece and, well, I adore Remus so had to be centered around him. I wanted to do something around Remus being a werewolf because I really love that part of Remus. The one that protects himself, the one that's selfish because he wants to keep his friends, the one that's afraid of being rejected. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: The rights to Harry Potter and et, belong to J.K. Rowling, Warner Brothers and all of it's publishers. I do not own anything and make no profit off of this fic.

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A Life Uncommon

1 – the little things give you away

He was stuttering again, trying to explain himself, explain why he had disappeared yet again during the middle of the month. I suppressed a smirk. He was so clueless, so naïve, thought he had us fooled with his countless excuses about how his uncle or aunt or grandfather was in the hospital and he needed to see them.

James, Peter and I had already figured it out. He was a werewolf, but we wanted to wait and see if Remus ever had the guts to tell us. I didn't think he would. He was too scared, a pussy. James always smacks me when I say that out loud.

"Was it your aunt?" I enquire, maintaining a look of nonchalance.

"N-no! My uncle, he, he…um, that is, he got poisoned!" The words had come out of his mouth, broken and disconcerted, and this time I couldn't help but smirk.

"Oh really?"

"Y-yes," he answered, his cheeks flushed a light shade of red. Did he honestly think his excuse was a decent one? Because if he did, my, James and I had some work to do.

"Come off it Sirius, leave him alone!" James scowled from beside me. He was scribbling something down on a piece of paper and as I tried to read it, he quickly withdrew it. I gave him a puzzled look but he glared back.

"I, I'd better get going then," Remus smiled, nervously.

My brows knit together, "Why?"

"I have to get my homework," he gulped, getting up from underneath the tree and running off towards the castle.

"He's such an idiot," I laughed. "The scar on his face is a dead give away."

"I told you to shut-up!" James howled, punching me in the air.

"Fuck! What the hell was that for!?"

"For always making Remus more nervous than he already is. Leave him alone, you idiot. He'll tell us and if not, we'll tell him we know eventually. He just needs some time…" James trailed at the end, looking thoughtfully in the direction Remus had run off in.

I shook my head and glanced in the same direction, leaning back so that my body weight rested on my hands. Come on Remus, you can tell us…

2 – don't let your heart break

Sirius always makes him feel horrible. I can tell. Always. He is such a prick at times.

I can understand why he's annoyed that Remus won't tell us, but he really can be rather thick-headed at times.

Peter and I had explained to Sirius why Remus hadn't told us yet, and told him that out of all of us he should know that werewolves were hated and discriminated the most. Sirius had growled something incoherent back and then flopped into his bed, continuing to grumble. Peter had given me a shrug and then went to bed himself. I was the only one who had spent the rest of the night wondering over Remus, wondering how he had gotten bitten and when it had all started.

But we was so protective of his past, never letting a word slip past what his parents did and where they had lived most of his life. I found is a bit upsetting that he couldn't share his secret with us, or at least me. Sirius was an ass and Peter, although a good friend, was sort of odd…I could tell it pained him to be different, and so different at that.

I wonder what he'd say when we told him we knew…Would he be upset, angry or maybe even relieved? I'll have to ask the other two when we should tell him, but I want to give Remus a full chance to explain himself. He deserves as much. It's his secret, his burden, his pain. Sirius doesn't seem to quite grasp that. Then again, Sirius has about as much patience as a two-year old.

Not that I'm one to talk…at times…

All I really know is that Remus doesn't really want us to know. I think it's odd that he doesn't…We're his friends, we all understand. I can see the nervousness on his face when he comes back after transforming and the fear that we may have found out. He's so scared but I'll make sure the day he tells us, all that fear will disappear.

In fact, I think Sirius will tackle Remus to the ground, expressing his undying love for werewolves of all sorts just to prove to him that we're okay with it. That we're with him, through everything and anything.

My eyes are getting heavy and as I glance out the window and see the full moon, shinning, I think I can almost hear a howl in the night.

It's Remus screaming, screaming for someone to save him, for someone to help him. My eyes are practically shut now and the last thing I can think about as I drift off into black is that we'll rescue him. The three of us.

Together.

3 – to be just like me

Sometimes as I watch Remus stutter about where he's been for the past three days, I see a fear much like my own. A fear of never losing my friends, or the people I can trust and count on.

That fear, it chills me, seeing it in Remus's eyes. Seeing his desperation and his pleading that God not let his secret out. I understand that fear. It's like my own, except I have nothing to hide but everything to fear. I can already see that I am below everyone else, even Remus, who's smart and kind, and always tries very hard to fit in.

I know I'm lucky to have all of them, to be their friends, to be the envy of the other students who don't have such friends to count on and laugh with.

Which is why, I will forever hold onto Remus's secret and make sure none of the kids find out because I know and I can feel, even now, with my friends, the fear of being left alone. By myself with no one.

Maybe it makes me selfish to their friend just because I'm afraid of being left alone but I hope not. I really hope not. I want them to depend on me too, for them to think that they can trust me. I hope they can, I really do. Especially Remus.

He's fragile, I can tell. His past, his experiences with being a werewolf haunt him. Sometimes he has nightmares, and he squirms in bed, writhing this way and that, wanting so badly to just scream all of his frustration out. I can relate to that, all of it. Maybe not the part about being a werewolf but the rest yes.

I can feel myself smile as I watch him laughing at a joke Sirius makes about James, and James turns bright red. It's probably about Lily. I laugh along, hoping that this can last forever.

That Remus, James, Sirius and I can be friends forever. To share out secrets and our fears. Maybe one day, when we tell Remus we know, because I know he'll never tell us, we can laugh about that too. Makes Remus feel better, feel stronger and happier.

And as I bite into my toast, he smiles at me and I return the expression, hoping again, that he'll be free to talk with us about his condition. To not feel insecure about it and not feel awful that he is a werewolf.

I hope that one day I can be like him and the others. Strong, resolved, almost carefree. But for now, I need to work on my friendship, make sure they know I'm there for them. Make sure that I can free myself of my insecurities and become a better person.

Just like Remus is trying.

"Peter, where've you gotten lost?" Sirius suddenly asks.

I go bright red in the face and mumble out a, "Nowhere."

"Doesn't seem like it. I just asked you if you were done your potions homework and you didn't reply," he replied.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't. Sorry." I reply meekly.

"Don't worry, I did," Remus replies and I send him a look, hoping he gets my thank-you for getting Sirius off my back.

I think he does, because he smiles at me again. And again, I hope that everything works out for him.

4 –when they're so kind to me

Friends.

I never knew what they were because I never had any but then I met James. He smiled at me warmly and took a seat next to me in Defense Against the Dark Arts. I was terribly nervous but somehow he eased me into talking with him and before I knew it I was laughing at a joke he had made about the teacher.

After him, I met Sirius. He had had a deep scowl on his features and had been muttering about the load of homework he had. I had accidentally bumped into him and he had launched into a full blown verbal attack. I was too shocked to speak and although I don't want to admit it, scared. After a few minutes, he toned down, sighed and apologized. Said he was an idiot for taking out his anger on me and had introduced himself. We walked together to the Great Hall for lunch and there I found James sitting with Peter, the last of my friends.

And with that that lunch we began to hang out, I somehow began to spend time with them and even realized that they were actually my dorm mates. I had been so stunned when I had realized, laughing at how I could have missed such a thing.

It's because of them I realized that I could possibly have friends. Friends, the word had always been so foreign to me. Mum and Dad had tried to set play dates with other kids when I was little but I never talked to any of them. I didn't want to. I was afraid I would have hurt them.

And I knew some of them knew about me, and my condition. They would give me such disapproving looks, and I could see this fear in their eyes that made me want to cry. I had always assumed that I wasn't mean to have any friends; I was weird, odd, a monster as someone had once called me.

I think I cling to them, hoping they will never find out and call me a monster too. Everyone else can leave me; I wouldn't care but not them. I can't lose them. They're precious.

So I can't tell them. I can't tell them that I'm a werewolf, that I have so much bloodlust when I'm in my wolf form that I cause damage to myself to see the blood splattered all over the walls and floor.

No, I can't tell them, and so I keep lying. But I think that my lies are getting worse. I think that Sirius is getting annoyed by them and that James won't always be there to tell him to shut-up.

I'm not sure if I can tell them. I don't think those words could ever come out of my mouth. To hear them, on my own lips and with my own voice would be too much reality for me. Too much. So I can't tell them.

I'll cherish them for as long as I can, but I won't ever tell them. It would be too scary.

The stairs up to my dorms are getting fewer and as I open the room to my dorm, I find them all sprawled out on the floor, Sirius is complaining about Slughorn. They notice that I'm in the room and James smiles, along with Peter.

Sirius grins, "Remus! Where've you been?"

"Library," I reply, putting the heavy book in my hands down on the bed and joining them.

We spend the afternoon like that, talking about quidditch and Lily. She always shows up in our conversations.

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Author's Notes: I'd love it if you could take a few moments to review. Thanks and hope you enjoyed the fic.