Once upon a time, in a zombie apocalypse fandom, there were people who couldn't get along. There was a group who shipped Rick and Michonne but they just couldn't agree on what was and was not appropriate because some shipped Andy (Rick) with his costar Danai (Michonne). The problem was, Andy is married…but not to Danai. So, one of the fans decided to call her BFF to discuss this terribly distressing outbreak of butthurt and illogic after it was revealed that despite Richonne going canon…some Walking Dead fans shipped Rick with Maggie Greene.
Mary-Sue: Oh, Berrie-Lou! There's a terrible problem in fandom. Some Richonne fans are getting super pissed off at Magick shippers!
Berrie-Lou: Say it ain't so, Mary-Sue! What's going on?
Mary-Sue: Well, it all started when someone said they shipped Rick with Maggie. This upset the Richonne fandom something terribly.
Berrie-Lou: Why?
Mary-Sue: Well, you see, Rick and Michonne are canon and not everybody likes it. If you don't like it, then it can mean only one thing…you're a racist!
Berrie-Lou: GASP! NOOOOOOOO! OMG…
Mary-Sue: Are you okay, Berrie-Lou?
Berrie-Lou: No! I'm a racist and I didn't even know it!
Mary-Sue: Da Fuq?
Berrie-Lou: I'm kidding. I ship Richonne but I also ship Magick. Dixonne…I'm one of those people who multi-ships.
Mary-Sue: Hmmmm…this is terribly problematic of you, Berrie. I'm shocked.
Berrie-Lou: Why? You think I need to reform from multi-shipping? Hahaha
Mary-Sue: *taking shit too seriously* *way too seriously* *so she doesn't laugh at all* I'll say. I mean…imagine shipping Rick with a married woman. How dare you! You suck! You stink! You're the worst person in the world!
Berrie-Lou: Wait a second…you ship Dandy, don't you?
Mary-Sue: Of course. Everybody knows that. You got a problem with it?
Berrie-Lou: Well…not really…it's just…you're calling me names for shipping Rick and Maggie because Maggie's married and Rick's dating Michonne but you don't have any problem with shipping Andy and Danai…
Mary-Sue: So? Ship and let ship, I say.
Berrie-Lou: Unless it's Rick and Maggie?
Mary-Sue: Precisely.
Berrie-Lou: But…Mary…Andy is a real person. He's got a real life wife. How is it okay to ship Dandy but something really awful bad horrible terrible wrong to ship a fictional character with a married woman.
Mary-Sue: *sigh* Because, you idiot! If you ship Rick with a married woman you're saying Michonne isn't important. Hello! She's black! You can't do that.
Berrie-Lou: …
Mary-Sue: Hello? You still there?
Berrie-Lou: Yeah, I'm here. I'm just… Michonne isn't real. Andy's wife Gael is. I mean, they've been married for years and she's the mother of his children. She's Andy's wife and she's a real person. Her feelings can be hurt but Michonne's can't…Plus…shipandletship?
Mary-Sue: *laughs* Oh, honey! Gael doesn't matter. Her place in Andy's life as his wife, partner, love, mother of his kids doesn't mean anything compared to Michonne's place in Rick's life.
Berrie-Lou: Why not?
Mary-Sue: Because she's white, dummy.
Berrie-Lou: What?
Mary-Sue: Boy, you've got a lot to learn. To ship Rick with Maggie is disrespectful to Michonne. To ship Andy with Danai doesn't mean shit.
Berrie-Lou: Because…Andy's wife is…white…
Mary-Sue: Exactly. All the shit white people have done to people of color? I mean…duh!
Berrie-Lou: But…Mary…you can't hold Gael personally responsible for every wrong white people have done to people of color just because she's white. That's about as fair as holding Danai responsible for any and every bad thing black people have done in the history of the world.
Mary-Sue: Not the same thing. White people are a majority. All through history we've shit all over every other race we've encountered, and we're still doing this shit. Before you can scream this is racism you can't. We invented racism and slavery.
Berrie-Lou: Mary, bigotry is wrong. Nobody gets a free pass for being a POC. Also? Discrimination based on race or religion has been around waaaay before white people came along. Yeah, we're guilty of it, but every major civilization has had racial biases. It's been going on as long as mankind has existed. So has slavery. Slavery wasn't a white invention-
Mary-Sue: Wow! You really are racist!
Berrie-Lou: I don't think I am. I just think it doesn't make sense to say it's a horrible thing to ship Rick and/or Michonne with other people because it's disrespectful to POC but it's okay to ship a real life married man with his co-worker just because that man's wife is white. That's some fucked up shit.
Mary-Sue: So, now you're going to deny that there are fans that dislike Richonne because Michonne is a black woman?
Berrie-Lou: No, not at all. There's plenty of people out there who hate Richonne/Michonne just because Michonne is black, but not all fans do that.
Mary-Sue: You're probably wearing an #AllLivesMatter #BlueLivesMatter t-shirt right now, aren't you?
Berrie-Lou: No. I'm pro-BlackLivesMatter but what I'm saying is you have to get to know someone and judge why they're not shipping Richonne before you just slap the Racist label on them. Like, there's people like I-love-the-cold who obviously are racist. It's plain to see that's why she doesn't like Richonne/Michonne. Then there's other people who just don't like the ship/character and race has nothing to do with it. You really shouldn't just scream racism first. That's unfair.
Mary-Sue: It's totally fair and I hate you now you racist. You're so fucking illogical and fucked up in the head. Go fart. Go jump off the couch. Go light your dog's house on fire. I hope your shoes never fit you again, you white cis scum! Dandy forever! Magick sucks! FUCK ALL WHITE PEOPLE FOR EVERYTHING WHITES HAVE EVER DONE IN HISTORY! THEY SHOULD ALL DIE! THEY'RE ALL USELESS SCUM!
Berrie-Lou: Um…I have to go…There's some Jehovah's Witnesses at the door.
Mary-Sue: You're gonna talk to the JWs?
Berrie-Lou: I'd talk to the devil himself if it meant getting away from you.
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