They Weren't Kidding [one-shot
Disclaimer: I do not own FF7, any of its characters, or anything, all I have is this computer sob
Summary: Whoever coined the phrase "Hell Hath no fury like a woman scorned" they weren't joking about were they. Another short fic from the maniac.
A/N: this is done from Clouds POV
It was a weird day for me, not one call for a delivery so Tifa decided this was to be my day off, she can be very… persuasive when it comes to these matters, its best not to argue. Anyway she was working the bar as per normal leaving me in charge of the kids.
Whose bright idea was it to adopt kids? Oh right, hers.
Marlene was being a pain, screeching at the top of her voice that she'd lost her favourite toy, I loose track of which one's her favourite now, was it Quackers or one of her other dolls? Anyway Denzel is slowly turning evil, I blame Yuffie for that. The last thing that I, no… the world needs is a mini-hyped up ninja who's task in life is to annoy me so much I may end up taking the Vincent Valentine route I.e. lock myself in a coffin for 30 years.
Sigh, I really need to talk to her, when have we had a decent, friendly conversation since the Sephiroth clone incident a year ago? Well there was that time… wait Barret broke that up, but what about? No…no, Yuffie saw the end of that one. Maybe now's my chance, the kids are as quiet as there ever going to be and she's cleaning the glasses. I casually stroll into the bar room when I notice someone, doing something extremely stupid.
He's reaching over the bar, glass in hand trying to get a free refill, now I've tried this before and it never works, or so Zack always told me, I could never remember. The problem is you have to be drunk to even think of trying the free drink trick but it requires dexterity, something no man has after 4 pints.
Now all seems to be going as planned, he's leaning on the bar, he's close to the tap when he looks up to see if anyone (apart from his drinking buddies) are looking when he sees Tifa. Miss Tifa Lockhart, normally she's knockout gorgeous but from the look on the guys face, he can see the best view.
She's bending down to get a new glass out of the cabinet, maybe even reaching down at the spirits to fill an order, she doesn't know she does it but the way her micro shorts ride up against her natural… asset it just makes her irresistible. The first time I saw the view was back in sector seven, before the bombing of the no.5 reactor. I had just bought her a new fire materia but she dropped it and went to pick it up, it's a good thing she didn't see me or the only possible way of us having a child would have been to adopt.
Anyway back to the drunkard, he's got the best view in the bar, its stopped him in his tracks, all that needs to happen is for Tifa to turn around and he'd be busted but what does he do? He reaches out with his hand towards her.
Oh shit, this is going to turn ugly really fast
Squeeze!
Tifa jumps up, at first she thinks its only me and blushes, she turns around slightly only to see me about 5 yards away in the doorway with an expression of pure terror in my face. At first she looks confused, then scared.
Wasn't it Yoda who said "Fear turns to anger, anger turns to hate, and hate leads to suffering"? it seems like an apropriate thing to say now. Tifa turns around slowly, I can feel her blood boiling at whoever did this, she sees him, he tries to scramble away but I wince as out come the gloves.
If that guy is still alive he's lucky to be, Tifa kicked him full force in the head, punched him in the stomach full force, utilising the punch that took down Sephiroth causing him to collapse and cough up blood, and that was just the start of it.
They say "Hell hath no fury like a women scorned." They weren't fucking kidding were they?