Author note: warning for all who read this. this was a random story that had jumped into my head. There will be oocness it is possibly done for comedic purposes. I will happily accept requests and ideas, no lemon and for a list of parings I'm not comfortable writing look at my profile. Flames not appreciated, if you have any helpful suggestions pm me or leave it in a review I will fix it to the best of my ability. I DO NOT OWN HETALIA!
Nation Insanity
The night was dark, the full moon shone. The flickering candles burned changing direction with the slightest breeze. The dim, old room filled with dust, Britain's nose crinkled holding back a sneeze as he pulled out an old spell book.
"This will show them not to doubt my powers!" he huffed under his breath while opening the book and flipping through pages. "Ah, here it is" he said while pointing at one of the spells. "Let's see here." He paused to read before taking a deep breath and started to say the incantation.
"" His hands gave off a strange orange glow before fading. "Huh, that's strange... it should have done something. Let me read that stupid title again!" he stared at the text "Shit! we're all fucked i"ve got to hurry and warn the others before . . ."
It was a bright and happy morning for Japan. He had gotten up from his restful sleep to prepare his breakfast. Then he heard it, a loud pounding on his door, reluctantly Japan opened his door to...
"WE HAVE TO GO ARU!" China yelled while trying to make a grab for Japan's hand.
"What's going on?"Japan said confused while backing away.
"NO TIME ARU!" China yelled while trying to grab onto Japan "According to my new boss we must become one to rule the world with the army of darkness!"
"What?" Japan said, completely terrified. He did what anyone would do, run like continually ran until he smacked into what felt like a wall with a scarf on it. It was Russia and boy did he look scarier than usual.
"Hello Japan. Are you here to become one first?" He said with an evil grin "all will become one!" Japan promptly screamed then ran to a place he hoped would contain sanity.
It was a rude awakening for Austria, normally he slept uninterrupted by the crazies, but today was the day luck had left him. A loud crashing sound alerted him; something was up. His bedroom door blasted open. Hungary stood there with a frightening aura while holding a camera and frying pan.
"MUST PAIR EVERYTHING!" She yelled, raising her pan. The words sent chills down Austria's spine; he got up and ran for it. He swerved around her, knocking over a vase, which blocked her path. He winced when the vase broke, but one must sacrifice for the greater good. He managed to get down the stairs before he stopped in his tracks. Prussia was raiding his kitchen.
"Damn it." Austria muttered, looking for an escape. Prussia turned around noticing that he was caught. He didn't have to say a word before Austria had made a beeline for the door. Austria continued running, to the closest possibly-safe place.
Lithuania, by far, doesn't have what one would call normal days, but today takes the cake on crazy. He was lying in his bed, doing nothing. A large slam of his door hitting the wall. Belarus entered, casting a scary aura of death.
"IF BIG BROTHER WANT YOU TO BE ONE I'LL GIVE HIM ONE! LET ME CUT OFF YOUR DAMN LEGS!" She yelled while holding up a large knife, eyes flashing menacingly. Lithuania desperately hurled himself out the window to get away from the crazy lady, thankfully he managed not to die. Lithuania got up giving a gasp of pain as he felt pain in his hip.
"Why today universe? Why me, why not someone else?" Lithuania said while wincing as he tried to run. .
"LITHY!" Lithuania winced at the voice he turned around. It was Poland in a skirt and holding up what suspiciously looked like a blue dress. "I like found this and you like, just have to try it on!" Poland said moving in closer. Lithuania turned back around, and ran painfully for the only place he could think of that might contain help.
The sun was up and it was a peaceful day for Switzerland, he was sipping a cup of tea. Liechtenstein was staying at Hungary's house leaving him alone. Then, a loud knocking and banging sound interrupted his peace. He had half a mind to just shoot first and ask questions later, but decided to go down and answer the door. Switzerland opened his door, looked at the scene before him, then slammed his door shut without a word.
"No! Let us in please!" Japan called out
"Let us in! You won't believe how crazy it is out here!" Lithuania said, banging on the door
desperately.
"No" Switzerland said firmly. "Not only will it affect my neutrality, If I let you guys in, whatever the hell is chasing you all will come here too!"
Austria sighed "You've made me do it, I know you've named one of your guns Lola and sleep with it at night! Everyone looked at Austria confused. "And, uh, Hungary told me."
Switzerland sighed, unlocked his door, and let them in.
"Switzerland." Austria said.
"Austria!" Switzerland glared.
"Switzerland?" Austria questioned.
"Austria!"Switzerland said louder
"Japan" Japan said looking confused.
A loud crashing sound made them look towards the living room. Switzerland pulled out his gun.
Austria looked in horror "Did you just pull that out of your..."
"I have my ways, now quiet." Switzerland motioned them to the side. He looked around the corner. To his horror there was France, wearing nothing but a rose and twirly mustache. Switzerland looked back towards the group, his left eye twitching. "I'm going to need some brain bleach and one of you to knock me in the head to forget that"
"Uh... Switzerland I don't think it works that way" Japan said.
An annoying laugh revealed that their presence was known.
"Ohonhonhonhonhonhon!" France grinned, looking super creepy. Everyone stared in pure horror. Another loud crash alerted them to another person in the house.
"Is that how everyone enters? Why can't someone use the damn door?" Switzerland said, very frustrated with all of this.
"It's a crack fic, what else do you expect?" Austria replied calmly.
"NOT SO FAST FRANCE!" Hungary screamed, climbing from the wreckage.
"Oh, so you have found out my evil plan have you?"France said, twirling his mustache.
"YES! AND I HERE TO STOP YOU!" She yelled pulling out her frying pan "I WILL SAVE
THE BUTTER KINGDOM!" She yelled, slamming the pan into France's face. France lay sprawled on the floor, out cold. A piece of paper flew out of his hand, Lithuania quickly reached out and grabbed it. Hungary advanced forward. Switzerland, realizing he still had his gun, was about to take aim.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, she's had worse injuries and killed a man for less" Austria
said while backing away.
"I've got you all right where I want you" Hungry said, grinning devilishly and coming in
closer.
'This is our only hope' Japan though quickly. He grabbed Switzerland.
"Sorry about this." Japan said while moving closer.
"Sorry about wha- mmmpphh!" Switzerland was cut off as Japan kissed him.
Hungary, upon seeing such a sight had gotten a massive nosebleed and fainted, leaving the path to escape clear. Switzerland and Japan pulled apart, red as tomatos.
"Uh . . ." Austria tried to close his mouth.
"RUN!" Switzerland yelled. They all snapped out of the awkwardness before running out
and as far away as possible from that house.
Meanwhile, In AMERICA...
America was sitting upon the couch eating a hamburger while watching Spongebob.
End of chapter 1