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Buttons

"So I'm standing there as she falls backwards and I make to catch her" I looked around at the rapt faces of my audience before continuing "but I only managed to grab a handful of her hair. So she hits the concrete and I realise I'm holding her wig in one hand and her baseball cap in the other!"

The people around me broke into riotous laughter as I finished my tale. It'd happened whilst questioning a hooker in connection with the case I was working on. A rape murder in midtown. I'm not known for my sense of humour, so I was pleased with the response from the new cops in the unit.

The noise died down quickly as the staccato clicking of expensive heels echoed down the hall from the elevators. Rollins muttered a quiet "Heads up, Liv." Suddenly, detectives scattered in every direction leaving me swinging in my chair.

With a final glare at the traitors around me, I turned towards the squad room entrance just as the tall, blonde haired figure of our ADA, Alex Cabot, filled the doorway. She made her way towards my desk and I could tell she was upset. Anger making her, usually, graceful movements stiff and jerky.

I'd expected a visit since that morning, after the attorney had stormed out of Cragen's office. Over the years our disagreements had become legendary. Both of us being passionate, stubborn and not to mention hotheaded. But since Alex's return from Africa a few months earlier, we had both mellowed out some.

But that morning, the blonde woman had pushed every one of my buttons. Leading me to question her dedication, intelligence and even her parentage. Loudly.

Alex arrived at my desk, towering over my seated form.

"Hey Alex. Have something for us?" Munch piped up before she could say a word. The blonde merely turned her head, glaring at him over her glasses before turning back to me.

"We need to talk." I stood to follow as she turned away, risking a surreptitious glance at my colleagues. Both Amaro and Rollins were staring at me in shock. When they first started at SVU, I was surly and unwelcoming. I had since become more approachable but this was the first time they had seen anyone order me around so easily.

Munch and Fin, however, both had identical knowing smirks adorning their faces.

I couldn't ignore the feeling dread in the pit of my stomach as I followed the woman's retreating back. I found myself watching the sway of her hips and her perfectly toned calves. I'd always harboured more than friendly feelings for the beautiful, untouchable attorney. Feelings that confused me. Feelings that usually fuelled our most rambunctious fights.

Alex opened the door of the interrogation room, motioning me to proceed first. I waited as she closed it gently and turned to stare at me dispassionately, Ice Princess mask firmly in place. After a few, uncomfortable, moments she started to speak.

"I've spent the entire day making excuses for the way you spoke to me this morning. First, I told myself it was residual anger or hurt, possibly both, from Elliot's departure. Then I reasoned it was stress from the recent case."

"Alex..." she cut me off

"No let me finish. I came up with what seemed like hundreds of reasons before I realised..." she took a deep breath and finally broke the intense eye contact "I realised it was my fault. I had pushed you to the limit and beyond." she lifted her head to look at me again "and you deserve to know why."

She walked past me to sit on the edge of the table in the middle of the room. She looked nervous and completely at odds with the confident woman I was used to dealing with.

"I had a plan. When we first met, I had my life all planned out. SVU was a stepping stone to greater things. DA, Governor, possibly the President." she sighed "I had no patience for things that stood in the way of that plan. Unfortunately, you were one of those things. You bent the rules, ignored procedures. Made my life much more difficult. So I fought you over every little detail."

"Then slowly I started to see the difference I...we...were making. I started to notice the passion you had for the victims, for getting them justice. It radiated from you. I became addicted to it, fed off it and didn't know why. It pissed me off because I couldn't understand it, which only made me fight with you more."

She stood and slowly wandered around the room, I could see the sadness in the set of her shoulders, hear the pain in her voice as she turned to look at me again "then Velez and witness protection changed everything. Well everything accept you. Even after all those years that passion, that fire, still coloured your every move."

I continued to watch, entranced by her voice, as she started in my direction.

"I tried to ignore it, pretend it didn't exist. After a while I came to realise I needed to feel that power but something had shifted. I also wanted your presence, your friendship. I used them to give me strength and comfort."

"I came to value them highly. It was because of them I felt strong enough to go to Africa." She stopped, hesitantly standing a few feet away before taking a tiny step forward.

"I came back a second time to find turmoil. I looked at you and could see you had lost something. A spark was missing. I couldn't stand to see you so defeated." She was standing almost toe to toe with me now.

"I wanted to offer you my help but didn't know how. Didn't know what to say. Then this morning, I intentionally baited you. I told myself I hadn't, but deep down, I knew I had. It was selfish and wrong and I want to apologise for causing you any hurt. But I don't apologise for why I did it. I need your fire, your friendship, you."

I knew my eyes must have been shining with confusion because her next sentence was laced with frustration. "Basically, I'm trying to say I love you, Liv. I always have." With our close proximity, I could see earlier I had confused anger with something else. Something more frightening. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine threading her slender hands through my hair.

Finally my dazed brain caught up and I returned the kiss with vigour. It was exactly as I'd always imagined. The smell of her perfume, the feel of her lips. I was close to being sent into sensory overload. Alex moaned quietly, the sound causing the control I had over my desire to slip slightly. I spun us round using the door to prop us up. Although Alex was an inch or so taller, her build was much more slight than my own so I was mindful as I used my weight to pin her to the wood. I slid my hands to her hips, holding on for dear life as we battled for control.

After what felt like an eternity, I felt her slowly pull away with a final, gentle peck at my lips. She smiled at me shyly, whilst toying with the hem of my sweater "So...can you forgive me?"

"After that performance, how could I not?" I answered with a smile as I watched some of her usual confidence and cockiness return "what happens now?"

"Well detective, first you buy me dinner. Then we'll see." Placing a hand in the centre of my chest, she pushed me gently backwards then disappeared through the door.

Fear lanced through me again. It was an exciting kind of fear. One I welcomed. Suddenly a blonde head poked back into the room "Coming?" she asked with one final, mischievous smile.

Damn she really did know how to push all my buttons.