Title: Fragile
Pairing: KakaIru
Summary: Iruka breaks after a mission
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto which is quite obvious.
Dedicated to and written for: Demona - commission/art trade
The room was dark except for the lamp on the small table beside the slowly aging couch that Kakashi was currently draped unceremoniously across. Barefoot, maskless, and dressed in the plain, dark-blue, shinobi uniform with his headband wrapped loosely over his left eye he almost looked relaxed. He had a book in his hand but he rarely turned the pages and his gaze kept drifting from it to the door. It wasn't until hours later as the room started to glow with the quiet, early morning light that the silent watch was broken. Footfalls outside in the hall had Kakashi's attention in an instant and the book was set aside at the same time that the door opened.
Iruka closed the door and leaned against it, chest heaving, fingers curled into fist, and eyes shut impossibly tight. No tears fell but they clung to the dark brown lashes, his face scrunched up and he chewed his lower lip, the silent, shaking sobs causing his entire body to shudder.
Kakashi got up and walked over then reached out and laid a hand on Iruka's shoulder, gently.
The brown eyes opened but whatever they were seeing it wasn't Kakashi. His entire body shuddered and tears slid out of the corners of his eyes. Then he turned and pulled away. Iruka picked a picture up off of the shelf, one of him and one of his academy classes. Every muscle in his body froze as he stared at it then a half second later he swept his hands across the shelves, knocking the books, papers, and nicknacks from them. Several of them flew a good distance before crashing to the floor.
Grabbing Iruka, Kakashi hauled him backwards, away from the shelf and all the precious things his students had given him over the years. He knew as much as Iruka was hurting right now? it would hurt him more to see those treasures broken.
Iruka fought against the motion for a moment then stopped and let Kakashi hold him. "I couldn't... If he'd just... if I hadn't... Why? Why didn't he listen? Why didn't I see it in time?" He pushed Kakashi away, yanked his head band off and threw it across the room. It banged hard against the wall, cutting into it and leaving a visible dent behind. "Why did it have to be him?" Iruka collapsed and hit his knees, the the tears pouring down his cheeks. There was a long pause where Iruka stared vacantly down at his hands and the space between. Then finally, he let out a very broken, barely audible sob. "It should have been me..."
Kakashi knelt down, carefully unzipped the jacket then pushed it off Iruka's shoulders and pulled him into his arms. His lover needed to be held without the vest, the weight of the mission, on his shoulders. He didn't promise that it would be okay. It would be stupid to promise such things to a man who cared so deeply that every comrade, every student, every one was etched into his heart. Brushing his fingers through the brown hair that was falling out of the ponytail, Kakashi let him cry for a while then slid a hand under Iruka's chin and forced him to look up. He kissed him even as the tears continued to fall. "I hope it's never you," he whispered, pressing another kiss to lover's lips. The words only seemed to bring more tears so he pulled Iruka against himself again and just held him. Everyone fell apart sometimes and everyone needed to be reminded why they should get back up. This time it was Iruka's turn.