Chapter 1.
Please, please, please R&R!
House M.D. and its characters do not belong to me at alllll! This is merely a fictional story, for fun! Enjoy(:
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Dr. Cuddy bends over her desk, squinting at Dr. Steeler's writing. It's scratchy and tiny, typical doctor chicken scratch. Of course, she thinks, looking up and noticing the doctor bearing a cane who was headed towards her office, at least he turns in some kind of paperwork at all.

With a bang, he enters the room. "Cuddy. I need a favor." He stops in his tracks, eyeing her with surprise. "You're wearing a turtle-neck."

"So?"

"I was just disappointed. Anyway, I need a favor."

"Anything for you, House," she says sarcastically.

He raises his eyebrows. "Don't get so excited, I wasn't about to ask for a blowjob," he jeers.

"What do you need?"

"I need to remove my patience genitals and replace them with a cow's."

Sighing, Cuddy murmurs, "What do you really want?"

"I need to cut off my patient's head."

"Hm," Cuddy pretends to consider this proposition. "Well, the head is a little important to survival… but sure, hack away." When he says nothing, she says: "No."

"I just need to severe the spinal chord. We'll put it back together, I pinky promise." He holds out a pinky in mock appreciation of his own joke.

"And how do you think you're going to do that?" she asks boredly.

"Dunno, haven't figured that out yet."

"Well, that's sort of important."

"Maybe."

"No, House."

"Ohh," he groans, "that's not what you wanted to say. It rhymes with no, starts with a 'g' though. Go, House, go! C'mon, it's a simple procedure. Textbook."

"No, House."

He sighs and turns on heel, departing from the room. Cuddy shouts as he leaves, "Remember you have 4 hours of clinic tonight!"

*********

House wanders into the clinic around 5 o'clock to flirt with an incredibly top-heavy nurse who's just started working and seems to think he's the most brilliant man alive. Unfortunately for him, Cuddy arrives at almost exactly the same time, looking as if she's about to leave for the day.

"Whoa, where are you going?" He asks.

She sighs, "Jamaica."

"You never leave early."

"I'm coming back."

"Where are you going that's so important?"

"None of your business." House stares her down, and then he notices it. An expensive looking necklace that she surely was not wearing before, bearing three good-sized diamonds.

"Who gave you that?" Not expecting an answer, he continues with the answer: "A guy gave it to you. You're going on a date. But why haven't you been wearing it all day? Do you not really like him? You're just going out with him cause he's rich, aren't you?"

"Goodbye, House. I expect you'll still be here when I get back."

House watches her leave. Actually, he watches her butt as she leaves. Damn boyfriend, he thinks.

He turns around to find Carrie, the new nurse, beaming at him. "I've got a patient for you, Dr. House!" She seems to think that this would excite him greatly, as she waves it in his face.

"Wonderful," he growls, snatching it away from her and entering exam room one. A young teenage girl is sitting on the chair, her round stomach telling House that she's pregnant.

"Hi, I'm Dr. House. How old are you?"

"I'm fifteen. I've got some questions. I think something's seriously wrong with my little baby."

"Oh really. Please, do tell."

"Well, the other day…" he voice goes down a little bit. "I felt this… nudge." For dramatic effect, House raises an eyebrow. "And I've been having a lot of cravings for cake and stuff lately."

"Wait… you're telling me you're having cravings?" He pulls out a notepad and writes down very doctorly, important stuff. "Tell me more, please!"

"I also threw up the other day. I just felt nauseous all the sudden."

"Oh, my."

"Is that bad!?"

"I'm not sure. What color was your puke?"

"Sort of yellowy…"

"Oh, my."

"What!?"

"Nothing. Go home, read a book on pregnancy. Oh, and these are for your baby." He writes a fake prescription. "Right now he has sixteen fingers. This should help."

Her eyes widen. "Oh my God. Thank you so much Dr. House!"

"It's no problem. Helping people is my passion." He winks.

*********

Cuddy slips in the back door, hoping to avoid a confrontation with House. She succeeds in getting in, he's busy when she flickers on the light in her office.

She slips off her high heels at the door and pads over to her desk. Sliding into her chair, she puts her head into her hands. The date did not go well. Phil was always the demanding, angry type… but tonight he went to far, pushing her into his car and basically beating her into submission that she was unwilling to give.

Luckily, she'd stumbled away from his car without too much damage—very embarrassed and with a few scratches on her chest and face. A particularly long scratch on her face from a ring on her hand stung like hell, but she was more damaged internally than on the external. He'd ripped the ugly necklace off her neck and called her a bitch. She was sure House would notice her lack of jewelry and the scratches when he came in, and tonight she did not want to face that.

She feels the deep scratch on her face and a tear of shock rolls down her face. She ran away from the scene as quickly as possible, focusing only on getting away. Now it was washing over her, what had happened. Another ass of a man had taken advantage of her—how many broken relationships was she going to have to endure before she found a good guy?

She sighs, and all the sudden a hand is on her back. She jumps practically off of her seat and looks up. Gregory House is standing over her, a puzzled look on his face.

"Did he say no to having your baby?"

Trying to cover her tears, she looks away. "House, get the hell outta my office."

His hand left her back, but she could still feel him next to her, hear his breathing, practically hear him debating what to do next.

"House…"

He took her chin and lifted her head up, exposing her runny make-up and tears. "Don't," she murmurs. "I look like shit."

"No," he purrs. "You look beautiful." With the back of his hand, he wipes a tear from her cheek.

An invisible force pulls Cuddy to her feet. House's crystal eyes are pulling her up, pulling her towards him. With a shaky sob, she lets him hold her shoulders steady with one hand and caress her face with another. "You're late. Everyone else left."

She breaks away from his gaze and looks outside her office. It's dark. He's right; the place is deserted. It's just the two of them.

With a spellbinding gaze, House draws her into him. He pulls her head towards his, and they kiss. It's like a sheet of ice breaking in half, or a screen door shattering, or about a thousand fireworks firing off at the same time. It's a magnificent kiss. With one hand, he continued to pull her into him, and he wrapped the other firmly around her waist and pulled her body as close as he could manage. Cuddy's eyes watered again at the thought of how this could turn out, but she wasn't near as unhappy as she had been about a minute ago.