If you love someone, tell them because hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.
-Anonymous
If Len could go back in time...what would he have done?
What kind of choices would he have taken? What kind of future would he have? If only he had just said something...
Just where did it all go wrong?
Len stared up at the dark cloudy sky with a somber expression. He tightly gripped the umbrella in his hand as the sky began to cry. He wasn't surprise...today was a very sad day for him, after all.
He walked down the wet empty pavement in complete silence. There was no one in the streets, not even cars have passed by as if there was no one left in the world, as if he was the last being left...and that was how he felt deep in his heart.
He stopped in front of the church and stared at it for a while. People quickly rushed into the church to take refuge from the rain, some complained about it, others just frowned and entered the church, grumbling.
Len simply stood in the rain and stared at the puddle beneath his feet. He stared at his reflection and noticed the grim expression on his face. He frowned at himself before he looked up and once again stared at the church.
He almost didn't want to go in but he had to...because it was a important day for his best friend, Rin.
Suddenly he began to remember his childhood with her. How they met and became friends, how they grew up and how they graduated, how they went on with their lives. It was like a movie was playing in front of him...it was both wonderful...and terrible sad.
He closed his eyes as the memories began to flash in his mind.
-0-0-0-0-
For as long as Len could remember, him and Rin were always together since they were young.
Their parents were close friends to each other which was how they knew each other since their childhood. Len viewed Rin like a sister at the time and spent every moment with her. There wasn't a single memory Len had that didn't involve Rin in it. She was always there for him, through thick and thin.
The two of them stuck together like glue from childhood to their high school days. Len just felt that it was natural for him to be around him. It just felt right.
Most of the time, people would often wonder and question whether or not they were romantically involved which they would always deny it. After all, they were like family to each other and Len thought nothing would ever change that...
But somehow, things just changed one day...
The sun was slowly setting as the school soon came to an end. The atmosphere seemed calm and peaceful as students poured out of the building to go home or spend time with their friends.
Rin thought it was the perfect opportunity for a confession...and that was what Rin was planning to do. To confess her feelings to a senpai of their.
Of course, Len supported her all the way...that was until they saw him at the gate of the school, kissing another girl and the two of them immediately knew the answer to Rin's confession.
Len soon found Rin curled up in the corner of an empty classroom, crying her eyes out. Len didn't say a word and just sat down beside her, wrapping an arm around her comfortingly. Rin snuggled into his chest as she sobbed softly. Len had no idea what to say at a situation like this, especially at the fact that she was rejected before she even got the chance to confess. Instead, he just did the one thinghe could think of on the spot.
Len gently peeled Rin off his chest and stared into her tear filled eyes, which brought a sharp pain into his chest since he had never seen Rin so heartbroken before. Len smiled weakly at her. "Rin..." He started softly. "Why is 6 afraid of 7?"
Rin stared at him for a moment before the corners of her lips began to twitch slight as Len continued. "Cause 7 8 9." It was a horrible and very unoriginal joke but at the very least, it was still able to bring a smile on her face. Rin finally let out a giggle and Len smiled, satisfied that he was able to make her smile again.
"That was a really corny joke." Rin snorted while Len playfully shrugged. "Well, I was still able to make you though, right?" He said.
"Yeah." Rin agreed and she grinned widely. "Thanks Len."
For a moment, Len felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of her smile. Her eyes were still glassy and watery due to her tears and her unshed tears glittered from the light but her smile was so beautiful and bright that the sunset seemed to dull in comparison.
Len suddenly had the urge to reach out to her and squeeze her into a tight embrace but he resisted, instead he gently pulled her head to rest onto his shoulder. Rin leaned against him and sighed contently as Len rested his head on hers. The two sat quietly on the floor, enjoying each other's company as time flew by. They went their separate ways as the sky darkened and said their goodbye as they went home.
As Len walked down the street, he placed a hand on his chest as he wondered why his heart won't stop racing.
Since then, Len began noticing things about Rin.
The little things Rin does seemed more noticeable than before and the things Len never noticed seemed to stand out the more he thought of it.
There were sides of Rin that Len never seemed to have taken note before. A part of him was surprise that there were things he had never known since he had been together with her since...forever but in the same time...he thought it was cute.
Although, this worried him. Being Rin's best friend, he knew more about her than anyone else, things no one knows about but him. It was something he took great pride of which is another reason why he can be a bit...possessive.
What if someone begins to notice his best friend? What if they suddenly took her away to some distant land and never comes back ever again? All sorts of ideas (most of them were unrealistic) popped into his head. Most people would probably consider how he felt as childish possessiveness but he couldn't really help it. He had been with her for as long as he can remember but Len kept his cool for now.
Right now, all he can do was be there for Rin, being the best friend he is. They were inseparable from each other and nothing would change that...at least that was what Len thought.
Lately, he had been terrible confused. Whenever he was around Rin, his heart would oddly speed up and he would strangely feel nervous around her which has never happened before. His stomach would often flutter uncontrollably at the very sight of her and his face would heat up slight. It confused Len since he had no idea what was happening to him.
But then one day...he soon came to understand this strange feeling.
It was Valentines Day and everyone in school was busy.
The sight of girls handing chocolates wrapped in pretty paper to boys were common around the school and in every corner, there would be at least someone confessing to another.
But the one thing everyone in school was looking forward to the most was the Annual Valentines Day Dance.
Len didn't really like Valentines Day. At this day, Len would often receive mountains and mountains of chocolates and confession letters from different girls but Len would always reject them politely.
The only ones he actually accepted were obligation chocolates from friends who most of them, were already in a relationship or had someone else they liked and most of all...from Rin as well.
Len also didn't like the Valentines Dance. There wasn't anything interesting and it seemed tiring. The only reason he'd always attend the dance was because Rin wanted to go, though they would mostly come with different partners.
This year, Len was sure that he wasn't going to attend this year's Valentines Day Dance...but that was until Rin came into their classroom that morning with a look of frustration on her face.
She slowly walked over to her desk that was right next to Len's and plopped down, rubbing her face and let out a frustrated sigh.
Len lifted his head from the book he was reading and raised a brow. "What's wrong?" He asked. Rin turned to him and frowned. "My partner for the dance just called and said he can't go because he was sick! Now I have no one to go with!" Rin groaned, sinking down into her seat.
Len frowned, closing his book and looked up at the ceiling in deep thought. He then looked back at her. "Then I'll be your partner for tonight instead." He declared. Rin paused and gazed back at him in surprise. "Really?" She questioned in disbelief. Len smiled. "Yeah, I don't mind being your partner for the dance...unless, you don't want me to." He teased.
"No, No! Its not that!" Rin quickly exclaimed. "Its just that...don't you already have someone to go to the dance with?" She said and Len shook his head. "No, unfortunately, no one has asked me out to the dance yet."
It was a lie. Countless girls have already asked him to be their partner but since he originally planned not to go, he would gently decline them repeatedly. Besides that, he wasn't really interested to ask someone to be his partner anyways.
Rin soon grinned widely, leaping to her feet and wrapped her arms around Len which caused his heart to skip a beat. "Thank you so much Len! You're the best!" She exclaimed happily.
Len froze for a moment before he slowly but reluctantly hugged her back, his heart raced madly to the point he thought he was at the brick of having a heart attack. Her figure was so slim and she was so soft...
Len's face flushed and buried his face into her hair to hide his reddening face as he softly muttered. "No problem..."
The night of the Valentines Dance was quieter than he thought.
The gym was decorated with pink and red decor and the lights were slightly dimmed for the mood. The buffet was set at the side of the room where delicious food was laid out onto the long table. The main theme in music was slow songs and couples would dance to the soft music.
Len wasn't really fond of dancing, though he would admit that he was somewhat a decent dancer to say the least. Len's heart leaped out of his chest when Rin suddenly took his hand and tugged him to the dance floor.
Len had never been so shy around Rin before but today, he felt incredibly nervous as he awkwardly placed his hand on her thin waist and took her hand before they slowly began to sway to the music.
Rin smiled gently and Len smiled back while praying to himself that his face wasn't as red as a tomato at that moment. Rin's orange dress fluttered as Len span her around and she giggled while teasing him for being such a great dancer, which made him laugh awkwardly.
Soon after, Len began to rela a bit, though his heart continued to pound noisily in his ears to the point that he was worried Rin might be able to hear it. Len felt butterflies flutter wildly in his stomach when Rin laid her head against his shoulder and sighed contentedly.
That night, Len was sure that it was one of the best nights in his entire life.
As the night slowly came to an end, Len quietly escorted Rin home and Rin smiled as they reached her front door. "Thanks for the night, Len." She said. "I had a lot of fun."
Len smiled as well. "Yeah, I had fun too." He replied. He honestly did have fun, much more than he expected. It has been a while since he last enjoyed himself in a certain occasion. Then again, with Rin, every occasion seems fun.
Rin grinned. "I never knew you were a great dancer." She teased half-heartedly and Len chuckled. "Of course I'm a good dancer...unlike a certain someone who keeps stepping on my shoes." He snickered and Rin blushed at that. "Hey! I was learning okay!"
With that said, the two of them laughed. Rin slowly stopped laughing and began giggling before she looked up at Len and smiled. "Well then, Good night Len." She said and Len nodded. "Yeah, Night."
Rin turned around towards the front door but she paused in front of it. Len looked at her in confusion as Rin remained motionless. "You really are a great friend..." She muttered and turned back to him before she did something Len never expected.
She took a step towards him and tip toed as she kissed him gently on the cheek. Len froze like a statue and his eyes widened as he felt a soft, feature like pressure on his cheek. Rin soon pulled away and smiled. "Thank you, Len."
At that moment, Len slowly came to realize what this feeling was as his heart raced double time...
"Rin..." He began. He wanted to tell her right at that moment. He wanted to let her know how he felt but when Rin turned to him and stared into his eyes...He suddenly lost all his courage...and he didn't know why.
Len smiled warily. "I'll see you tomorrow." He muttered. Rin blinked and then smiled back. "Yeah, see you Len." With that, she opened the door and entered her house before closing the door.
Len stood there for a moment and sighed before he turned and left to go home as well. What was he thinking? Now was not the right time but even so...
He let out another sigh as he glanced up the starry sky. That was it. There was no other what to explain what he felt...
He had fallen deeply in love with his best friend.
Despite coming to terms with his feelings, Len decided not to tell Rin just yet.
Just because he realized he was in love with his best friend, does not mean Rin felt the same way. To her, he was just a friend. Nothing more and nothing less.
That was the truth and Len accepted that. He didn't want to ruin their friendship all because of his silly feelings...After all, he valued their friendship a lot. And so Len continued playing his role as Rin's best friend. Although there were times he admits to himself that he wished he could be more to her...it was the best he could do to stay by her side.
And so it was finally their Graduation Day. It has been pretty exhausting for Len since countless girls kept clinging to him because he was graduating. Well, he was graduating anyways so he just left them be as they sobbed at the fact, they won't be able to see their idol anymore.
As the graduation ceremony ended, he looked around the grand hall as families began joining together, congratulating one another at the fact that they finally finished high school.
Len looked around, hoping to find a certain blond haired girl with a ridiculously large ribbon until a weight suddenly fell onto his back, almost causing him to fall forward. He glanced over his shoulder to see Rin grinning widely, her rolled up diploma in her hands as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"We did it Len! We've finally graduated!" She cheered and Len smiled. "Yeah, we finally did." Rin leaped off of Len and smiled.
"I can't believe its finally done! How time flies." She laughed while Len chuckled. "Yeah, to be honest, I thought you'd repeat a grade while we graduate."
"Hey! What the heck do you mean?" She huffed and crossed her arms. "That was very rude, Len Kagamine." Len simply laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He chuckled while Rin pouted but then smiled and laughed along with him.
It was time like these Len felt the happiest. Just the two of them, laughing and talking without a care in the world. He missed those times before very went downhill.
Len then fell silent before he looked up at Rin. "Hey, Rin." He began. "Can...can you meet with me later at the courtyard? There's something I want to tell you..."
Rin blinked at Len and smiled. "Sure! I'll meet you there later."
With that said, Rin waved to Len and ran off to congratulate their other schoolmates. Len smiled wavered slightly as she left and he left out a deep breath. He placed a hand on his chest as his heart raced once more at how close Rin got to him. He slowly inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm his heart down.
"U-Umm, Kagamine-senpai!" A voice squeaked behind him. Len turned around to see a girl, who appears to be an underclassman, nervously standing behind him. Her face was red and she was fidgeting her fingers together. "C-Congratulations on graduating!" She exclaimed.
Len smiled politely at her. "Thank you." He replied. The girl's face reddened even more before she nervously began stumbling over her words. "Um, uh, umm..." She gulped. "C-Can I ask you something?!" She began, and Len blinked in confusion.
"C-C-Can I have one of your buttons Senpai!" She said loudly. Len didn't react to this and continued to smile. "Oh sure." He said. This was the 16th time a girl had asked for one of his buttons from his uniform so it wasn't really surprising. He reached for one of his buttons, near the helm when the girl suddenly said. "If you don't mind...can I have your second button?"
Len paused and frowned slightly. "I'm sorry but that's for someone else." He responded and the girl deflated in disappointment. Len smiled apologetically. "I could give you another though." He then reached out and pluck the third button of his uniform and offer it to her.
The girl happily took it and bowed before running back to her friends. Len then sighed and lightly fingered the second button of his uniform. Of course, the second button was special. He was going to use it to confess to Rin.
He was finally going to have the courage to confess to her. It was now or never. This time, he wasn't going to wait any longer.
So time past and the sun was already setting. The school was already empty at the time. Len stood near the front gate, staring up at the school. It was going to the last time he was going to be in the school, it was kinda sad.
Len shook his head and started walking into the school to go to the courtyard Len once again touched his second button, the very last one on his uniform. This was it. No turning back now.
He quickly went to the courtyard where he saw Rin standing near a tree, looking somewhere behind the tree. Len's heart began pounding loudly in his ears as he briskly walked towards her. This was it.
He took a deep breath as he got closer. He was going to tell her how much he loves her-
But then he froze when he realized she was talking to someone, a boy with teal hair, from behind the tree, and Len's eyes widened when he saw the way Rin laughed and smiled as they talked, unaware of his presence.
He looked down at the ground, his hair covering his eyes before he turned on his heels and quietly left.
Len ended up sitting at the hill, near the edge of the town's river. He stared at the waters as they glittered beautifully under the sunlight. It was so beautiful that it was dazzling...
Len then plucked the button from his uniform and stared at it. He then stood up, gripping the button tightly in his fist before he threw the button as hard as he could into the waters. He soon sat back down and sighed as he remembered her smile, a smile she gave to that boy, a smile he had never seen before ...
At that moment, when he saw that beautiful smile of her that wasn't aimed for him...
He realized that he was already too late...
Len continued his role as Rin's best friend. For awhile he thought it would be okay to be by her side as her friend but...sometimes, it hurts to know that Rin will only ever see him as her friend.
Despite that, he continued to smile and laugh with her...until one day...
"Eh?! You're leaving town?" Rin exclaimed in shock as Len nodded. "Yeah, A friend of mine said there was a great job outside of town and I have to move out." He responded.
Currently, they were at Len's house where they were planning to hang out and just sat at the dining table, having tea...until Len brought up the news.
"B-But you don't have to go. You can have a job here!" Rin suggested with an edge of distress. Len sighed. "Rin, you know already that the jobs here can't provide enough money for me." He said as he took a sip of his tea. "The job my friend offered in the city has a really good salary and the job seems good enough for me so I think its best for me to go"
Rin stared at Len then down at her cup. "I...I see..." She mumbled. There was a slight pause before she looked back at Len. "So when will you be back then?" She questioned. Len didn't respond which worried Rin. "You...are coming back...right?"
Len continued to remain silent. "Rin..." He began. "I don't think I'll be coming back..."
"...Eh?" Rin said in shock. Len continued. "My friend actually found a nice apartment for me there and I can't leave my job since its full time so...I won't be able to come back at all..."
"But you promise...you'd stay." Rin muttered, gripping her teacup in her hands. "This is your hometown and...you said you'd stay here to support me for as long as you can..."
Len smiled ever so slight. "But I have, Rin." He replied. "I did say I would stay here for you as long as I can but now I need to do what I can for myself too. Don't worry, I could call or write to you once in awh-"
Bam!
Rin slammed her hands onto the table and stood up suddenly, causing the chair to shriek as she yelled. "But I don't want you to go!". Len was unfazed and looked up at her in silence. They didn't say a word to each other until Len muttered. "I know how you feel Rin...honestly I don't want to leave too."
"Then-!"
"But I have to...Both of my parents are gone now and need to support myself so even if you tell me to stay, I won't." He stared directly into Rin's eyes and narrowed his eyes at her. "As a friend, you should understand that so don't you dare question it."
Rin looked at Len with hurt in her eyes, which twisted Len's heart at the sight. Rin bit her lip and curled her hands to fists, tightly gripping them into her knuckles were white. "Fine." She forced out before she grabbed her things and left. Len made no action to stop her as he heard the front door slam shut.
Len leaned back against his chair and sighed. He knew this was going to happen. He didn't want to hurt her but he had no choice. The reason he was leaving was partially that. He really did needed to leave to work but there was another reason.
In fact, he half-lied to her.
He lied that he won't come back to the town...He just couldn't bring himself tell her honestly...and he didn't know why. He let out another sigh, running a hand through his hair.
What has he done?
Three days later, Len finally moved out of town. Most of his friends arrived at the bus stop to see him off and say their goodbyes which he was very grateful for...Rin unfortunately never came...
It was to be expected. He knew Rin wouldn't come in the first place...And so he quietly left the town with disheartened heart .
The years soon passed and things changed.
Len fairly enjoyed his work and the apartment was nice and didn't cost as much. He would once in while missed his hometown and sometimes he would wonder what his friends were doing...Rin especially...
Lately his mind would wonder off to Rin. What could she be doing right now? What is she thinking? Was she happy right now?
All sorts of questions keep piling up in his head but...he never had the courage to call or write to her despite promising her that he would.
How many years has it been since he left his town? Three? Four? Five? He lost count since he was too busy trying to work out his life. There were a lot of things he missed after he moved out.
He missed those times when he would be out with his friends and having fun like there was no tomorrow, he missed those quiet nights when he could sleep with ease instead of listening to cars rushing by and the annoying city noise. He missed his friends and his hometown. What's more...He missed Rin.
And so time passed...And Len decided to move back to his hometown.
A nostalgic feeling around him as he walked through the familiar shops and houses. He moved into a small condo and met up with old friends. Of course, he was happy to see them but...Rin was no where to be seen.
He had asked his friends about her but they said that she was out of town for now and won't be back until next week. Len was disappointed and relieved. He didn't want to see her at the moment, he doesn't even know what to say to her once he sees her again after so long but in the same time he was a bit disappointed at not being welcome back by his best friend.
For a while, Len pondered on when Rin will be back. What to say to her. What to do after so long. The last time they saw each other, they were in an argument...of course, it would be difficult to see each other after that.
Len wondered about that until he accidentally met her again.
-0-0-0-
It was a quiet night and Len decided to have a drink at a bar nearby.
The bar was unusually empty and silent but Len was more comfortable to this. He leaned forward against the counter as he took a sip at his drink. It has been a week since he moved back and still no Rin to be seen. He silently let out a sigh as he planted his elbow onto the counter and cupped his cheek. Boredom lightly shone in his eyes.
"Is this seat taken?" A voice asked beside him. Len glanced up to respond but then he stopped and his eyes widened when he saw it was... "Rin." He muttered in shock.
Rin grinned lightly at him. "Long time no see, Len." She said as she slid next to him. After that, they began talking about anything under the sun. At first, Len felt a bit awkward but slowly he began to relax and laughed. It reminded him of the past. When it was just the two of them, laughing and smiling like this.
He really did missed it...
He peeked at her from the corner of his eye. She seemed so different than the last time he saw her. She seemed more...feminine. She looked a bit more mature and she was slimmer. The only thing that hasn't changed was that ridiculously large white ribbon that bounced on her head every time she moved her head. He smiled at that.
"Hey, what are you smiling about?" Rin questioned. Len just smiled and shrugged. "Its nothing." He replied.
Rin raised a brow. "Really? Are you sure you're not thinking about something perverted? I mean it is you after all." She said.
"Hey, what's that suppose to mean?" Len deadpanned and Rin laughed.
Len smiled before they fell into silence once more. Rin didn't say anything for a moment before she muttered. "I'm sorry."
Len turned towards her. "Huh?" He said in confusion. Rin smiled warily at him. "I...I'm sorry for back then..." She began and looked down at her lap. "At that time, I got angry and argued about you leaving, even though I knew what you were going through. I didn't want you to leave and I was being selfish...I didn't even bother come and say goodbye when you left. I really regretted it and I wanted to apologize to you but..."
Len remained silent as Rin took a deep breath and continued. "I really wanted to say sorry. I was actually planning to message you but I thought it would be better to say it face to face so...I'm sorry."
Len stared down at the bottom of his glass in silence. So all this time...Rin thought about him. He felt a nostalgic pounding against his chest as he thought of it. Rin has been thinking about him...
"Its okay, Rin." He said. "There's nothing for you to apologize...I understood how you felt so its okay."
"But-"
"Don't worry about it. Its already done so its fine." He cut in, smiling softly at her. "Its alright."
Rin stopped before she smiled shortly as Len smiled back. There was nothing for her to feel sorry about. She had nothing to feel sorry about. At that moment, Len realized...He was still in love with her.
"Rin-"
"Len-"
They began simultaneously, causing them to pause before they chuckled awkwardly. "You first." Len offered and Rin nodded. "Len, there something important I wanted to tell you." She said. Len tilted his head curiously as Rin grinned widely.
"I...I'm getting married."
At that moment, Len thought the world shook underneath him and the world seemed to dim. "Eh?" He said, stunned. Rin continued to grin. "A year after you left, I met someone. He was a schoolmate of ours and he's kind and loving that when he proposed to me, I said yes instantly!"
Len didn't hear the rest as Rin rambled on about how she was proposed to and how romantic it was.
Rin was getting married.
She was getting married.
She was going to belong to someone else...
"Len, are you listening?" Rin questioned, breaking Len's train of thoughts. Len smiled tiredly. "Of course I am." He said. "I just thought...your fiancee must be a very unfortunate man if he has to put up with you forever."
Rin pounted. "Hey! What's that suppose to mean? You jerk!." She huffed as she playfully punched him on the shoulder and Len chuckled lightly before glanced down at the counter. "So...when's the wedding?" He asked casually as he brought up his glass to take a sip.
"Around February 14th." She answered and Len paused, his glass an inch away from his lips. He reverted his gaze back to her. "Valentines Day? You plan to get married on Valentines?" He said.
Rin smiled sheepishly. "I know it seems like a bit of a rush but I really love him so I want to spent the rest of my life with him as soon as possible." She explain and blushed lightly. "Besides, I know its cheesy but it thought it would be romantic to get married."
Len stared at the bottom of his glass. February 14th...the day he realized he was in love with his best friend. He gripped his glass ever so slightly.
"Congratulations..." He muttered. Rin smiled happily. "Thanks Len." She said but then she gasped. "Oh! And by the way, I haven't told anyone that I'm already engaged so can you please keep it a secret for now?" She said with a wink.
So he was the first one to know she was getting married..
Len wasn't sure whether that was very kind of her...or incredibly cruel...
He then forced out a smile. "Of course Rin." He said. "My lips are sealed."
Rin giggled. "Thanks Len and I'll be sure to introduce him to you first when the time comes." She promised which made Len feel a knife twisting pain on his chest. Ah...how kind..and yet so cruel she is.
Len just stared at her as she smiled brightly. It reminded him of the smile she had during their graduation...a smile that wasn't aimed for him...
Sadness barely shone in his eyes as he watched Rin happily discuss to him about her plans for the wedding and how she wants to tell to everyone soon. She looks so happy...
Looks like...he was too late once again.
Her fiancee was named Mikuo. Hatsune Mikuo.
Len shocked when he first saw him because he recognized him in their graduation...He was the guy Rin smiled beautifully back then. Len wanted to hate him, he really did but...he couldn't.
Mikuo was kind and very polite and treasured Rin the way he would treasured her. He hated that part. If only Mikuo was the exact opposite...if he was rude and uncaring, Len would've taken Rin away. He would convince her to leave him and be with someone else...to be with him but...no, reality was cruel.
Len had always been the one who cared for Rin and treated her kindly since childhood and now, another person was taking his place. It hurts...but that was the truth.
And he just had to live with that...no matter how painful it was.
Months passed and its was finally Rin's wedding day.
Len had never so dreadful in his life. He knew he should be happy for his best friend. She was going to marry the man of her dreams. This was going to be the happiest day of her life...
And yet, Len couldn't stop the sinking feeling in his chest as he watched guests scatter around, greeting and chattering with friends and family. The whole church was decorated beautifully with white decor and the scent of flowers was in the air.
Everything seemed perfect...but where was Rin?
He glanced around until one of his friends walked up to him and told him that Rin wanted to talk to him at the back of the church, where the garden was.
He gave a small nod and went off to go to the back. He instantly spotted her sitting at one of the stone benches, wearing a beautiful pure white dress and was staring out at the gardens. He smiled and quietly approached her. Rin looked up as she noticed him approaching her and she grinned.
"You know, the bride is suppose to get ready for her wedding instead of staying here." Len remarked and Rin laughed. "Well, I'm already dressed for the wedding so nothing left to do but wait, I guess." She said as she stood up and faced Len. "So what do you think of the dress?" She asked.
Len scanned Rin's form. The wedding dress suits her, like it was made for her. It was simple and was decorated lightly with white flowers. She honestly looked like a real princess...
"You look...beautiful, Rin." Len complimented honestly. He then took a step towards her and lightly traced her powdered cheek with a single finger. Beautiful...just beautiful.
Rin lightly blushed at the compliment and smiled up at him. "Thank you, Len." She said. Len smiled back. There was a slight silence between them for a moment. "Say...Rin.." Len began. "Are you...happy?"
Rin was taken back at the question. "What do you mean?" She asked. "Of course, I'm happy." Len smiled a bit at that. "Truly?" He muttered.
"Yes, who wouldn't be happy on their wedding day?" Rin said. Len smiled warily. "Right. Sorry for asking such a weird question." He said.
"How about you, Len?" Rin suddenly asked. "Are you happy?" Len paused at the question. Was he happy? For a moment, Len was put on the spot on the question. No, he wasn't happy. He feel like it at all but he didn't want to tell her...but if he was being honest with himself...he hoped he'd get caught.
He hoped that Rin would finally notice the pain in his eyes. He hoped that she would finally see how he was unhappy with all this...He hoped she would finally realize that he loves her so much.
That was just too much to hope for...
Len turned and smiled brightly at her. "Of course I am! My best friend is getting married, and here I thought you'd forever be alone." He teased and Rin huffed. "That's a mean thing to say to someone who is getting married."
Len laughed. "Well then..." He began. "Shall I escort you, princess?" He then offered her his hand.
Rin blinked before she smiled and giggled. "Alright." She answered as she took his hand. Len lead her back to the church, beating down the sick feeling down his stomach.
It was better this way...
She was married. That was it now.
She was smiling so brilliantly as she walked down the aisle where the man of her dreams was standing proudly. Len could only watch from the sidelines as the girl he had loved for years...was going to belong to someone else.
Melancholy shone in his eyes as he watched them say their "I do"s and sharing a kiss as husband and wife. How he wished he was in his place.
After the ceremony, everyone cheered for the newly weds as they started the party to celebrate. Len stood at the corner, away from the group of happy people as they celebrated. He wasn't in a festive mood anyways. He watched as the newly wedded couple talk and chatter with friends as they congratulate them.
Rin was smiling brightly. Brighter than any smile he had ever seen and Len wished he was the cause of it.
He wished Rin would only look at him right now...
"Len!" He suddenly heard a voice call. He glanced up and saw Rin coming up to him with that same lovely smile. She looked so perfect...
"Congratulations Rin." Len said with a soft smile. Rin grinned. "I just want to thank you for coming to the wedding." She said and jumped towards him, wrapping her arms around him. "Thank you Len. You are the bestest friend anyone could have." She said.
Len blushed as he felt her soft body against him. His eyes softened before he embraced her just as tightly. "Always be happy, Rin." He muttered in her hair. Rin nodded and pulled away. She then lightly pecked Len's cheek before she walked away towards her husband.
Len stood there and reached for his cheek, lightly touching the place Rin kissed him. Sometimes, Len wished she wasn't so kind to him...because he wasn't the only one receiving her kindness.
He watched as the pair laughed happily together. A part of him wanted to tell her what he felt, he just wanted to be done with it and just say it...
But it was just too late now. He didn't have the right to tell her now...
But even so, he wished...even just for now, she would only look at him.
A couple of years has passed since then...
Len would once in a while receive letters and pictures from Rin, talking about her life with Mikuo but...Len never took a glance at them...because it was a life he longed to share with Rin.
Up until now, Len always thought that as long as he stayed by her side, he would be satisfied...but now, he can't seem to handle watching Rin live her life with someone else. He was stupid, he understood that. But there was nothing he could do to support her anymore.
She has Mikuo now...She no longer needed him like back then.
He never saw Rin face to face after the wedding...facing her again was something he tried to avoid now but because of that...he began to realize...just how lonely he was. It was a horrible feeling but he had to live with it.
As long as Rin was happy somewhere...he was fine with it. Even though, he felt terribly lonely and sad...as long as she was smiling, he doesn't care. As long as he could stay by her side, even as a friend...he can go on with his life.
Until one day, he received a call and dear kami...Grief tore him apart.
-0-0-0-
Ring Ring Ring
Len groaned as his phone rung noisily in the darkness. He buried his face into his pillow as his phone continued to ring annoyingly. He then sat up and tiredly glanced at the alarm clock beside him. It was midnight..Who the heck was calling at such a late hour?
Len reached towards his phone on the table and saw it was one of his friends calling. He grunted before answered it. "Hello?" He yawned. It just took six words from the other end before he froze.
There was silence in the air before he said a small "Oh." and ended the call. He stood up and walked over to the window. He stared up at the full moon that floated lazily at the sky. He just stood there, motionlessly before he suddenly sat on the ground and covered his face. He trembled visibly but tears did not fall at all. He wouldn't allow them to fall. He just sat there in silence as the night went on.
"Len...Rin had just passed away..."
-0-0-0-
And so here we are...back at the start.
Len entered the church a couple of minutes later. It was quiet with only the rain as background noise. He felt a weight on his chest as he entered the church. He could taste the melancholy inside the church as people began leaving the church...in front of the altar...was a casket that held his most beloved.
Most of the people had already left and there was silence. Some had stayed behind to say their condolence to Mikuo, who sat on one of the seats with a pained expression on his face...but it was nothing compared to the pain he felt on his chest.
Apparently, Rin had a rare disease which was slowly eating up her strength but more importantly, her life...there was no cure. She never told anyone...not even Len. The only one who knew was Mikuo but she told him not to tell anyone about her sickness because she didn't want anyone to worry.
Len wanted to hate Mikuo. He wanted to hate him for not tell anyone sooner, for not telling him sooner...but he still couldn't bring himself to despise him. If he was in his position..he would've done the same thing. After all...it was Rin's only wish.
Len silently approached Mikuo and sat beside him. There was silence between them as they stared at the coffin. "You must really hate me right now, huh?" Mikuo muttered quietly. "I never told you about Rin's sickness..."
Len slowly shook his head. "No." He said. "You respected Rin's wish...you have nothing to be sorry about."
Mikuo didn't say anything and silence fell again. "Just one thing..." Len began and turned to Mikuo with a serious look in his eyes. "Was Rin happy?"
Mikuo turned to him and nodded. "She was." He mumbled before he took out a slightly worn out notebook beside him and offered it to him. Len blinked and took the notebook with confusion. "its Rin's diary." Mikuo explained. "She wanted you to have it before she died." Len stared at the notebook, lightly caressing the cover.
Mikuo stood up and glanced at him. "She said she didn't want anyone to read it except for you." He said and paused. "I think...you're luckier than I'll ever be." With that said, he left the church, leaving him alone.
Len stared at the notebook before he stood up and walked over to the casket. He stared at the body of the girl he loved for so long...and yet never said anything.
Even in death...she still looked so beautiful. She seemed peaceful as she laid there covered in white...it was almost as if she was asleep. He reached out and cupped her cheek. She was so cold..
He pulled away as sadness filled his chest. He missed that beautiful smile of hers, he missed her warmth, he missed her...
He let out a soft sigh before he slowly lifted the notebook in his hand. He soon decided to open it and read what's inside.
His eyes widened as he read one of the pages...A page about the dance years ago...
-0-0-0-
February 14
My date for the dance tonight said he wouldn't be able to come. I felt frustrated because I had no one to go...but then Len said he would be my date instead. I was so happy that would be able to go to the dance.
It was so much fun, even better than I expected. Len was such a great dancer and he looked so handsome at the dance. Dancing with him was so wonderful. I realized that I wanted to dance with him more.
He has always been my best friend. Len has always been so kind to me and so gentle that it warms my heart. Its embarrassing and cheesy but he was the only one who ever made me feel special for my whole life. I realized at that moment what I felt for him was something more than just friends... I was in love with him.
When he escorted me home, I wanted to tell him...I wanted to tell him how much he meant to me but..I didn't have the courage. Instead I ended up just telling him he was a great friend and just kissed him on the cheek.
It was such a perfect opportunity to confess to him that I love him but I just lost the courage to tell him...because I was afraid he would reject me. I was afraid I would destroy our friendship.
Sometimes, I wish Len would tell me that he loved me too.
-0-0-0-
He wished he did too.
Len gripped the notebook as he felt something slid down his cheeks...and he realized it was tears. He trembled as tears rapidly began falling from his eyes. He looked down at Rin's lifeless body as he began to cry...for the first time in years. Len didn't cry when he found out she was getting married, Len didn't cry when he attended her wedding, Len didn't cry when he heard that she passed away without him knowing.
He cried because...he realized he was still in love with her.
But it just too late now...it was too late for him to tell her now.
All he had left now...was a worn out notebook that was much cared for and his broken heart.
A year later...
A certain blond haired male walked down the cemetery with a single rose in his hand. He quietly climbed up a hill where a single tombstone stood. He lightly shuddered as the breeze caressed his form and tugged his black coat tighter around him. He then stared down at the tombstone that say:
Rin Hatsune
Beloved Daughter and Friend.
He looked beside the tombstone to see, all sorts of bouquet of flowers and some sweets. The male smiled lightly turned back at the tombstone with a gentle expression. "Nice to see you again, Rin." The blond haired man said as he crouched down and placed the rose in front of the tombstone. He stayed there for a moment in silence.
"You know...I think its time for me to move on." He muttered. "For years...I always thought that as long as I was your friend, I could go on without worry but...I was just fooling myself." He reached out and gently traced her name. "I'm so sorry. I was a coward for not telling you. I tried to hold back my feelings for you when there were so many opportunities for me to tell you but I thought...I thought I would just get in the way of your happiness and hurt you..."
He then scoffed at himself and smiled sadly. "You must've felt the same way...you were also too afraid to say anything, just like me...Looks like we were both cowards." He then sighed and smiled. "But its okay now. I think I can move on now so you don't have to worry." He then stood up and said. "I love you Rin...Happy Valentines Day."
With that, he turned and left. The sun shone brightly as he felt a weight on his chest lightened. He left the cemetery quietly and this time for the first time in years...He smiled with anticipation for a new day to come.
A/N: O.M.G...this is probably the longest...and saddest one shot I have ever written. I guess I felt a bit depress lately. Ngggh, suddenly I feel like the bad guy because I love RinxLen (sorry to any MikuxLen fans reading this but RinxLen seems to be closer to my heart) Ahh, now I feel all guilty.
Anyways I hope you enjoyed this (unexpectedly) long one shot. Even though, I was originally planning to post this next year but I thought what the heck, let do just post! This was originally suppose to replace Someday, Cinderella but I thought this was too dark and sad.
Also btw, the buttons in the graduation scene has a reason. In japan, it is a tradition for a graduating male student to hand out his buttons, usually to underclassmen girls, as a form of a remembrance or something like that, it actually depends if the graduates would give away their buttons or not.
The first button is for your buddy.
The second button is for your true love.
The third and fourth are for your friends.
Be sure to review for me when you have the time and perhaps favorite as well okay?
Also try reading my new (and extremely unpopular X~X) story: Blessed Messiah and The Tower of AI for me okay? I need supporters people!
Anyways thats it for now so...bye!
-Yugao702