Disclaimer: I do not own Sonny With A Chance. Or Twilight. Or page 361 of Twilight.

~Dazzling~

By SomedaySheWillFly

Chad Dylan Cooper was seriously pissed. Who did that Cullen guy think he was, anyway, dazzling people like that? Dazzling was Chad's job. (It's true. He has the certificate to prove it.) What he couldn't figure out, though, was how the dumb bloodsucker dazzled. I mean, it's not like he had stunning blue eyes or amazing corn silk hair like Chad did. How do you dazzle without those? More importantly, did Chad still have his dazzling touch? He decided to ask Sonny. Maybe she would know.

"Sonny?

"Yeah?"

"Do I dazzle you?"

"...What?"

"Do I dazzle you?"

"! ! !"

"Well, you don't have to laugh at me. That's just rude."

"I'm sorry. Chad, have you been reading Twilight?"

"No...Yes. Only a couple of times. Don't change the subject. You never answered my question."

"That's because I'm still in shock that you actually read a book. And Twilight, for that matter!"

"I'm not stupid, you know."

"Whatever. I bet you just read it to get tips on picking up girls."

"So?"

"You are so fickle, Chad! I honestly cannot believe you just said that. And no, I'm not going to answer your question. It's dumb."

"Sonny, please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Oh my god. Fine. No."

"Sonny, just answer the question!"

"Overdramatic much? I just did."

"Huh?"

"I just did answer you. I said no. No, you don't dazzle me."

"I don't?"

"Isn't that what I just said? Twice?"

"Why not?"

"I don't know, Chad. You just don't dazzle me."

"Well, there has to be a reason. I dazzle everybody. Maybe you're defective."

"And maybe you're a jerk. I'll bet that's why you don't 'dazzle' me."

"Silly Sonny. I'm never a jerk."

"Last week you poured glue in my hair."

"I did n-"

"The week before that you stole my phone."

"Well, maybe, but-"

"Just yesterday, you dumped fro-yo on my head!"

"Hmm…It seems I'm going to have to tamper with your memory."

"Chad, what are you doing?

"…Nothing."

"Pinning me against the wall and leaning in is not nothing."

"I was just…tampering with your memory. Twilight. Page 361. Jeez, Sonny, get a clue."

"You were going to kiss me!"

"Psssh. Right. You're just so in love with me and my dazzling-ness, you're imagining things."

"Ugh. Chad, I am so done with this conversation."

"Sonny, wait!"

". . ."

". . ."

"Chad?"

"Yeah, Sonny?"

"Did you just kiss me?"

"Yeah, Sonny."

"Oh. Huh."

"Sonny?"

"Yeah, Chad?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, Chad."

"Do I dazzle you now?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you dazzle me."

And with that, Chad Dylan Cooper spun on his heel and walked away. Who cared about that stupid vampire when he had the one person he wanted to dazzle most?

His Sonny.

I think it's hilarious how late I am on making a Twilight story. Even if it's not really a Twilight story. (:

Review!