DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but this plot line.
She pulled the covers around her, unable to take the chill off of her. Her breathing was coming fast and she was trying to assure herself that she was safe in her flat, not being attacked in an alley. She looked around her bedroom and saw everything was as it had been when she went to sleep. She'd been asleep for an hour and a half when the nightmare had hit her.
She thought she was doing well. She had started dating again and was almost certain she was over the trauma of the Merrick incident. She was trying to move on with her life. She had tried to be there for Matt during his 'ordeal' and was really hurt when he said he was damaged goods. Nothing about Matt Devlin was damaged. She was the one that was damaged. She had been scarred in a horrible way. Matt knew what happened to her and, while she knew he didn't feel differently toward her, she was stepping away. She knew Matt wanted to protect her, but she didn't want him to protect her because of what happened. She wanted him to protect her because he loved her. She didn't want him to feel weird around her after everything that had occurred between the two of them following their 'incidents.'
She saw him and Ronnie regularly at work and that helped. Seeing Matt's cheeky smile and his beautiful eyes nearly broke her resolve to let him find a more suitable girl for him to love. She wanted to stay friends with him, but it was becoming increasingly harder when she was with him.
Thinking of Matt, calmed her considerably. She released her death grip on her blankets and willed herself to go back to sleep.
Matt Devlin, DS with the Metro police, took a drink of his beer and tried to concentrate on the football game on the telly. He couldn't find the focus and gave up, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He thought of Alesha. Of the pain on her face when he saw her in the A&E after the Merrick rape. He knew Alesha didn't want to talk about it, so he never brought it up. She never brought up the case where he testified for his friend Pete Garvy against the priest that had molested Pete as a kid. She had stood by and not been repulsed by the thought that it might have happened to him.
He knew she was pulling away from him and he couldn't understand it. He knew he cared deeply for the junior crown prosecutor, but he hadn't the courage to mention it to her. Matt suspected Ronnie knew, but Ronnie was an excellent copper. He could get Matt to admit what was going on with just a few well placed phrases. Ronnie knew how Matt felt about Alesha.
She woke up in a cold sweat, feeling like screaming, but it was caught in her throat. She thrashed against the restraints holding her. She kicked and scratched before she became awake enough to realize she was still in her bed in her flat. Her covers creating a slight restraint against her, causing her to jump back, afraid of being held down.
She was starting to hyperventilate. Her vision was beginning to blur and she knew she needed to get control. She grabbed her cell phone and, while trying to control her breathing, hit 2 on her speed dial. She couldn't talk when the voice on the other end picked up. She couldn't say a word.
His cell ringing at 2 in the morning wasn't good, but when he saw the readout 'Alesha' he knew it couldn't be good.
"Lesh, what's wrong," he said, knowing she wouldn't have called unless something was wrong.
He strained to hear her say something, but all he could hear was her soft whimpers and quick breathing. He knew she was having a panic attack and he had to help her.
Without hanging up his mobile, he grabbed a shirt from off the floor and slipped into his dirty tennis shoes. He grabbed his jacket, badge and car keys and ran out of his flat.
He flew down the stairs, the lift would take too long.
He threw open the parking garage door with a bang that echoed off the concrete walls. He rushed to his car and screeched his tires as he headed out of the garage and toward Alesha's apartment. He could still hear her and, despite his attempts to calm her, she was still freaked.
He'd only seen her like this once and he knew it had scared her that he had witnessed it.
He parked in front of her building, surprised to find a parking spot in the front.
He punched in Alesha's code. She'd given it to him when he'd had to bring a file over when she was recovering from the 'incident.' He left himself in and took the stairs two at a time to her floor. He opened the door of the stairwell and entered the hallway. He went to the third door on the left and, using the key he had, opened the door. "Lesh. Alesha, it's Matt," he said as he quietly shut the door to the flat.
He heard the whimpering coming from the bedroom and he followed the sound. He neared the door to the bedroom and saw her wrapped in her bed sheets, unable to stop the panic.
He got down on his hands and knees and crawled to her, so as not to scare her.
"Lesh," he said, reaching out to touch her.
When his hand touched her bare shoulder, she flinched. Her eyes immediately turned to him and widened in fear. He pulled his hand back and tried talking to her again. "Lesh, it's ok. It's me, Matt."
She looked at him and finally recognized the man in front of her. Sensing she was safe, she flung herself into his arms and started crying.
Matt, unsure of what to do, held the sobbing junior prosecutor until she had stopped shaking. He pulled her away from him slightly and looked into her eyes. "Lesh, what is it? Please talk to me," he said.
Alesha, realizing she was safe, Matt had arrived, looked up at her protector.
"It was awful, Matt. I thought I was being attacked and raped in an alley. I could see everything and I saw his face. Why is he still invading my thoughts? I don't like feeling this way. I want my life back," she said, sobbing harder into his chest.
"Lesh, he can't hurt you, unless you let him. Concentrate on the good," he said, rubbing her back and trying desperately to figure out how to help her.
Matt and Alesha sat on the floor of her bedroom. He holding her as she cried and eventually fell asleep in his arms. He would almost swear that she was sleeping peacefully for the first time in weeks. That thought made him smile.
Alesha slept peacefully for the first time in weeks. She woke up to the sight of Matt Devlin's arms around her and his beautiful blue eyes watching her, smiling when she awoke. How anyone could be so good looking after spending the evening taking care of a pathetic Alesha Phillips, she didn't understand. How he could spend the night holding her on the floor of her flat without question, stupefied her.
"Why," she asked, looking up at him.
"Why not," he answered, looking down at her.
"Why would you stay in this position for hours without trying to wake me," she asked.
"You needed it," he replied matter-of-factly.
"You must be awfully uncomfortable," she said, the concern in her voice for him touched him.
"I came here to help you. You called me and I came. My comfort means nothing compared to you feeling safe," he said.
She knew she should move, but she didn't want to leave the safety of his arms.
Reluctantly she pulled herself away from him and stood up. She walked over to her bed and sat down. Matt followed suit and sat next to her on the bed.
"Thank you for coming. I'm sure I ruined some kind of evening plans," she said, immediately regretting the thought that statement conjured up in her head.
"If you mean Cynthia, we broke up," he said.
"Why," she wanted to pose his answer carefully. The real reason he and Cynthia had broken up was because of Alesha. Cynthia had felt Matt was in love with Alesha and, despite his denials, knew she was right. Cynthia had broken up with him and called him a coward. Now, sitting on her bed, he felt like one. He wanted nothing more than to tell her the truth about how he felt, but he thought she was too vulnerable to hear that now.
"She was wrong for me. She was more me sister's mate and you know how she can't stand that her brother still single," he said.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Alesha said, when she wasn't sorry.
"Look, Lesh, I have to say this and I do realize how inappropriate the timing is," Matt started.
Alesha looked at him, wrapping her arms around herself. She didn't know what he was going to say, but she sensed it was bad, so she steeled herself against what he was going to say.
"We're mates, Matt. You can tell me anything," she said.
"I love you," he said, quickly looking at the floor, scared to see the look in her eyes.
Alesha hadn't been expecting to hear those words come from Matt Devlin.
"Matt, I'm shocked," she said.
When Matt heard that he thought he was going to get the rejection he had feared, but sensed was coming. He looked up at her and saw her eyes twinkling. She was smiling. A smile that he hadn't seen in weeks.
"I love you, too," she said. "I was scared you wouldn't want anything to do with me except be friends because of what happened," she confessed.
"Lesh, what happened to you was horrible and I hate that I couldn't have prevented it. But know this, I will protect you for as long as you love me because I love you. I want to be with you," he said.
Alesha felt the conviction in his words.
"Would you hold me," she asked him.
"I would love nothing better," he replied. He removed his shoes and set his keys and phone on the bedside table and propped himself up on the bed. Alesha moved easily into his arms and rested her head on his chest. His heartbeat was a bit fast and she hoped she was the cause. Matt wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. Alesha's eyes drifted closed as a smile crept onto her face. Matt's mobile vibrated on the table, but he ignored it. He knew Ronnie was looking for him, but he would call him later. Right now, he was in heaven and he wasn't leaving unless his angel kicked him out. He closed his eyes and drifted into a peaceful sleep.
He wasn't damaged and neither was she. They had repaired each other.