Remember the Wind

by lucy115c

Sherlock Holmes was always an insensitive, cold and the least empathic person you could ever meet, but you will have to wonder, why? Who turned him into a brilliant monster and was there ever someone so important, so close and full of understanding, that once they were gone, there was no point in staying human anymore. Rated T just to be sure.

According to some people, being a sociopath is not real, it's not a true psychological disorder. I've been told that people who claim to have this...well, issue were hurt once, more likely that their hearts and minds were shattered into pieces, their souls crushed and burned in agonizing pain. Convincing, isn't it? Can you even imagine that amount of desparation and sadness that would make you choose pretending to be mentally ill over simply admitting you were heartbroken once? It's much more complex, actually. You become obsessed, cold and your thoughts turn incredibly twisted, you stop being yourself. Slowly, you loose your mind, completely. The next thing you know, you're kneeling in the bathroom throwing around tissues soaked from fresh blood comming out of your cut open wrists, while you just can't ignore that feeling like there is someone right behind you.

Personal experience. It's been long time since then, but the memory is still here. Sadly, but not suprisingly, I am dead now.

I regret everything I've done. I regret leaving him behind, turning him into the monster he thinks he is and throwing away all those things I fought for. I regret not saying goodbye the most.

I knew him since I was sixteen. We were not friends, and in the beginning, I'm pretty sure we hardly stood eachother. He was incredibly arogant and a wiseacre, but I was able to fallow. He was always a scientist and I was a philosopher. I could read people, I could analyse absolutely anyone, exept for him. He was very good at pretending, but he never had enough patience to try to get close to people. He had this one rule, "If they were worth discovering, I wouldfind them by now ". It was good enough for me, but sometimes, having people around was a good mask. Sometimes.

As time went by, we got attached. A couple of messed up almost-orphans, codgers. I never had a lot of friends, but once I met him, I lost everyone else. I never had to explain anything, because he already knew. I loved that.

I hardly knew how he felt about me, but he was there and I appreciated it. Something about this annoying, quiet and brilliant young man always made me feel safe.