Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist is owned by Hiromu Arakawa and Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer. Also many of the ideas used in this fic are not my own, but come from the ideas of other people (mostly on deviantart, if I can find the people that I mean I will credit them) and real life situations.

"Morning everyone," Ed said with a small, drowsy smile as he walked into the kitchen one early morning and sat down in the empty chair at the small kitchen table.

"Morning Brother!" Al chirped cheerfully, grinning from ear to ear.

"Good morning, Ed," Pinako replied politely as she served pancakes. Even Den looked up and barked in greeting. Ed looked briefly at his girlfriend, Winry, expecting her to show some sign that she acknowledged his presence in the room. She didn't say anything; she didn't even look up at him. Her empty and unused plate had been pushed to the side, abandoned and forgotten. Winry was reading a large novel, her eyes glued to the page. Ed scraped his chair loudly across the floor as he pulled himself closer to the table. He then cleared his throat, watching Winry. Apparently, she was still ignoring him. Ed racked his brains. Was she in a bad mood? What had he done to make her mad?

"Winry?" Ed asked nervously.

"Hmm…?"

"Are you ok?"

"Hmm…"

"What?"

"…"

"Winry!"

"Hmm?"

"Winry! Are you listening to me!" Ed yelled, grabbing her book and tearing it away from her. As the book was ripped forcefully from her hands, Winry screamed in sorrow.

"Give me my book back Ed!" She shrieked, reaching across the table and grabbing it, attempting to pull it from Ed's hands.

"I'll give it back to you after you talk to me!" Ed shouted in reply, clutching onto the book, determined not to let Winry have it. "What are you reading, anyway?"

"Twilight!" Winry wept. She had given up trying to get the book back and was now sobbing uncontrollably. She sat on the floor, curled up in a little ball, her face buried into her arms, which were wrapped around her knees, pulling them tightly into her chest. "It feels like part of me is missing…" She began to rock backwards and forwards slowly. "Oh Edward, Edward, Edward, I need you…"

Ed frowned in confusion. Ok, so Winry was a little emotional, but he had never seen her do something like this. He looked at Al and Pinako questioningly. Al simply watched wide-eyed, just as puzzled as Ed was. Pinako was sighing and rolling her eyes, ignoring the incident as much as she could. She remembered the first time she had tried to take a Twilight book away from Winry, and the time when Den had eaten a copy of New Moon…

"It's ok Winry, what's upsetting you, I'm here," Ed said kindly, kneeling down and putting a comforting arm around Winry's shoulders. She slapped his arm away and slid away from him, glaring daggers at him.

"I don't want you, Ed," Winry hissed, "I want Edward Cullen! I want him! I need him! He is the love of my life, and you took him away from me! You might as well have torn out my heart and eaten it!"

Ed and Al both appeared to be very alarmed at Winry's shrieking. Ed was the first one to recover.

"I thought you were dating me, not some fictional character."

Winry blocked her ears and scrunched her eyes closed, "Don't say the 'F' word!" She wailed.

"There's nothing special about him," Ed muttered, "I've read Twilight and –"

"Oh my God!" Winry jumped up and grabbed Ed's arm, her eyes shining joyfully, "You've read Twilight!?"

Ed scowled. "No, I've read a little bit of it."

"Why didn't you finish it?" Asked Winry, "It's the best book ever! And you haven't read Breaking Dawn yet! The ending was amazing, it was SO intense! Ed, you have to read it!"

"I'm not reading it," Ed replied angrily, "And I don't know why you're so obsessed with Edward Cullen. He's a stalker, and he's an abusive boyfriend. And he's dead. You shouldn't be in love with dead people. There's actually a word for that."

"He's better that you!" Winry snapped.

Ed frowned. "Oh really? Does he have long hair? Is he an alchemist? Does he have a cute, adorable and huggable little brother? Does he work with the Flame Alchemist? Does he have automail?"

"He isn't short!" Winry countered with an evil grin.

"Don't call me short!" Yelled Ed, "That's it, we're over! You're dumped! So now what are you going to do? Jump of a cliff? Cause according to Bella, that's the best solution when your upset about a break up."

"Ed, shut up!" Yelled Winry. She whipped out a wrench and flung it at Ed. The tool went spinning through the air and slammed into Ed's head.

Seeking revenge, Ed mercilessly threw the Twilight book into the bowl of pancake mix.

"NOOO!!!!!!!!!"

"You shouldn't be reading those books, Winry," said Ed calmly. Winry ceased wailing in order to hear him, "I heard that every time you read a Twilight book, a puppy dies. Think of the puppies, Winry. Think of Den!"

Winry looked at Den nervously, chewing her thumb nail thoughtfully. The dog looked up at Winry and turned her head to the sighed. Her eyes….so sad….please don't kill me…..I love you……

"But I love them so much, and Edward, he's just so hot, and sexy!"

Ed put an arm around Winry and the two walked out of the kitchen door together, Winry still fighting back tears. "Don't worry, Winry. We'll get you help. Besides, you've got me. Edward Cullen wishes he was this sexy!"