The Ways Romeo and Juliet Could Have Ended
I don't own R & J, a dead guy called Shakespeare does.
Juliet: You know what?
Romeo: What?
Juliet: Let's run away and never look back!
(Teenage Dream plays as they skip away)
Romeo is about to kill Paris and is slashing his sword.
Paris: You have wounded me!
Unfortunately, Romeo kept slashing and Juliet happened to be nearby.
Romeo: Why is there blood dripping from her throat! Oh, she must have been alive!
Then he stabs himself with a sword.
Juliet makes out with Romeo.
Juliet: You suck!
She walks away and laughs.
Romeo kisses Juliet
Juliet: I'm a lesbian!
Juliet: I think Paris is super hot, so I'll marry him!Lady Capulet: I knew you would!
Romeo goes in for a kiss. Then he gets the lips of an electric eel and dies.
Juliet wakes up and knocks the poison out of Romeo's hand.
Romeo gets in a fight with Juliet
Romeo: You think my hair is too dark?
Juliet: It's dark like the night. (sigh)
Romeo (offended): WELL I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT'S DARK!
Then obviously, he uses a huge axe to behead her. Or a gun to shoot her. :(
Romeo: I'd like to tell you something mother.
Lady Montague (putting on makeup): Yes, speak quickly.
Romeo: I..I'm…uhhh
Lady Montague: SPEAK QUICKLY!
Romeo: I'm gay.
Lady Montague: Okay, what?
Romeo: You heard me. I'm gay.
Lady Montague: When a woman says what, it doesn't mean repeat what you said. It means change your mind.
Romeo: Or what?
Lady Montague: What do they do nowadays? Oh, just burn you alive.
Romeo: Damn, that's harsh. Well, I'm probably going to run away now.
Lady Montague: At least I get to say bye.
Rosaline: I love you Romeo!
Romeo: Me too!
And they get married without even running away!
The kissing scene
Juliet: Ah, You bit my lip.
Romeo: You spit in my mouth!
Juliet: Is it salty?
Romeo: Yes.
Juliet: And rusty?
Romeo: Quite a bit, why?
Juliet: You just licked some of my blood.
Romeo: That's just wrong.
Romeo spills the juice he was drinking.
Juliet: You spilled that stuff on my dress! Grape juice! On my white dress!
Juliet happened to step on Romeo.
Romeo: You just ruined the luster of my shoes! You stupid strumpet!
Juliet: (gasp) You've insulted me. How could you…
She covers her face and runs away. Face it, you can't have a girl you called a strumpet.
Romeo attempts to climb Juliet's tower. Well, Juliet is Juliet and not Rapunzel. So, Romeo falls off and dies.
Romeo gets into a time machine and meets Amanda Seyfried. Bye Juliet. (insert any hot celebrity)
Romeo: I have something to say, mom and dad.
Montagues: Yes?
Romeo: I love a Capulet.
Montagues: That's great! Get married.
Juliet tells her parents that she loves Romeo and they get married.
Juliet: Dad?
Capulet: hmmm?
Juliet: I would like to be a nun.
Capulet: Sure.
Juliet kills Paris, then marries Romeo.
Please tell me your favorite one, or even if you liked the original ending (Tragedy was one of Shakespeare's themes)!