Headless Hats
Just a little drabble I wrote ages ago. I hope you enjoy it!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything!
"Fred," asked George as they placed several different versions of Headless Hats on the shelves, "Does Cornelius Fudge always wear that awful hat?"
"I haven't ever seen him without it," Fred replied, "Why?" he asked, as a decidedly wicked grin spread across George's face.
"I have a brilliant idea," George replied, before whispering his plan in Fred's ear. A matching grin spread across Fred's face.
"Wicked!" they yelled, and gave each other high-fives, before heading back to their office to write a note to Minister Fudge…
***
"…so you see, Minister, these Shield Cloaks will actually save the Aurors quite a lot of energy and magic in the long run," Fred explained to the interested Minister of Magic, whose head was not adorned with his traditional headwear.
"I agree, m'boy, I agree," the portly Fudge nodded, before turning to Percy. "Weasley, send off an Owl to Rufus Scrimgeour immediately. Tell him to purchase five hundred of them."
Fred grinned. Everything was going according to plan, and they had even gotten a sizable order out of the deal. He snapped his attention back to the Minister, who seemed to be talking again.
"…must get going, I have a meeting to attend," Fudge said, looking around for his atrocious lime-green bowler hat.
"Here you go, sir," George said, swooping in from out of nowhere, and producing said hat from behind his back with a flourish.
"Thank you," Fudge said, and took his hat back. He shook hands with each of the Weasley twins before calling for Percy. They walked out of the store and into Diagon Alley. Fred and George were right behind them.
As Fudge exited the building, he replaced his hat firmly on his head. Suddenly, screams rent the air.
"Merlin's balls! He's headless!" one man yelled.
"Oh, my God! Someone call the Aurors! It's an Inferius!" a woman shrieked.
"Winston, I didn't know that it was Halloween. And where is his horse? The Headless Horseman must have a horse!" One woman asked her bewildered husband.
"It's not Halloween, Hilda," he replied.
"Oh."
Percy's reaction was the funniest of all. He grabbed the Minister's shoulders in a vice-grip and shook him, hard. "Minister Fudge, who has done this to you? What happened? Whom should I contact?"
"Get your hands off me, Weasley," Fudge snapped, "And what in blazes' name are you talking about?"
Percy removed his hands as quickly as if they were burned. "Your head is gone, Minister!" he wailed piteously.
Fred and George could not contain their snickers.
"Don't be ridiculous, Weasley," Fudge said harshly.
"But it's true sir!" he moaned, his own head in his hands. "What is the Ministry going to do?"
At this moment, Fudge tripped over a loose cobblestone, and, in the process of stumbling, his hat flew off. He was immediately seized in a hug by Percy Weasley.
"Minister! Thank Merlin you are all right!" Percy sobbed into the Minister's shirt. Fudge pushed him off and bent down to retrieve his lime-green bowler hat, and replaced it on his head, which promptly disappeared again.
Something clicked in Percy's mind, and turning around, he sprinted back to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and flung open the door.
"FRED! GEORGE!" Percy bellowed into the empty store. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"
Behind him, Fred and George dissolved into laughter.
"Wicked!"