Luana 3.5 (I've lost count)
"We have brought you here to announce two things:" Luan starts "1. Luna and I are in love, and 2. We're moving out"
"Awww cute, wait WHAT?" Lana and Lola exclaim
"Um, yeah we-we're leaving," Luna says, almost like she regrets something
"Cause Mom and Dad obviously don't support or care about us" Luan finishes
"No, I-I won't let you leave us" Lucy says with defiance "I may only be 12, but I know a bad idea when I see one"
"I don't want you guys to go either, I should've never told Mom and Dad about what happened that day…" Lynn says, tears starting to form in her eyes
"What happened?" Lucy whispers to Lynn
"They had… Intercourse" Lynn whispers back
"I-I don't know what to say… I-I'll m-miss you both, come back and v-v-v-visit" Lincoln says, before him and all 7 other sisters burst into tears
"Quick sidebar Luan, are we sure we should go?" Luna asks
"Of course, Luna!" Luan quickly responds
"It's just I dunno how this is going to end up, I mean we don't even have jobs" Luna retorts
"We are both incredibly talented Luna, and anyone who doesn't see that is just as dumb as Mom and Dad" Luan almost screams
"Actually y'know what, I don't want to go! I want to stay and watch my younger siblings grow up, and sure, I could be grounded for the rest of my godforsaken life, but I love the people in this house, you included of course, Leave me right here, cause I don't wanna go Luan!"
"Hell yeah! Volcano Girls!" Linc shouts from what seems like miles away
"W-what?" Luan says in shock
"Well for one, that was indeed Volcano Girls by Veruca Salt, and two, yeah, I don't want to leave The Loud House"
"HOW MANY WISHING WELLS CAN YOU SPIN IN, YOU FOOL! Can't you see that Mom and Dad will kill us if we stay"
"Aw Yeah Cannonball!" Who knew Linc liked grunge
"They'll kill us if we go. Luan, you gotta let me know, Should I Stay Or Should I Go" Luna retorts
"SIDEBAR OVER" Luan yells
"Okay all, Luna here wants to stay and accept her punishment from our asshole parents-" Luan says
"I know I'm not exactly a saint, but don't curse in front of the little ones Luan" Luna says cutting her off
"- with all of you, and I want to leave, but I love you all, but I love Luna more, so I guess I'll stay" Luan says
"Yayyyy!" the remaining siblings exclaim
"But, if we stay, you guys have to tell Mom and Dad we left, because they don't have to care about us" Luna says
"I think Lucy, Lynn and I can handle that, unless they try to do something to your room" Lincoln says, his confidence wavering at the end
Suddenly, Lynn pulls Lincoln in and kisses him passionately
"LYNN WHAT THE F-WORD WAS THAT?" Lucy exclaims
"I love you Linc" Lynn sorta answers
"Lucy help me out here" Lincoln tries to say past Lynn's wandering tongue
Then, Lana planted a kiss on Lola's mouth, which was returned
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS" Lucy screams
"Fuck this c'mere you" Luna says, pulling Luan in for a kiss
"HAVE YOU ALL GONE BATSHIT INSANE?" Lucy asks/screams
"I can't fully proshess human emotions" Lisa remarks
"ARGGGGHHHHH, LYNN, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU" Lincoln says
"I fell in love, Linc" she says, as pink lightning bolts appear above her head
"No, No, No, Nononono" Lucy says "This ain't o.k"
Lana and Lola then broke their kiss
"You too are 10 fucking years old, and you just kissed, you two are 19 and 18 and are acting like giddy teens, and then you Lynn, my roommate, my closest sister, have just sexually assaulted your only brother, and not to mention, committed a crime against nature!" Lucy rants
"Lucy, wha-what just happened, sexual assault, Linc, crime against nature, LUCY WHAT DID I JUST DO" Lynn asks
"Y-you just kissed me Lynn" Linc answers in a daze
"I-I-I Did what now?" Lynn asks
"You. Lynn Loud Jr. Kissed. Me. Your Brother." Lincoln responds
"One, don't call me junior, and two, bullshit I kissed you" Lynn retorts
"Lynn, why would I lie, also, how don't you remember, were you not in control of your body or something. I mean, I saw pink lightning above your head Lynn. Pink! Your 2nd to least favorite color." Lincoln once again tries to explain
"LISA, explain now" Lynn shouts
I should also mention Lola, Lana, Luna and Luan were still kissing here
"It sheems that your emotionsh are not in your control, rather you're all puppetsh being controlled by shome higher power." Lisa explains
"What!?" everybody exclaims
"YOU'RE ALL PUPPETS!" Lisa shouts
"Ohhhhh, wait, what? By who?" Lynn and Lincoln ask
"Jinx, knock on wood" they both say
"Aw shit we tied" Lynn says
"Beatsh me" Lisa says
The end I guess, I don't know anymore