The Regrets of a Slytherin
AN: This is my first endeavor into this fandom and I would appreciate any type of advice, or critiques. It is a little slow BUT it will get better I promise! Please Please review! Much Love, MJ
Chapter 1: Potions 101
Severus Snape made his way down the soundless halls of Hogwarts. The hallways that were once jovial, and filled with excited students and peculiar characters of all kinds. The portraits that lined the moving staircases would move with vibrancy, but now they remained dull and lifeless. Not one of the subjects in the pieces would come out when Snape roamed silently through the halls. They were all afraid of him.
Severus made his way to the Potions room with his thoughts the only thing keeping him company. The wizard quickened his pace. It was not that he was worried of getting caught, he was the headmaster after all, but he needed to find his solace.
Snape made his way to his old potions room quickly slamming the door, and locking it shut. He made his way through the room slowly running his hand along the black wooded desks of the room. The wizard made his way to the door that sat at the end of the classroom. Severus stole one more glance at the room before entering his office.
His office was filled with potions of every kind. Their different colored hues lit the room as they sat in different sized vials. He reached his desk with a hastened pace and he sat down in the chair. There had been many nights years before this one that he had found himself in his exact position.
He had his head lying on his desk. He slowly inhaled and exhaled trying to gain a shred of the man he used to be. Everything this past year had been emotionally taxing. He had no privacy as headmaster, and no one believed his act anymore. He didn't care, but the Dark Lord did.
Snape was to remain the trustworthy headmaster of Hogwarts. Who was he kidding? He didn't know how to run a school! He was doing enough as is. He was trying to help the Potter boy for the sake of Lily, and now he was stuck running Hogwarts. Many days were grueling and difficult, and the only thing that kept him afloat was his memories.
Lily
Severus picked his head off his desk and opened the small desk drawer that lay underneath his desktop. The drawer remained empty to the human eye, but a simple incantation would reveal the real objects it held. The wizard recited the simple phrase that broke the charm he placed on the desk drawer.
The lovely Lily of fair white, brightens the day and darkest night.
The once invisible objects materialized before the man. Of these many objects, there was a picture that sat limply on the bottom of the desk. Snape picked up the dainty picture that sat in the drawer. The she was smiling at him. She was waiting for him laughing that he was late as always…..
~.o.O.o.~
"Silly Severus! You're always late!" Lily giggled as she ran up to her closest companion. She was dressed in her regular, or more muggle attire, because they were meeting in King's Cross Station so they could go through platform nine and three quarters together. Her soft red hair bounced as she ran with her train cart to her smiling friend.
"I'm sorry Lillian, I just got tied up!" Severus said knowing that calling Lily by anything other than her nickname would annoy her. She playfully hit him as she stuck her tongue out.
"Besides if I were early I wouldn't have been able to get this for you!" he said smiling as he pulled out a bouquet of flowers for his companion. Lily looked at the flowers and smiled as she watched them change colors.
"Severus, you know that if we use magic outside of school we could be in HUGE trouble!" Lily said looking at her friend with cautions look gracing her face. Severus frowned slightly at her disapproval, and the fact that worry lines disturbed her beautiful face.
"I know just keep watching them! I promise that you won't be disappointed!" Severus said trying to draw attention away from his illegal use of magic and to the beautiful flowers his friend held. She watched in amazement as the flowers changed colors until they changed into pure white lilies.
"Wow. That's beautiful Severus! Thank you!" Lily said as she threw her arms around her dear friend. Severus was taken aback by her reaction, but accepted the hug graciously from the woman he held so dear to his heart.
The two made their way through platform nine and three quarters as they found their train. Neither of them had any parents see them off. Severus felt a pang of hurt mixed with jealousy sting his heart. Just as the wizard tensed up his hand gripping his cart handle, Lily placed her delicate hand on his rough hand.
Severus exhaled sharply letting out the anger and pain he felt, and looked toward the beautiful woman that stood beside him. She smiled at him softly as her emerald green eyes showed understanding in them. The couple made their way to the train with Lily's soft hand placed on Severus.
The two friends made their way to their cart as Lily raced for the window seat telling Severus about all she was going to do this year.
"And hopefully he'll notice me this year….Severus are you listening to me?" Lily asked looking at her distracted friend.
He wasn't. Severus was not meaning to ignore his wonderful friend. He was just distracted by seeing such a joyful face fill his mind again.
"I'm sorry. Who? Do you want to notice you this year?" Severus asked half interested, but half distracted by the beautiful woman that sat across from him.
"Why, James Potter of course!" Lily said slightly blushing when she mentioned his name.
Snape sighed gently at the mention of him. James Potter. He was a 6th year, and that meant trouble for his dear friend the 5th year. It wasn't that Severus hated 6th years, but this particular 6th year had a bad reputation.
Severus had seen the terrible acts James did firsthand. James would induct little 3rd years into his 'club' by finding harsh methods of hazing. Many of the 3rd years would crack under pressure because some of the 'inductions' were cruel. Severus never had any desire to be in James' little club so he stayed away from him.
Unfortunately, Severus' constant attempts of isolation did not go unnoticed by James Potter. Whether the wizard wanted to admit it or not Severus' stoic personality had him liked by the girls, and he was a potions wiz. Basically Severus Snape had gained unwanted popularity, and all he wanted to do was hang out with that silly little red head. James Potter would get his revenge on his rejection from Severus Snape.
"Lily, James Potter is a pig. You don't want to have anything to do with him trust me." The young man said trying to quickly wave the subject away so the two could talk about more excitable concepts. Lily frowned ever so slightly at the wizard, and went to speak when a young woman approached the couple's door.
"Oh look Severus! It's your clan." Lily teased as the young woman entered their room not letting her eyes leave the black haired man.
"Cornelia…." Severus went to rudely tell the girl to leave when a loud shriek left the blonde's mouth.
"You said my name! You guys he said my name! That MUST mean he likes me!" The young woman shrieked as she spoke to the group of girls gathering behind her.
"Cornelia…If you and your posse do not leave in exactly ten seconds. I will permanently transfigure you into a rat and then feed you to my pet snake." Severus said trying not to lose his cool entirely.
"You see Severus and I have important private matters to discuss girls." Lily said winking at the group and placing a hand on Severus' hand.
The girls frowned collectively as they made their way out of the tiny room. Lily's hand remained on Severus' for what felt like eternity and Severus he wished he could have froze time. That pure moment of bliss ended and the poor man was brought back to reality as his dear friend spoke.
"Epppp! Severus! There he is!" Lily said as she jabbed her elbow into his side. Severus coughed lightly at the slight blow his ribs received. James Potter walked past the room staring at the two friends. Severus glared intensely at James, and James winked at Lily knowing what buttons to push to anger his enemy.
Lily squealed lightly not realizing the particularly malicious mood radiating from her displeased friend. She looked over at her friend with excitement on her face, and Severus could not help but smile.
The two friends spoke about many of the year's events as the train proceeded to make its way to Hogwarts. Severus and Lily made their way all the way to the Great Hall until they realized this was as far as they could go together. Lily looked at her friend with saddened eyes, placing her fragile white hand on his own.
"Sometimes, I think they sort people too early." Lily said smiling weakly at her dear friend. She went to go leave the young man but Severus did not relinquish his grip on her small hand.
"Wait.." Severus wanted to tell his dear friend so many things. He wanted to tell her how he loved her. How all he wanted to do was hold her hand and keep her safe, but he didn't.
"Have a nice dinner." The young wizard smiled at his friend trying to cover up his almost confession. Lily smiled at her friend, and squeezed his hand tightly.
"Silly boy! Of course I will!" Lily teased her friend releasing his hand and making her way towards the Gryffindor table.
That became the first regret of our friend the Slytherin as he made his way to his table.