Just some funny idea I got. Hope it's ridiculousness doesn't make you keel over and puke rainbows.
Action.
'Thought'
"Speech"
Contrary to popular belief, Not all is as it's made out to be. Here are a few scenarios to show you what I mean.
Gryffindors really aren't all that brave.
"Oh my god! O-over there, in the corner... it's.. a... A SPIDER! HARRY, HERMIONE GET IN HERE NOW!"
"Ron! What is it?"
"Harry! Look, over there, in- in the corner... it..."
" ... Ron, are you talking about the spider?"
Whimper.
"Please jus-just kill it, PLEASE!"
" ... What are we going to do with him Hermione?"
Sigh.
"I don't know Harry, I just don't know."
Hufflepuffs aren't really all that hardworking.
"Is McGonnagall crazy or what! Just look at all this work she assigned us! Nobody could do all of this in one week!"
" . . .Ernie, it's only 7 Inches ."
"I know! She must be insane! I mean, I know Hufflepuffs are hard working and all , but this is too much, even for me!"
"..."
"Yes, great idea Hannah, let's go on strike!"
"But I didn't say- Susan come help me with him."
"Ernie, you do realise going on strike will require making posters and campaigns, right?"
"... I'll have the House Elves do it."
"You're pathetic, you know that?"
Raveclaws aren't really all that witty.
Stumble.
Sneer.
"Really Patil. It's amazing how you seem to get clumsier by the day."
"... Yeah, well... You're- you're a MEANIE! So there!"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"... Was that supposed to be an insult?"
"SHUT UP!"
Slytherins don't really have a sense of self preservation.
'I will /kill/ the next person who talks me.'
"Oh look, It's Scarhead! Where-"
"Shut up Malfoy."
"What Potty, not having a good-"
"DIE!"
"AGH!"
Gryffindors really aren't that chivalrous.
"I'm /so/ cold!"
"It's your own fault for coming without a jacket on."
" . .You know George, the gentlemanly thing to do would be to give me your coat."
"You kidding? I'm not going to freeze my arse of because you were to thick to bring a jacket!"
"You're a bastard."
Hufflepuffs really aren't all that sweet.
"Why hello Eleanor, how are you on this-"
"SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"I- uhm... Dear, are you alri-"
"DID I SAY YOU COULD TALK TO ME? HUH? DID I?"
"..."
Growl.
"Oh my. It's that time of the month again, isn't it?"
"I HEARD THAT YOU KNOW! YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT EVEN HERE AND-"
"Yeah, I think so. It must be particularily bad this time."
"-BASTARDS! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I TALK TO YOU, YOU-"
Insert random profanity here.
"..."
Ravenclaws really aren't all that intelligent.
"Mreeoooow!"
"We shall finally have our answer to the eternal question! Do cats always land on their feet?"
"How are we going to do that?"
"Why by dropping this cat of the Astronomy tower of couse!"
"Oh, what a good idea!"
"I know. Luna suggested it."
"So let's try it already!"
"Alright. Aaaaand releasing cat in five-four-three-two . . ONE!"
"MEEEOOOWW!"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"So, did it work?"
"I don't know, all I can see is this red splotch . . ."
Slytherins really aren't all that shrewd.
"FOOD!"
"Huh, yeah. FOOD!"
"FOOOOOOOOOOD!"
"FOOD, FOOD! Ha ha!"
"Why do I hang out with you guys again?"
"Uh... Food?"
"Oh yes- Father said you'll protect me from the taint of those disgusting mudbloods. I remember now."
"Yeah! Mud-... Mud- ... Uh... Muddy!"
"Just being around you is killing my braincells."
Okay, my secondest ever fanfic! Tell me what you think!
EDIT: Lol hei gaiz. So yeah, I fixed this up a tiny bit. It still sucks, but now it doesn't suck as much! 8D