Cracking our Bad Habits

Summary: Ok Francis, I admit it. I have a drinking problem. So what? There's no reason to drag me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting… but maybe there's more to this program than I know…

Warning: No Frenchmen were harmed in the making of this story.

Francis watched as his childhood friend had his 20th beer that night, and looked away as he began arguing with a burly man sitting next to him at the bar. Seriously, after almost a decade of watching Arthur drink alcohol like water, Francis knew his friend had a serious problem.

Of course, he'd never say it directly. The last time he did… well… Arthur did apologize eventually (when he sobered up), but breaking Francis' car windows, smashing the hood, and slashing his tires really did put a damper on the Frenchman's mood. But he had to support him, no matter what.

I mean, that's what friends do… right?

Francis sighed, running his hand through his silky hair. Yes, friends helped each other... and it was time to take action, and in a very convincing way.

"So are you sure the program works?" He asked, looking at the small pamphlet Mr. Ludwig Beilschmidt presented him, in the small, tidy office.

"Of course. Our primary purpose is to help others stay sober, and change their lives so they don't have to drink."

"Well, Mister Ludwig, I am open to anything right now, so how do I get my friend to join?"

Ludwig cleared his throat. "Well, you could bring him into one of our open meetings we have. There's one coming up, and anyone can come. It might convince your friend this program really can help him."

"All right, I'll bring him." All he had to do was find a good excuse...

Two weeks passed, and Francis found himself standing in front of the local recreation center, with an irate Arthur standing next to him.

"I still don't see why we're here. The pub's a block away, why don't we go there?"

"No, no, Arthur, you see, there's a sort of… cooking class I wanted to see. It will be fun, no?"

"Whatever, you owe me some damn good rum after this…"

They walked into the center, and following the directions, headed towards the indoor basketball court. Francis scurried his friend to the back, as the place began to fill with people. Arthur looked around, and saw nothing that suggested this was another horrible cooking class with weird teachers and unappetizing food. No, everybody seemed to be looking around as well, unsure of what exactly they were doing.

"Francis, what kind of cooking class is… this…" Arthur looked at the banner hanging over the wall, on top of the electronic scoreboard, bearing the dreaded logo…

"Alcoholics Anonymous? Francis, what the hell are you playing at?" He blurted out, grabbing Francis by his shirt, and pulling him down to his eye level. "You better explain the bloody meaning of this!"

"Eh-heh-heh, n-nothing to worry about Arthur." Francis tried to look anywhere as he tried to reason with him. "You know you could use a little help with your... problem."

"How many time do I have to tell you, I don't have a bloody drinking problem! If you—"

"Problems, gentleman?" Ludwig said, stepping in slowly. "You seem to be causing quite a commotion for our guests… I must ask you to sit down and relax."

"Who are you?" Arthur asked gruffly, letting go of Francis' shirt.

"I am Ludwig Beilschmidt, and I will not tolerate you disrupting my meeting, so I ask you kindly to take a seat." He stared straight into Arthur's eyes, not daring to look away.

"Whatever." He stormed to a chair, and Francis looked at him disapprovingly.

"I apologize, he gets like that sometimes." Francis said, and Ludwig nodded.

"Yes, I believe you brought him in just in time."

Arthur sat down on the cracked plastic chair, and felt his anger rise. How dare Francis even think he had a drinking problem? He was fine, for Pete's sake! Sure he went to the pub every day, sure he drank more than the average person, so what?

"Looks like yer havin' fun there, eh, Artie?" Arthur turned to look into crimson eyes, and broke into a grin.

"Gilbert! Where have you been, you bloody oaf? The pub hasn't been the same without you!"

"Yeah… I sorta decided to quit… you know me," Gilbert said, flashing a cocky grin. "This brand of awesome doesn't happen by magic! Had to impress my lil' bro over there and now look at me! I got one hot date waiting for me, no alcohol needed." The silver head sat down next to him. "So what brings ya here? Last time I saw ya, ya drank yer way through the finest German beer and still managed to make it to the bathroom before ya threw up!"

Arthur laughed. "Yep, good times. Now Francis thinks I have problems with drinking, and he brought me here. Stupid git…"

"Yeah well, he's probably got yer best interest at heart." Gilbert sighed. "Took me a good beatin' to change my mind, but lil' West pulled me through. Only family I got, and I treated him like trash everytime!" He laughed, and looked at him, "But he stood by my side every damn step, and now… here I am, talking to my old drinking buddy and actin' like a saint."

Arthur admired his friend. A few months ago, Gilbert would have been the first one to call for a late night drink, but now he saw his friend was becoming more than just a drunk.

"So Artie, I suggest ya pay attention to what they say, or ya might end up regrettin' it." Gilbert said softly, and stood up. "I'm gonna be rootin' fer ya, so don't disappoint me, or the awesome me will come kick yer ass."

"As if, you sodding wanker," Arthur scoffed, and grinned. "'S far as I'm concerned, I know I don't have a drinking problem, but you people wouldn't leave me alone if I didn't try this."

"Ya always were delusional Artie. Have a little faith here, would ya?"

"So if I do this, and stay sober for a good 3 months, you'll leave me alone?" Arthur asked on the way to their shared apartment.

"Yes, of course," Francis said, feeling a little elated his friend decided to try the program. "Bloody pamphlet, there's too much to know!"

Arthur groaned. "This better be worth it…"

I don't mean to offend anybody in any way, so if you think there's some desperate changes needed, just let me know! I actually have no idea what goes on at a AA meeting, but anything to make this story accurate!

Hope this summer isn't a bummer! :)