Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush. I just own the storyline, Allie, Dylan, and Lily.
I wake up in my bed and smile, jump out of it and run over to my calendar to make sure that I'm not dreaming. I end up letting out a little yelp. Today was the day of the concert that me and my sister, Lily were so counting down the days for. I jump into the shower and go to school. It was probably the longest day of school in my life. I came home and ran straight down to my room in the basement. I start going through all of the clothes in my closet, trying to find something to wear. Eventually, I ended up with all of my clothes out of my closet and thrown somewhere across my room. I run to my sister's room across the hall and see her doing the same.
"Lily!" I smile. "What are you wearing?" I scream.
She screams in return and pulls out some white skinnies and a really cute ruffle top. Her short curly brown hair is straightened and her makeup is perfect.
"Argh! Help me find something if your already done!" I say and run back to my room. She ends up handing me a dark pair of distressed jeggings and a white blouse.
"Are you sure this is good enough?" I ask, anxiously.
"Al, stop stressing. You're going to look amazing. If you don't stop I'm going to go without you," she says and laughs when she sees my face. "I'm kidding. Now let me do your hair," She says and leads me into the bathroom that we share. She turns on the curling iron and starts playing some BTR from her iPod. She curls my long blonde hair loosely and all she has to do is put mascara on me. We both look into the mirror at each other.
"Sometimes I don't see how we're even sisters," she whispers. I look into the mirror. Lily looks like a supermodel even in sweats. Her 5'8 frame is perfect and her short brown hair perfectly frames her face. She can pull off any makeup that you put on her and her brown eyes look stunning with the makeup she's wearing. My short, 5'3 frame has to have certain clothes and I can't pull off any make up besides foundation and mascara. My straight long blonde hair goes down to about my waist and when it's curled is goes to my ribs. My blue eyes look amazing with my outfit and even when I wear heels I can't compare to Lily.
"Wow," I say. "The only thing we have in common is probably our noses," I laugh. "And I even think that I have moms and you have dads!" I add. She laughs.
"Come on," she says and goes into her room and walks out a few minutes later with her outfit on. I wait upstairs and she comes up hiding something behind her back. I look at her skeptically and she just smiles and whips out two new tickets. Front row.
"What!" I ask, stunned.
"Happy late birthday, Allie," She says and smiles. "18 was your golden birthday, after all," she adds.
I beam and put the pass in my small satchel and we go out to her car. She drives us to the concert and I swear that my nervousness is radiating.
"Just calm down," Lily says and gets out.
We got out of the car and made our way to the ticket booth. We handed our passes to the woman and she let us through, and immediately the bouncers led us to our seats.
"This is so exciting!" I whisper-slash-yell to Lily. She laughs and the venue starts to fill up fast. Eventually, the whole crowd is chanting 'Big Time Rush' and the boys come out. Lily and I both sang along to the concert. All of the sudden, James Maslow is standing in front of my sister. He takes her hand and leads her to the stage. He sings Worldwide to her and by the end Lily is beaming. Girls are screaming, letting out their jealousy of the beautiful girl on stage. I smile. After the song James whispers in her ear and she smiles and nods. When she comes back to our seat I cock an eyebrow and she gives me a knowing smile and winks.
After the concert I turn to go. I was determined to get a t-shirt. Lily grabbed my arm.
"Wait," She said and beamed again.
"What?" I ask and take my arm out of her grip.
"The surprises aren't done yet," She says and the next thing I see is James Maslow standing behind my sister, smiling. I stand there speechless.
"Hey Lil," James says and hugs me. "I'm James, and you must be Allie," he says.
"Yeah," I manage to stammer out. I look at Lily, "Wait, he just called you Lil. The last person to call you that was-" I say, although I stop because I can't bear to think of the horrible memory. James smirks and Lily looks up at him and smiles.
"I met James at Starbucks a few weeks ago and that's how I got the tickets. And that's how you're going to meet all of BTR," she says and smiles. "Aren't I just the best?" she says and laughs at my facial expression. "Come on, you know you love me," she adds and holds her arms out. I hug her and James leads us backstage.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me that you met them," I whisper to her on our way backstage.
"My bad, I just thought that I would want to give you the best birthday present ever," she says sarcastically and James opens the door to their room. Logan is on his iPhone and Carlos and Kendall are throwing pieces of popcorn at each other, trying to catch them in their mouth. All of them turn to look at the three of us. Carlos jumps up and smiles. He puts out a hand.
"Hi, I'm Carlos," he says.
"Hi, I'm Allie," I smile and shake his hand.
Kendall throws a piece of popcorn at Carlos and walks up to me he gives me a hug.
"Kendall," he says and smiles.
"I know," I say and smile back. Kendall and Carlos go back to throwing popcorn.
Logan is the last to stand and he smiles.
"Obviously I'm Logan," he says and chuckles.
"And obviously I'm Allie," I say and we both laugh.
"I don't think you want to get in the middle of Kendall and Carlos. You can sit by me," he says and I do as he says. We talk about BTR for a while and then I realize that Kendall is staring at me.
"What?" I ask him.
"Nothing, it's just-" He stops and his green eyes get a strange curiosity in them. "Nothing," he says and throws another piece of popcorn at Carlos. I look at Logan with a confused look and he just shrugs. His phone goes off and he looks at it angrily.
"Is something wrong?" I ask.
"No, nothing, I'm just not feeling well," he says and stands. "I think I'll just take the limo home," he adds and stands.
"Oh, feel better," I say and smile. He smiles back and walks out of the room.
I caught Kendall staring again.
"What?" I ask nervously. I look around and see that James and Lily are gone.
"Nothing," he says quickly.
"This is the second time I've caught you staring at me Kendall. What are you thinking?" I ask.
"I was just wondering how you and Lily are sisters. You guys are complete opposites..." he says.
"Oh, yeah, we look a lot different," I say.
"No, you guys have some resemblance but you guys are totally different. You're quieter and down to earth. Lily is loud and obnoxious, she doesn't care what people think. No wonder why she's dating James," he says and laughs. "They're exactly alike," he adds.
"Lily and James? Dating?" I ask. He nods.
"She didn't tell you?" he asks and cocks an eyebrow. I shake my head. "Oh, I thought you two were closer than that," he says.
"Yeah, me too," I say under my breath.
Carlos looks over to me and notices that my mood had changed.
"Hey Allie, want to play hide and seek? Me, Kendall, and Logan did earlier. It's really fun here," he says and gives me a big smile. I can't help but smile back.
"Sure, but I don't know where to go here..." I say.
"Oh that's okay, you can come with me for a few rounds," Kendall says. I smile and nod.
"Okay, I'll count!" Carlos says and jumps up, he runs into the bathroom. I hear a faint '1... 2... 3...'
Kendall grabs my hand and we run out onto the stage.
"Stay here," he says and runs backstage. All of the sudden I feel the floor sinking and Kendall is standing next to me again.
"Whoa," I say and he laughs. We step off of the sinking piece of stage when it's done. When we're below the stage he presses another button and the floor rises back up.
"He'll never find us," he says and laughs again. My heart skips a beat and I laugh along with him. I feel nervous again and then feel my iPhone vibrate. I take it out if my bag and I want to throw it at the wall. My boyfriend would be calling me right now. I quickly put it back into my purse and Kendall cocks another eyebrow.
"My dad," I say and shrug, although I wanted to cry after I said that. Kendall chuckles.
"Wait," he says and starts rummaging in his jeans pocket. He pulls out his iPhone and smiles. "Trade ya," he says and holds out his phone. I smile and take mine out, quickly deleting the call and handing it to him. I enter my number and hand it back. He smiles and I see that the ceiling above us is starting to descend. Carlos is standing there in a few seconds.
"You guys suck at this," he says and laughs. "Now go count!" he adds and runs away. Kendall and I start walking back to the dressing room.
We arrive at the dressing room and Lily and James are sitting on the couch.
"We have to go," Lily says and stands. I sigh and hug Kendall goodbye.
"See ya," I say and walk out of the dressing room with Lily. I get out into the parking lot and it's weird not seeing it full of cars. I look around and then see someone coming out of the building running full speed towards us. I was just about to ask Lily if she could recognize who it was but she was already in the car. I realize its Kendall. He gets closer to me and starts slowing down. I give him a confused look and he just smiles.
"Hey," he says.
"Uh, hi..." I say awkwardly.
"Oh! I almost forgot. You forgot your phone. Well technically I forgot to give it back," he says and gives me an apologetic smile, holding out my phone.
"Oh, wow. Thanks," I say and put it in my bag.
"Yup," he says and puts his hands in his pockets.
"Alright then…" I say and slowly start backing away from him.
"Wait, would you want to hang out sometime?" he says and smiles. "Preferably tomorrow," he adds.
"Sure, just text me," I say and can't help but smiling.
"Alright," he says and gives me another hug. I smile and get into the car and he walks away.
Lily and I get to our house around midnight. I start making my way downstairs but Lily stays upstairs.
"Aren't you going to sleep? I thought you had to work tomorrow," I say.
"No, James said that he has a surprise for me," she says and walks into the kitchen.
"Oh, okay. See you in the morning," I say and make my way downstairs. I change into some pajama shorts and throw my hair into a bun. I'm asleep before my head even hits the pillow.
The next morning I wake up and check my phone. Dylan, my boyfriend, texted me 3 times and called me twice. I sigh and check them.
D: Why didn't you answer me!
D: Where the hell are you!
D: CALL ME!
I sigh again and then realize that I have a text from someone named 'Guess who? ;)'
Guess who? ;): Have you figured it out yet? ;)
I smile and text back.
Me: Hm, I'm not sure. Can I have a hint? :)
I get out of my bed and go upstairs. I see Dylan on the couch.
"What are you doing here!" I almost yell.
"It's not like I don't know where your spare key is," he says.
"But this is Lily's house! Not mine!" I say.
"Maybe she should hide her keys better," he says and shrugs.
"Get out!" I almost yell again and point at the door.
"Oh come on babe," he says. "I was just checking if you were okay."
"Well I'm fine!" I retort. Dylan stands and walks over to me. He kisses me roughly and I push him away.
"No! Get out!" I say and try to push him towards the door.
"That was my way of apologizing," he says and winks at me.
"Well I didn't like it," I say and push him towards the door but his 6'5 frame doesn't move an inch.
"Seriously? We've been dating for about a month. How can't you like that?" He asks and smirks.
"Because I'm not a whore," I say and push him towards the door for the third time although it does no good. "Now seriously Dylan, get out!"
"No," he says and pushes me against the wall. He kisses me even rougher. I try to push him away and he just squeezes my shoulders. I whimper in pain. He thinks that I whimper from pleasure and he picks me up in a steel grip. He leads me to his car. I keep trying to get away from him. He opens the door and sets me inside.
"Come on babe. It's been a month, it's time," he says and smirks, shutting the door. He climbs above me and unzips his pants and pulls down my pajama shorts.
"No!" I say and he puts a hand over my mouth.
The next thing I remember is that he picked me up out of his car and stood me up on the sidewalk.
"There you go," he says and smirks. I sprint back inside Lily's house and I lock the door. I watch out the window until he leaves and I collapse on the floor, sobbing.
I cry on the floor for a few hours and when the tears stop flowing, I curl up in a ball and sit there shaking. When it gets around noon, I stand and walk downstairs. I go check and see if Lily is still sleeping. I realize she's not in her bed and I collapse the floor again. A new set of tears starts to come. I shake and sob for hours until it's starting to get dark out. When I hear the doorbell ring I start to crawl up the stairs. I realize there's a note on the table and read it.
Allie. Gone to Chicago with James. Be back soon. –Lil
I collapse onto the floor where I am and start sobbing for the third time that day. I realize someone is hovering over me and they touch my arm.
"No!" I scream and recoil from their touch. I scoot myself away from the person as fast as I can but they keep following me getting closer and closer. They put their arms around me and pick me up. I start to thrash. I hear repeated: "Allie! What's wrong?" and "Allie! Are you okay? Why are you upset?"
I scream, kick, and scratch. I do whatever I have to do to get away. The person sets me on the couch and I go into a fetal position and sob. I shake and start to hyperventilate. I feel the person next to me and I scream, moving away from them as far as I can.
"Allie," the person whispers. I look up because I finally recognize the voice.
"What happened? Are you okay?" the person says. He goes up to try to wipe my tears and I recoil from his hand like it was an electric shock. He puts his hand down and looks at me concerned. I shake my head and feel tears coming.
"Kendall," I manage to croak out and my voice feels scratchy and my throat hurts. He nods and looks at me even more worriedly. I try to smile but I end up letting tears go.
"Stay with me, please," I whisper.
He nods again and he goes to hug me. I involuntarily yelp and flinch. "I'm sorry," he says and his eyes get wide. "What's wrong?" he asks softly.
I shake my head and feel the tears pouring down my face. I go back into fetal position and cry myself until blackness envelops me.
The next morning I wake up on my couch balled up in the corner, still in fetal position. All of the events from the other day overcome me and rush over me like a wave. I start to hyperventilate again and I realize that Kendall isn't here. I slowly gain my breath back and stand slowly. Gripping the wall, I slowly make my way to the kitchen. I see Kendall there, sitting on his iPhone playing Angry Birds. I try to smile but accidentally end up making sort of a whimper and he turns to look at me. He stands quickly and starts walking towards me. He pulls me into a bear hug and I feel tears running down my cheeks. I automatically try to fight is grip and I end up hyperventilating again. He lets me go and grabs my shoulders. He lowers himself down to my height. I fight the urge to recoil and I slowly back away. He drops his hands but comes near me.
"Allie, what happened?" he asks softly, almost melodically.
"I-I..." I pause and wrap my arms around myself. "Dylan," I whisper and he looks at me confused.
"Who's that?" he asks.
"My boyfri-" I stop and look at him. "Ex," I whisper.
"Did you guys break up?" he asks concerned.
All I can do is nod and I feel myself swaying on my feet. Kendall grabs a chair and puts it underneath me right when I fall backwards. I wipe the tears on my face when I realize I'm stable.
"Did you love him?" he asks with a hint of jealousy in his tone. I shake my head and bring my knees up to my chest.
"Did he hurt you?" he asks even more worried than yesterday. I burst out into a fresh set of tears and I feel myself shaking again.
"Oh my god, what did he do? Did he hit you? Did he hurt your feelings?" he asks and bends down to get on eye level. I shake my head no and notice that I'm starting to hyperventilate again.
"Did he try to force you to do something?" he asks even more concerned than before. I let the sobs wrack through my body and I have to hold onto the table so I don't fall off of the chair.
"Did he... rape you?" he whispers, barely audible. I nod just barely and Kendall stands up straight. I look up to see his face. It's a mixture of anger, worry, confusion and sympathy. He bends down to look at me eye level again and he puts a hand on my arm. I flinch and he quickly removes it and his face fills with worry.
"I'm so so so sorry Allie. I didn't know," he whispers. I look down and try to control my shaking.
I see Kendall sit down on the chair across from me and notice that he's trembling and he puts his face in his hands. I do the same and let the sobs come again.
"Why would anyone do that to you?" Kendall says, and I can tell he's furious. I don't answer and he slams a hand down on the table. I jump.
"Sorry, maybe I should go... This isn't a good time for you..." he says.
"No!" I almost beg. "Please don't go, I can't be alone," I whisper. He looks at me with pleading eyes.
"Why would he do that to you? Who is that sick minded?" he says. I bite my lip to hold back tears then I hear my stomach growl.
"Allie, when was the last time you ate?" Kendall asks worried again.
"Friday morning…" I say softly and look down.
"It's Sunday!" he exclaims. I flinch at how loud his voice was. "I'll make you something," he says softly and sets off towards the fridge. He makes spaghetti and I just pick at it. I can't even bear the thought of eating. My hands shake when I hold the fork and Kendall notices.
"I'll put the rest in the fridge..." he says slowly. I nod in response. We sit quietly in our thoughts for a while when I cringe. I drop my fork and I gasp.
"What if..." I pause and he looks at me with big eyes. "What if I'm pregnant?" I whisper.
Kendall looks at me.
"No," he says and shakes his head. "No," he repeats. "I think you need to shower. Your hair is still curled from the concert," he says and stands.
"I can't be alone," I say quietly and embarrassed.
"Do you want me to stand outside the door?" he asks. I nod and he half smiles. I go downstairs and he follows me into my room. I notice my phone on my bed and I check it. I have 4 missed calls, two from Kendall and the rest from Lily. I have a text from Dylan and two from Kendall. I have three from Lily and one from a number I don't recognize.
D: If you haven't figured out by now, we're done.
I drop my phone back on the bed and go into fetal position. I try to control my breathing but the tears still come. Kendall walks over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. I recoil from him and he takes my phone. His face gets an angry expression on it but softens almost instantly.
"There, deleted," he says softly. When I get my breathing controlled I pick it back up and read Kendall's texts.
Guess who? ;): Hm, it starts with K and rhymes with Wendell. :)
Guess who? ;): Let's hang out! Want to meet up around 4? :)
I flinch and go on to Lily's messages.
Lily: Chicago is AH-MAZE-ING :)
Lily: Allie? Where are you? Why won't you txt me back? I bet your throwing parties ;) Tell Dylan I say hi.
Lily: Okay, getting a little worried. Txt me when you can. I have a weird feeling. Love you sis.
I feel a tear down my cheek and I reply.
Me: I'm home. I broke my charger and had to get a new one, sorry. No, no parties. Girl time for me, Dylan and I broke up.
I quivered as I typed but continued.
Me: Hope you're having fun in Chicago. Tell James I say hi. Love you too.
I look up and Kendall knows sees how hurt I am. He puts a hand on my shoulder and I wince.
"Sorry," he mumbles. I grab my clothes and go into the bathroom.
I take the quickest shower of my life, cutting it down to less than two minutes. I get dressed as quickly as possible and I run out of the bathroom door to see if Kendall is still there. I end up bumping into him when I come around the corner and he quickly envelops me into a huge hug. I feel the tears starting to roll down my cheeks and Kendall squeezes me tighter. I feel safer, knowing he stayed with me through the night and with me in my biggest time of need. I wrap my arms around him and he picks me up. I curl up in the smallest ball I can manage and let him hold me.
"Shhh, Allie. Its okay, you're okay. I'm here," Kendall repeats to me and I keep crying. I didn't realize that Kendall had carried me up the stairs and back into the living room. I look up at him and he stares down at me.
"He-he said that it was the time a-and that... that I needed to... to do it," I stammer out, just barely over a whisper. His eyes get wide when he realizes that I'm talking about Dylan.
"I would never do anything like that, you're safe with me, Allie," he reassures me and gathers his arms tighter around me. I end up passing out from exhaustion a few moments later.
I wake up with a gasp and I flinch. I realize I'm in Kendall's arms and he's still holding me. He looks down at me concerned and I burst into tears again.
"Allie, w-what were you dreaming about?" he asks quietly.
"Why?" I whisper back.
"You said... Dylan's name, and then you started thrashing," he paused and took a deep breath. "Then you said 'no' repeatedly and then you said my name..." he trailed off. "Then you gasped and burst into tears," he finishes.
"I-I did?" I whisper and I feel him nod. Suddenly I remember the dream.
"I was in my room," I say slowly. "Then I went upstairs and Dylan was there. I argued with him, a-and," I pause and Kendall wipes a tear off my cheek. "Then I remember Dylan forcing himself on me and forcing me to his car. Then screaming 'no' over and over," my voice cracks and I start full out crying. "And then there was a hazy figure above me… Then there was you," I say and wrap my arms around my legs.
"Is that what happened?" he whispers. I nod barely and feel another wave of exhaustion coming over me.
When I wake up again its morning and Kendall isn't here anymore. I stand quickly and sway on my feet. I see my iPhone lit up next to me and I don't remember bringing it upstairs. I see I have a text from Kendall.
K: Allie, if you're reading this then I'm still gone. I ran home to shower and get new clothes. I'm bringing back some Taco Bell for us, I called Lily. She knows. She's coming home tomorrow. Call her back and I should be back around 9.
I see its 8:15. "Great," I mutter to myself and walk into the kitchen. I open the fridge and grab a water bottle. I chug that and then grab another. When I'm done, I call Lily.
"Oh my god! I'm freaking out; please tell me that you're okay. Please," she begs.
"I'm okay," I say unconfidently.
"I'm never taking off again. I can't believe it. Who did it!" she practically screams on the other end.
I take a deep breath. "Dylan," I say.
"WHAT?" she screams and I hear James in the background trying to soothe her. I let her calm down for about a minute.
"Oh my god Allie. When did this happen?" she whispers.
"Yesterday..." I say slowly.
"And Kendall found you?" she asks.
"Yeah," I mumble and hear a sigh of relief.
"Thank god," she says. "I'll call you later," she says quickly and hangs up. I feel so alone and I get scared again. I quickly go to the couch and open TiVo. I put on a random Big Time Rush episode and hug my knees. It's only 8:23. Kendall walks in the door at 8:52 and he sits down next to me.
"I'm so sorry. I had to shower," he says.
"It's okay, thanks for staying with me," I say softly. He pulls me into a hug and I shudder.
"Do you want me to go?" he asks carefully.
"No, please stay until Lily gets here," I whisper. He holds up the Taco Bell bag.
"Hungry?" he asks. I can't help but smile.
"Here," he says and takes a chicken quesadilla out of the bag. "Eat," he says, but it's more of an order.
I eat most of it but I can't eat all.
"Do you want to get out of here?" Kendall asks.
Thanks for reading! :) It means a lot.