The story of this fanfiction is from That 70s show and the characters used for this is from Steven universe
It was dark in Beach City and Steven left the Crystal Temple to have a sleepover at Connie's house. Peridot and Lapis decide to visit the gems so Peridot can tell them something.
Peridot: Hey, guys, guess what I got.
Amethyst: V.D.?
Peridot: No. *chuckles* A hundred bucks.
Ruby: So money to treat your V.D.?
Peridot: No. White diamond gave me this money. See, my diamond told her that she needed to bleach her whiskers and I was like 'What whiskers?' Which is a total lie, 'cause she's got these honkin' whiskers. But then it made her so happy she gave me a hundred bucks.
Lapis: Uh, no offense, Peridot, but your diamond's not one to talk. I mean-Whoo!
Peridot: Hey! My diamond is a beautiful gem. Apologize.
Ruby: Sorry.
Sapphire: She's nice.
Lapis: Sorry.
Amethyst: Giraffe neck.
Peridot: All right, thank you. Now we gotta go celebrate this hundred bucks. Let's all go out to dinner. Someplace expensive. Someplace nice.
Pearl: Let's go to the Vinear. My new lady love works there.
Sapphire: The pink hair Lady from the party? Have you guys gone out again?
Pearl: No.
Ruby: So, have you guys hung out?
Pearl: No.
Lapis: Talked on the phone?
Peridot: No.
Peridot: Have you had any contact with her at all?
Pearl: No.
Ruby: Do you even know her name?
Pearl: No.
Amethyst: So The Pink Hair Lady is your new lady?
Pearl: Yes.
Amethyst: That's great.
Pearl: Thank you.
The gems got to the Vinear and Pearl looks at the Pink Hair Lady .
Pearl: There she is. Isn't she lovely? She reminds me of that song "Isn't She Lovely?" *sees The Pink Hair Lady walking towards them* Here she comes. Here she comes. Watch me impress her.
Pink Hair Lady: Hey, Pearl.
Pearl: *voice breaking* Hello.
Pink Hair Lady: I just came over to say hi.
Pearl: Hi.
Pink Hair Lady: Hi! Bye. *leaves*
Pearl: *awkwardly* Bye. *relax* Did you see how I played her?
Sapphire: Hey, Peridot, thanks for dinner. It was great.
Amethyst: Yeah, it was delicious.
Peridot: Hey, guys, no need to thank me. I'm happy to do it. *looks around the place* Okay. Everybody ready?
Ruby: Uh, don't you have to pay first?
Peridot: I'm not paying.
Sapphire: What?
Peridot: What, did you think I was paying?
Ruby: Yes. Peridot, we don't have any money. We're just space rocks.
Peridot: You don't need any. Gems, we are on a human thing called "dine and dash" here. Oh, yeah. 'Cause the only thing better than eating lobster is eating lobster and hauling ass. Let's haul ass.
Ruby: Peridot, what the hell are you thinking? You said you'd take care of it!
Peridot: And I took care of it- by planning the "dine and dash."
Sapphire: Peridot, we're not doing it.
Peridot: Why not? Guys, we're making memories here.
Sapphire: Peridot, it's wrong. We might get into trouble.
Peridot: Wrong? Or hilarious?
Ruby: *slaps Peridot's head* Wrong, you dill-hole!
Amethyst: Or hilariously wrong. I like it. But then again, I'm from the underbelly of society, so-
Pearl: Uh, yes, excuse me. Um, would you please send your finest imported beer to The Pink Hair Lady and tell her that when I said "Hi" what I meant was, "I'll take you like a stallion.
The waiter looks at Pearl awkwardly.
Pearl: You got that? Like a stallion?
Lapis: Pearl, stop ordering stuff!
Pearl: Okay, you need to chill out, water witch. Didn't you hear Peridot? The Vineyard is having a dine-and-dash promotion. Everything is free.
Lapis: It's not free, Pearl. "Dine and dash" is when you run out without paying.
Pearl: So it's stealing?
Lapis: *nods her head*
Pearl: This isn't going to help me with Pink Hair Lady, is it?
Lapis: *shakes her head*
Pearl: Excuse me. *whispers to Amethyst*
Amethyst: *gets up, hits Peridot on the head, and walks back to her seat*
Periodt: Hey!
Pearl: That's from me, you son of a bitch.
Later
Lapis: I have never dined and dashed, and I'm not about to start now.
Peridot: Uh, well- Remember when we went to nice restaurants and I told you to wait in the car while I paid? Did you ever wonder why I was running to the car?
Lapis: Oh, my God. I'm a thief!
Amethyst: I think technically you're an accessory.
Ruby: Which should make you happy, because you love accessories. Earrings, bracelets, bangles, bows-
Lapis: Shut up!
Meanwhile Pearl walks to the Pink Hair Lady
Pearl: So, did you enjoy your pilsner? Did you get the message about the stallion?
Pink Hair Lady: Okay, look, okay? You can't send beer to the hostess podium, okay? I almost got fired. So just pretend you don't know me, okay?!
Pearl: I don't think I do know you, Pink Hair Lady. Not even your name.
The Pink Hair Lady looks back at Pearl, rolls her eyes, and walks away.
Pearl: Pink hair girl has upset me. I can't wait to dine and dash on her ass. her beautiful ass.
Meanwhile with the gems
Amethyst: I'll go first.
Sapphire: Amethyst, we're not doing this. And especially not you, 'cause you're on probation.
Amethyst: So what?
Ruby: So what? You get caught, you go to jail, and I've heard nothing good about jail.
Amethyst: I haven't done one stinkin' illegal thing since I got probation.
Ruby: So, what, you're mad because you haven't committed any crimes since your last crime?
Amethyst: Yeah, so I'm going.
Amethyst walks to the exit, but everyone start looking at her. The gems look at Amethyst to do something and she starts panicking.
Waiter: Can I help you?
Amethyst looks around and sees a police looking at her, and a waiter winks at her. She looks back at the waiter who asked her a question, and sees her give Amethyst a glare. Then Amethyst immediately walks back to her table and sits down.
Peridot: What happened?
Amethyst: This place is like Alcatraz, man. There's no way out. I'm soft gem. It sickens me.
Ruby: Mm. So you can't do it. I wonder why. Why, oh, why?
Sapphire: Oh! I know why.
Ruby; Yes, my love?
Sapphire: Because it's wrong.
Ruby: THAT'S RIGHT MISS SAPPIHRE! IT'S WRONG!
Peridot: *sarcasm* Gee, what a surprise. Mom and Mom don't want to do it.
Sapphire: We are not Moms! And we're not leaving without paying, young gem!
Peridot: Fine! Fine! I'll pay for the stupid dinner! Now just give me your stupid keys so I can get my money out of your stupid car! Stupid!
Later
Pearl: I don't care if you're in the freaking Olympics about to run the freaking hundred-yard dash! If someone sends you a beer, you say thank you and drink the freaking beer!
Sapphire: Um, Ruby? Did Peridot leave her money at home? 'Cause she just drove away in the Vista Cruiser.
Ruby: What? No. No, she wouldn't ditch us.
Sapphire: Are you sure? 'Cause as she drove past she was doing this. *does rock and roll expression on her face*
Ruby: No. Sapphire, she's kidding. She wouldn't ditch us.
Later
Ruby: She ditched us!
Pearl: I'm sure she's right outside. I'll go get her.
Sapphire: Pearl, I don't know.
Pearl: Don't worry. I'll go and get the money and come back. You can trust me.
Later
Sapphire: She's not coming back!
Ruby: And we trusted her!
Lapis: Peridots lie. You know what? I'm just gonna call Steven and Greg, and they'll come pay for our dinner.
Ruby: Okay, but, Lapis if you don't come back-
Lapis: Ruby, please. I'm not immature like those idiots.
Later
Sapphire: She is immature like those idiots!
Amethyst: I can't believe I got stuck here with the mom squad.
Sapphire: We're not Moms Amethyst!
Ruby: Sapphire, settle down. You don't want to upset your stomach.
Amethyst: This is bad, man. If I'm not fighting against the system, I am the system. Screw it. I'm going. *deep breaths* Banzai! *runs out*
Later
Manager: Okay, I can take the check now. Or whenever or now.
Ruby: Uh- Two more bananas Foster, please.
Sapphire: Ruby, what are you doing?
Ruby: I'm stalling. They'll come back. Joke's over, you know? *looks worry*
Later at the Big Donut
Amethyst: Best thing about this joke, it just keeps going and going. *laughs* And not only did we break the law we screwed our friends while breaking the law.
Peridot: How dumb was she to give me the car keys? I mean, who here trusts me?
Amethyst: No way.
Lapis: Not me.
Peridot: Thank you.
Lapis: You know what? Stolen food just tastes better. *holds up a doughnut* Doughnuts?
Pearl: Guys, I feel bad about Ruby and Sapphire. Maybe we should figure out a way to help them.
Amethyst: Sure, we could do that. Or we could ask ourselves, "How can we make this worse?"
Meanwhile with Ruby and Sapphire
Everyone: Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary Sapphire and Ruby.
Manager: With best wishes from Amethyst, Peridot, Pearl and Lapis. *puts the cake down on the table*
Later
Ruby: Man, I can't believe those guys screwed us like this.
Sapphire: Well, at least we still have each other.
Ruby: You know what? You're right. I can't count on much in this crazy world, but I can always count on you.
Sapphire: That is so true. I have to go to the bathroom. *gets up*
Ruby: Okay- Hey! *grabs her hand and makes her sit down* Why don't you just sit your lying ass down?
Sapphire: Ruby, don't you trust me?
Ruby: *chuckling* Not as far as I can throw you, and that ain't far!
Sapphire: How can you say that? Okay, so I noticed the fire exit was next to the bathroom. Doesn't mean I'd use it. I happened to notice it, that's all. It's very convenient.
Ruby: Sapphire, don't you see what's happening? They've turned us against each other.
Sapphire: You're right. I was gonna use the fire exit. I was!
Ruby: You know why they do this? Because they know we won't get them back. We're responsible, mature Mothers. We won't stoop to their level.
Sapphire: Well, damn it, let's stoop to their level or an even lower level.
Ruby: Yeah. Oh, I'm with you, baby, yeah. There's just one problem. We can't do it from in here.
They got off their seats and looked at the door.
Ruby: If I don't make it tell Steven I'm sorry.
Sapphire: Don't talk like that. We'll tell him our self.
They fused into Garnet and swiftly dodged the waiters and head straight outside.
The next day at The Crystal Temple the gems and Steven are watching TV and Ruby and Sapphire walks in the house.
Ruby: Okay, you guys. Okay. Good one last night. You know, ditching us at the restaurant and everything.
Peridot: Yeah, we got you so bad.
Sapphire: *sarcasm* You really did. We laughed and laughed. *smiles sweetly* To show you guys we're such good sports we made you guys a batch of special brownies. *puts the brownies down on the table*
Amethyst: Special brownies? Like the special kind of special?
Sapphire: The best kind of special.
All the gems except for Pearl grabs one. Steven was about to grab one but Ruby stops him.
Steven: Why can't I have one?
Sapphire: *whispers to Steven about the plan*
Steven: Okay.
Amethyst grabs the last brownie and shoves it into Pearls mouth.
Pearl: AMETHYST! Now I have to used the bathroom thanks to you!
Five minutes later
Amethyst: Something's wrong. I don't feel special.
Lapis: Me neither.
Pearl: Yeah, I don't think those were special brownies, Ruby.
Ruby: *grins evilly* Oh, no, no. They're special. Say, Sapphire, do you have any more of that special ingredient we used?
Sapphire: Well, I certainly do, Ruby. *pulls out a box from her hair* Chocolate Super-Lax.
Steven: Oh no.
Peridot: You didn't.
Ruby: We did.
Sapphire: We so did. Now maybe you'll think twice before screwing us. *throws the box at Peridot's head*
Amethyst: Well, nice try, 'cause I don't feel any- *sharp groan*
Lapis: groaning*
Pearl:*groaning*
Peridot: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Lapis, Peridot, and Amethyst tried to get up but ends up falling to the ground screaming from the pain. Lapis kicks Peridot's leg and throws a box at Amethyst but misses. Peridot curls up in a ball from the pain, while Steven is surprised of what's happening.
Pearl: Oh, no. I am last.
The Pink Hair Lady breaks down the door, runs up to Pearl, and stands in front of her.
Pearl: Ay, no!
Pink Hair Lady: I know. You're surprised to see me, right? And upset.
Pearl: Yes, many things are upset. *groans*
Pink Hair Lady: Okay, listen. Okay, listen Pearl. About last night- I know you were angry, and you have every right to be. But you know what this was? Our first fight. Oh! And it made us a real couple- if you can forgive me.
While The Pink Hair Lady was explaining things Pearl is still suffering from the pain.
Pearl: Fine. Move out of the away.
Pink Hair Lady: So we're okay? Good. Now let's make up like a real couple.
Pearl: *groaning and looks at Ruby and Sapphire* You bastards! *runs to the bathroom*
Pink Hair Lady: Wait, Pearl! Wait up! *runs after Pearl*
Later that day
Amethyst: Okay, you guys. That was a wicked burn. It had all the elements, you didn't see it coming, parts of it really hurt. *chuckling*
Ruby: Well, Amethyst, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Amethyst: Oh, I did. *grabs the last brownie that she forgot it has chocolate super-lax* I got my eye on you two. You're not gonna burn me like that again.
Sapphire: I love our family.
Ruby: Me too.