A/N: I do realize that the seventh book is complete and published, but I thought it would be neat to write about what Harry would say to J.K. if he got the chance. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review it when you are done. Even if it's just one word (good, bad, awful, brilliant, etc.).

Dear J.K. Rowling,

I would first off just like to say that I am truly honored to be the main character in your book series.

However, I think there are a few things that need to be addressed before the seventh book is published.

The first issue I would like to address is my death. Well the issue is really whether or not I do die.

Please don't kill me off! Really, I can have a life after, I promise! I'll get a…a desk job! It would be so wonderfully boring that no future author would be tempted to pick up on my story.

And now about my, well, my romantic life. Now I know that I broke things off with Ginny in the last book, but we're obviously still in love. I would so appreciate it if you could just get us back together and possibly refrain from killing her off.

Ron and Hermione are, at this very moment, bugging me terribly to say that they would much not prefer to die either. Honestly, how could you break up the golden trio? There has got to be a prophecy or something you can make up that says we have to be together always. I would not be able to have a fun moment if Ron wasn't around. I would get half of what I get done done if Hermione wasn't with me. We were strangers to each other until we were eleven, and now we're family. That's got to count for something, doesn't it?

Speaking of Ron and Hermione, will you please just get them together already? Seriously, there is way to much tension between them. And if you're not getting them together, stop writing about the possibility! Either way it ends up a pretty raw deal for me, so I would appreciate it of you would get that plot line out of the way.

If you do decide to go ahead and kill me off, at least give the honor and satisfaction of finishing off Voldemort first. I need to. There is no way you could possibly end this seven book series with me, the hero, dying and evil ultimately triumphing.

By the way, Ron got a whole lot of snogging in the last book and I know that I'll be busy looking for horcruxes and everything, but I would very much appreciate it if you would give me a bit more snogging in this book. I'm beginning to feel like I need to visit the fan fictions, which is a scary thought.

Now, let's move on to Snape. Just please make him evil! Do it so I don't end up being the one who has been wrong about him the entire series and he's actually good. Ugh, that thought makes me shudder. That greasy git practically reeks of evil, and if he doesn't reek of evil, I'd write in some bit about him beginning to use proper soap and shampoo in this book. And it would be great if I could finish him off, too.

Okay, last request. Neville should…no, Neville needs to torture Bellatrix Lestrange to insanity (not that she could be considered sane now.) It would be so perfect.

I would now like to address some character deaths now. Why did you kill off Dumbledore? He didn't need to die. Beside the fact that his wisdom and power would have been an enormous help, he was like a father to me. No one had ever cared for me the way he did. He loved me and I loved him. He did not need to die.

Now to Sirius, yet another father figure you killed. He was the closest person to my real father that I had, and you took him away too. It actually wouldn't really surprise me if you took Ron and Hermione away from me too. It would complete your tragedy; my tragedy, really. The horrible tragedy of Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived but had everyone he loved taken away from him.

I don't really expect you to take my advice, seeing as you've had the end planned out since you started my adventure those many years ago. I just thought I'd share some of my feelings with you.

Always Yours,

Harry James Potter