A/n: So, a quick note before you read this. If you've already read the fic of mine called Rescue Me, then read on I hope you enjoy. But if not, this is a prequel type thing about Mathias's past trauma and his motivations for bothering Lukas. So I'd recommend reading that first. After that, feel free to read! There is implied mention of abuse in this. No descriptions really though. So hopefully no triggering material here. Thanks for reading and I will upload the next few chapters soon. :3 ~Hetaliancupcake
~I Was Rescued~
{Chapter One}
She was my first love. But she wasn't my soulmate. At the time I might of thought so. But she had so many problems, and she wouldn't change. Yet I continued to stay, hoping someone, anyone would pull me out of the toxic quicksand. But for a while, I wasn't sure rescue was ever coming, and I had given up on saving myself. I had believed I was incapable of saving myself. Because I really did love her.
Even when she left me with scars.
Emotional ones mostly.
She wasn't crazy, as much as I screamed that at her. She was mentally ill. And she refused her own rescue dragging me down into the sand with her.
In the beginning, just when I thought I'd gotten out, she pulled on my leg, and back in again I fell.
((()))
I sighed pulling on my coat. We had met at college, me and Nora. She seemed so kind back then, but lately all I got was blank stares, and volatile screams.
"Where are y-you going?" Her voice came, pitiful and almost scared.
"Out." I answered curtly. I just needed to get away. Her saccharine shtick was starting to drive me nuts. And especially since I wasn't even sure you could call it that. It was sincere, but it could change in a moment.
Her hand gently wrapped around my arm.
"I am s-so sorry. Promise me you won't leave and never come back. I can't lose you like I'm losing myself." I should've asked why she wouldn't seek help, but instead I felt a twinge of pain strike my heart and a sigh escape my lips. She had reeled me back into our apartment.
After college we had moved in together, she was so perfect. I thought I knew everything about my honey. But I had barely scratched under the surface. I love her. I love her even now. But I had to leave.
((()))
"Fine! Leave then, asshole! All you do is eat fucking food, and write about it! What fucking life is that anyway?! I don't need you, I'm not crazy, and I have no reason to seek help. You need help. You're the one who's crazy!" Nora screeched.
I had just come back from work. I had asked her how her day went. She had told me she was fired for an outburst. That a fellow employee had called her crazy. All I did was sigh, and she lunged at my throat with her claws. I had been with her for a year, and she had already broken my heart again. When she promised she was sorry, I believed her again and again. Tonight was worse than most.
"Nora, clam down, please! I love you, If I upset you I'm sorry. Please calm down."
"NO! You are calling me crazy too, aren't you?"
"No, honey I didn't say that, i-it's just that you are screaming, you need to calm down. "
*whapshh*
She had smacked me. She was the angriest I've probably seen her. Flames might as well have been spewing out her fingertips. I held my cheek as she stepped back.
"D-do you wanna know why I was upset at work, you asshole? You're cheating on me, you worthless shit. I know you are! I found these, and they sure as hell aren't mine!" She held up a pair of underwear she had bought just last week. I breathed heavily, unsure whether to scream or cry. She always was so accusing. But this...
"Honey," I began gingerly, "I swear I'm not. You bought those last week, those are yours!" Her eyes widened and she let out an angry sob.
"Stop it! Stop trying to trick me, I would know that these are mine! You're so horrible, how could you do this to me? How..." She punched me a couple times really hard in the chest and then slumped down against the wall crying. I stayed silent a moment feeling his stomach for bruising. I didn't know what to do. I couldnt fix her short term memory loss. Or her extreme paranoia. There were people for that, and I wasn't one of them.
"Nora, I promise... if you just talk with a doctor about treatment, or see a therapist I'm sure we can get through this." I paused and walked past her. "You can't keep accusing me and then expect me to stay here. I just want you to feel better." Her sobs grew quiet for a moment as she yelled.
"I'd be fine if it weren't for you! You're ruining my life! I loved you!" Loved. My heart shattered, scattering over the apartment floor at that moment. I went upstairs and locked myself in our bedroom. I calmly began packing my stuff. I'd go to Tino's where I could calm down. I tried hard to hold back my pained sobs. I opened the door and she stood there wiping her tears.
She looked to my bag and then grabbed my arm gently.
"Please, don't leave me. Don't go. I'm sorry... I love you. I need you." Her look was pitiful and she meant it, I knew that.
I cupped her cheeks in my hands and took a shaky breath.
"Nora. You need some space. I need to cool off too. I'm going to stay at Tino's place for a while. Think about what you want in life. Think about helping yourself. Trying to help you is killing me, killing us. Think about seeing someone. When you decide to, call me. I'll be there in a heartbeat." I planted a kiss on her nose, as tears fell from her eyes.
She let go of my arm with a sad, and empty look. I left and I didn't look back. I felt so... numb.