Disclaimer: all rights belong to Joss Whedon… sadly.
If you look long enough into the black, it looks back. The circle of never-ending never-ending…ness, it's enough to drive just about anyone insane. But not them…not him. He'd travelled too long, on board this one vessel, staring out into the black, into space and beyond, that all he felt was peace.
The adrenalin of flight, of firing the engines into the deep beyond was ever present, but through it all he was infused with the peace that the black gave him – like staring out into the sea, only much, much bigger. It was like being wrapped in the biggest blanket in the 'verse, all snugly and warm and safe. Until they were attacked, but that was irrelevant, wasn't it?
The Captain had a routine to keep him safe – take a job, get to job, mess job up, rescue, get paid. Simple, easy, with little fuss. Jayne had his 'toys', River her voices, her brother, Kaylee had the ship, the fixing, sorting…everyone had something. And he had the black, the dark expanse of universe before him. He had what he needed, to keep himself in check…he could be happy with what he had.
Because even in the black there were planets, stars, suns glittering like…well, glitter. Shiny things, islands in the black, constantly turning, brimming with life, escape, the promise of something…more. A more he could get to anytime, only days, minutes, seconds away if he needed it. Life dancing in the divide just within reach, if necessary. To remind him of home, to remind him of the losses and gains, to remind him of his humanity. Because that's what the planets were for…a reminder, of whatever someone needed reminding of.
They had everything he needed right here, if one ignored a craving for ice planets, they had everything. And more than that, he had the one thing that tied him to everyone in the entire 'verse – the black. He always had the black.
He guessed he was the only person who thought the black was snugly and warm, after all Reavers and the Alliance (not dissimilar factions, really) hid in its depths, but why worry till you could see 'em. After all, it aint like he had no means of escape – he had the ship, his home in space, complete with a family who loved him more than his ever did…even if some of 'em were a little on the crazy side. He had more than most people, more than he had a right to, but it wouldn't be enough. Not without the jobs and threats and rescues. Not without the people, not without being needed, which he was, and not without love. Because that's what makes his ship fly smooth – love.
People dealt with the black in different ways, though many were bound by the same emotion – fear. Fear of what was out there, what could happen within it. Fear caused by inbred tales of ignorance, but he knew the truth. You were at no less risk on a planet than amongst the stars…and he, he'd take the stars and the floating and the beauty of the stars any day above the mediocrity and noise and dirt of the land. Land held little adventure, little beauty, afforded little freedom. It was a place to be used only for jobs and repairs, not for living. Because living meant something more than day after boring day in the noise and muck of too many people and too little space…it meant fun and laughter and friends – real friends, the type that last. It meant happiness, and that was something he'd never gotten from solid land. Land constrained and smothered, it choked and bled people till there was nothing left. And on land, you couldn't see the black. And that was what he'd been made for – the climate he was destined to live in. To hell with everything else, all he needed was what was on this ship, and the black.
And he knew that he'd always have the black, up till and after the day he died. That was what would happen to him, he thought. He'd go off into the black, wrap itself in its presence and just be. Of course with the jobs they took, that day loomed ever over his head, ever edging closer. But that was just another part of the fun. Another rush, another adventure. Though he hoped it was one he wouldn't embark on for a good many years. Because god knows he needed the adrenalin to balance the peace.
As the Captain once said, they were on the corner of No and Where. And that was the way he liked it.
Everyone else could look at it with fear, but for Wash, the black was just shiny.