Author's Note: So... I wrote a thing! I haven't written fanfiction in ages, but I recently finished the first season of Orphan Black and I'm addicted. Like, it's really bad. I haven't been this obsessed with a show in a long time. Anyway, the Cosima/Delphine relationship is definitely one of my favourite aspects of the show, so I figured I'd stretch my creative muscles and write a piece about the two lovely ladies. I got anxious waiting for season two and this is what came to be. To be warned, there is quite a bit of smut involved, but there's also a little bit of plot (the intention was to kind of bridge the gap between the end of season one and where I would like to see season two take off). It's also pretty long, but I personally prefer a longer piece all at once then having to wait for the writer to release more chapters. There will probably be a sequel, but I'm not entirely sure yet; I'm busy with finals at the moment, so if there is a sequel, it's gonna take me a little while. I tried my best with the French, but I'm a bad Canadian and I'm afraid I'm not too fluent, so please don't crucify me if any of it is wrong. Anyway, I'm interested to know what you all think! Please let me know, as writing is something that I've recently gotten back into and would love to pursue more seriously. Cheers! :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am a poor university student trying to kill some time while I wait for season two. Please don't come after me!
"I'm sick, Delphine."
She hadn't meant to say it.
She'd been so careful to conceal it from Felix earlier and the thought of telling her sisters hadn't even crossed her mind. Alison was finally starting to piece her family back together and Sarah... well, she was fighting to hold on to hers. The last thing either of them needed to hear was that whatever disease that seemed to be afflicting them had finally grabbed hold of her.
There would be panic.
Worse than that, there would be pity.
She couldn't stand the thought of either.
She would obviously have to tell them both eventually, seeing as how her symptoms would be impossible to hide as the illness progressed, not to mention the fact that they both had a right to know about their own biology; they were also at risk. But for now, this would be her burden and hers alone.
"I'm sick, Delphine."
She hadn't meant to say it and yet somehow, the words flowed from her mouth like the blood that lined her lungs. She was uncertain if she confided in the blonde because she trusted her, or because she just needed to verbalize it, to accept it, so that she could face the oncoming horror that awaited her.
Now this was real.
No more hiding behind "nothing" or "I'm fine."
As if on cue, Delphine pulled her into a tight embrace and she allowed herself to sink into her confidant's body, temporarily losing herself in the warmth as she cried into the French woman's shoulder. They both sat there in silence, aside from muted sniffles, wrapped in each other. Cosima's eyes were sealed shut, tears searing a trail down her cheeks. The blonde's were wide with horror, attempting to quietly process the bomb that her lover had dropped. After a few moments of welcomed reprieve, Cosima broke away from the hug, wiping her eyes and nose with the sleeve of her sweater.
"Sorry," she mumbled, staring down at her fidgeting hands. "Didn't mean to snot into your shoulder."
"Cosima."
The brunette looked up in acknowledgement, waiting expectantly for Delphine to speak. The taller woman opened her mouth, but instead of words came more silence. At a loss, she closed her mouth again and reached out, bringing a hand to the side of Cosima's face, gently stroking her cheek. Cosima closed her eyes and sighed, leaning into Delphine's hand and reveling in the contact for a few moments before they were interrupted by the front door opening loudly and suddenly. Their attention shot to Felix, who came strutting through it.
"Oh. She's still here," he remarked, giving Delphine a once over.
Delphine squirmed on the couch, Felix's hostility making her uncomfortable and small. Noticing this, Cosima quickly tried to diffuse the situation. The last thing she needed right now was two of her supposed allies at each other's throats.
"Have you heard from Sarah?" she asked, standing up and leaving Delphine sitting awkwardly on the couch.
She approached Felix, who was positioned safely behind the counter, scrounging to find a clean wine glass and pour himself a drink. When he heard her raspy voice, he stopped what he was doing and looked over at her, squinting his eyes as if to take her in.
"Are you okay?"
He wasn't an idiot.
Even though he was fortunate enough not to have to deal with the woes of a girlfriend or womanhood in general, he had grown up with Sarah. He'd gotten good at detecting even the slightest trace of disturbance in his foster sister; he'd always known when she had been crying, or when she had been upset about something. Sarah's pokerface was solid, but he always found the crack in it, ever since they were children. As he stared at the dreadlocked girl before him, all of those years came back to him and Sarah's broken face gazed back, only it didn't belong to Sarah this time.
"Yeah. I-I'm fine," she lied. "It's just... I managed to decode my genome. You know, the one that Leekie gave me? Turns out the bastards patented us."
Of course, this was only a small part of her current state of distress, but she withheld the rest from him. Delphine said nothing to betray her covertness, simply staring at the shorter woman from across the room, a look of concern written plainly on her face.
"What? Can they even do that?" Felix asked incredulously.
Cosima wasn't entirely sure herself, but before she could even begin to explain, he cut her off, fearing a possible tangent on the horizon.
"Forget it. How did our sister take the news?"
"Well, she was pissed. Then she hung up. She was on her way to make a deal with that Rachel chick, but I don't know what went down. Maybe you should call her? She's probably tired of hearing my voice," Cosima suggested.
"Right. Better make sure your freaky friends didn't snatch her up," he spat, his voice thick with venom and directed at Delphine, who released a defeated sigh.
"Look, Delphine's trying to make things right. She helped me decode my genome. She's on our side," Cosima came to her rescue.
"Oh, God. Please don't tell me that you two are still shagging each other. Did you shag in my bed?" he asked.
"God, no-"
"She's a narc, Cos. You can't trust a narc. Before you know it, she'll have to tied down to a table like a-"
"I would never hurt Cosima!" Delphine finally burst, shooting up into a standing position.
This caught the other two off guard. She approached them, stopping next to Cosima and staring defiantly into Felix's eyes. If he wanted to be angry at her, that was fine, but she wouldn't stand there and have him accuse her of hurting the very person she'd sworn to watch over.
"Yeah. You would never hurt Cosima," he retorted. "But you'd shag her like some cheap whore and break her heart, all for a few names. I hustle for a living and even I wouldn't do that."
His remark seemed to cut deeply and Delphine lowered her head, staring at her feet. There was nothing she could say because he was right. She had used Cosima. She had betrayed her trust and used their relationship to placate Leekie. She felt just as guilty about it now as she did when she lay in Cosima's bed, lying about the guilty tears she was too weak to conceal.
"Felix, just stop!" Cosima snapped, on the verge of tears herself.
She hadn't meant to get emotional, but the revelation that she was someone's property along with the fact that she was most likely dying had worn her down. All barriers were gone now and Felix was quick to pick up on this. He knew his words were justified, but seeing Cosima in such a state forced him to withhold further accusations.
"Sorry," he muttered in Delphine's direction.
She nodded silently, accepting the truce.
"Look, we're going to go," Cosima said.
She looked to Delphine in a questioning manner and was met with an understanding half-smile. The blonde quickly gathered up their belongings, handing Cosima her coat and bag and waiting for her in the doorway. Cosima slipped her arms into the scarlet coat and Felix briefly flicked his hand in a gesture of goodbye.
"Just... call Sarah for me, will you? Make sure she's okay."
.
.
The cab ride back to the hotel was silent.
Delphine had offered to take another cab back to her own hotel, but the brunette simply shook her head, quietly insisting that they ride together. She didn't see much point, since they were heading in the same direction anyway. That was the logical reason. Of course, her main motivation being simply that she was scared to be alone, so they rode together in a quiet understanding, the blonde snaking her hand across the leather gap between them, resting it atop Cosima's as the unsuspecting cabby weaved in and out of downtown traffic. She peered down at Delphine's hand on top of her own and a very brief, weak smile flashed across her face before she went back to peering out the window.
They rode together in the elevator, getting off at the eighth floor. Cosima led them down the hallway with her measured steps before they finally reached her room. She grabbed the card key out of her coat pocket and slid it through the slot. The light on the handle flashed green and she pushed it open.
"Are you sure?" Delphine asked. "I don't want to impose."
"It's fine, Delphine."
"If you wanted me to leave, I'd understand."
"I said it's fine. I'm fine."
She stopped, catching herself in her own lie and laughing at the irony of her statement.
"Okay, I guess I'm not really fine, but-"
"Cosima."
"Would you just come inside? You're already here."
Delphine nodded and followed her inside, closing the door behind her. She threw her coat on top of Cosima's, which she had draped over the singular chair that occupied the room, then removed her boots and placed them next to Cosima's, as well. She was finally about to speak when Cosima quickly darted into the bathroom, halting any conversation that may have taken place.
Delphine furrowed her brow in confusion, questioning Cosima's urgency. She quickly concluded what was going on when she could hear the shorter girl trapped in a coughing fit and her face softened, a look of woe replacing confusion. She clamped her eyes shut hard and released a silent sigh, composing herself before she hesitantly followed suit. She entered the bathroom and found Cosima hunched over the sink, coughing up splatters of blood onto pristine white porcelain.
"Mon dieu."
She immediately regretted her words as they fell from her lips. She hadn't meant to say them out loud, but somehow her internal voice externalized itself. She just couldn't contain her shock and horror.
"Not God," Cosima corrected, finally catching her breath while still hunched over the sink. "Biology."
She wiped the blood from her lips with the back of her hand and stood up straight, staring at herself in the mirror. Her gaze was dark and intense and she stared into her own eyes, searching. She wasn't sure what she was looking for.
Anything, really.
Where was the flaw? The weakness? Would it manifest itself if she stared long and hard enough? Would she recognize it? Could she fix it? After a moment of quiet contemplation, she broke her own gaze, her eyes wandering slightly to spy Delphine in the mirror, standing just behind her with the same concerned and sorrowful expression on her face since she had heard the news of Cosima's fate.
"I'm sorry," Delphine said, her eyes glossy and voice barely above a whisper.
Cosima arched a brow, still staring at the blonde through the mirror.
"What for? It's not your fault I'm sick, Delphine."
"Cosima."
There it was again.
The only thing she seemed to be able to say.
Cosima.
324B21.
That was how she had originally come to know the spectacled girl, on a sheet of paper.
324B21.
There were many times when she would repeat that sequence, usually right before she went to bed. She thought it might make her task easier somehow. She didn't initially find the idea of being a monitor so morally compromising, but as soon as that charming, eccentric girl came wandering down that hallway to hand her her "forgotten" transcript, that immediately changed. And when they were running hand-in-hand through the quad with bottles of stolen wine, the change became painful. And when 324B21 had first pressed her lips against hers, the change became unbearable.
Now she was just Cosima.
"Cosima."
It was as if she was making up for lost time, familiarizing herself with the name that now occupied her every thought. The brunette finally turned around, but her eyes remained fixated on the floor. She couldn't bring herself to stare into Delphine's eyes. The thought of what she might find there terrified her. It was suffocating, even more so than her hacking fits.
"Cosima, look at me."
She looked up, her eyes settling on the French woman's lips.
"We'll figure this out. Je promets."
"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep, Delphine," she retorted, her eyes returning to the floor, yet again.
As if to reinforce her previous point, Delphine reached out, catching the dreadlocked woman's chin and forcing it up so that their eyes finally met. There was a brief respite, both women searching each other. Cosima couldn't remember another point in her life when she had felt this vulnerable; maybe when she had broken down in tears right after the blonde had left her apartment once her betrayal had been revealed. But right now, all of that seemed so far away and unimportant, considering everything that had unfolded in the last twenty-four hours.
Cosima carefully observed a sudden transformation in Delphine's eyes, once sorrowful and apologetic, now blazing with intensity. Before she had time to react, the blonde's lips came crashing down on her own and she felt her lips parting to greet them out of habit.
After a second of initial surprise, Cosima's hands slowly drifted down and found their place on Delphine's waist. The blonde cupped Cosima's face with both hands, holding her firmly in place and deepening their kiss. She'd spent the better part of the night trying to figure out just what to say to her cloned paramour, thinking of what words she could conjure up to try and make things better. When the two of them finally locked eyes and drank each other in, all the hurt and fear and exhaustion apparent, she found that words were not what she was looking for at all. All she could think to do was quell these emotions, to replace them with something else.
Their lips continued to tangle as Delphine slowly backed Cosima into the sink, the brunette's mouth opening even further to release a gasp as her back made contact with porcelain. Delphine took advantage of this, sliding her tongue further into the smaller girl's mouth, the action quickly reciprocated. There was the faint taste of blood, but this didn't deter either of them. She reached for the hem of Cosima's sweater, who lifted her arms up in compliance. In one, swift movement, the sweater lay discarded on the tile floor.
The pale woman's eyes drifted slightly south to absorb newly exposed flesh, taking in as much detail as she could, committing the clone's body to memory; her toned stomach that went taut as gentle fingers brushed against it, the curvature of her breasts concealed behind black lace, heaving as fingers continue their ascent up the ribcage, stopping to cup the perfect mounds through unwanted fabric. After pausing momentarily, her hands continued their journey, sliding up the column of Cosima's neck, tracing her jaw line with a slender finger, then gliding round to the back of the brunette's skull, pulling her head closer until their foreheads pressed together. Both their eyes clamped shut as they panted heavily, Cosima more so than usual. They took a moment to simply breathe each other in before Delphine opened her eyes once again.
"Cosima."
The brunette licked her lips, forcing her own eyes open.
"Yeah?" she mumbled in a trance.
She hadn't been expecting Delphine's sudden onslaught and while she knew that this was probably a bad idea, that they were probably moving way too fast and still had a lot to talk about, she decided, for once in her life, to stop thinking. The only thought in her head was concerning the heat she could feel building in the pit of her stomach, the heat that only grew each time Delphine whispered her name. There was something about the way the French woman said it; a word that seemed foreign to her lips and yet, a word she managed to make her own.
"Venir au lit."
"Huh?" Cosima asked, blinking rapidly.
While she could pick up on common phrases, her French wasn't exactly the greatest. Delphine just smiled lazily, grabbing her hand and leading her back out to the bedroom. They stopped at the foot of the bed, Delphine peeling her shirt off and tossing it to the side somewhere. Cosima found herself unable to control her wandering eyes, standing there in silent appreciation of the slender woman's body.
"I said..." Delphine began, gently nudging the brunette so that she fell backwards onto the bed.
As soon as Cosima hit the mattress, she crawled back toward the headboard, making room for Delphine to advance. The French woman crawled closer, like a lioness stalking her prey, positioning herself on top of Cosima. She pinned Cosima's head between her arms, hovering over top of her, then brought her head down over the tattooed girl's so that their mouths were just barely touching, her hot breath tickling and enticing Cosima's lips which parted in anticipation.
"Come to bed."
"Oh."
Their lips met once again and Cosima sighed, her body relaxing and sinking further into the bed. Delphine was pressed firmly against her now, her knee nestled between Cosima's legs, only contributing to the wetness that was quickly beginning to pool. They spent a long while lying there like that, exploring each other's mouths like teenagers in heat. Cosima had never been kissed like this before. She wasn't sure if it was because the other woman was French, or maybe she just had a lot of practice, but the movements of her lips and tongue were slow and sensual and deliberate. She kissed with such expertise, Cosima found herself lightheaded and she wasn't sure if it was a symptom of her condition or her lover's perfect mouth; she slowly traced the dreadlocked girl's bottom lip with her tongue before dipping it inside her mouth, Cosima's lips parting wider in compliance. Tongues grazed against each other in gentle, languid strokes and just as Cosima grew used to the motion, the blonde would reclaim her tongue once again, breaking away but never completely, always leaving her lips lightly skimming over Cosima's, as if to tease her and leave her wanting more.
"Delphine," Cosima whispered breathlessly against her lips.
"Oui, ma cherie?"
"Nobody likes a tease."
"You seem to," she quickly retorted, biting her lower lip in an attempt to conceal a playful smile.
Cosima sat up abruptly, forcing Delphine to follow suit. The blonde was now straddled in her lap and Cosima buried her face in her neck, planting kisses along her jugular. Delphine sighed in pleasure, her hands on the back of Cosima's head, holding her close to her body. Cosima's hands found their way to the clasp of Delphine's bra, opening the contraption with a quick flick of her fingers. The French woman couldn't help but be impressed at the American's deft fingers. Sensing her awe, Cosima smirked, then captured the blonde's lips in a quick kiss.
"I've had lots of practice," she explained.
"Je parie."
Mimicking the girl beneath her, Delphine reached around to unhook Cosima's bra, only her fingers weren't nearly as skilled as her lover's. After fiddling with the clasp for a moment, Cosima reached behind to help her.
"I guess I'll have to practice more, too."
"Well, let's hope I'm around long enough for you to get the chance."
"Hush, mon amour."
She brought her index finger to Cosima's lips in an attempt to silence her. Cosima planted a chaste kiss on it before taking the finger in her mouth, sucking lightly and eliciting a moan. Delphine withdrew her finger, forcing the girl onto her back once again.
"We won't speak of such things," she whispered, planting a line of open-mouthed kisses down the column of Cosima's neck.
Cosima moaned and writhed beneath her as she continued her trail, traveling down through the valley of her breasts. When she caught Cosima's left nipple in her mouth, sucking and tugging gently, the American jerked suddenly, feeling a jolt of electricity shoot through her body. Delphine's hand went to the other breast, massaging it gently, rolling the nipple between her fingers as her tongue continued to trace circles around its counterpart.
Their first time had been frenzied; clothes were quickly discarded and hands were everywhere, desperate for any skin they could claim. It was all a fury of tongue and fingers, hands and teeth, culminating in a somewhat awkward combustion. There was hardly any time to really explore each other and Delphine's nervousness prevented her from fully engaging the petite brunette in the way she would have liked, relying on Cosima to set the pace and guide the way. They hadn't even removed their panties, as every time Cosima's fingers wandered to the hem of Delphine's underwear, the blonde tensed up and the brunette relented. She had to settle for pushing the fabric to the side and slipping her fingers in when all she had really wanted to do was taste Delphine.
This time was different.
It wasn't hurried or clumsy. Each movement was deliberate and while Cosima could still sense a slight hesitation within Delphine, it wasn't as crippling as it had been before. The blonde had been almost afraid to touch her, uncertain in her actions. Every time her hands grew a mind of their own, she feared they were too sophomoric and quickly reclaimed them, suppressing her natural curiosity. Cosima had to grab her hand and place it between her own legs, just so Delphine could understand that she wasn't being invasive and that her touch was more than welcome, despite how inexperienced it was. The faint hesitation this time didn't come from performance anxiety, but from Cosima's now delicate state. She worried that if she was too rough, if things became too intense, she might hurt Cosima or send her into another bloody coughing fit.
"I'm okay. Really," Cosima said, reading the blonde's mind.
She wasn't sure if her words were true, but she couldn't stand to be seen as some sort of sickly patient, especially by Delphine. She figured there would be plenty of time to worry later. Right now, all she wanted was to be enveloped in Delphine's warmth.
Delphine's hands drifted down to the hem of Cosima's skirt. She looked up and the two made eye contact briefly, a mutual understanding passing between them as the French woman peeled the article of clothing off, removing the leggings underneath, as well. She lay there in nothing but her underwear and the blonde began to plant soft kisses right below her navel, treading over the top of her panties. She made quick work of removing them, then running her hands up Cosima's smooth legs.
"Si belle."
Cosima smiled, reaching down to thread her fingers through messy blonde tresses. Before Delphine could proceed any further, she guided her head back up, pulling her into a deep kiss and wrapping her arms tightly around her pale lover.
She felt utterly exposed and yet, she was somehow okay with it. She never thought she'd allow herself to be so vulnerable around Delphine ever again, but her monitor was right, after all; whatever existed between them was not a lie. It simply wasn't possible.
Delphine pressed her thigh against Cosima's warmth, feeling the wetness that had accumulated even through her jeans. The quirky girl groaned, squeezing her thighs together and trapping Delphine's leg in position. She bucked against it, then dug her nails into the pasty flesh of the blonde's back, dragging them down to the small of her back. Delphine hissed and arched her head back, unprepared for the sudden pain but welcoming it nonetheless. Cosima took advantage of Delphine's exposed neck, pressing a kiss to her throat and nipping it gently.
"What was that for?"
Cosima flashed one of her characteristic, toothy grins.
"You're wearing too much clothing," she justified, reaching down to pop open the button on Delphine's jeans, then drag the zipper down. "It's not fair."
"Oh," Delphine uttered, returning Cosima's smile and stealing a quick kiss as she maneuvered herself out of her jeans. "So sorry."
Without missing a beat, Cosima quickly flipped them over so that Delphine was now on her back, the brunette straddling her waist. The look of surprise on the French woman's face quickly subsided, replaced by desire.
"Prove it," Cosima challenged.
The blonde shot up in an instant, her hands extended behind her, propping her up and supporting her weight. Their lips collided once again, all reservations lost. Their tongues dueled, both of them seeking dominance, neither willing to concede in the moment. Once again, it was a complete reversal from their last encounter, where Cosima had assumed the more dominant role and the uncertain blonde was more than willing to allow it. She reached for Cosima's glasses, breaking their kiss only for a second so that she could remove them, tossing them carefully onto the nightstand before her lips continued their dance. In an attempt to gain the upper hand, Cosima's fingers slowly trailed down Delphine's stomach, halting at her center. Despite being guarded by fabric, the wetness was undeniable and the flimsy piece of cloth was soaked through. Delphine's breath hitched as Cosima slowly ran her middle finger up and down, tracing her womanhood and smiling against her lover's lips.
"Mmmm. Don't seem very sorry to me."
Delphine caught the brazen girl's lower lip between her teeth, biting down hard, causing Cosima to jerk and inhale sharply. Satisfied with the response, she gently sucked on the brunette's lower lip, as if to soothe her previous nip, garnering a groan from the shorter woman.
"You cheeky little brat."
"Maybe a little," Cosima admitted with a smirk.
"Maybe a lot," Delphine corrected.
She guided the tall, slender woman back down until she lay flat on her back, dragging her lips down her chest and stomach, stopping right above the panty line. She hooked the fabric through her fingers and paused, waiting to see if Delphine would stop her like she had the first time. While the blonde did seem somewhat uncertain, she licked her lips in anticipation, an act which Cosima understood as permission. She slowly peeled them off and tossed them heedlessly behind her. This was the first time she had seen Delphine completely naked and she had to stop herself to take it all in, gazing up to admire pale and polished skin, running her hands over thighs and stomach and breasts. The blonde reached down, tenderly brushing her knuckles against Cosima's cheek with a small smile. Cosima tilted her head slightly to the side, planting a soft kiss on them before spreading Delphine's legs wider apart, giving her more space to work. The smell of arousal was overwhelming to the senses and she slid her arms underneath Delphine's legs, hooking her knees and drawing the French woman closer so that she could plant a kiss on her exposed center.
There was a loud, high-pitched gasp and Delphine squirmed, clamping her eyes shut. Cosima's smirk resurfaced; she had barely even touched her with her mouth and Delphine was already so flustered. She wondered how long the taller woman would last against her tongue and sought to satisfy her curiosity, first peppering Delphine's inner thighs with light, teasing kisses. Her tongue traced the crease between the thigh and groin, garnering yet another shudder from the blonde.
"Cosima..."
"Hm?"
"Je veux te sentir."
While she didn't understand the words, she peered up from between the French girl's legs to meet her gaze and the look in her eyes was unmistakable. They were dark and glossy and consuming.
A translation was unnecessary.
She dragged her tongue through the inviting slit in one long, languid motion and the slender blonde's eyes rolled back in her head, her back arching as she moaned deeply at the sensation of Cosima's skilled tongue against her core. The brunette continued with her ministrations, each stroke painfully slow and deliberate. She was testing her lover, all the while getting used to her taste which was sweet on her tongue. Delphine reached down, grabbing the back of Cosima's head, forcing it even closer until the American's face was buried in her sex.
"Someone's eager," Cosima teased.
Her words were far too muffled, making them indistinguishable to the blonde who merely bucked her hips into Cosima's face, reveling in the tiny vibrations the brunette's husky voice sent shooting through her. Cosima's tongue was more relentless now, trading in its lazy strokes for quicker, more precise flicks as it encircled the tiny bundle of nerves.
"Merde..." she whimpered, digging her nails into Cosima's scalp.
The student took this as encouragement, capturing the nub with her lips and sucking gently, applying just the right amount of pressure to send the blonde reeling. Her legs began to quiver and she bit her lower lip in an attempt to stifle the obscenities and strange noises that threatened to escape her throat. Sensing her lover's restraint, Cosima slipped a finger inside of her and Delphine's lower half came entirely off the bed, her hands flailing to her sides to grab fistfuls of sheets.
"Don't hold back," Cosima whispered softly.
She continued to tease the blonde's now swollen clit with her tongue while adding a second finger, curling them inside as they steadily thrusted, rendering Delphine a writhing, moaning mess. Her pale skin was now flushed, her arousal radiating through her entire body as Cosima pushed her closer and closer, leaving her teetering on the edge.
"Please," she begged.
Her breathing was so labored now, she gulped mouthfuls of oxygen between the whimpers and moans that involuntarily fell from her lips. Each breath was stolen and finite, her lungs screaming for relief, and she felt like a nomad lost in the desert for days on end, craving sustenance.
It was Cosima's life force she was fiending for.
She wanted to feel it flowing freely through her, to sink through her lover's skin to her cells and remove whatever abnormality that plagued her. She wanted to unravel their molecules and reassemble them, to bind themselves together in a more complete whole. All of these things were thought impossible, but as Cosima's fingers quickened their pace and depth, her tongue lapping greedily, she could feel them come into fruition.
"Come for me," the brunette encouraged sweetly.
"Ma doux amour..."
Her vision was kaleidoscopic as she felt the dam finally break, a wave of pleasure rolling through her body and finally sending her over the edge. Her body quaked, convulsing violently as one hand slammed against the headboard behind her and the other grabbed the back of Cosima's head, holding her in position as she rode her face. After what seemed like a short eternity, when the spasms subsided, her body relaxed completely and she let out a long, satisfied sigh.
"Wow," Cosima exclaimed, a proud smile plastered on her face.
Delphine simply nodded, bringing her hands to her face. She was unable to respond or even open her eyes. She merely lay there, trying to catch her breath. Cosima lifted herself from between Delphine's legs.
"Just so you know, you're sleeping in the wet spot."
The blonde smiled weakly and shook her head at the smaller girl's brattiness, grabbing her head and pulling her back up so they were level.
"Venir ici, méchante fille."
Their lips met once again, the blonde tasting herself on her lover's lips and basking in it. While she had never been with a woman before Cosima, she had had plenty of lovers in the past, some good and some bad. None of them, however, even compared to what she had just experienced. She didn't think sex with a woman would be so different, but apparently it was.
"How do you know how to...," she began, not knowing how to even ask the question.
"Oh. Girls are way better at eating pussy. I mean, who knows a girl's anatomy better than a girl?" she reasoned.
Delphine had never thought of it before, but she couldn't argue with her cheeky partner.
"There's that, and the fact that I've had a lot of practice. But I like to think that I'm just naturally gifted."
"I'm inclined to agree," Delphine smiled, pressing a kiss to the brunette's forehead.
The blonde pulled Cosima close to her chest, holding her tightly. They lay there in silence, Delphine staring at the ceiling, pressing the occasional kiss to the top of Cosima's head. Cosima's fingers danced along the French woman's arm, tracing light patterns and spelling out silent love confessions on skin. The brunette was eventually lulled to sleep by the steady rise and fall of Delphine's chest, soothed by the constant beating of her heart. It took Delphine a little longer to drift away, as she focused intently on Cosima's own breathing. It appeared to be steady, but every now and then, the tattooed girl's breath would hitch and icy panic would shoot through the blonde before the breath returned and she could relax again.
"Est-ce douloureux?" she whispered.
She knew Cosima was fast asleep and beyond the point of even hearing her question, but she had to ask it anyway.
.
.
When Cosima awakened, she was nestled snuggly against the contours of Delphine's body, her monitor's little spoon. It took her a moment to remember where she was and what had happened over the course of the last twenty-four hours, but reality quickly came rushing back. She wanted to tell herself that it was a dream, but she was much too logical for that. Instead, she closed her eyes and tried to fall back asleep, only when she repositioned her head on the pillow to get comfortable, she felt wetness. Confused, she opened her eyes again and slowly sat up, careful not to wake the sleeping Delphine. Gazing down at her pillow, she felt her skin go cold and her mind go blank.
Blood.
Lots of blood.
She couldn't possibly have coughed that all up without waking herself and Delphine. When she touched the side of her face, she discovered it was caked with blood, as well. Cosima stealthily maneuvered her way out of bed, looking behind her shoulder to make sure Delphine was still sleeping. She ventured into the bathroom and flicked the light on, leaving the door slightly ajar. When she stared at herself in the mirror for the second time that night, she realized what had happened.
Nose bleed.
Well, that was new.
The left side of her face was entirely stained in blood. She turned the faucet on, letting the warm water run with the intention of cleaning it off. A minute passed and she still hadn't made any attempt to clean herself. She just continued staring at herself in the mirror, mesmerized.
"Stupid," she spat, her voice laced with contempt.
She took a deep breath in, trying to compose herself, but when she released it, the sobs came. When she had been making love to Delphine, her breath didn't hitch once. The fear never settled in once. There wasn't so much as a tickle in her throat and she convinced herself it was because she was safe, that somehow, when she was with her monitor, the disease did not exist or if it did, it couldn't touch her.
"Stupid," she muttered again.
She knew better. She was a scientist, after all.
Love never cured cancer.
Trust was no treatment for AIDS.
No matter how she and Delphine felt about each other, at the end of the day, she was still sick and nothing could change that except for science... if science felt forgiving. She wanted to believe that it was. She was a child of science, a student of science, a minister at its church. Surely it would protect her?
"Ma cherie?"
Her head whipped around to the doorway where Delphine stood, her expression matching Cosima's.
"How long have you been there?" Cosima asked, wiping her tears away.
Delphine didn't answer. She stepped closer, taking the smaller girl's face in her hands and examining it. She had heard the running water and noticed that Cosima was not tucked up against her. Upon further inspection, she discovered blood where Cosima had been sleeping and her heart sank in her chest.
"Cosima," she whispered, brushing a few vagrant tears away with the pads of her thumbs.
She said nothing else, just continued to stare into pools of untold depth. When they finally broke contact, she reached for the faucet, turning it off. Cosima was confused at first, but Delphine wandered to the shower, turning the faucet on and drawing the curtain.
"Come," she said softly, reaching out.
The brunette accepted her hand and Delphine led her into the shower, the heat a welcomed relief on her skin. Steam began to gather as the taller woman backed Cosima under the spray, water streaming down her body. The blood on her face became streaky and with the help of Delphine's gentle hand, washed right off, disappearing down the drain. Cosima watched as it spiraled around the hole and then vanished, as if it had never been there in the first place. When Delphine realized what Cosima was doing, she stepped even closer until their bodies were pressed tightly against each other. Cosima rose her head and met Delphine's descending lips halfway and there were no more thoughts of sickness or DYAD or clone club.
Delphine reached for Cosima's waist, slowly turning the girl around so that her back was to the French woman. Pushing a few of her dreads aside, Delphine planted a hot kiss on the back of Cosima's neck which made the girl shiver. Her lips then moved to her ear, her tongue tracing the shell before gently sucking on the lobe.
"Mon couer," she whispered.
Her hands moved from Cosima's waist, journeying upwards. Cosima's body was wet and slick from the shower spray, making their quest even easier. Delphine cupped her breasts, eliciting a guttural moan as Cosima rolled her head back, resting it on the blonde's shoulder. Delphine ran her thumbs over Cosima's nipples and the brunette bit her bottom lip, trying not to lose control.
"Mon âme."
Her breath was hot against Cosima's ear and her fingers continued to toy with her nipples. The smaller girl reached behind her, wrapping her arm around Delphine's neck as she continued to whisper French terms of endearment in her ear.
"Ma lumière."
Her left hand remained occupied with Cosima's left breast while the right drifted downward, burning skin as it found its home between the smaller girl's legs. Even though they were both soaked now, Cosima's own wetness was distinct.
"Delphine," she moaned.
The blonde's index finger circled her clit, sending tremors through the clone's body.
"Mon grand amour."
Her left hand abandoned Cosima's breast and traveled upward, wrapping around her neck. She placed sensual kisses along the side of Cosima's face, the side previously covered in blood, while her more southern fingers teased at the girl's entrance.
"Let me show you."
She dipped a finger in slowly and swallowed Cosima's moan, tilting her head to the side to capture her lips in a heated kiss. She slid her tongue in, probing gently, memorizing every crevice of her lover's mouth as her finger explored the clone's inner walls, her thumb teasing her clit.
The pressure was slowly beginning to build.
Cosima tore her lips away, pressing her forehead to Delphine's and forcing her eyes open so she could peer into the blonde's glossy orbs. They both became locked in a smoldering gaze, all repressed desires and emotions strewn out before them, the air thick with steam and tension. Delphine's wicked fingers continued their thrusts, assuming a more hurried pace. When she felt the blonde's fingers hit her sweet spot, Cosima's eyes clamped shut again and she thrust herself into Delphine's hand.
"Open your eyes, Cosima."
She heard her lover's words, but found her request impossible to fulfill.
"Look at me."
Delphine's voice was more commanding this time, deep with desire and a hint of danger. The spectacled girl had never heard her speak with such force, such purpose. Delphine's words always floated like a feather in a light summer breeze, but now they hung heavy in the air, set in their conviction.
Cosima had no choice but to obey and she met her lover's gaze once again.
"Tell me."
What do you need?
"More," Cosima confessed with a shaky breath. "More of you."
Delphine removed her fingers completely, but before she could be met with protest, she grabbed the petite girl by the waist and spun her around roughly, forcing her back against the tiled wall. Her finger was back inside just as quickly, accompanied by another, and the blonde grabbed Cosima's leg with her free hand, pinning her knee against the wall to grant her fingers a better angle.
Her roughness contradicted the softness she had shown just minutes before, but Cosima found it was exactly what she needed, even though she was caught off guard by Delphine's aggressiveness. Her nails dug into her monitor's shoulder blades and Delphine pressed her thigh between Cosima's legs in response, pushing against her already punishing hands and creating a delicious friction, a welcomed pressure.
"Comme ça?"
Cosima arched her back, her head smacking against the wall with a thud.
"Yeah," she panted.
This was to be an exorcism, an expulsion of all the insanity from her life and the sickness from her cells.
This was her reclaiming her body, with the help of her lover's.
This was her half life.
They both understood this.
"God, yes," she whimpered. "Like that."
She could feel a tightness in the pit of her stomach, a tightness which expanded throughout the rest of her body. She lurched forward, burying her face in the crook of Delphine's neck, sinking her teeth in to stifle her moans. The blonde gasped, crushing her body into Cosima's so that any space that might have once existed between them was a distant memory. The clone could swear their skin had melded together, alabaster on olive. The tightness in her muscles matched by the tightness of Delphine's body pressing her against the wall of the shower made it impossible to breathe or think of anything else but her impending release.
"Not God," Delphine reiterated, curling her fingers inside of Cosima.
No.
There was no God here.
This was something completely different.
"Juste nous."
Cosima's knees finally buckled and her body lurched violently as she let out a final cry of passion, throwing her head back; if it hadn't been for the French woman pinning her to the wall, she would have fallen to a heap on the floor. Heat shot through her, white hot and instant, and Delphine's lips went to her throat while her nails dug crescent moons into the blonde's back.
Her world went black and quiet.
The brunette's body eventually slackened. They remained in place, their bodies completely still apart from labored breathing, molded together as Delphine supported the entirety of the smaller girl's weight with the help of the wall. They held onto each other for life, afraid to let go.
"You're safe here," Delphine whispered, pressing a kiss to Cosima's temple.
She could feel the heaviness in her chest return.
"It's okay."
With Delphine's permission, the sobs came. She wasn't exactly sure where they came from, but there was such force behind them, she sought to bury them in her lover's comfort, nestling her face the crook of Delphine's neck. Tears formed in the blonde's eyes, as well, who slowly lowered the both of them until they were sitting on the shower floor.
She cradled Cosima on the floor like that for a long while, stroking her head while quietly hushing her and whispering terms of endearment in her native tongue. It was hard for her to see the usually upbeat and witty girl in such a broken pile, but she knew it was necessary. It meant that she was coping, that she could accept their situation and attempt to change it, rather than hide behind an illusion.
Things were already getting better.
"Sorry," she heard Cosima mumbled, finally breaking her long silence.
"Stop apologizing, mon amour," she replied with a smile, brushing tears away and kissing her softly.
Cosima smiled into her lips, then seized one of Delphine's hands, bringing it to her lips and kissing her palm.
"You're pretty good with you hands, too, you know."
Both women giggled.
"And I guess you're not the only one who cries after sex, either."
.
.
"What are we going to do, Delphine?"
She rested her head on the French woman's stomach, tracing circles around her navel as Delphine toyed with her locks, petting her head softly while staring at the ceiling, completely lost in thought.
"We'll find a cure. I know we can."
Cosima smiled, propping herself up on her elbow and turning to face her lover. Delphine returned the smile, reaching out and linking their hands, inspecting how well they seemed to fit together.
"Okay," Cosima replied.
She decided to believe Delphine.
She had no choice.
They lay there in silence for a few minutes, their fingers continuing to dance with each other, Cosima pressing tiny kisses on each of Delphine's digits. When Cosima drew her eyes back to Delphine's face, she could see that her half-smile was gone, replaced by a troubled look, shifting the mood to a more serious one.
Cosima knew exactly what the blonde was thinking.
"You want me to come with you, to the DYAD Institute, don't you?"
The thought had crossed her mind, as well. If the devil himself decided to rise up and offer his assistance, she would have been more inclined to accept it than to walk right into Leekie's hands. However, there had been no such offer and her options were few; she could try to figure this out on her own, with what few resources she had at her disposal, and most likely die before she could even make a dent in what was causing her illness. Or she could suck it up, put her emotions aside and align herself with the DYAD Institute. She would have to keep her cards close to her chest, but it seemed the most appropriate angle to play.
"It's your choice, ma cherie. But I think it's our best option."
She nodded in understanding.
Delphine flashed her a smile, but it wasn't returned. A frown stretched across the brunette's face, her brow furrowed. Delphine attempted to decipher the source of her lover's displeasure, but Cosima quickly explained her apprehension.
"I don't trust Leekie, and from what Sarah said about Rachel, I can't trust her, either."
She already knew that Leekie was a liar, so any promises he made to her, whatever help he offered, could just be an elaborate ruse. This could just be another part of his twisted experiment. Maybe he was banking on her death, there was no way to really know, and Rachel was just as dangerous, perhaps even more so; she was a wild card and a threat to not only Cosima, but her sisters, as well. Both Leekie and Rachel clearly had ulterior motives. She needed to unveil them, not just for her sake, but for Sarah's and Alison's and whatever other sisters she had out there.
"Don't trust them," Delphine agreed. "Trust me. Trust yourself."
Cosima smiled once again..
"With all the resources of the Institute behind us, we'll have the best chance of finding out what's happening to you and how to fix it."
"Yeah," Cosima nodded. "Yeah, you're right, as much as I hate to admit it."
It was settled then.
She'd infiltrate the DYAD Institute and find a cure for her condition. Maybe she could learn more about her origins, as well, and find out what exactly Leekie and Rachel were working towards. As she pondered these questions, she was dragged back to reality by the sound of her ringing phone. The two women looked at each other. Cosima got up, walking over to retrieve her phone from her coat pocket while Delphine lay back comfortably in bed, appreciating the smaller girl's curves as she pressed the talk button and held the phone to her ear.
"They took Kira!"
"Sarah?"
Delphine sat up a little straighter and Cosima sauntered back over to the bed, sitting on the edge.
"They took Kira and Mrs. S!"
"Wait, hold on. Who took them?" a confused Cosima asked.
"That Proclone bitch, Rachel! Cosima, she has my family!"
Cosima's heart sank in her chest. This really made her decision to align herself with the DYAD Institute that much harder, not to mention dangerous. If Rachel was willing to abduct Sarah's family, what else was she willing to do to achieve her endgame?
"Okay, okay. You need to calm down."
"Don't tell me to calm down! That's my daughter and my foster mom!" Sarah snapped.
Delphine shot Cosima a concerned yet questioning glance, wondering what was going on on the other end of the line. Cosima wasn't entirely sure herself, as her sister was clearly distraught. She needed Sarah to be level-headed if they were going to make any sort of progress whatsoever, which was like asking God for a miracle.
"I know. Look, we'll figure this out. Delphine and I are already working on a plan," she explained, trying to reassure Sarah.
"Delphine? Come on, Cosima! She's a part of all this, too! When are you going to learn?"
Cosima expelled an exasperated sigh.
"Yeah, but she wants to help us, and we could use all the allies we can get."
Sarah couldn't exactly argue with that logic.
"If Rachel did take Kira, maybe Delphine can figure out where they're keeping her. I'm sure Leekie would know. Delphine's his assistant," Cosima clarified.
The blonde shifted uncomfortably, crossing her arms across her chest. This reeked of disaster, they both knew, and it was not going to end well.
"I don't trust anyone, Cos. I can't. It's us versus them."
She sighed once again.
Dealing with Sarah was becoming far too taxing. If there was a poster child for a guarded, slightly emotionally stunted adult with trust and abandonment issues, it would definitely be Sarah. Cosima couldn't help but think that if their situation were different, if they weren't clones and had met under different circumstances, they probably wouldn't have gotten along very well, Sarah being much too stubborn and abrasive for her taste. But they were sisters. More than that, they were two sides of the same entity. For some unspoken reason, the two women clung to each other anyway.
"Look. Just meet me at Felix's in an hour, okay?" she proposed, sliding off the bed and heading over to her luggage.
"What if they're waiting for us there?"
She began rummaging through her suitcase for clean clothes to change into, cradling the phone between her ear and shoulder. While she'd love to spend all day in bed with Delphine, there was too much at stake and Sarah needed her.
"Fine. Not Felix's, then."
"Meet me in Queen's Park," Sarah suggested.
"Alright. See you soon."
She hung the phone up, tossing it onto the bed as she picked out a skirt and top for herself. Delphine finally left the bed, peering out the window as she did so. The curtains were drawn, but dawn was breaking, a tiny beam of sunlight shining through.
"Sarah's freaking out. Rachel took Kira and her foster mom," the brunette summarized.
"Merde."
"Yeah."
The blonde began to search the hotel room for her own clothes which were scattered throughout. Cosima couldn't help but smirk as she watched her monitor desperately search for the garments she had eagerly torn off only hours before. Delphine's quest was halted, however, by the sound of her own phone ringing. Cosima stood up straight, watching as Delphine grabbed her phone. She had a good feeling she knew who was calling and why.
"Bonjour?" Delphine answered.
"There's been a situation. I need to see you right away."
She mouthed Leekie's name to Cosima, running a hand through her wild hair, still damp but almost dry from their earlier shower escapade. Cosima nodded in acknowledgement, carefully observing her lover's reaction.
"Yes, yes. I'll be right there," she responded.
"Delphine?"
"Yes?"
"Is Cosima with you?"
She paused, then stared over at the brunette. Cosima's spine straightened even more and she suddenly knew what Leekie had asked. She stared back at Delphine, gauging her reaction. Both her and Leekie were testing the blonde and she wondered whose test she'd pass and whose she'd fail.
"Non. I'm alone."
Cosima smiled.
"Well, you might want to double your efforts to bring her into the mix. We may need her in the near future."
Delphine frowned, not liking the words he spoke or the tone he spoke them in.
"Aldous?"
"If things go south, if we can't contain Sarah Manning, we may be able to use her... as a last resort, of course. Worst case scenario," he added, sensing Delphine's hesitation through the phone. "I'll explain everything when you get here.
Delphine hung up.
"Looks like I need to go, too."
Cosima nodded.
"I'll call you later on tonight when I know more," Delphine said.
Cosima slipped on a clean pair of panties, but before she continued dressing herself, she decided to assist Delphine in the search for her own panties, which the blonde seemed to be having a great deal of trouble finding. Cosima eventually found them, hidden in the leaves of the house plant where they must had landed when she tossed them aside. She held them up, dangling them on her middle and index fingers with a smirk plastered on her face. When Delphine finally noticed she had found them, she smiled mischievously, stalking toward the shorter girl.
"Looking for something?" Cosima teased.
The blonde grabbed Cosima's waist, then proceeded to slide her hands up the clone's body, over her breasts, stopping once they cupped her face. Cosima swallowed the lump in her throat, locking eyes with the femme fatale before she was pulled into an eager kiss. As soon as she began to really lose herself to Delphine's skilled lips, the blonde dropped to her knees, catching the clone off guard.
"If we had more time..."
She placed a kiss just above Cosima's navel, her tongue tracing a line down, over cloth, stopping at her center. Cosima's breath caught in her throat and she licked her lips, unable to peel her eyes away from the blonde who was staring right back at her, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Delphine broke the stare first, pressing a kiss against her sex and extracting a groan from her lover.
"Je voudrais vous faire mienne d'encore."
Her words were hot, sending a shiver up Cosima's spine.
"Huh?" Cosima asked halfheartedly.
Delphine rose once again, nuzzling the smaller woman's face for a moment before her lips went to the brunette's here.
"I would make you mine again."
"Shit. Jesus."
The blonde seized the opportunity, snatching the now forgotten panties from Cosima's hand and chuckling lightly, sauntering back over to the bed where the rest of her clothes were piled. As soon as Cosima realized what had just happened, she couldn't help but chuckle herself.
"Fucking tease," she muttered.
She shook her head and resumed her own dressing ritual.