Author's Notes: Well, this is my first ever fanfic, so please give me lots of constructive criticism. I originally thought about doing one about the sexiest badass in Mass Effect, Thane Krios, but since there are already so many fics out there detailing his tear-jerking romance with femShep, I decided to do one about the most misunderstood, most maligned and sexiest female badass ingame, Miranda Lawson, and her growing relationship with Russell Patrick Shepard, who is based on Patrick Jane from the Mentalist. As a matter of fact, Russell looks exactly like Patrick Jane, and instead of boring old MeerShep's voice, he has the voice of, well, Patrick Jane. Heck, Russell even behaves like Patrick Jane. This will be told through Miranda's POV, and as far as I know, it's the first ever fic to do so. Anyways, on with the story!
I sprinted through the drab, gray corridors with my X4 Shuriken in my hands as I headed for the shuttle bay and I took out a hacked mech with two 3-round bursts into its metallic 'chest' without breaking stride. I, Miranda Chloe Lawson (yes that is my real name. My boss, the Illusive Man, had told me very vaguely about how he was setting a trap for my father and his many informants by using my real name, and it had worked wonders as I saw reports on how one or a few of my father's informants had ended up dead one way or the other at least thrice a week.), had barely managed to escape from one of the security stations.
All thanks to one greedy, traitorous bastard. Dr Wilson had somehow hacked the mechs to try and kill me and Russell Patrick Shepard, my 'project' for 2 years and 11 days.
Wilson had pretended to be wounded, but Russell had called him a 'big fat liar' but still let the bloody traitor run around with him and Jacob as he needed every 'ally' he could get on the station, as he eloquently put it. I had seen and heard everything through one of the holos the monitoring station had of the camera and mic monitoring the security room, where Wilson hacked those mechs, and I caught him red-handed. Of course, I was seething with rage at the Commander's stupidity, but what use was there railing at it when the idiot couldn't even hear or see me?
I, Miranda Chloe Lawson, was one of the top operatives in Cerberus, but unlike the others, I was leading research projects, 'special projects' like this Lazarus project that raised Shepard from the dead, and I dabbled as an informant. No glorious frontline ops like blowing politicians brains out with an X97 Viper from a kilometer away because they decided to pick a fight with Cerberus, or planting bombs under some businessman's chair because he stole a few hundred million credits from Cerberus' coffers. Actually, 'dabbling' wouldn't be an accurate description of my information career as I was actually considered a fully fledged info broker, and had reliable informants in even the most remote places in the galaxy. Honestly speaking, I was just average with a gun, but my biotics were what made me lethal.
Before that, I was one of the 6 daughters of Brendan Lawson, one of the richest men on earth, and the first daughter he kept. I tried my best to please the insatiable bastard and follow his draconian rules for the first 12 years of my life, but eventually gave up and rebelled until I was 17, and ran away with Oriana Adele Lawson, now Oriana Adele Bunting, my younger sister a few months after my 17th birthday. I then joined Cerberus, and as they say, the rest is history.
"I swear to God, if I see that cunt Wilson, I'm going to kill him…"I half panted, half growled as I reached the shuttle bay, and I saw through the windows that the Commander, Jacob and Wilson were approaching the shuttle bay as they took out mechs while advancing. I decided to stand right in front of the door and lock it so that when that bastard Wilson came through, the first and last things he saw would be me, my pissed expression, and the muzzle flash from my machine pistol as I ended his miserable little existence with a triple tap to the head. Suddenly, my vengeful, violent fantasies of how I was going to exact revenge on Wilson were interrupted by the door swooshing open and Wilson's 'oh shit' expression.
"Miranda! But you were-"I cut him off with a triple tap to his overly-oily forehead as my face contorted with rage. "Dead?"I snarled at his dead body on the floor as Russell spoke up.
"Whoa! Is that how you say hello where you come from?"The sandy haired Commander wise-arsed as I looked into his piercing blue eyes. "Actually, I come from England, and we just say 'hi' over there."I snarked back as he made a funny 'hmm' face. If the idiot wanted to play sarcastic, I could damn well play along.
"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, according to Oscar Wilde. However, you seem to be fully aware of that don't you?"He grinned at me as I stiffened at the insult. So much for thanking me for wasting 2 years of my youth resurrecting you, you arsehole.
"Okay, can we get back to what's going on here? Miranda, what the hell did you shoot Wilson for? What the hell did you do?"Jacob sighed in exasperation as I looked at him coolly. "My job. Wilson betrayed us all."
"I knew he was lying. The angle on his gunshot wound was unnatural. Also, his eyes gave him away. Do any of you happen to have any tea?"Russell asked as he holstered his S3 Predator as Jacob looked at him funny and I stared at him as if though he was nuts. Well, he probably was anyways.
"Not anymore. Come on, my boss wants to speak to you."I told Russell as he looked me in the eyes. "You mean the Illusive Man? I know you work for Cerberus."He smiled as I sighed and looked at Jacob. The man was so naïve and so straight-laced I could probably tie my high-heeled boots with him. "Ah Jacob, I should've known that you'd tell him."I said in a condescending tone as Jacob's posture stiffened.
"Lying to the commander's not the way to get him to join our cause."He replied somewhat robotically as I sighed again. Like I said, really naïve. "Well since we're getting everything out in the open, is there anything else you'd like to know commander?"I said, barely masking my exasperation.
"Well…how'd you resurrect me in just 2 years?"Russell asked, clearly in disbelief that he'd actually died and came back to life, as clichéd as it was. Honestly speaking, if someone told me that someone could be brought back from the dead in 2 years, I would've packed the person off to the nearest mental asylum. Now? Maybe not immediately.
"We resurrected you with the most advanced medtech available, along with some cybernetics and some tissue cloning. Also, we…gave you some upgrades."I replied as he looked at his faintly glowing scars, a side effect of the cybernetics. "Okay…I've heard something about cybernetic implants degenerating over time…so…"He began before I cut him off.
"Don't worry, these are top-of-the line ones that don't degenerate. It would be quite stupid to spend 4 billion credits on someone who'll eventually die thanks to degenerative cybernetics."I replied, trying to allay his fears before Jacob piped up.
"Don't worry Shepard; the Illusive Man's got some kind of long term plan for you, which is why he invested 4 billion in you."The black officer said as Russell turned back to me. "What kind of plan?"He asked me as I shrugged. I honestly didn't know what the Illusive Man had planned for Shepard, because he didn't tell anyone. "I haven't a clue. Maybe you should ask the Illusive Man when you meet him."I answered honestly as Russell scratched the back of his head.
"Well, I've had enough of this station to last a lifetime. Let's go, shall we?"Russell asked as he began walking towards me, not taking his eyes off mine. "Sure. Actually in your case, it would be two lifetimes."I said over my shoulder casually as I led the way to the Kodiak as Jacob and Russell snickered. "Oh the sarcasm."The Commander chuckled as we got onboard.
Halfway through the half-hour shuttle ride to Minuteman, I couldn't stand the silence and Russell staring at my breasts while acting nonchalant anymore and I broke out a datapad. Hey, I know for a fact that I'm incredibly beautiful and irresistibly attractive, with what many would consider a perfect face, firm, large and gravity-defying D-cup breasts that would make any other woman jealous, lush black hair, beautiful cerulean eyes, and my well-toned, tight and large-without-being-too-large arse, and I know that horny boys will be horny boys (honestly, which boy isn't?), but the stares I get still irritate me at times. At other times, I don't mind. Until they try to grope me, after which I give them a free ticket to the hospital.
"Okay commander, we need to run some tests to determine if the Lazarus project was a success."I spoke up as Russell's blue eyes momentarily flickered from my tits to my eyes for a scant few seconds before returning to my assets. "C'mon Miranda, more tests? He took those mechs out without a problem."Jacob said as I inhaled sharply. "It's been two years since the attack. The Illusive Man needs to know that Shepard's personality and memories are intact. Ask the questions."I said wearily as I handed Jacob the datapad.
Before I go any further, here's some information about the idiot still staring at my breasts. I honestly wondered why the Illusive Man made me and other high level; pretty female operatives like me wear this bloody catsuit instead of just giving us a damn uniform that didn't look at home in some BDSM sex club on Omega. I, along with other female colleagues sharing my misfortune, suspected the Illusive Man of sexual motives, but of course, we had no actual proof.
Commander Russell Patrick Shepard was born to Commodore Benjamin Darren Shepard (now retired), and Lieutenant (now Commodore) Hannah Juliet Shepard in 2154. As Commodore Hannah Shepard was an engineering specialist, she'd been exposed to a lot of eezo radiation from the drive core of the ships she served on and it went on for 4 months before she was taken off duty because she discovered she was pregnant, and was thus reassigned. However, her fetus was already irreversibly exposed, and thus Russell was born with very powerful biotic abilities.
In fact, the 2183 list of the most powerful human biotics kept by the Alliance Parliamentary Subcommittee for Transhuman Studies ranked Russell as #3. #1 had died from complications arising from eezo exposure in '84; #2 went insane from her L2 implant, effectively leaving Russell as the most powerful human biotic. Frustratingly enough, I was #12 on that list. Guess money really can't buy you everything.
He grew up on the ships his parents served on, and when he was 18, he enlisted. However, instead of going to the 109th Special Tactics Regiment, better known as the Adepts (which accepted only the strongest biotics and was an 'invite only' regiment), he opted to join the 3rd Division's sniper company (the best in the entire Alliance, I was told) and underwent the standard Alliance Marine Sniper Instruction Course before undergoing further training under the Alliance Future Force Sniper Training, better known as the 'Top Sniper' program and excelled with record marksmanship points that went unbroken from 2173 to 2182.
He graduated in 2175 as a Lieutenant Junior Grade (J.G.), and almost immediately, he was thrust into the thick of the Skyllian Blitz on Elysium, where he became the bloody hero he is. According to official tallies and reports, Lieutenant (J.G.) Russell Shepard held one of the larger town squares in the capital singlehandedly with no reinforcements till 4 hours later. He was on shore leave at that time, but managed to get an X97 Viper in addition to his concealed carry S3 Predator, and he grabbed a whole lot of ammo, found himself a crow's nest in a church bell tower, and practically camped there for the 4 hours, killing approximately 308 batarian hostiles, most with headshots.
"Alright Shepard, records show you were a spacer kid with a strong biotic talent and you enlisted at 18. Soon after you graduated, you served in the Blitz and won the Star of Terra for fighting batarians. You remember that?"Jacob asked as Russell finally looked away from my breasts and at Jacob. "Of course I do. I lost lots of friends that day. Bullets whistling by my head going 'whizz' and all those bullets coming towards me isn't very forgettable."He smiled at both me and Jacob before making more ridiculous noises and equally ridiculous hand gestures to mimic the bullets that were poured his way. "However you put it, it was pretty damn impressive. I had friends who were there. Satisfied Miranda?"Jacob asked, irritated as I ignored his tone.
"Almost. Let's try something more recent. Virmire, where you had to leave one of your squad behind to die."I said before Jacob continued. "However, you managed to save both Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams and Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. How did you do it?"Jacob asked, slightly in awe of the handsome man sitting across us. Wait, what the hell did I just think about that handsome pervert? Oh Christ. Not good Miranda, not good.
"Well, I took Liara and Garrus with me to rescue Ashley and the salarians while Wrex and Tali went for Kaidan. However, Wrex actually ended up going for both Kaidan and Tali, as she ended up just as badly wounded as Kaidan."Russell chuckled at the memory as I continued. "Your memory seems solid. There are other tests we really should run-" "Come on Miranda, enough with the quizzes. The memories are there, and I can vouch for his combat skills personally."Jacob interrupted me as a barely contained my irritation at being undermined by Jacob, and Russell seemed to notice this as he gave me a raised eyebrow and said, "Miranda honey, learn to relax a bit. You're really job-focused, and you tend to neglect others, but most of all, you neglect yourself."The cheeky fucker smiled. He actually called me honey. This…arsehole was going to be the death of me.
"I suppose you're right. We'll have to hope the Illusive Man accepts our little field test as evidence enough."I sighed, and for the last 5 minutes, Russell and Jacob engaged in some conversation about their old war stories. Once we disembarked, I got a message from the Illusive Man that he wanted to see Shepard ASAP, but before I could tell Shepard about it, he spoke up.
"Damn I'm starving. Which way to the mess hall?"He smiled nonchalantly at him as I fought down the urge to slap that irritating smirk off his face. The galaxy was at stake and he was hungry. "Shepard, you have to go see my boss now-" "Sorry Miranda, but I've been out for two years. I mean, I haven't eaten in two years, so of course I'd be hungry."Russell said, still smiling that idiotic smile of his.
"Sure commander. Follow me."Jacob spoke up and led Shepard to the mess, much to my chagrin. "Jacob!"I hissed as Jacob shrugged. "What? I mean, I'm hungry too."He said before he walked off with the moron I spent two years of my youth on, leaving me standing there shaking my head. "Come on, you're hungry too. I know it."Russell winked as I really, really had to fight the urge to just biotically slam him into a wall and jump on him and slap some sense into him. The cheeky bastard actually had the nerve to wink at me!
Five minutes later found both Jacob and Shepard munching away on bacon cheeseburgers as they joked about the crazy stuff they did in the Alliance, and me listlessly but ravenously chewing at my chicken salad sandwich. Yes, Russell finally got his beloved tea as well. "See? I knew you were hungry."Russell chuckled through a mouthful of burger as I glared at him, which made his smile grow even wider. Seriously, did I just waste two bloody years of my youth resurrecting the supposed 'Savior of the Galaxy', who was nothing more than an overconfident, perverted and sickening idiot? I really wanted a refund of those two years.
Finally (thank God), Russell finished his meal and went down to get briefed by the Illusive Man while I went to work on one of the terminals. "Damn, he's a great dude, isn't he?"Jacob grinned at me as he leaned on my console as I sat upright in my chair. "Great? He's going to be the death of me! He couldn't even take his eyes off my breasts throughout the entire shuttle ride, and- I really don't see how an arsehole like him could be the Savior of the Galaxy."I huffed as I refocused on my work. I read all the reports on Shepard before he died, and he preferred to solve and actually solved more problems with words instead of bullets. However, I really could not see how the bloody hell it's possible, especially if Russell is this much of a douchebag.
"Hey, you can't blame him for not taking his eyes off of your tits Miranda…I mean, uh, never mind."Jacob stammered when I fixed him with a death glare. Ex or not, nobody talks to me like that when I'm working. Or any time when I'm in public, for that matter. Suddenly, he found the railing furthest from me to be really interesting and went to lean over it and stargaze, which was good for him and even better for me, as I was undistracted from my work.
However, my workaholic ecstasy was short-lived as he came back up whistling a jaunty tune. How anyone could be this happy, I had no idea. Maybe all the drugs Wilson had pumped into him during Lazarus had irreversibly made him higher than an orbital platform. "Whoa, still working? You really need to take a break. So why don't you tell me about yourself and the Lazarus project? Great to know about the project from its leader."He asked. Fine, whatever gets you off my back, you idiot.
"I wasn't really the leader of the project. If I was, we would've done things differently."I said bluntly. "Like what?" "For starters, I would've implanted you with a control chip of some kind. But my boss wouldn't allow it. He thought it would affect your personality, alter your character somehow." "Well, I'm glad you weren't in charge. I'd hate to have something like that in my brain. Now about yourself."Russell smiled.
"Worried about my qualifications? Don't worry, I can crush a mech's head with my biotics or shoot its head off. Take your pick."I stated matter-of-factly before he continued. "I can tell you're obviously not from the Alliance like Jacob." "Correct. The Illusive Man recognized my potential and recruited me at a young age."I replied before he asked me how old I was when I joined. "Old enough to know that this was what I wanted."I deflected the question as he looked deep into my eyes, which unnerved me slightly.
"Great way to avoid a question…you're hiding something. Aha! You were technically underage when you joined Cerberus."He smiled, wagging a finger at me as I refused to be baited. "Anyways, I was trying to get to know you as a person. Didn't really want a resume."Russell smiled as I narrowed my eyes. "I'm not looking for a friend Shepard. Stay focused on the mission. Also, I'm eager to see if you can live up the Illusive Man's expectations."I retorted, trying to get back to my work but he interrupted me. "Are you naturally always this bitchy, or did you not get good coffee this morning?"He joked as I stiffened.
"Meow meow meow. I have the utmost respect for your abilities Shepard. It's your motivations that concern me."I snarked as he guffawed. "Ah Miranda, your sarcasm is amazing. However, it's a coping mechanism for you, just like your work. You're hiding from something, or someone. You're afraid that people will discover the real you and that they will hate what they see. Judging by your general disdain for superiors and the fact that you always snap at everyone and anyone, someone your senior to you hurt you badly, repeatedly when you were a kid."Before the arsehole could continue, I cut him off.
"Shepard, you're delusional. I know you have a Masters in Psychology from the Jon Grissom Academy, but that doesn't give you a right to slander me."I retorted, trying my best to keep my cool and not to let him know how accurate his entire statement was. "Uh-uh, liar liar pants on fire! I can tell that you have some huge emotional baggage. In fact, you had mommy issues. Wait, sorry I got it wrong. You had daddy issues. You were abused by your father as a child, and now you're hiding from him and memories of his abuse-" "That's enough!"I snarled loudly, bolting from my chair as this fucker pushed all my buttons, attracting the attention of Jacob.
"Damn Miranda, calm down."He soothed as I glared at Shepard, who had his hands raised in front of his chest and that goddamn smirk of his on his face. "Okay, okay, I understand. Great talking to you. Really, you should let it all out. It helps."He said with a silly expression on his face as he backed off, followed by Jacob. "Shit man, how'd you get Miranda this pissed? I've known her for 5 years now, and I've never seen her this angry before."I heard Jacob say to Russell as they leant over the railing as they chatted again. Well, nobody had ever been able to tell all those things about me before, much less in just one conversation. The worst part was, Russell was totally accurate in his judgment of me.
Even though it was close to 18 years since I'd escaped from my egomaniacal father who wanted to create a new breed of 'superhumans' that could rival and surpass every other alien race in every aspect in the interest of 'protecting humanity's pride and interests', he still overshadowed my life like some bloody stain I couldn't get rid of. Just 6 years ago, Oriana was moved from Shanxi to Illium as that father of mine almost kidnapped her, but fortunately, the Illusive Man managed to save Oriana.
Suddenly, a loud bark of laughter from Jacob made me snap my gaze from the screen to him. "Damn you're good!"My ex chuckled as Russell held a poker card in front of Jacob. "So you want the ace of spades? No problem?"The sandy-haired commander grinned as he coughed and procured a card from his mouth as Jacob's eyes widened in awe. "Hot damn Shepard, you're good!"He boomed as Shepard grinned. Oh, boys and their magic tricks. Unbelievable.
"Shepard, Jacob, get armored up. We're going to Freedom's Progress now."I ordered as I stood up and headed for the armory, and both Shepard and Jacob followed me, and I swear that Russell's eyes were glued to my arse as we walked through the corridor to the armory. Just as we reached and I was about to key in the pass code, Russell stopped me.
"Wait. I can do this. As a matter of fact, I can get it out of you, Miss Lawson, in just a minute."He grinned as I rolled my eyes. "Not a chance in hell."I replied smugly, very sure that he was unable to do it as he stared into my eyes once more for about half a minute. "Miranda, you haven't seen anything yet."He said as he tapped me on my shoulder twice.
Suddenly, I was lying on a gingham mat in some verdant green pasture somewhere, and Oriana was lying next to me, and both of us had a glass of red wine each in our hands. Suddenly, Oriana crawled atop me and French kissed me. There was nothing even remotely sisterly about the kiss, it was just pure, unbridled lust. To my horror, I actually began to kiss my younger sister back with equal passion as our tongues massaged each other's as I heard Russell's voice in the background. "Alright, thank you."He grinned, and suddenly I was staring at Russell and his idiotic grin, Jacob with an awed expression on his face and an open armory door.
"What the hell-"I began, and suddenly realized that my fingers were on my lips and I quickly whipped them away. "Well Miranda, looks like I win."The commander smiled as Jacob spoke. "Damn, how'd you do that? Why's her face so red?"The ex-lieutenant asked as Russell looked into my eyes. "Technique, my dear Jacob. Technique. As for her face…she dreamt that she was kissing someone passionately when I hypnotized her. In fact, I think it might be you, Jacob. I can tell that you two were an item, but broke up on mutual agreement."The sandy-haired sniper grinned as Jacob blushed a little and my blush got even deeper.
"No! I wasn't dreaming about him!"I protested as Russell looked thoughtful. "Your reaction was a mix of horror, disgust but there was also a lot of lust. Hmm…oh no! Oh no!"Russell guffawed as I stood there baffled. "No what? What do you think I was dreaming about?"I asked before I could stop myself. "Your dad! I never took you for having an Electra complex!"He laughed as Jacob's jaw dropped. "No! Hell fucking no!"I practically screamed in horror as he just continued laughing, the idiot. "Come on Jacob, let's get our armor and guns, and leave Miss Lawson to sort herself out."Russell chuckled as he led Jacob into the armory as I ran for the bathroom, where I practically drowned myself while washing my face.
How could that pervert think that I, of all people, would harbor unfulfilled lust for my father, who had seen me as nothing more than tool and had abused me throughout my childhood? "No. No. He's just crazy Miranda. He's absolutely off the fucking chain."I whispered to myself. Well, at least Russell got something wrong, and didn't realize I had a sister. I dried my face before I headed to the armory, and from within I heard Jacob's hooting and Russell's guffaws of laughter. The minute I stepped in there, I swear I was going to kill Shepard, then myself.
The bloody moron was juggling five grenades. Yes, Commander Russell Patrick Shepard was juggling five live grenades. "Stop! Stop juggling those grenades and get out!"I screamed in outrage as both Russell and Jacob turned to me, Russell with and innocent smile and Jacob with a guilty one. "Hey Miranda, it's ok. He's good at this."Jacob tried to assure me, but I wasn't having any of it. "I don't care! This is completely irresponsible behavior!"I ranted as Russell looked at me. "Don't worry Miranda, I won't drop the grenades-oops, I just did. Shit."He stated apologetically as his eyes widened. "Don't worry…it's…uh…it isn't active."He tried to reassure me and Jacob, who now looked as horrified as I did.
As Russell and Jacob were already armed and armored up, I shoved them out of the armory while screaming "Out! Out this very second!" Once that was done, I locked the door, stripping to my lingerie before I fitted myself into my custom made armor set, which resembled Shepard's N7 armor but instead of black, it was all white with pink stripes and had a small Cerberus logo on the left collarbone plate.
The Commander had opted for an Umbra Visor while I went with a Sentry Interface, and he was wearing an Aegis Vest while I had a custom made Shield Harness on (sometimes, I wish my breasts and arse were smaller just so they didn't have to take my bust and butt measurements just to make armor for me), he had Kestrel Power Packs on while I had Life Support Webbings. Also, he had Stabilization Gauntlets on while I went for Heavy Damping ones, and finally, he chose Amplifier Plates, which was also my choice. Jacob had just gone with a Capacitor Helmet with his Cerberus Assault Armor, saying that he hated the helmet that came with the Assault Armor.
I then picked the Collector Assault Rifle, a relatively new and untested piece of weaponry to enter Cerberus' inventory, an X12 Locust, a S5 Phalanx, also a relatively new gun, and finally an Arc Projector completed my loadout, along with 3 grenades. I then stormed out of the Armory, still incredibly angry with the moron I was now going to take orders from. The minute I got to the shuttle bay, guess what the Savior of the Galaxy was doing?
That's right, juggling the 5 grenades he'd taken out of the armory. Again. And all Jacob was doing was sipping on a cup of coffee as he enjoyed the show, which I ended when I snatched all of Shepard's grenades away, earning a whipped puppy look from him as I glared at him while we boarded the shuttle.
If there's a higher power out there, please, I beg you, put me out of my misery already. I'd rather die than follow this moron I wasted 2 years of my youth on. In fact, I want a full refund of those 2 years.
A/N: Oh boy…will Miranda ever learn to like Shepard? She really hates his guts…anyway, next up is Freedom's Progress, so do stay tuned. Also, pleasepleaseplease review! I'm a total whore for feedback, so please satisfy me. ;) I hope you enjoyed it, and will continue to keep reading. See you soon, and review please! Did I mention that I'm a review whore? XD