Title: So You Pray
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairings/Characters: Mother (Eve), one sided Dean/Castiel
Genre: Angst, sort of AU
Notes: I was trolling around YouTube the other day when I came across an amazing video that just begged to be made into a fic. I tweaked a few things around to fit my story but essentially it was Castiel meeting Mother (Eve) and Eve telling him that God didn't love him and she would keep him safe. I hope that Castiel and Eve meet in the show because the showdown between those two would be EPIC!
Spoilers: Up to 6x16
Summary: Movement catches his eyes. A flint of white in the darkness and for a split moment he relaxes thinks he see wings. Think he's safe, that he has been rescued.
The ground was cold, hard; his vessels body ached from where it came into contact with the cement. But it wasn't a vessel anymore really, it was his body, it belonged to him now. Jimmy was gone, long gone, in heaven now watching over Clair and Amelia. This body belonged to him.
And it ached, his eyes blurred around the corners as he sat up. Licks of heat flickered at his face as he leaned forward he could feel his grace crackle and push back against his body trying to get away from the heat.
Holy oil.
The ring of fire encircled him; it was so small he could barely move. The only light in the room was from the fire, the fire that held him prisoner.
A whisper of a sound, something different from the snapping and popping of the fire. A faint sound of movement; an echo off the walls made of metal. Ears strain to listen; to discern the noise; to pin point where it is coming from.
But it sounds as if it is coming from everywhere at once, like the room itself is speaking to him. He listens harder, his grace flaring up, desperately trying to move to see the source of the sound.
A small slice of panic is starting to show, he doesn't like being trapped, doesn't like be unable to defend himself.
The sound comes again, this time louder, closer. His eyes swing around the dark room, the dark and abandoned structure. Vaguely he thinks it reminds him of an old air port hangar. The sound carries across everything.
He wants to call out; barely stamps back the desire to shout. Doesn't know what it is, doesn't know what is in the building with him.
Movement catches his eyes. A flint of white in the darkness and for a split moment he relaxes thinks he see wings. Think he's safe, that he has been rescued.
It was foolish. He can sense the power; can sense the old that rolls off the creature.
Her vessel is of a young girl, a young girl that was sacrificed to hold the ancient being. The innocent's soul now resides in the body with the ancient creature.
A shape takes form in the darkness far away, yet too close, close enough to see. Close enough to taste the evil that surges off of it in nauseating ripples.
He steels himself, tries to call forth his sword, to flap his wings, move in what seems like the ever shrinking circle of imprisoning fire.
She's right in front of him, delicate pale toes touching onto the ground, soft brown hair blowing gently behind her shoulders. Eyes soft and fragile stare at him. The slight pout of lips tell a story of a girl who was pure, who was devout.
She is defiled now, ravaged by the primordial creature that has taken over her body. There is no softness behind those brown eyes, no kindness left to shine through.
When she speaks her voice is that of the young girl, soft and reassuring, pure and untainted.
But it's all lies; the chaste young girl is replaced by a monster.
"Castiel" her voice soft like a whisper. He does not respond, cannot respond, doesn't want to admit at this moment he feels fear.
She moves closer the edges of her white dress catches the flames, small pieces burn away.
"I have heard so much about you…I have heard all that you have sacrificed…everything that you gave up." She stares straight ahead, brown soft eyes burning holes into his grace, seizing his insides.
"You gave up your very existence for this world…and what have you gotten in return?" She pauses her head tilts slightly to the left, her brown hair falls into the fire. The smell of burnt hair wafts through the room, the edges of the long hair sizzle. Seconds later it's grown back fresh and new.
He still does not respond.
"Nothing…not a single thanks, not a single ounce of reorganization…only chaos. The betrayal of your brothers and sisters…the death of your brothers and sisters. You saved this world from destruction only to be thrown into a war that you do not want to fight." Her voice carries over him; he tries to block it out, tries not to listen to the words. Temptation comes in many forms.
"And the men you call friends…" he stills, listens, head falls slightly down. He does not want to hear about his friends; does not want the monster to speak about them but he cannot turn away.
"They use you…call on you like a dog then cast you aside when you are no longer needed." Her words are not harsh; they are soft, caring, understanding.
He blocks it out, shakes his head to rid himself of the lies.
"They use you and you let them. Because there is no one else. No one that can understand what you are going through…what you have gone through. But each time…" she pauses again; she is at his side hand stretched out towards his heart. Not touching but so close.
"Each time they call on you you consider not going…consider leaving them on their own…to see if after a while if they'd stop calling you…stop wanting you around."
It hurts, he does not like it, he forgot what it was like to feel pain, to feel those human emotions. He'd been in battle too long, too focused on his war to feel what was inside him.
When she speaks next he can feel himself breaking down, losing his grip, losing the fight to block out the words. It hurts so much to hear his thoughts out loud.
"But you want to go…you want to see…him, to see Dean. See the man you have been in love with since you pulled him out of Hell."
Soft whispers, soft whispers of understanding.
"He understands…knows what doubts are in your soul. Understands why you search for your Father even though he no longer loves you. He understands why you still call out his name. Your Father made you then abandon you so you pray. Pray to him every time you go into battle…every time you go visit Dean and Sam. You pray because you are scared…scared that you will lose the battle, lose Earth…lose Dean."
"But, Castiel…" he listens now, body and grace tuned into her, ignores the wetness on his cheeks, the human reaction to the pain he feels in his chest.
"A mother never abandons her children." words full of hope and promises of certainty…of safety.
The flames die down; though he does not notice he is focused solely on the creature before him. "I can give you everything you need Castiel. I can give you an end to your war…an end to the fighting, to the killing. I can stop it all…I will be your mother and I will hold you close and protect you and never leave you."
Arms encircling arm, soft and frail yet so powerful and reassuring. Words whispered in the darkness. The heat is gone; the holy oil replaced by soft arms of an ancient creature. "I can give you Dean… I can show him how to love you. All you need to do is say yes…say that you will join me…that you will stay with your mother forever."
He wants it all, he wants so much, needs so much. It wants it all to be over. He wants to be called upon because he is wanted not because he is needed. He wants so much…so much he knows he will never get.
If he says yes he will forsake his father he will give up his grace and heaven. He will give up his wings. He will fall. But in a new way…a way that has never been tried. He will fall into the arms of a mother, he will fall and a new creature a new being will be born.
He opens his mouths and speaks in the darkness, a simple word that will change the course Earth, Heaven and Hell forever.