Hi guys me and my friend Becky loves carlos were really bored today so we wrote this very crackish story for you guys! A few things you should know before you start reading:
1.)Bella's very stupid 2.)They're still werewolves and vampires. 3.)Edward can't mind read. 4.)Charlie's working third shift. 5.)Jacob's REALLY horny & Edward doesn't mind. ;-)
Plus we were slightly hungry while writing this and its UN-beta.(Plus we own nothing but the crackish thoughts all characters belong to Stephanie Meyers)
JAKE'S POV
Here I am yet again sitting in this tree a couple houses away from Bella's like an idiot. Don't get me wrong she's my best friend and I would do anything to protect her, but he's in her room and I'm out here like dumbass. What does he have that I don't? He's a totally fucking disgusting ass leach! Yeah he may have a beautiful crooked smile, crazy sexy hair and the most gorgeous amber eyes ever. AAAhh! Who am I kidding! Truthfully, the real reason I'm mad isn't because I like her. . .
It's because I like him.
Then my stomach started growling & I thought to myself, "Hmm… could be a good night for hotdogs; with ketchup, lots & lots of ketchup." What a perfect excuse to invite myself in. I then jumped down from my restful place in the tree but unfortunately did not land on my feet… but on my face. "Damn, that hurt!" I screamed. I rubbed my face whilst walking to their door.
*Knock knock knock*
As the door slowly creaked open I soon found myself face to face with the enemy.
He took one look at me and nonchalantly asked, "What do you want?"
"Bella & I were supposed to have a cookout; wasn't expecting to see you here, well considering she never mentioned you."
Bella then creeped from around the corner. "What cookout?" she said.
"The one we were talking about last week, remember?" I reminded her.
"Umm… like I totally don't remember that." She ditzilly spoke.
"Wow. I see how it is, whatever bye."
"No, like don't go. We can still have a cookout. Like the only problem is I didn't go shopping yet. But like I can swing by like Wal-Mart real quick or something & get some things or like whatever." She added.
Edward then spoke up, "Okay… well I'm going with you."
"Edward, you don't have to like fucking escort me everywhere. I'll be fine, it's only like a block away."
"Yeah, Edward. Don't be so damn paranoid." I said.
Whatever mutt, I guess I stay love. He went to kiss Bella but she turned her head.
I watched Bella as she pulled out of the drive way and said to myself "Oh let the fun begin!"
I turned to Edward and said "Now that she's gone what about we have our own private cook out" and slowly put my hand on his chest and worked my way down to his belt buckle.
A low pitched moan escaped from deep in Edward's throat and he said "Jake what are doing?"
"Umm… heating up the grill. It's the only way to cook the hotdogs." I said as I hungrily licked my lips. Edward looked up and gave Jacob his favorite crooked smile and said "Okay, but only if you promise to make it sizzle."
As I pushed Edward down on the couch I replied "Oh, I promise", and placed a rough kiss to his mouth.
Almost instinctually I ripped his shirt off in one swift tug. As I slowly worked my way down his chest to his nether regions I left a long slobbery trail of drool, which I then worked my eager tongue all the way back up his hairy trail. Before I could even slip my tongue in his mouth, Edward took control.
He forcefully grabbed me by my wrists & threw me on the floor. "Get on your knees. "
Naturally I followed his commands. I quickly undid his zipper on his pants & popped it out. To my amazement it was everything I had hoped & dreamed it would be. I got to work right away sucking his quickly hardening shaft.
-5mins later-
Edward was then fully erect a proud 9 inches stood firmly in front of me & I was eager to take every inch.I then moaned to Edward, "I want you now." Edward wasted no time flipping me over & "working me open." ;-)
His tongue felt so moist, as he worked every muscle of my virgin hole. Without warning he jammed his cock into my man hole. I screamed every time he pounded into me, hitting my prostate with every thrust. "Ahhh I'm cuuuuuminggg!" I said whilst cumming on Bella's carpet. Edward soon followed by filling me to the brim with his seed.
-5 minutes later-
We both had our pants back on and I turned to Edward and said "Sorry about your shirt" "That's ok. Bella likes me without a shirt any way" he replied. "She's not the only one" I thought to myself. I then heard Bella's crusty ass car pull up in the drive way.
"Like ok guys I'm back" Bella wailed. "Sorry I took so long. I didn't know which type of hotdogs were the best to pick."
I looked at her and said "That ok, I already had my fill of this cookout"
As I turned to leave I heard Bella say, "Like eww! Who spilled mayo on my carpet!"
FIN
PS. Its a one shot, and only constructive criticism no HATERS!