There were many times I had looked at Lisa Cuddy's boyfriend and said, "That should be me."

First Time, Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Cuddy's boyfriend was kissing and tickling her a few yards away, "I don't like that Bradley." I told Mike.

Mike was sitting back with his feet up, reading, "Brandon," he corrected.

"Whatever," I dismissed, still glaring.

"You just don't like him cause you want her," he turned the page.

"I do not. I just don't like him."

"If you don't like her, then why do you stalk her? Now I know you don't have an answer because you're a liar, and you do like her."

"I give them a month, tops." I said, ignoring my friend.

"Face it House, you lost your chance."

"Nuh uh, I was going to-Shut up."

"See, you like her," Cuddy pinned her boyfriend's shoulders to the ground.

"If she kisses him, I'm going to hurl."

"Then there's a trash can right there," he pointed without looking up, and sure enough, she kissed him.

"Ugh, I'm leaving, I think I actually might hurl if I continue to watch this." I got up, but as I was leaving, I watched her smiling, in his arms, and thought, That should be me. Two weeks later, Cuddy and the guy whose name I never bothered to learn, had broken up. I had never been so happy while someone was sad for the very same reason. The reason I never denied stalking her, was, I kinda did. So, I went, OK, I followed her to a party. Admittedly, was not the first time I followed her to a social event. Then, one thing led to another and I wake up with her naked body against me, and lots and lots of fun mental pictures I will hold onto for the rest of my life. I smiled at the back of her head, This could be me. But I didn't have a chance to make that me. I got expelled that day, I never really understood how a day could start out so good and end so bad.

Second Time, Princeton-Plainsboro, New Jersey

"I don't like him." I told Wilson as I looked through Cuddy's office doors at Cuddy and him.

"You don't even know him," Wilson said as he continued to sign charts.

"I know enough about him to know that I don't like him."

"What's he do for a living?" He picked up another folder, and put his John Hancock.

"...Not important. Important thing is, he's not right for her."

"They've been dating a month, I'm pretty sure she's not considering mariage just yet."

"Have you noticed how much more cleavage she's showing now?" I asked, ignoring Wilson.

"No, I don't stare unabashedly at her chest, unlike some people. If anything, she's showing less."

"I thought you didn't stare at her chest." I looked at him. "Oh wait, you don't stare unabashedly," I went back to staring at Cuddy, "I forgot you didn't say anything about subtly. Why are they even here?"

"Cuddy needs to finish some work, and I've heard tale that thoughtfull boyfriends, and this is crazy, but sometimes, they come to pick up their girlfriends, and get this wait while their girlfriend finishes." I looked down and smirked. He sighed and rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, Cuddy's going to dinner with a lousy lay."

"Why do you even care, and, shouldn't you be home?"

"Stacy doesn't tell me what to do," I grumbled.

"Mhm," he nodded, "keep telling yourself that."

"Please, Bonnie has you on a short leash. I bet you couldn't go out without her permission."

"Yes I could," he said defensively.

"Then let's go drinking."

"Fine." Cuddy walked out, arm in arm with...whatever the hell his name is. I watched her walk out, That should be me

Third Time, Princeton-Plainsboro, New Jersey

"I don't like him," I walked up to the desk in the Clinic.

Cuddy scoffed, "You don't know him, thank you, by the way."

"You're welcome. For what?"

"I was being sarcastic. And I swear House, if you crash my dates with Ron like you did Stew, I will kill you, slowly, and painfully."

"Who?"

She rolled her eyes and shook head, "Stew was the last boyfriend you scared off, Ron is the one you claim to not like."

"I don't 'claim'," he put the word in quotations, "I don't like him."

"Like I said," she conituned to work, "you don't know him."

"Doesn't mean I can't dislike him."

She turned and looked at me, leaning against the desk, "Give me one reason you don't like him."

"...You don't like him."

"What? If I didn't like him, why am I going out with him?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "You haven't been laid in awhile?"

Her eyes closed in annoyance, I love that I can push her buttons, "That is none of your business. Why can't you just go annoy your girlfriend?"

"She's busy, and I know that she's been laid in the recent history, I also know she's not dating a loser."

Cuddy scoffed, "I don't see how you're less you a losser than Ron."

"I'm a doctor, I'm good looking, smart, hilarious. Why wouldn't you want to go out with me?"

"You're an ass, and taken."

My eyes widened, "Oh, so it's just because Sisters before Misters?"

"No, pretend you and Stacy had never met," she leaned forward, my eyes looking down her shirt before returning to her eyes, "I wouldn't go anywhere near you." She turned, and, she never walked, she strutted away. And god do I love to watch her strut. The next day, I drove through her neighborhood, I was going to the store, and cut through there. I saw her saying good bye to...him.

"He has clothes over there?" She was just in a man's t-shirt. That should be me. I went the rest of the day in a really bad mood. A few weeks later, when she came into work, Cuddy sighed and and shook her head when she saw me. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm single again, thanks to you."

"What'd I do?"

"He said I got to focused on you, and you came around too much." She shook her head again and walked into her office.

Fourth Time, Princeton-Plainsboro, New Jersey

"I don't like him."

"Who?" Wilson asked.

"Cuddy's got a date."

Wilson looked up, "How do you know? If I don't know about him, then you couldn't have met him."

"I may have gone to the restuarant they're at. Also, I went to her house." I frowned, "She wasn't wearing a bra. And she asked me if I like her." I smirked, "I saw him walk out of her house almost as soon as I left."

"Do you think it's possible for you to let her have a nice, uninterupted date?" I shook my head. "Then can you at least tell her you do like her?" I shook my head again.

Fifth Time, Princeton-Plainsboro, New Jersey

I sat down across from Wilson and said quietly, "I like him."

Wilson looked up, "What?"

"I like Lucas," I repeated. "He's not right for her, but he's good for her."

Wilson shook his head, "You don't mean that."

"I do. I mean, she's happy enough that she didn't want me messing with it."

"Well, she never wants you messing with anything," he said in his Wilson voice. "And you know how she gets when you screw up dates with guys she's just met."

"She yells," I stood up, "she swears, she doesn't hide it, then look like a puppy that just got hit when I find out." I walked out and took the elevator down to the second floor balconey. I left Wilson's office to avoid talking about...her, seeing her walking out with him was not helping. I watched her walk out with his arm around her. That definitely hurt the most, of all the times I'd seen her with another man, this hurt the most. That should be me. I thought karma worked like, you do good things, try to get the girl, good things happen to you, including, I'd even except limited to, getting the girl. But it went, do drugs, don't give a damn, and reject the girl, semi good things happen and the girl tries.

Suck It Karma! Princeton-Plainsboro, New Jersey

"I love her," I said, laying on his bed, waiting for her to come back. God it feels good to be Cuddy's man. Better than I thought it could be. Cuddy walked back in, shed her robe and laid back down.

She put her hand on his chest and smiled, "What are you thinking about?"

I shook my head, "Nothing."

"Tell me."

"...I may be thinking about you."

"Oh, I warrant a smile?" She beamed.

"At least your body, if nothing else."

"It's alright if I make you smile," she said cutely.

"You don't make me smile, shut up."

Cuddy just smiled and laid on my chest, "You make me smile you know." I smile, she's the only one that can get me to smile a real smile. Yeah, fuck you Karma.

An: Yeah, this was just randomness and popsicles. Aha, get it? Ooo! I have A Pox On Our House Tivoed! Hella! Peace out homies.