a/n: A little backround for this story.
Meredith just moved back from New York. She has been friends with Christina, George, Alex, and Izzy since college. They are all residents.
Meredith was engaged to Allan until he was killed in an automobile accident. It shattered her heart and left her alone. She is trying to start over and rebuild her life.
Derek is going to be her knight and help fix her broken heart.
Mark will be in this story as well.
As always read and review.
Till I can make it on my own
The sound of the alarm woke Meredith up. She quickly climbed out of bed. Knowing that today she couldn't be late. She threw on her clothes and ran downstairs. Needing a fresh cup of coffee. Her friends reminded her that this was the first day of her new life. Although she wasn't quite ready to forget about her past. The past made her who she was today. A single tear slid down her face.
It would be a good day to leave the past behind. If only she could tell her heart to forget. That was were the true pain was hiding. Christina had even suggested therapy. As she took a drink of coffee she couldn't help but to laugh. Christina wasn't one to share feelings. That was one of the reasons that they became friends. She was the one person that Meredith was able to talk to. At least that was before. Now she tried to keep all her feelings to herself. It was easier that way. Knowing that she didn't have to rely on anyone else. She could get through on her own.
She grabbed her bag off of the chair. It was time to go. Time to start her first day as a resident. Walking out to her car she looked back at the house. Izzy and George had wanted to ride in with her. To stand beside her for her first day at Seattle Grace. She had declined knowing that she had to stand on her own two feet. So many times she was able to lean on others. It was now time that she reclaimed the strength that she had lost.
She pulled the jeep out of the drive way. She turned on the radio needing to fill the silence that fell upon her. She thought back to a couple years ago. To a time when her heart was filled with love. Love for a man who she believed completed her life. He was everything to Meredith. They were happy and in love. Planning to spend the rest of their lives together. "Stop" she yelled at herself. These thoughts always seemed to creep into her head. Thoughts of him and how they would be today.
Lost in thought she hadn't realized that she was sitting outside of the hospital. "Come on Meredith. You have to be strong. You have to make it on your own." she whispered to herself.
She walked up to the hospital.
"Hey" Christina walked up behind her. She knew that it was a big step for her friend.
Meredith turned around. "It's a big step" she was happy to see her friend.
"Let's walk in together" Christina knew that she couldn't do it alone. Meredith tried to act strong but the pain that she was feeling was real and painful.
"Okay" she needed her friend today.
They walked into the hospital. "What time do you meet with the Chief?" Christina asked as they stood in front of the elevator.
"I have ten minutes" Meredith looked around the hospital. This wasn't supposed to be her hospital. She was supposed to be in New York finishing her residency. The memories were to strong. She was to weak. When Christina called and asked her to come. She didn't hesitate she called Chief Webber and was welcomed with open arms. He was like a father to Meredith. The only father she had ever known.
"Let's go" Christina said as the elevator opened.
Meredith walked onto the elevator. Fear was beckoning her to turn and run. She fought the urge and won. It was time to move on time to put the past to rest.
"I could go with you" Christina had time before the start of her shift.
Meredith wanted to tell her yes. Though she knew that it was time to stand on her own.
"I have to do this alone." Meredith smiled at her. She was thankful for all of her friends. They weren't just normal acquaintances. No the friends that she had they were her family.
"Well here's your stop" Christina smiled as the elevator opened.
Meredith stepped off of the elevator as Derek Shepherd walked on.
He was able to look into her eyes for a second. It was enough time to become memorized. He could see the sadness that fell upon her eyes. He wanted to follow her. To ask who could ever make something so beautiful so sad. Instead he walked onto the elevator.
Meredith stood outside of the Chief's office. She had tried to knock three times. Each time she had pulled her hand away.
"Meredith" the Chief opened his door.
"Chief Webber" she smiled.
"Come in" he knew that she had tried to knock. He wanted to help so he opened the door.
Meredith walked into his office. She looked around and noticed the pictures from her childhood. She smiled feeling loved by a man who was of no relation to her. He was the step in father that made her able to love others. If it wasn't for him she would have become isolated and alone.
He didn't waste time and walked over and pulled her into his arms.
"I am so glad you came home" he cried. He wanted her to come home. Wanting to help pull her through this difficult time. When the news came of Allan's death. It had tore him up knowing that his little girl would have to say goodbye. Say goodbye to her love. To put away the wedding dress and all the plans that they had shared together.
"How's Adelle?" Meredith asked wiping the tears that fell from her eyes.
"She wants you to come over for dinner. Once your settled" Richard wanted her to come over as well.
"That sounds nice" Meredith loved Adelle. She always treated her like a daughter.
"So I have all of the paper work ready. Are you sure that you are ready?" Richard wanted to make sure.
"I may never be ready. If I don't try I will regret it though. Allan wouldn't want me to not try" she knew he would be disappointed if she didn't at least try.
Richard walked behind his desk. He grabbed the paper work and handed it to her. While she signed off on it. He grabbed her badge and handed it to her. "Welcome aboard. Meredith if you need anything let me know" he didn't want to give her special treatment. In his book she was special.
"Thanks" she smiled.
"Starting next week. You will have your own group of interns. For this week you will work with Christina. Share her interns." he smiled knowing that it would make her happy. Christina was her person.
"Thanks" she added once again. She gave him another hug and walked out of his office. She took a deep breath and set off to find Christina.
Till I can make it on my own. Martina McBride
I'll need time to get you off my mind. And I may sometimes bother you try to be in touch with you.
Even ask to much of you from time to time.
Now and then. Lord, you know I'll need a friend.
Till I get used to losing you let me keep on using you
Till I can make it on my own.