Title:Obsession
Summary:He liked watching her. Her laughter, the way she twirled her red hair, and how she tried to be strong for everyone else. He watched as she mourned the loss of loved ones, watched as she moved out, moved on with her life. He was content to look at her, until she walked right back into Harry Potter's arms. Ginny Weasley would live to regret it, if it was the last thing he did.
Rating:Mature
Characters:Ginny, Harry, Neville, Hermione, and Ron
Obsession
Part One
September 24, 1998
Tears streamed down her face as the reality of her situation sunk in. The ropes around her hands were too tight, chafing her wrists bloody. The cool blade teased her, gently tracing her neck and collarbone. The blade pressed into her harder, blood spilling behind it. She would have screamed, but she had already lost her voice.
It started with a letter.
Thank you.
June 5, 1998
Ginny Weasley was a mess. The war had been won, but at what cost? Her brother George was a shade of the person he once was, lost the one person that mattered most. The Burrow was an uncomfortable house to live in, each Weasley trying to deal with his death in his or her own way. Ginny dreamed of the day could she move out. Leave the grief behind. Move on.
"Ginny, do you need help with the dishes?" Hermione Granger asked.
She moved over to give Hermione access. Although magic cleaned the dishes quickly, it tended to leave the dishes with gobs of food smeared on them. Washing them the muggle way ensured that the dishes were actually clean. It took Ginny a few minutes to build up her courage.
"Thank you for bringing them home safely," she said, her tone low.
Hermione looked up, "I didn't bring them home safely, we did it together. I would have been killed if not for Harry and Ron."
Jealousy flared up, but Ginny kept her composure. She did love Hermione, like a sister, but she couldn't help but hate her a little bit too. Hermione was always going on about doing the right thing, following the rules, and she was always included in Harry and Ron's adventures. Her family changed once they met Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. Their normal family had been thrust into the center of the war instead of playing quidditch and only worrying about everyday things. Sure they had been broke, Ron never shut up about it, but they had been family.
Now her family revolved around Harry. Her mother sought Hermione for advice on the boys. They bonded over trying to keep the boys out of trouble, while Hermione insulted purebloods and their traditions, ignoring the fact that the Weasleys were purebloods. Ginny knew she was being ridiculous, but she missed being the only girl. She missed the way her family had been before the war. Ginny knew that there was no going back, but it still hurt.
"Well I'm glad," Ginny replied tense, finishing the last dish, and walked away.
Before she left the kitchen, Hermione spoke, "He missed you. He never said it, but I could tell."
Ginny gave a short nod before going outside. She hated how imperfect Hermione made her feel. The cool air felt heavenly on her skin as she walked past the gardens. The moon was nearly full and she shuddered at how many werewolves Voldemort's army had created. She wondered how many people would suffer in a few days.
"Ginny," his voice made her pause, but she did not want to turn around. He was too alluring; her guard would crumble. "I'm glad you're safe."
"Thank you, Harry. I'm glad you're safe as well," she said, forcing herself to start walking.
"Wait! I mean- Ginny. I missed you. Every day. I wanted-" Harry started to say before stopping.
She turned around and regretted it. His green eyes were unguarded, bright, intense, and filled with longing and regret. Bags surrounded his eyes and he was still too skinny.
"Don't," Ginny said, "You made your feelings clear when you broke up with me. I'm tolerating you here because my family loves you."
"But… I thought-" he had spent too much time with Ron, picking up Ron's awkwardness around girls.
"What did you expect? That when you returned I would greet you with open arms like we never broke up in the first place?" Ginny asked before giving a sarcastic laugh, "You did. Let me make this clear for you, Harry. You broke my heart. You shattered it. I don't care what your intentions were; you broke my heart. I would have faced Voldemort himself, gone to the end of the world for you! You took Ron and Hermione along, why wasn't I important enough? I can't do this right now."
Ginny stormed away from a surprised Harry Potter. She couldn't go home. She couldn't face the grief of her family, Hermione's perfection, and Harry's brooding. She disappeared with a pop.
Neville Longbottom opened the door, "Ginny? What was the first thing you told me at Hogwarts last year?"
"You have grown up well, Mr. Longbottom. Can I come in?" Neville opened the door and she followed him through the corridors until they reached a sitting room.
"What happened?" Neville asked as tea appeared on the table in front of them.
Grateful, Ginny reached for the delicate cup of tea and sank back into the chair.
"It's Harry. No it's everyone. I can't live at the Burrow anymore. It has become a museum. Everyone whispers, tiptoes around each other. I feel like I am going to be smothered in my own grief," Ginny said, fiddling with her hands, "What I wouldn't give for just one explosion coming from the twins' room."
Neville reached out and stopped her hands, "And Harry?"
She set her tea down, stood up and started pacing, unable to sit still.
"I am so angry with him. I think I'm the only one in the world who is angry with Harry fucking Potter, but I want to kill him! He came back expecting things to be exactly the same as before he left. It's like he doesn't care about what happened to me in the past year, like it didn't happen. Harry, Hermione, and Ron are going to get all the credit for winning this war, when we risked our lives every day to protect our peers. How many first years did we smuggle out of the castle, Neville? I don't care about the fame, the money, but I want some recognition about the risks we took. But it's still the same as ever. Oh Ginny is too young, Ginny wouldn't understand," she said collapsing on the couch, "Everyone is fawning over Hermione and no one has realized that she's not the only one who has been tortured."
If she had been in her right mind, Ginny would have felt sorry for Neville. She knew that she was difficult to deal with when she was upset, but Ginny knew that he would understand. Everyone thought that it had only been Neville that had led the resistance at Hogwarts, but Ginny and Neville had been partners.
"Look, Gin. You're never going to be one of them. It sucks, but it's the truth. Growing up, I always wanted to be a part of their adventures. I would go out of my way to be nice to them or help them, hoping they would think of me the next time danger passed. They did it one time, as I'm sure you remember. It wasn't until after they were gone that I realized that cold, hard truth. That's when I became my own person. Yes, what we did at Hogwarts will never be in the history books, but we know what we did. Those we saved, who were there, know what we did. That is what matters at the end of the day," he said and she realized how much he had grown up this past year.
"You're right. You're right; I'm being selfish for wanting that recognition. Part of me doesn't want to let go of fitting in with them. I don't want to feel like I wasted my life trying to get Harry to like me, to notice me. I just don't know what to do anymore," she admitted, taking a sip of the lukewarm tea.
They sat in silence. Neville was staring out at the window, noticing the full moon was approaching. Not many people realized what was coming, realized that the Carrows sent little boys to Greyback. Her and Neville smuggled out those that were marked for that occasion, but a few boys had slipped through their fingers. She gave Neville's hand a squeeze. The appropriate people have been told and would help them with their transition.
"Why don't you move out? You know you're always welcome here," he offered.
"Then my mother would start accosting us with wedding plans and asking us about grandchildren. I wouldn't wish that on you. I've been thinking about moving out, but I'm not sure," she admitted, "I have enough money saved, but I had saved it for my career, whether it was opening up my own business or training."
Unlike Ron, Ginny had decided to be proactive about her financial situation. She had worked odd jobs over the years helping the neighbours, babysitting, and had put the money in her own Gringott's account. It wasn't much, but it was a start. She would need to find a job as soon as she moved out.
"How have you been? It is strange not seeing you every day," Ginny said and settled herself comfortably.
Ginny spent the next few hours catching up with Neville, not realizing that her family was in a panic over her absence. When she returned home, she would find a letter on her bed. Not knowing whom it came from; she burned it.
Thank you.
July 1, 1998
"I think that's the last of it," Luna Lovegood said shutting the door.
"Thank you for your help, Luna. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it," Ginny said as she motioned to Luna to sit on her newly enlarged couch, "Would you like something to drink?"
"An iced tea would be lovely," Luna said.
The sound of laughter trailed in through the open window. Luna changed after the war. She was still confident and had imagination, but she no longer had that dreamy look. She had stopped searching for undocumented magical creatures no one believed existed. The war had taken her innocence. But sometimes, a flash of the old Luna would come through and Ginny hoped it was a sign that Luna would be okay. That they would all be okay.
"How have you been?" Ginny asked as she gave Luna the iced tea.
She smiled, "Good, Daddy is taking me on a trip to North America next month. It will be nice to spend time with him. Is your family still angry with you?"
"You will have to tell me the date so that I can send you off. My mother's furious. They stopped talking to me, treating me like I'm turning my back on them. I can't believe some of the things Ron is saying. What Hermione sees in him, I don't know," Ginny said, rubbing her eyes.
"They will forgive you. Have you seen the engagement, marriage, and new arrivals section of The Daily Prophet?" Luna asked, "It's bigger than the news section."
"Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass. Theodore Nott and Cho Chang. Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson. Even Ron dug out our family heirlooms to find Hermione an engagement ring," Ginny told her.
Luna's eyes widened, "Do you think she'll accept?"
"I have seen her sneak a peek at the bridal magazines my mum has been buying. For as much as she claims to be rational, she's a girl just like the rest of us."
The girls were quiet. Ginny started mentally going through what she had to do around her apartment. Her mother had yelled at her for the past month, Ron told her she wouldn't last a week before moving back to the Burrow. Percy looked at her with a hint of respect, but they had never been close. Harry had kept his distance after their fight.
"When were you going to tell me about those letters you've been receiving?" Luna asked.
Ginny felt her jaw drop open in surprise; Luna was as perceptive as always.
July 10, 1998
She was in the middle of making a stir-fry when someone knocked on her door. Putting a stasis spell on her food, Ginny walked to the door. After peeking through the peephole, she reluctantly opened the door.
"Harry, this is a surprise," she said with a forced smile.
"Can we talk?" he asked, face stern.
Ginny let him pass, shut the door, and locked it. Rumour had it that he was dating a former Beauxbatons student. She couldn't deny that she was jealous, but it wasn't her place. Neville told her that Harry would be starting Auror training soon.
The bags under his eyes had disappeared, he had put on weight, and there was fire in his gaze when he looked at her. He was attractive, smart, and confident. Ginny shifted uncomfortably and gestured for him to sit down. He didn't.
"I realize that I was an idiot the last time we talked. It wasn't fair for me to expect you to put your life on hold while you waited for my return. Neville told me some of the things you did and I am so proud of you, Ginny," he said and she felt goose bumps spread across her skin.
"Thank you, Harry. It means a lot to hear you say that," she said, torn between being slightly pleased or angry that Neville went behind her back.
"Would you like to go on a date with me?" he asked and put his fingers over her lips before she could protest, "It's clear we aren't the same people we used to be before I left, but I would like to get to know you again. We could start back at square one. I just can't leave this without trying."
Ginny wanted to run away, pretend this had never happened. He had left her, broken her heart, saying it was for the greater good. Girls spit at her on the street, because the gossip columns claimed that Ginny had broken the Boy-Who-Won's heart.
But the longer she was around him, the more she remembered why she fell for him in the first place. His emerald eyes lighting up playing quidditch. The way he ate his vegetables first, always. Making sure that everyone felt included in the group, yet never taking the spotlight. How he smiled at her and only at her, when he thought no one else was looking.
His green eyes watched her, looking for a reaction. You broke my heart. Yes, but he was trying to fix it. Could she trust him? Could she let him back in?
"One date. That's all I'm promising," Ginny said, "Would you like to stay for lunch?"
"Thank you, Ginny. I'm starving. Why are all the curtains shut?" Harry asked as he walked towards the window.
Before she had a moment to protest, he wrenched the curtains open, a blinding light filling the room. She couldn't stop her fingers from shaking, but thankfully, Harry didn't notice.
Maybe she had gotten away with it. Maybe he had given up. It wasn't until Harry left that she found the note on her bed.
I thought you were smarter than this. Harry Potter will be your destruction.
August 15, 1998
"I don't think I'm going to make it to my bed," Ginny said as she took a seat beside her friends, "I can't believe I thought I was in shape before we started reconstructing Hogwarts."
Harry put his arm around her, "Just think, you'll be in top form when you start the training camp in a few weeks."
"So it's true, you guys are…" Dennis said gesturing between Harry and Ginny.
"Yes, Dennis. We're back together," Ginny said leaning into Harry.
Ron put his arms around Hermione. "It was about bloody time."
Hermione lightly smacked his arm, but didn't protest his use of language. The ruby ring on Hermione's finger glinted in the light. The engagement had taken no one by surprise. Her mother and Hermione split their time planning and fighting about the wedding. It made Ginny grateful that she had moved out and made her dread her own wedding day.
She interlocked her fingers with Harry's and gave his hand a squeeze. She appreciated his presence. The letters were starting to come more often now. At first they had been friendly, if not slightly obsessive. Commenting on things she had bought that day and places she had been. Ginny hadn't mentioned it to anyone, because she knew that Harry, Ron, and Hermione were getting even more fan mail than she was and would brush it off.
Ginny had seen what Voldemort could do first hand, being at his mercy with the journal. She knew the dangers of the written word, but she hesitated. She didn't want to be seen as the victim, didn't want others to think she couldn't take care of herself. Ginny hoped that if she ignored the letters, they would go away. They never did.
In fact, they got worse.
The latest one had her scared.
We will finally meet soon. I can't wait to hear you scream.
The sun started to set.
"We should get going. I still have to go through centerpieces for the wedding tonight," Hermione said getting up.
Ron brushed the grass off of her, "See you guys tomorrow."
"We should get going too," Harry said as he helped Ginny up. With a smile, Ginny followed Harry to the apparition point after saying goodbye to everyone.
With a pop, they arrived outside of her building. Goosebumps erupted over her skin as she felt a pair of eyes on her. Looking around, she couldn't pinpoint where she was being watched. It was most likely in her head. Harry shut the door behind them, locked it, and Ginny stepped on her tippy toes, her lips brushing his.
Harry dragged her closer towards him, her breasts crushed against him, hands hot on her hips. He kissed her, deep, long, and she couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. Wanted nothing more than to be with him. They had held off on having sex, because Ginny hadn't been ready. Harry started pulling away, but her hand was in his messy, black hair, preventing him from pulling away from her completely.
I love you.
His emerald eyes pierced her soul and she knew that she wanted to do this, would regret it if she didn't. Her hazel eyes met his. Then he kissed her, so suddenly, so completely, she feels like she is going to burst.
His hand grabs her ass; her hand traces his torso before resting on his hip. There's an aggressiveness to his touches, an urgency that had never been there before, that she couldn't get enough of.
Somehow they made it to her bedroom, articles of clothing disappearing before they reached the bed. They didn't get much sleep before heading back to Hogwarts the next day to resume the reconstruction.
All thoughts of confiding in Harry forgotten.
September 19, 1998
"What the hell is this?" Harry asked as he grabbed the latest letter she had received.
Sighing, Ginny took it from his hand and read it before letting it burst into flames.
I dream of the moment the fight leaves your eyes, when you will surrender to me.
She walked out of the room, grabbed a mug, and poured herself a cup of tea. Taking a deep breath and releasing it. Harry's footsteps pounded towards her and she knew she had to calm down. He would have questions and she didn't want him to know how much this person scared her and how she was starting to fear for her life.
"Well?" Harry asked as he joined her in the kitchen.
Ginny gripped the teacup, "I think I have a stalker."
"How long has this been going on for?" he said firmly, but his white knuckles gripping the back of her chair gave away how furious he was.
She turned to look out the window, unable to look at him. She didn't want to see his disappointment, didn't want to see him decide she was more trouble than she was worth.
"It started the day we fought. The letters weren't anything bad at first. The writer thanked me, would compliment me, or mention how he saw me at a certain location. The letters always appeared on my bed. I don't know how he gets them there, but no matter what wards I put up, the letters are always waiting," she said before trailing off, trying to gather he thoughts.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Harry asked.
"It wasn't bad back then. We all were getting fan mail at the time. I thought he would get bored and stop writing. Once I accepted going on that first date with you, the letters started to change. That's when he started threatening me," she said leaning on the counter.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.
She looked out her window, wondering where her stalker was hiding. Because that's what he had become.
"I was tired of being the victim. I wanted to be able to handle this myself, to protect myself. I was going to tell you when his words changed, but it was never the right time, " Ginny said turning around, hazel eyes meeting green, "I was going to tell you, Harry. I love you and I trust you."
Harry didn't say anything. His face had gone blank and she wanted to hug him, kiss him until he smiled again. But, she knew him. Harry hated to be touched when he was upset, stemming from never being physically comforted as a child.
"I can't do this," he said, "I can't fucking do this anymore."
Ginny froze at his words, the world stopping, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Harry looked at her one last time, before turning around. The world started turning again so quickly that her stomach lurched. He was getting further away from her, her slender legs barely able to keep up. He was on the street and had reached the apparition point.
"Harry! Harry! Stop! You can't just say that and walk away," Ginny shouted, her chest heaving, "Don't you dare leave without an explanation!"
He turned around with such fury, that she took a step back.
"Why not? You've been hiding things from me this whole time we've been dating! I thought that I could trust you, Ginny. Was I ever good enough for you? I could accept not wanting to get back together when I returned, but hiding something like this from me? I could have found him. I could have kept you safe!"
"It always has to be about you, never about what I want, whatI need. This has nothing to do with you or how I feel about you! Has it occurred to you that I want to fight my own battles? During the war everyone tried to protect me, which I appreciate, but no one let me protect the people I loved. You left me behind, my parents forbade me from fighting, sending me to Hogwarts. Only Neville believed in me, let me help him because he's the only one who understands what it feels like to be left behind. To not be good enough, strong enough, old enough," Ginny said, her fury rising with every word, "This guy was harmless at first and I wanted the chance to protect myself, to keep myself safe! I was going to tell you when it got out of hand, but you beat me to it!"
They stood face-to-face, chests rising and falling, eyes hard. Harry looked away first.
"I'm sorry. I'm just scared. I thought that once the war was over, we would all be safe. I love you and I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you," he said reaching out for her.
She looked away from him, ignoring his hand, "A temper tantrum was the best way to show that? Threatening to break up with me?"
Harry quickly took a step towards her and grabbed her waist. She felt the tears in her eyes, her body shaking, felt like there was a gap between them that had never been there before. He kissed her and she let herself go limp in his grasp, grabbing his face and trying to memorize every inch of him. Ginny lost herself in the moment, but had to pull away when his hand moved towards her butt. His brow was furrowed as she took a step away from him.
"You were right, Harry. We can't do this anymore. I love you, I really do, but we bring out the worst in each other right now," she said, releasing a breath.
Harry's green eyes flared up in anger again, "Then what was that? Goodbye?"
He waited for her answer, but she had none to give. Ginny was exhausted. She didn't want to continue to fight. She watched him as he apparated away promising to finish this conversation tomorrow. Taking a quick look down the dark street, Ginny ran back into her apartment building, up the stairs, bolted the door shut, and activated her wards.
Two months. They had been dating for two months and already they were fighting. Weren't couples supposed to go through a honeymoon phase? But she already knew deep down that this wouldn't work. Harry needed to save people, that was who he was. She loved him for it, but she needed something else. Ginny needed someone who would give her the strength to fight her own battles, someone who believed in her. Not someone who wanted to take care of her.
Ginny froze when she heard the kettle start to whistle. She vividly remembers emptying the kettle when she poured herself a tea as she waited for Harry to come into the kitchen. The kettle starting screeching louder and louder and she knew she would have to go shut it off before a fire started. Maybe she had forgotten to turn it off. Harry had come into the room very suddenly and she had been distracted. She was being ridiculous.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Ginny entered the kitchen and pointed her wand towards the kettle, sending it to the counter. Her neck itched, and then her wand was flying behind her. She wasn't alone and only her and Harry had access. Spinning around, she was just able to distinguish that a male stood in the room before everything went dark.
Author's Note: This might be one of the darkest things that I have written and the first time I have written from Ginny's perspective. It will be a two chapter story. I am tweaking my writing style and would love some feedback. Was this chapter too choppy? Did it flow well? Too little or too much description? Let me know!
Also, I did bold the dates but it doesn't seem to be showing up. Any suggestions?