Some days were better than others. He could lose himself in a mission, or training with the idiot. Other days he would remember; he would sit inside his too big house and sulk. He often thought about going on a S-rank mission, a suicide mission to specify.
His daughter was the only one holding him back. She was the only light in his life now that her mother, his wife, had passed away.
"…Father?"
Sasuke looked up and smiled at his 13 year old. She stood in the doorway, hair messy from sleeping.
"Aunty Hinata and uncle Naruto are at the door," she mumbled cutely, and stared questionably at him with big, innocent eyes. Sasuke only nodded and stood up.
"I´ll be back soon," he murmured while pressing a kiss at the crown of her head. "Have fun, alright?" His daughter only responded with a nod and a half-hearted smile, wich left his chest aching. She knew very well where he was going.
His weekly trips were common knowledge inKonoha, so no one tried to stop him when he walked out of the village gate. Even though no one dared show looks of pity directly to his face, he could feel the burn of their stares as he walked to the usual spot.
His destination was a couple of miles outside of Konoha, so it wouldn´t take long if he used his chakra enhanced speed.
But he prefered to walk – it cleared his mind.
….
He watched her the entire time, he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks. He saw the way her eyes lit up when he had presented the ring too her. And he saw her smile. A sad smile.
"…hn?"
To say he was confused was an understatement. He was lost, he didn´t know what that meant.
"You know…" She growled, and swatted him playfully on the chest. "People usually express their feelings when they propose…" She raised an eyebrow and narrowed her eyes, tears allready gone from her gorgeous face. The only evidence that she had been crying was the stains on her cheeks.
"At the very least, you could ask me to marry you, instead of just showing a ring in my face."
He looked at her and scowled. Why did she make everything so goddamn difficult? She knew he loved her, more than anything. Why did she insist on hearing him say every little thing. It was a waste of words, and time.
"You´re annoying…" He mumbled and took her hand in his, and before she could react the diamond ring was on her finger. "I love you." He quickly added when he saw her eyes glinting with anger. Her beautiful, emerald eyes. It was funny how fast her moods could change. She could be enraged, on a killer spree even, and if you said the right words, she would melt and flash you her most beautiful smile.
She was never boring. She was intruiging. She was intelligent. She was gorgeous. She was kind. She was the best field medic nin on the planet. She was annoying. She was Sakura, and he wouldn´t have her any other way.
He would spend the rest of his life with her. They would grow old together, and have as many children as possible.
They would live togehter, love eatchother, and cherish every secound of it.
How wrong he was.
….
Their wedding had been spectacular. It wasn´t by any means the big, white wedding everyone expected it to be. Quite the contrary, it was a small gathering of their friends and family. The seromoni was beautiful none the less, and everyone was in tears at the end of Sasukes vows, surprisingly enough. Later they had a party, where the best of konoha shinobi enjoyed themselves with drinks and … eachother.
No one mentioned the unexpected hook up, Gai and Anko - not that Anko would let anyone say anything. She would probably skin the poor person alive.
After the events he and his wife had went to their long awaited honeymoon in Yugakure, and stayed there for a whole month.
Eventually reality hit in, and they had to return to their respective post in Konohagakure. Both being in ANBU, their schedule was quite full, but manageable. Most of their missions were at the same time, so they were always home at the same time – Thanks to the Hokage of course.
Both of them had cut back on the more dangerous missions, only going when it was absolutely crucial, or when their skills were requested for the mission.
It didn´t get any easier though. Every time he kissed her goodbye, and watched her run off to her next mission, he couldn´t help but worry. Worrying about never seeing her again.
She always came back to him, and he to her.
…
"Sasuke?" His wife murmured sleepily, and poked the hand that was stroking her back so lovingly. "I can´t sleep when you´re doing that." She grumbled and shivered.
"That´s the point." He chuckled and smiled at her, the ones only she would witness. The smiles that was reserved for her, and her only.
"I love you…" She tried, and opened a eye to look at him. She had learned that she had an unexpected control over the Uchiha. He loved to see her happy, and tried his best to make sure she was.
"Hn"
She pouted and looked up at him with her big, emerald eyes. Silently begging him to say it back to her.
"…You know I love you too." He grunted, and smirked slightly. "I´ll let you know the day I don´t" The smirk turned into a grin, then a laugh at the grimace Sakura made.
"You´re horrible," She mumbled, while snuggling closer to him and absorbing his warmth. This was the best time of the day – the mornings. Them just lying there in each others arms, after a passionate night. It was a fairytale that would never end.
"By the way – I´m kind off pregnant"
Sasukes eyes flew open and he stared. Just stared. How could she be kind off pregnant? Was she sleeptalking? Goddamnit, now she was asleep and he couldn´t bring himself to wake her even though every celle in his body screamed at him to do so.
It turned out to be true, she was pregnant. And 9 months later she gave birth to a little girl. The first of many children to come, he thought.
…
Sasuke walked on autopilot. He knew this route as well as his own pocket. He had walked this path to many times to forget it.
He always walked, he never ran. It wasn´t like he was in a hurry to get to the clearing, he didn´t even know why he went to the place. It was torture. Maybe he enjoyed the pain, deserved it even.
After a while he reached his destination, and sat down next to a tree. Sasuke just sat there, staring at nothing, thinking of nothing, for what seemed like an eternity.
"Sakura…" He breathed and bit his lip, not letting the tears go. He came to this clearing because they had found her here. He had found her here. He didn´t know why he came here, it just felt… right.
It wasn´t the only place he came to talk to her. He also went to the memorial stone with Kakashi every morning, mourning in silence with his old sensei. Another place was her grave, where he usually met Naruto or someone else visiting her grave. She was well loved and admired, Konoha suffered a great loss the day she died.
But he suffered greater.
She had been taken away at the age of 29, their daughter only 7 years old. It was supposed to be her last ANBU S-class mission. She had decided to quit ANBU, and go on missions as a jounin instead. She was supposed to run the hospital next to Tsunade so she could be home more with their daughter. He was going to do the same, quit ANBU, so he could focus on his family and clan.
A shaky breath escaped him. He shouldn´t have let her go.
…
He and his ANBU squas was patroling the outskirts of the village, due to lack of missions. It was a sunny day, not a cloud on the sky. It was close to 30 degrees, but the restless wind made it seem cooler.
"I see something," murmured the byakugan user of the group, and they all came to a halt. Sasuke turned and motioned for him to speak up. "Konoha shinobi. A couple of kilometers from here. I see a lot of blood.". The Hyuugas words was all it tok for the squad to shoot forward with incredible speed. They could only hope they reached the shinobi in time.
It didn´t take long before they could see the trail of blood that led them to the owner. "Shin, Akimine. Search the area. Hyuuga stay with me." Was his only commando as they entered the clearing, and he froze.
Her pink hair was horribly familiar, even though most of her hair was drenched in blood. Her ANBU uniform was in tatters, and her mask cracked. The only thing that was still intack was her forehead protector – he took it, and showed it in his pocket.
"I can take care of the rest, Uchiha." The Hyuuga said silently, knowing who the woman was. Sasuke didn´t trust himself to speak right now, so he only nodded before scooping Sakura up in his arms.
On his way back to Konoha, he let the tears fall on her broken body. His mask discarded at the scene, and hers removed so he could see her face.
"Sakura…" He choked and shook his head, he didn´t know what to do. He felt empty, abandoned….
suicidal.
…
It had taken him a long time to start living again, and the only reason was his daughter. Naruto had beaten the crap out of him, screamed at him for neglecting her. It was a wake up call. He still wasn´t over Sakuras death, but he hid it well in front of his daughter. He didn´t let the sadness and grief into their home, he focused on their family.
By now their daughter was a proper young lady with black hair and eyes, but had inherited her mothers features and temperament. They were so similiar that it was frightening, heartbreaking and utterly wonderful. He loved her with all his heart, and showed enough affection to fill the void. Because Sakura would want her to be raised in a loving home, that didn´t shun emotions.
Sasuke sighed and smiled a little, thinking back to easier times. "I wish you could see her, Sakura." He mumbled and looked up at the sky. It had been a couple of years since she had died, but he never stopped mourning her. Sakura had changed him for the better. She had loved him unconditionally from the age of 11, til the day she died.
"I love you, Sakura!"