Ice Can Heal A Broken Heart
A/N : I had a stroke of genius whilst on holiday and began writing another fanfiction. This time it's a GrayLu and has a lot of dark themes and imagery, so a quick warning now, there are the delicate issues like suicide and rape, so if you do not wish to read about that, then this is not the story for you.
Disclaimer: Hiro Mashima owns fairy tail and would definitely not approve of my plot line this time.
Chapter 1
Lucy's POV
It felt like it was happening all over again. HE was there, and I was tied up and naked to my own bed. Writhing and struggling to get free. I had screamed so hard through the gag he had put on me, that my throat had bled. He battered and beat me with punches and slaps, each worse than the one before. Telling me to stop being so pathetic. I didn't understand and when I went to make a noise, all that escaped was a whimper, muffled by the bed sheet tied around my mouth.
I was dreading what was coming as I saw him remove his clothing, piece by piece. Slowly and deliberately taunting me. Letting me know exactly what was to come. He set each article of clothing down neatly, contrasting against the way he had trashed my room apart. He had my keys too, and I daren't think about what he had done with them. Imagining them at the bottom of the ocean or hidden in a cave far away.
I was snapped out if my reverie as I felt a weight shift onto my bed. Again focusing on the situation that confronted me. He looked at me and sneered, "If you'd had just agreed, it wouldn't have come to this now, would it?" He gave me a malicious grin as he lined himself up. When he did this I began struggling more violently, desperately clutching to what I knew he wanted. Instead of just hitting me, this time he used his magic, and I screamed, damaging my throat further. But he got what he wanted. I had stopped struggling, exhausting the remainders of my energy as I laid there silently crying. That was when he thrust upwards, and broke the barrier of my virginity. Stealing what I had saved for the one I loved. This man had made me worthless to others.
The pain from my hymen and his continuous thrusts into my vagina permeated through my body, but he didn't stop, he just continued, ripping me apart inside. I could feel the blood running down, a lot more than there should be. And he said that line again. The one that plagued each and every thought whenever somebody spoke about him, or I saw him in the guild. He acts completely normal, despite the things he has done to me.
I woke up in a cold sweat; panting and screaming into my pillow, as the memory invaded my dreams again, turning it into a recurring nightmare that haunts me day and night. Feeling my stomach protest, I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, bending over the toilet. I almost fell over from my legs being asleep, but as soon as I reached the bowl, my stomach emptied its contents until bile came up.
I had only eaten a small amount that evening as I have had no appetite since that time. After a while, I stopped dry heaving and I collapsed to the floor, sobbing and heaving in gigantic breaths to try and calm down. Eventually, the misery and self-pity subsided, leaving only anger and hatred behind. I stood up and stomped over to my sink, grabbing at my toothbrush and toothpaste, and scrubbing frantically at my mouth to rid it of the awful taste of puke.
I stood staring at my reflection for a good twenty minutes when a thought crossed my mind. I'm filthy, I thought to myself, and so I filled my bath tub with scalding hot water. I stripped out of my pajamas and practically jumped into the water, hissing at the heat emanating from it. I grabbed my flannel and lathered it in vanilla scented lotion; I scrubbed it into my body, scratching my heat damaged skin until I had started to bleed in places.
The sight of blood brought another thought to my head, one I had already begun reaching for. I reached out tone box that contained everything I may need for a bath: shampoo, conditioner, body lotion and the one I was reaching for now. The single razor blade, hidden underneath all of the excess products. Just like that one memory, hidden beneath fake smiles and happiness. Grasping the razor, I ran the blade in a familiar motion, horizontally across my wrist, each one relieving a little bit of tension and emotional pain, as if it were an outlet for my pent up emotions.
It felt good to relieve the pain, but this time it wasn't enough, I could still see his sneer at me. Filthy, disgusting, worthless, unsure me. After these thoughts, my mind was set. I couldn't take anymore, what kind of living is this? Living in fear and fake emotions. It isn't a life. So I should just as we'll end it. None of my nakama cared enough to notice the change in me.
Changing my grip on the razor, I dug it deep, running it vertically this time. I winced but I wasn't going to stop. It only took a mere thirty seconds, for the blade to slip from my fingers, and for the blackness to overwhelm me. I was floating in it, the darkness, when I heard yelling and banging. I could hear my name and somebody cursing, but I couldn't reply, couldn't move, I was trapped.
The fear came again, stronger. What had I done? My nakama do care, why on earth would I think they didn't? They had been the family I never had. So I stopped giving up, and struggled to regain consciousness. As I did this, little things came back to me, first was the pain of bleeding out, and then the crushing guilt at what I had tried to do.
One thing confused me though, I was shivering and my arms were freezing, feeling like they had a block of lead attached. Managing to open my eyes slightly, I saw raven hair and a worried expression. Though blurred, I knew exactly who it was, so I worked up enough energy to croak out his name, "Gray." He obviously heard me because his reply was frantic and desperate, "Lucy! Don't worry, I'll get you help at the guild, I'll find Wendy and she'll heal you." At this I started to hyperventilate, so I opened my eyes as wide as I could, to show him how terrified I was if going there.
He saw this and nodded, so he picked me up against his now bare chest, and I couldn't help but notice how warm he was, despite being an ice Mage. So I held on tighter and snuggled myself into it, as he put a blanket on me to make up for my nudity. That was when I lost consciousness again. Though I could hear him whisper quietly into my ear, "I'll take you to Chelia at Lamia Scale, she'll be able to heal you, just hold on, please." His voice broke on the last word and that broke my heart.
A/N: well, that turned out to be a little darker than I had first expected but as soon as I started typing, I just couldn't stop. 0.o please tell me what you thought through the reviews or PM's please. Arigatou!