- 1 - 1 - 1 -
Perched comfortably on a stone outcropping, a young boy sat with his eyes closed and an almost serene expression locked on his face; an expression that, in all honesty, scared the blazes out of his hidden watchers nearby.
The stone perch of the vertically challenged child was in itself actually the very tip of an enormous spike of hair. The hairstyle, mirrored in nearly identical sun-kissed blonde locks by the seated boy in his hero-worship, was connected to the stern face of a man deceased for over a dozen years. Yet despite his less than recent sojourn into the Great Beyond, the man the stone was carved in effigy of still remained the subject of boogeyman tales and shuddered memories through much of the Elemental Nations. Even allied nations included.
Sitting with his legs swaying haphazardly in the rising winds along the cliff-face, the twelve or thirteen year old child wearing a hideous bright orange jumpsuit did not exactly create the same fearsome presence as his hero the Yondaime when the fearsome ninja still yet lived.
His expression, strangely, did create an equal level of shudders and silent prayers to the great Log, Kami, and even (from the freak of the group) Jashin to spare the poor saps whatever vile scheme the boy's diabolical mind managed to settle on. Having watched, guarded, and protected the child for roughly four years each between the squad of four hidden and masked ANBU members, they each were intimately aware that the boy only settled on such a serene look when the unholy terror managed to come with truly fearsome pranks to unleash on the suspecting yet unprepared village below.
One such example, being the last time the demonic child adopted such a look, still created nervous twitches throughout two-thirds of the East Sector merchants and the entire Inuzuka Clan to this day. Suffice it to say there were pheromones, the Aburame Clan's entire swarm, and far too many watermelons to count involved. The Inuzuka even petitioned (and were granted) assistance from the aged Hokage in having their Clan's involvement in the matter sealed as a matter of Village security.
All because a few merchants got pushy and a single beta pup with an inferiority complex decided to take their aggressions out on the village pariah, momentarily forgetting in this foolishness his well-earned reputation as the Prankster King of Konoha.
Considering everything that occurred the previous night with the village's verbal punching bag, the very child the four hardened shinobi warriors now watched with trepidation, their fear was not exactly unfounded.
- 1 - 1 - 1 -
Despite his outwardly calm facade, one Uzumaki Naruto remained anything but calm, calm currently existed entirely as the anathema of his existence.
For once in the hellish twelve long years of the generally upbeat and positive young man's life, Naruto felt completely uncertain how exactly he should roll with the punches this time.
Since being (forcibly and literally) kicked out of the orphanage at age four, Naruto always strove to become the very poster child for optimism. The villagers ignored him and glared at him? Fine. He just donned his trademark orange jumpsuit and smiled broadly in their faces. Jiji called it 'beating them with kindness'. He called it 'avoiding a beating'.
They tried to ban him from the Academy? Fine. He'll prove them ALL wrong and decided on becoming Hokage one day, just like his heroes the Shodaime, Nidaime, Jiji (to clarify, the Sandaime and ruling Hokage), and his personal favorite, the Yondaime (who's head his rump was currently resting on).
They banned him from stores and charged outrageous prices? Fine. One massively awesome pranking guide from the library later and he started putting the sorry sons-of-bitches out of business left and right.
But last night...
"YOU are the Kyuubi no Kitsune! You are the DEMON!"
Last night was different.
'So are you going to start dressing in dark clothes, get a duck-butt hairstyle, and start saying Hn all the time ni-san?'
Yep. Extremely different.
'I'm stuck in this just like you are ni-san.'
How else would one explain finding out that not only was one shunned his entire life by something so far beyond his control it wasn't even funny, but that it was entirely possible ALL of their fears were completely and utterly wrong.
Possibly.
'I'm not lying.' The sound seemed like bells…. chimes maybe?... It probably had something to do with the echo.
'And you can prove that how?' he asked, finally fed up with her nagging, having nothing to do with the fact that Naruto just realized he insulted himself.
Yes. Her.
Apparently, if the rather insistent voice in his head should be believed, the previous Kyuubi somehow ended up dead on the night of his birth, the night said Kyuubi just happened (from Jiji's story) to be sealed into Naruto by the Yondaime. Yet, should the newest voice in his head be believed, the demon-fox got itself sacrificed on the altar of the Death God by his mother.
'Of course you can believe me aniki. I AM your sister.'
Apparently to save the life of his sister that his possible mother didn't even know existed until the sealing of the so-called previous Kyuubi already began through the Fourth's sacrifice.
'Tou-san.' the lyrical voice interrupted again, intent on completely ignoring his attempts to ignore her.
'A... Ano?..' THAT was enough to derail the already disturbed jinchuriki.
'Tou-san. The Fourth was our FATHER.' she repeated rather smugly, a self-satisfied tremble in her tone.
Being the hyperactive, near limitless ball of energy that he was, such a revelation thrown out to Naruto could probably be construed as a mistaken act of War unto the God of Chaos with how the little hellfire would normally react in such a situation. Considering the life he's lived, and who was judge, jury, and executor of his fate, if such a bold statement was true Naruto would be somewhere between shouting it off the rooftops while pummeling who knows how many people already.
But.
A few factors affected the freakishly calm blonde. One, despite their physical similarities (something Naruto always prided himself on and one of the main factors in choosing the Fourth as his Hero) they were just that, similarities. Naruto was an orphan scorned by everyone. The very possibility of his being related to the Grade A Bad Ass Motha known as the Yondaime was laughable. It only took a momentary glance at all the bowing and scraping done by the civilian masses for his classmates, Clan Heirs like the teme, Kiba, and even Shino (despite the mass of idiots freaked out by his bugs) to know how blatantly dumb the idea was.
Further, what better way for the sadist fox to torture it's container than to bring up Naruto long buried dreams of being the lost heir of the Namikaze? The tortuous nights spent having wonderful dreams of the legend rising from the grave to protect his long lost son.
'Ni-san...' the gentle musical voice of his tenant whispered.
His tenant. Now there was a subject Naruto tried avoiding like the plague, or the entire Akimichi clan when one of 'escorts' tipped them off just whom managed to fill every scrap of food and drink they were serving for last year's Kyuubi Festival with medical grade laxatives ...acquired from the hospital's trash.
The Bastard. Or should that be Bitch?
'Stop...'
It would come as a surprise to even his continual shadows that there were a great many things Naruto raged at over the long lonely years of his troubled life. He raged at the villagers for their scorn and hate, the shinobi for their indifference, the clans for their 'Holier-than-thou' attitudes, and even Jiji for not letting him just abandon it all and leave the village when he was younger.
All of that paled in comparison to the current focus of his anger and rage.
'I'm sorry oni-san...' a muted voice echoed in his thoughts.
'Stop calling me that!' Naruto's voice boomed throughout his mind as he fought back an angry tremble at the traitorous inner voice.
He knew. He'd read the stories alongside his comrades at the Academy, and honestly, he loved every minute of it. Despite how disturbing some of the History lessons could be, it was almost like the story-time he'd once managed to watch in painful silence through the library window as a kid. So for once he soaked up the knowledge like a drifter finding an oasis in the desert.
Kitsune were cruel, heartless creatures that lived for nothing less than their own desires. The oni, because demons is what they were and would always be, could see into the very hearts of their victims to flaunt their deepest desires against the poor souls before literally tricking them into a hellish existence that when all the chips fell managed to be completely the humans fault.
Nature's demonic, inhuman, uncaring, heartless, vindictive, spiteful pranksters.
Naruto flinched internally when he remembered his own title in the village, one until today he'd been proud of as his OWN accomplishment. Now he could only wonder if it was in fact his own.
The unmoving boy nearly growled silently at the effort to ignore the sounds of quiet crying echoing from the depths of his mind, the soft musical tones ringing like a cacophony of broken bells in tune with his heartbeat. Crystalline blue eyes watered with unshed tears as the young jinchuriki raged against the world, his tenant, the people of the Village, the Yondaime, his Jiji, but most of all he raged against his own weakness.
Weakness the self-named 'Hana,' if that was even his tenant's name, seemed dead set on exploiting for all it was worth.
'It's true,' his tenant mumbled as she obviously choked back a small sob, 'I swear.'
Sighing internally with his mask firmly in place, the child sat silently for hours more that evening, raging against the hateful world, his fingers idly tracing the carved insignia of Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, he had finally managed to earn just a day prior. Funny how less than two days ago his entire world revolved around the simplistic subject of becoming a shinobi, since it happened to be a needed step on his path to become Hokage. Now, the blonde knuckle-head wondered just how long it would take to prove to the ignorant and spiteful people below that he remained Warden and Jail, never the Prisoner within his own body?
As darkness fell, and the sun set once more on the most peaceful ninja village within the Elemental Nations, still he sat unmoving, forcing his cramped and sore fingers to continue tracing the delicate contours which gave proof he was one step closer to his goal.
He WOULD be Hokage one day and NO-ONE would stop him.
Yesterday may have been very, VERY different, but he remained Uzumaki Naruto and NOTHING could take his dream from him.
As the boy sat in complete darkness, a familiar burning determination began to settle through his formerly lackluster and dull eyes.
Many people past, present, and future would give comment on his most endearing and annoying quality.
No matter what Fate throws in his path, Uzumaki Naruto never gives up and never gives in.
Only a single old man with sharp eyes piercing the darkness could bear witness to the growing power of the boy's resolve.
The man's only question however, would forever be 'Resolve go do what?'
- 1 - 1 - 1 - 1 -
"Report."
The crisp, no nonsense order delivered through long years of rote was by no means any less intense. The ANBU's superior didn't even bother turning from his post at the window, proving just how confident (or trusting) the aged Kage was with skills even after over eight decades of life. Showing one's back to a fellow ninja was a fast-track to death anywhere in the world, but the Sandaime wasn't named the God of Shinobi or the Professor without reason. Even in such a relatively relaxed stance, the ANBU mentally preparing his report could see nothing less than graceful perfection in the way his long-time leader stood. A man, no a legend, prepared to face any threat with brutal efficiency, even decades after he should have had to carry such burdens.
"It appears the Beast has made contact with the container..."
"Naruto," the wizened leader interrupted with a fond whisper, the faintest hints of menace in his placid grandfatherly voice, "His name is Naruto."
"Yes Hokage-sama. The con... err.. Naruto arrived in his nest at approximately zero, four hundred hours and started to lay down for the night. However, before it fell asleep, Naruto bolted upright claiming to hear voices. After a number of one-sided statements, the co... Naruto's appeared to become almost wistful before becoming positively charged with anger. So much that he began radiating rage laced chakra to an alarming degree. I was about to step in and subdue the Beast, but Bear detained me, stating that the was no presence of 'it's' chakra."
The elder Sarutobi frowned at his ANBU's choice of words, but the report was more important than chastising his ninja. "Continue."
"After finally going to sleep, it left the nest at roughly ten-hundred hours and dined at the ramen stand. Both the man and his daughter noticed the boy's oddly subdued mood until the food was served. At ten-thirty hours, the boy attempted to visit the Academy chunin, but was told the man was not allowing visitors."
"Was he?"
"Er... Yes Hokage-sama. The boy was given inaccurate information. Bear stated there were specific instructions for the child to be allowed to his room regardless of visiting hours, with your approval Hokage-sama."
If the kage noticed his shinobi's reluctance in giving such information about another person in need of an 'appointment' with Inoichi's replacement at the head of T&I, he gave no indication.
"Continue."
"The boy walked the outskirts of the village for a few hours before making another visit to the ramen stand. At precisely sixteen-hundred hours, the boy took up his current position and has not moved since other than to take off its forehead protector. It appears last night's events had more of an effect than initially assumed."
The elder ninja removed an aged and well-worn pipe from his robes and breathed out a tiny Katon jutsu to light his special blend of tobacco, if only to relax him for the assignment he would be forced to give after his subordinate's report was completed. Despite his desires, it was the only option, especially considering the prior evening's events. Throughout his motions honed through decades of habit, his sharp piercing eyes never left the unmoving speck of orange on top of the nearby mountain.
"Speaking of last night, CAPTAIN," Sarutobi casually mentioned, his grandfatherly tone in full force with a hint of amusement, "how exactly did my adopted grandson manage to not only evade his entire escort, but arrive unhindered within my tower?"
The questioned ninja stiffened noticeably. A considerable feat as he already stood at formal attention.
"IT... The boy took my team by surprise Hokage-sama. He opened his window to with his normal water bottle in hand to water the plants on the overhand. A single spray neutralized Mantis-kohai's agents with an odd mixture of rotted milk, soy sauce, and an unidentified agent. Without pausing he tossed four stink-bombs paced with the same agent before detonating a flash-bomb while using his most um... effective jutsu..."
At this, the kage chuckled softly while fingering the small goatee hanging from his chin. Yes, Hiruzen was very well acquainted with that particular jutsu.
"... by the time his intention to leave their presence was discovered, both teams were sufficiently distracted for him to make his way to the Tower, but not before blowing into a child's dog-whistle with a great deal of force. Having channeled a great deal of chakra, following a chakra trail became impossible due to the sheer ...cloud his presence left. As for the security seals not being activated by his presence, the T&I Department indicated his means were a for your eyes only SS-Class secret."
Hiruzen chuckled again at the blonde's ingenuity. And luck. Surely some of that had to be blatant unadulterated luck. Chakra trails aren't even discussed within the Academy.
The bug spray effectively neutralized the Aburame's kikaichu bugs, the stink-bombs for the young Inuzuka girl and her companions to ruin their sense of smell alongside the Captain standing behind him, the dog whistle to interrupt all of the ninjas enhanced hearing, the flash-bomb ('Where did Naruto-kun even get his hands on one?') to disrupt the Hyuga's Byakugan, and the Orioke no jutsu (sadly, extremely sadly, that thing is so being declared a kinjutsu) as the coup de grace.
'I wonder if Naruto-kun knew there was only a single kunoichi in his escort for the night. If so, what would be have done?'
The security seals were easily explainable, but not something the Sandaime would discuss with anyone. Young Ibiki was correct to seal the records. It wouldn't due for anyone to be aware that the Yondaime was killed before he and his wife finished the key for removing access (tested by both subtle blood and chakra scans) to the security seals throughout the Hokage Tower. Even after evaluating them every time his visited, Sarutobi's only still loyal student, Jiriaya the Toad Sage, Sannin, and the foremost Fuinjutsu still alive in the Elemental Nations, still had not unraveled the mysteries of the seal.
'It's no wonder their son has Kage-Level Clearance. Kami help us if he ever realizes it.'
"And the traitor, Mizuki?"
"Still with T&I. When it was realized that the man had one of Orochimaru's seals carved into his head preventing Yamanaka techniques, he was given to the Sannin's apprentice for information extraction." Despite his professional tone, the masked ANBU Captain's distain for that decision did not escape the experienced Saurtobi's sensitive hearing. The kage refrained from sighing at the man's barely disguised animosity towards his fellow Konoha-nin, and for once was unable to blame him.
Mitarashi Anko, the beautiful, deadly, and highly unstable former apprentice of the traitor Sannin Orochimaru; a young girl with a bloodlust like few others in the village and bearing a seal with purposes completely unknown. Was the seal something as rumored to be done by Sasori of the Red Sands? Creating the most effective of involuntary sleeper agents? If so, was it even involuntary? The Sandaime was honest, with himself at the very least, in acknowledging that the young woman wouldn't even be allowed outside the confines of Konoha's maximum security if the death toll from the Kyuubi attack almost exactly thirteen years prior was not so devastating to the village's shinobi forces (which Orochimaru was conspicuously absent for along with his now errant apprentice).
That she returned willingly, and without an anti-Yamanaka seal, while knowing his status as a missing-nin (and by association her own) spoke highly of her character and her 'Will of Fire,' but even that would give no bearing on how thoroughly she was ostracized within both Konoha's shinobi and civilian inhabitants.
The Sandiame took another long drag from his pipe to help steel his nerves for his next order, already knowing it might end in disaster yet having little choice in the matter. The only other might be transferring Cat instead, but like young Anko his presence and loyalty still rated as an unknown, having been discovered in the 'tender' hands of the same traitorous Sannin years prior.
"You know of your next mission. After many discussions with the Jonin Council, this appears to be the most promising available option. Ensure loyalty. Ensure the Will of Fire burns. But never forget your mission. Acceptance is required. Leave your mask and by Kami you WILL be professional. Is that understood?"
"Yes Hokage-sama."
Moments later the ANBU vanished in a swirl of leaves, leaving behind a single hard wooden mask on the massive desk covered in even more massive stacks of paper.
'I'm too old for this shit,' he thought to himself, maintaining his strong presence, even within the apparently empty room. To this day the ANBU hidden at key points within the room could count on two hands the number of times where their Leander's strength of presence ever waned (not counting his bi-weekly breakdowns over the Kage's arch-nemesis: the unstoppable behemoth of paperwork).
Yet that number rose by one as the fierce warrior, for but a few moments, looked every day of his eighty-plus years when he finally tore his gaze from the orange spec in the distance to stare down at the mask dropped unceremoniously on one the larger piles of paperwork.
After the longest running tenure within the village outside of the ANBU Commander himself (known only to Hiruzen), the Dog mask worn for nearly fifteen years was finally being retired.
It only took a direct order to do it.
- 1 - 1 - 1 - 1 -
Iruka entered the Academy classroom to greet this particular group for the last time as their sensei to probably the most surreal experience he'd experienced in the entire four years as the classes teacher.
Silence.
Not a single shout of 'Sasuke-kun' or 'teme', 'dog breath' or anything else.
Looking to the source of the entire class's stares, a knocked out Uchiha lay prone on the floor and a positively fuming Naruto leaned against the back wall of the room dressed in nothing more than a pair of black boxers and a plain white t-shirt probably three sizes too small with the Uzumaki swirl emblazoned on the front. At the blonde's feet, the Inuzuka heir was similarly unconscious with a massive goose-egg developing on his head. Roughly thirty heads seemed to move in eery sync back and forth between the Naruto and the young Uchiha Heir, Sasuke. Except of course for the resident Hyuga Heiress, and oddly the Yamanaka Heiress, both completely knocked the f out with massive nosebleeds on top of their overturned desks.
The experienced chunin addressed the situation with a professionalism that would give pride to any fine upstanding shinobi of the Leaf Village.
"What the fuck?"
- 1 - 1 - 1 - 1 -
- Two Hours Earlier -
Growling in frustration, anger, and depression, Naruto sat on his bed positively vibrating as he stared into the ruined remains of his closet.
'I'm sorry oni-san.'
"Shut UP," the boy barked out, biting his cheek in anger as he forcefully scrubbed unsure tears from his eyes, "This is YOUR fault you stupid kami-forsaken blight on the world. I can't even celebrate becoming a ninja properly. No, the fact that I'm your jailer just decided to fuck my life once again. Thanks. Thanks a lot."
For the first time in over a week, since kicking Mizuki's ass bloody to be specific, the fox didn't reply.
Oddly, he'd tolerated and even slightly enjoyed (much to his own frustration) the Fox's presence over the last week. Her observation about his shadow clones had been a GOLD-MINE. Paired with being called an idiot (which he ignored) when she pointed he could just use Henge to get past the vicious Librarian to prove what she'd said about the Uzumaki Clan was true and suddenly Naruto could actually read ALL of the books he'd been denied access to over the four years (despite being required research material for many of the exams he'd failed).
That. That was both a blessing and a curse. The Fox-Bitch wasn't lying when she stated that his clan, and former village, was feared the world over. That was the blessing.
The curse? His clan was so feared in fact that three of the great villages alongside two minor villages piled their resources together during the Second Shinobi World War forty years prior to burn the village to the ground. So feared was the might of fallen Uzushiogakure that their armies worked and planned together despite the allied Kumo and Iwa being Kiri's enemies during the war.
The information he found was as frustrating as it was contradictory. One older book claimed that the forty-plus survivors emigrated in the dead of night to their allies in Konoha to escape extermination and, to quote, 'rejoin the last living heiress Kushina-sama'. Naruto worked hard to ignore his tenant when she re-read that line at least fifteen times in his head.
The more recent books, and those he should have had access to read during his years at the Academy ('Stupid trollish fucking hag') stated that if there were any survivors, they were completely unknown. Surprisingly based on the behavior of his irritating tenant, she said nothing about his confusion, which of course confused him more. The newer books also fail to mention that the First Hokage's wife just happened to be an Uzumaki ('Take that teme!'), instead referencing her name only as Mito-sama or Senju-sama.
All of that PALED however in the face of the better library he'd forced one of his Henged clones to visit (looking like Iruka since only a handful of people knew he was in the hospital). The Chunin Jutsu Library. Clanless Techniques known the world over, but kept under lock and key from any shinobi below chunin rank until the ninja wishing to visit was able to prove both on and off the battlefield their loyalty to the village. (That little tidbit came from the genin manual the annoying Fox insisted, ad-nauseum, he read first.)
Anyone surprised the Naruto clones, since in the end he sent three of them after the first slipped in completely unnoticed, managed to bump into the spoiled 'Last Uchiha' while they were there? Yeah, Naruto wasn't surprised either.
Arrogant prick.
Anyway, having only a few days with his discovery, his. Clones only managed to memorize two jutsu from the library. The first he chose since he knew it was one of Jiji's signature techniques, the Shadow-Kunai Clone Jutsu. The second, to his ETERNAL irritation, he learned because he gave in to his tenant's continual speech of logical reasons why it wasn't just the best choice, but the only choice. (Read: nagging) The Bangle-Trap Jutsu. Name was certainly girly as HELL and he almost refused to learn it by that reason alone, but even Naruto could admit the jutsu sounded just THAT bad-ass. Especially with the extreme levels of chakra Jiji said Naruto had compared to everyone else.
He would have learned many, MANY more jutsu, but apparently shinobi are required to have some sort of seal checked from their registration cards to actually check the scrolls out of the Library and Naruto didn't want his clones to get caught. Hana pointed out, correctly to Naruto's irritation, that even if his clones disbursed when caught that it wouldn't take the Hokage long to figure out that if an 'unknown' shinobi used shadow clones to infiltrate the library less than a week after Naruto learned the jutsu, the culprit would probably be Naruto.
All in all, Naruto LOVED the last week. (Though there wasn't a chance in hell he'd thank the torturous bitch of a Fox for it.) After figuring out the transformation and clone tricks, ON HIS OWN, he'd started ditching his 'escorts' via clones and dark alleys (or sewers). Shopping had never been such a wonderful experience. If asked, Naruto probably couldn't tell you the last time he only paid less than 500 ryo for a loaf of bread. As Sasuke, who he knew was in the chunin library? 75 ryo. It was so awesome, yet sucked so hard at the same time.
So considering the rather pleasantly eventful week leading up to this morning, one might wonder what could so have thoroughly destroyed Naruto's perpetually good mood over the last week; especially after waking up to realize that today was THE day.
Team Assignments!
Yet, staring wistfully at the contents of his closet AND knowing his village sponsored stipend ended the moment he donned his new favorite headgear, Naruto couldn't even find words to express his feelings at the state of his meager belongings.
EVERYTHING was trashed.
Every single one of his precious, wonderful, awesome, amazing, precious, beautiful, fantastic, bad-ass, killer, super, heroic precious jumpsuits were horribly destroyed. The bottom of his closet looked like the remains of a swarm of moths having a feeding frenzy. Nothing remained of his clothes but a pile of shredded and frayed strings.
Dully turning his eyes to the three idly tossed dresser drawers with similar contents, Naruto came to the slow realization that his ONLY clothes were the ones on his back. Even his precious pajamas suffered a similar fate, since he'd been too tired to do more than rip off his jumpsuit before falling into bed the night before.
Sighing heavily, Naruto tried to at least gather his ninja tools, but those too suffered a similar fate. His trusty but worn kunai and shuriken were gone, the ninja wire sliced into worthless pieces, his extremely small supply of ridiculously expensive exploding tags were soaked (and reeked of urine), and worst of all, his favorite, a single one of the great Yondaime-sama's kunai he'd found and hidden deep under his floorboards was gone as well.
Taking a deep, deep calming breath to at least make himself stable he moved to the kitchen for some comfort food.
So numb by this point, he did little more than grunt at what he found.
Deciding to report the theft and break-in, since 'all active duty shinobi are required to notify the Homage or T&I when village security has been compromised' ('stupid manual') and after reading just what it meant to be a jinchuriki paired with the vandals getting past his 'escorts,' this certainly qualified, Naruto made his way to Jiji's tower. The Hokage's Tower which he was promptly barred from entering by a couple of chunin since he looked like a 'hoodlum' (whatever that is) and would only be allowed back after making himself more 'presentable.' The knowing smirks on the bastards faces spelled serious pranking, Jiji's rules be-damned. He just wouldn't get caught.
Izumo and Kotetsu shivered heavily after the boy left before heading back to their gate, sharing knowing looks with each other that spoke volumes without a word whispered. 'Kami he owns us BIG time.' The duo thought in unison.
Needless to say, by the time Naruto arrived at the Academy clad only in a training t-shirt and a pair boxers, he wasn't the happiest ninja in the Elemental Nations and was beginning to ponder whether Uchiha Itachi gave lessons in 'Massacre's 101'.
So lost in his emo-angst driven world as he walked towards his normal desk, he didn't even notice when the temperature in the room dropped significantly after mumbling that particular thought out loud and the murmurs and whispers fell silent.
"DOBE!" a raven-haired teen screamed loudly as he rose to his feet, the collar on his black turtle-necked t-shirt ruffling in a non-existent wind. Naruto's fellow Leaf genin screamed in a nearly berserk level of rage after hearing the blonde's mumbled words before drawing one of his custom chakra-conductive black-forged kunai and charging with wild abandon. Dozens of the girls throughout the room (save only one) visibly swooned as the lean and developed muscles of the boy flexed and snapped into position while moving, his daisy-duke white shorts (despite generally being made for females) giving the preteen a manly, powerful appearance… for a few seconds.
WHAM.
Glaring down at the now unconscious boy that just charged him with a kunai aimed for heart, Naruto couldn't even be broken out of his anger and frustration laden thoughts to cheer over finally getting the better of his self-proclaimed rival (a rival that until pretty much this very minute refused to even acknowledge his existence despite the similarities between the two boys). The Kyuubi container's body acted entirely on auto-pilot as he grabbed a book and smashed it down with an unconsciously chakra enhanced swing at the charging Rookie of the Year.
Even swamp deep into his Sasuke-emo mood of the day, Naruto winced at the twin banshee-fueled shrieks of rage and hate coming up quickly behind him. The presence of the beautiful cherry blossom that so enraptured his heart (for once) could not even add a crack in the barrier built out of Naruto's near rage level of frustration this day. The distracted blonde's body reacted on impulse again as he pulled a quick kamiwari with Kiba before leaning on the wall as the fierce and powerful Inuzuka crashed into the ground spectacularly via the power of righteous female fury by the name of Haruno Sakura, her long perfect beautiful and lustrous cotton candy colored hair not even having the slightest effect on the normally easily distracted blonde for once.
Said cherry blossom stared in stunned uncomprehending silence at her fist as Kiba landed on the complete other side of the room before rolling to a stop at Naruto's feet. The boy with a massive crush on her NEVER dodged her punches. Not once. For four years of classes she'd taken perverse glee in putting the perverted blonde menace in his place, and never once did he fail to do two things when she was forced into his unholy presence. He never dodged and he always asked her on a date.
Neither of which actually occurred this morning. It was baffling.
"What the fuck?"
Palming a hand over his face and sighing heavily, the chunin turned to the one student he just KNEW had to be responsible for this mess, "Naruto! What did you do?"
When the silently muttering blonde didn't answer, Umino Iruka fell back on his tried and true Big Head no Jutsu to scare the answer out of the genin hopeful, "Uzumaki NARUTOOOOO!"
Silence.
The class stared. Iruka stared. The eight ANBU posted throughout the room stared.
Naruto never moved while his hard eyes still glared at the wall as he muttered silently to himself about the injustices of the world. Luckily, only Shino, being closest to the blonde boy, actually heard his classmate give true consideration to just leaving the village entirely and trying his hand at becoming a journeyman. If the hidden ANBU managed to hear that particular comment, things could have conceivably become worse for the hero.
After nearly thirty seconds of stunned silence while Iruka became increasingly frustrated with the blonde to the point he began subconsciously leaking his killer intent, no one moved or spoke. Having spent years avoiding civilians, former ninja, and (sadly) even the current ninja forces when their bloodlust or hatred got the better of them, Naruto's survival instincts honed over his entire kick kicked into overdrive as his eyes instantly focused and he dropped low until he could identify the source of the threat.
"Finally with us Naruto," Iruka asked through grit teeth.
"I'm here." the blonde muttered quietly, habitually ignoring the increasingly hostile stares sent his way after a lifetime of dealing with the same, his mood still leagues and oceans away from the cheerful blonde his classmates were so used to.
"Would you care to explain this," the chunin instructor asked in a tone that left little doubt as to his choice in answering.
Naruto glanced first eye Kiba, to the (now) four girls slowing bleeding out from the nose while unconscious with dreamy smiles on their faces and drool leaking from the edges of their mouths, then let his eyes trail to the unconscious Sasuke still lying on the floor.
Good fangirls are so hard to find.
"Neh...," Naruto asked in complete confusion while rubbing the back of his neck, "Why you asking me Iruka-sensei. I just got here." With his mask firmly back in place and a questioning idiotic smile on his face, all was once more right with the world. Almost.
With an audible (literally, you could actually hear it, freaky as hell) snap, Sakura finally broke out of her confusion induced quasi-coma and screamed for all to hear, "Naruto-BAKA! Why did you viciously attack Sasuke-kun with such a sneaky and horrible underhanded dishonorable attack like that?!"
Over thirty genin hopefuls, eight ANBU, and one extremely annoyed chunin instructor that bore witness to her statement had the exact same thought: 'Um... Ninja?'
The blissfully ignorant Uzumaki however had a different response. "What? I did that!? I don't even remember it! Man, I am SO awesome -ttebayo!" With that he struck his 'Hero-pose' complete with a victory V and a foxy-grin on his face. This action, having flexed his poor training shirt nearly to the limit, sent Hinata, the Hyuga Heiress that bolted back awake thanks to Sakura's ear-piercing shriek, right back into happy wonder-land with a fountain of blood shooting from her nose high enough to nail the cat-masked ANBU hiding at the top of the sixteen foot high ceiling.
Sadly, with Hebi having born witness to the event and showing just how good she could be with a camera, Cat would never live the moment down. Ever.
Or that's what SHE thinks.
"Really," Naruto muttered to himself, looking around the room, "Guess I should apologize to dog-breath, neh?" Nine of those present narrowed their eyes when Naruto muttered, but followed the Sandaime's orders and did nothing. Even Iruka, one of the few adults in Naruto's life that actually SAW Naruto instead of the demon-fox wasn't exempt from this.
The young chunin may have started to look fondly on the boy in the last few months (after just shy of four years with the same attitude as the traitor Mizuki), but when the child containing the world's most powerful demon in his stomach starts talking to himself anyone would sit-up and take notice.
"Narutoooo!" The mentioned genin-hopeful turned to the sound of the screeching, screaming voice that started the windows vibrating and visibly paled at the demonic visage forming behind his beautiful cherry blossom queen.
While the Academy classroom was shortly filled with painful cries delivered by a pink-haired incarnation of violence (that no-one bothered to stop since it was pretty much a daily occurrence between Sakura and Naruto), another meeting with the exact same topic and agenda was taking place within the Hokage's Tower. The assembled jonin in the room eerily mirrored the silence of the classroom as they watched the 'dead-last' drop the rookie of the year with a single swing of a book. Many of the assembled jonin just scoffed and attributed it to the demon finally showing his true colors. A few however, those with higher clearance and the former ANBU amongst the crowd, knew the blonde would have been stopped, detained, and forcibly removed from the room if he barest hint of the demon's violate chakra came from the boy.
Smoking his ever-present pipe, and enjoying the difficulties a number of his subordinates were having hiding their disdain for it, the Sandaime Hokage was contemplating his 'surrogate grandson' and his attitude. The elder Sarutobi in the room, since his son Asuma happened to be present as well hoping for his own genin team, knew the child's attitude was a recent occurrence. By all reports over the past week from his ANBU, Naruto had bounced back from his episode with Mizuki by the second day in spades. The boy was as happy and carefree as ever. Despite Naruto's obvious pain from learning the secret his beloved Jiji hid from him, he even stopped by for tea and to spend some needed time visiting in the Hokage's office (via window, without tree-walking).
The Sandaime probably would have been more concerned about his new shinobi's state of mind if he wasn't more focused on the actual reasons for his surrogate grandson's mood. 'Damn them.' The event, fully ruining one of the old kage's favorite day each year, left his ANBU Commander baffled.
Sometime between midnight and eight a.m., an unknown number of ninja managed to fully by-pass a full ANBU cell, breach the bedroom of the village jinchuriki, and leave the already poor weapon destitute. Now, on normal days Hiruzen never actually thought of the cheerful, happy-go-lucky boy as the village's secret weapon, but he was the Hokage and the political and military ramifications of unknown ninja, whether foreign or domestic, having such access to a child with the most potential as a ninja for the village was frightening. It practically screamed 'Look what we COULD have done, and you couldn't stop us!'
That was just the military side of the equation, politically it was worse. The Elders, and possibly the Jonin Council as well, would have much to say on the ramifications against the Village's jinchuriki. Danzo, backed as he was by Hiruzen's former teammates Koharu and Homura, will definitely point out having the village's weapon both poorly trained and poorly guarded boded ill for the future before promptly demanding Naruto be turned over to Danzo for 'special' training. Hiashi, the Hyuga Clan Head will certainly back their recommendation, if only to cease all contact between his enamored daughter and 'the vessel'. Knowing more of the details, even the Nara Clan Head Shikaku might be tempted to back them as well, for which his former team-mates would certainly follow his lead (as always). Yamanaka Inoichi certainly held no love for the boy, especially since his brother was in a permanent coma after trying their family jutsu against the child years before and his wife had some sort of unnatural level of hate for the boy having nothing to do with his status as a jinchuriki. Akimichi Chouza just plain didn't care, but after the laxative incident just a few months prior he wouldn't even have motivation to go out on a limb for the village pariah.
That left only the Inuzukas, the Aburames, the minor Kurama clan, his own Sarutobi clan, and the remaining jonin, thankfully all staunch Naruto supporters. Tsunade was absent, so the Senju wouldn't be voting if a meeting was called for the Jonin Council. Thankfully, young Sasuke (Log bless loopholes) was not yet technically a genin and could not appoint a proxy for the Uchiha clan, though Kami help us all if it comes to such a vote.
Village weapon or not, thanks to the village charter giving clan status to appointed Hokages, poor Naruto-kun was the successor within the village for three clans and he didn't even know it. Should the young genin-to-be pass his jonin-sensei's survival test and the Councils decide to press the issue, Naruto may just end up being handed over to Danzo for training just to keep the boy ALIVE. The blonde haired genin hopeful may not know it, but should the knowledge of his Uzumaki heritage and his biological father be known than his life would be placed in almost perpetual danger, both from without and within the village. Last living successor to the fabled Uzumaki clan and technically Daimyo in waiting to the Land of Whirlpool, the only male successor (and thus with a larger claimant status than his distant Great-Aunt Tsunade) to the founding Senju clan by blood and by marriage, and finally - the Sandaime's trump card alongside a birth certificate and blood tests sealed on his own body - the only child of the late Yondaime himself Naminkaze Minato.
Three clans with more enemies throughout the Elemental Nations than any two of the Great Villages combined.
The question plaguing Hiruzen at the moment remained a relatively simple one, were the changes in Naruto's situation over the last two weeks enough for Danzo to force Hiruzen to play his hand. The two kage level shinobi danced a very dangerous game for almost thirteen years around that very topic. Many of Danzo's innocent 'suggestions' concerning Naruto came dangerously close over the years to doing just that, but the long since retired ninja wasn't given the title 'Old War Hawk' without reason. As both old shinobi were trained by the Nidaime himself, the founding creator of both the ANBU and ROOT programs, Hiruzen believed that Danzo never pushed to the edge where Naruto is concerned because of the political and social ramifications of the boy learning the truth about his heritage. Considering Naruto's treatment and upbringing within the village, should his life thus far become known within the right circles it could lead to nothing good, whether via a personal visit by the Fire Daimyo himself or even plunging the Elemental Nations directly into the Fourth Shinobi World War.
Three days.
The report from T&I on the ANBU assigned to Naruto's apartment would be ready in three days. Not much time to prepare, but hopefully enough. Especially since the preliminary reports already indicated that the Hyuga assigned for the night, one Ko from the Branch Family, was found heavily drunk at a nearby bar. (Though, sadly, that situation had its own political can of worms considering the Main Branch members were literally able to order Branch Members to take their own lives, so breaching conduct while on ANBU assignment would not be impossible; Ko already found himself relieved of duty after Kakashi reminded him of that particular oversight.)
So the old kage watched the events within the magnificent crystal ball created by his successor and predecessor in silence, hoping his gambit with Ibiki paid off while taking another long puff of his favorite blend in hopes an idea would appear.
The other occupants of the kage's office varied from outright distain to silently chuckling amusement while watching the events unfolding within the Hokage's Crystal Ball. One woman's eyes narrowed dangerously at the uncouth child's perverted attire while another was actually drooling at the sight (unknown to the second woman, even if she saw her team passed she would probably never be a jonin-sensei. Shota is bad kiddies.). A handful of the males within the room withheld their own urges to face-palm alongside the chunin instructor. Two of the occupants weren't even paying attention to the events within the viewing crystal, one with his single eye completely enraptured by the contents of the thick orange book in his hand and the other actually unconscious due to an almost identical event to which happens only moments prior. (Instinctual substitution by the man with the orange book to escape incoming feminine righteous fury.)
"Is that his spleen?" one of the younger jonin asked excitedly, drawing the room's attention back to the viewing orb before he was silenced by a glare from the Hokage.
Kids these days have no respect.
Far off in Kiri, an elderly ninja with a seal-covered eye-patch over one eye sneezed, covering the beautiful red-haired woman hiding with him in snot.
"Ao. Do that again and I'll kill you."
Finally escaping his internal plotting, the Sandaime addressed the room as a whole, "We have a fine batch of potential genin this year. I expect complete evaluations tomorrow at sixteen hundred hours, which includes you Kakashi. No excuses."
"Hokage-sama!" the occupants chanted in unison before all twelve left the room by various means that not once included the door.
Sighing outwardly at the large piles of leaves, two puddles of water, a skin for Kami knows what animal, and a scorch mark, Hiruzen pressed the call button for his newest Secretary.
"I'll send the janitor up Hokage-sama," Clarice's voice called through the small box, used to her boss's needs after less than a week.
- 1 - 1 - 1 - 1 - 1 -
For once, Sasuke was somewhat enjoying himself while within the classroom walls of the Academy.
After the completion of the Team selections his fellow classmates had been led away three by three via the various jonin-senseis assigned to their created teams. Each team being lead away taking (at least) one more of the rabid unholy fangirls that had plagued his life through the last four years. For a brief moment Sasuke even held hope that, should be be assigned a female team-mate, the only girl left to be on his team would be the quiet and weak Hyuga Heiress. She might be a complete waste of space within the Shinobi program, but at least she is quiet.
Its not like anyone within the class will do anything but slow him down anyway.
"What the hell are you doing Naruto-baka?" Sakura demanded with her ...usual level of intensity.
Not that he could be that lucky.
Sasuke turned from glaring at what many considered his mortal enemy after giving the wall four years of death glares (besides his brother Itachi who massacred the entire Uchiha clan before torturing Sasuke's mind for three days straight in a span of as many seconds). Poor wall. It never did anything to anybody.
Sure enough, the blonde idiot was being weird. Again.
The acclaimed prodigy raised an eyebrow as he realized that Naruto, for once, had not addressed him a single time. No challenges to fight, no overly loud and annoying proclamations about this or that, nothing.
'Come to think of it, the dobe didn't even pitch a fit or shout in victory over having the pink-haired banshee on our team when Iruka-sensei announced the teams.'
Instead the blonde was entirely focused on the mangled and shredded chunks of orange that the Uchiha recognized as coming from the bright orange eye-watering monstrosity his new team-mate habitually wore. The noticeably absent monstrosity was actually one of the extremely few reasons Sasuke had to be grateful his Sharingan was yet to be unlocked. Can you imagine having the sigh of that THING burned into your brain for all time?
'Oh Kami. He's trying to FIX it!'
Sure enough, the once again disturbingly quiet blonde protagonist managed to create a makeshift needle from two paperclips, a rubber band, and a stick of wood (don't ask, it was giving Sasuke a headache just to look at it, despite how efficient the strange contraption appeared to be) before pulling a pile of shredded orange and blue from his pocket and setting to work.
'What the HELL. The dobe is the protagonist?'
Ignoring that.
While his shinobi skills might have been below sub-par, far far far FAR below, Sasuke was forced to admit the dobe might actually have a life as a seamstress should he ever need it. The prodigy actually paused for almost a full fourth of a second to wonder what kind of life his team-mate must have lived to have such skill with a needle and thread at such a young age before his usual attitude pulled itself to the fore and Sasuke realized he just didn't care.
Watching his pink-haired team-mate through his peripheral vision (since she had an unholy ability to know when he actually looked at her), Sasuke was privately amused to note that despite her outburst Sakura's facial expressions were running the full gamut.
Confused. Now surprised. Annoyed. Back to confused. Interested. Pondering. Back to confused. VERY annoyed. Interested again.
Sasuke gave the pink-haired shrieking witch about ten seconds before she snapped like an overdrawn crossbow with a steel bolt three times too heavy. Despite hating his fangirls like the plague unleashed as punishment like a plague of locusts upon humanity that they were, Sakura and the blonde haired Yamanaka named Ino topping the list on his scorn, Sasuke attended the same classes at the same Academy where the soon-to-be-fodder kunoichi in training rarely gave him a moment's piece for four years. The Uchiha style of combat was focused on evaluating all...
"Naruto-baka!" 'There she goes.' "What are you doing?!" Sasuke was forced to actually put effort into maintaining his bored look, the tiniest of smirks hitting his lips for a second when Sakura grabbed the spinning contraption and yanking it away from Naruto.
Cue massive cursing spree from the blonde idiot when the second impromptu needle was buried almost an inch into his palm as the cloth it was destined for was pulled right out of his hand.
'And this from the girl who claims to want nothing to do with him.'
"Neh... Sakura-chan... " Naruto whined, complete with full on pouting. "I need um. Well." Sasuke almost raised and eyebrow at the near-rage look that crossed Naruto's face for a split second before vanishing back into the dobe's trademark goofy smile. "I gotta fix this for my new awesome jutsu!"
"Baka! What jutsu? Another disgusting perverted display? Bad enough what you pulled earlier, now this?"
Sasuke would deny vehemently that he was actually interested in Naruto's answer for all time, especially considering what happened next.
Credit where credit's due though, in less than twenty minutes Naruto managed to take a pile of strings and thread into a foot long orange flat of cloth at least three inches wide and a fourth of an inch thick with a thin blue stripe running down the middle.
Sasuke tried to look disinterested as the annoyance dismantled his machine and wove the flat of cloth around his forearm, "See, I put it on like this. I don't have it down completely yet but..."
Schtick.
"Whoa." Again, something Sasuke would deny. Uchiha's were surprised by nothing. Sasuke barely managed to dodge the bolt of flat razor-sharp cloth that stretched straight for his head out the back of Naruto's elbow. A frowning blonde channeled more chakra before snapping the cloth right back in place.
"Damnit! It's supposed to go forward -ttebayo!"
Sasuke blinked twice as he realized something felt different. If Sakura's growing look of horror was anything to go by, it probably wouldn't be something he would like.
"Sasuke-kun!" In a flash faster than most shushins Sakura appeared completely within his personal space irritating the raven haired boy to no end while grabbing at the back of his head. "Naruto-baka! Look what you did to poor Sasuke-kun!"
Naruto's response was fairly predictable, all things considered.
"By the Log's holy grace!" (Sakura was too spaced out to notice Sasuke's quiet "Amen.") "I fixed him! Oi. Teme! We can't call you duck-butt when you aren't around anymore!"
Sasuke's response was in no way predictable.
"What do you mean 'duck-butt' dobe?" he asked with a pointed glare and a promise of pain. Well, not entirely out of character. Give the guy a break though. It's not every day the biggest loser in the school gets the drop on you, turns out to be some sort of clothing savant, and shows off a jutsu he'd never seen before while getting the drop on you a second time.
"Um. You don't know?" Naruto asked in a confused voice, rubbing his temple with a knuckle as he asked the question.
"Know WHAT dobe?" Sasuke bit out angrily. If there was one thing he took the most pride in besides his intent to unlock his Sharingan, it was his looks.
"Neh..." Naruto gestured before a light bulb went off in his head, throwing up a quick transformation, "Your hair." He said while spinning around, gesturing at the pointed tuft of hair sticking straight up in the back of his now black hair, "It looks like a giant duck's ass. Funny as hell. It's like your mooning everybody. All the time."
Blink.
Blink.
Sakura started to say something, probably to yell at Naruto for insulting her Sasuke-kun, when the normally placid and composed genin almost exploded, "What THE hell, dobe! Why didn't anybody TELL me?!"
"Maa... We um.. thought you knew," the idiot replied before doing that whole irritating neck rubbing thing he does.
Blinking again at the irritating idiot, Sasuke decided to fall back on his usual hobby.
"Hn." Then he promptly glared at the wall.
"Ano. Sakura-chan. I need that back." Naruto's voice carried from behind the pissed off Uchiha. Sasuke ignored them both.
Roughly an hour and a half later, a rubber band tied to a string Naruto got from who knows where in the classroom wound up stuck in his hand. "Hold this for a minute teme." The raven-haired teen stared at it for a split second and decided to just take it so the blonde would just leave him the hell alone. The day had been frustrating enough as it was.
He would come to regret that.
- 1 - 1 - 1 - 1 - 1 -
Naruto was bored.
Extremely bored. Mind numbing lay frustratingly bored.
And hungry. Very hungry. Hungry to the point the rubber bands on Iruka's desk were starting to look good and Sakura-chan kept looking like a side of cotton-candy. The last time he actually had any food was before training himself into the ground the night before, since a shredded Gama-chan was empty this morning (though quickly repaired) and it tends to be difficult to buy food with no money. If had the time Naruto probably would have sent some clones to check over the Akimichi's refuse bins, but their clan restaurants were on the far side of the village from the Academy.
And still angry. Everything was destroyed. His precious was gone forever. Sure, he could patch up his precious jumpsuits, but after looking through the piles this morning it was quickly apparent that the vandals decided to take 'trophies' with them; namely every sleeve of every suit and all the pants.
So, in an attempt to not take out his frustrations out on his team-mates (Again) he decided to at least use the remains of his precious for the bangle jutsu ('SO gonna re-name that -ttebayo') since the last flat of cloth sort-of-exploded-a-little while training, though it probably wouldn't have been spared either come to think of it. The bastards even shredded his toad covered curtains.
'Kill-cloth no jutsu. Perfect.'
Unfortunately, that only took the first hour (including a clone making a trip to his apartment for more of the shreds) to make enough for mock arm and shin guards. If the bitch-fox (not to mention the manual from the library) could be believed, the right amount of chakra and some of his blood added to the cloth and he could harden all four into strong armor. Apparently it was an amazing jutsu with relatively low chakra cost to use, but very high (kage level) requirement to create since the materials had to be supercharged with pure chakra (the blood comes later) before the cloth was even formed. Something about creating the 'functional chakra imprint to prevent foreign flow disruption though neutral channels during pure manipulation'. The bitch-fox tried to describe it, but he ignored her figuring she should at least be happy he learned the damn jutsu. The description also said something about elemental ..reasoning?.. but Naruto figured he'd look into it later.
Luckily, chakra requirements weren't exactly a problem for one Uzumaki Naruto. The entire pile of shredded cloth in his apartment took a single sitting this morning to charge; only took about twenty minutes till it felt right. The scroll said it normally takes around three hours.
He'd be damned if his precious wasn't with him always.
In the far far reaches of his mind, a loud slap was heard as a palm met a face.
However, at this point, that was now over an hour ago. After nearly turning the floor under his desk to sawdust from vibrating in excitement for a full HOUR after finishing his kill-cloth, that was about the point where his hunger, anger, and boredom reached critical mass.
Had Naruto been in a better mood, the prank percolating within his mind after forcing the trio to wait this long probably would have only involved an eraser. With his current mindset?
Sakura shuddered at the devious, mischievous, almost demonic aura that emerged from the semi-feral blonde as his eyes narrowed into slits almost reminiscent of a canine while the whisker marks on his face became even more pronounced. The ANBU started placing bets. Sasuke glared at the wall.
Forty five minutes later, he handed a rubber band tied to one of the ropes from the pull-down board to Sasuke.
"Hold this for a minute teme."
- 1 - 1 - 1 - 1 -