First of two more unrelated one shots. These aren't going to be much but it's something. OTS will be updated with the last one shot here so if these aren't the best then there's still that to look forward to. Enjoy!
Yet another open mic night was coming to Hollywood Arts, but this year promised to be a more interesting one. This one would be a battle of sorts. Songs would be sung to combat the previous singer's song and the crowd could decide whose song was better. Tori looked at the event as one that could possibly brighten her otherwise bad mood. It all started when Sikowitz forced her into another play with Jade of all people. They fought through the whole thing but pulled off the best display of acting anyone had ever seen when it came time to perform. It was so flawless no one would have thought that they had such a hard time rehearsing it, . After that though, the tension between them escalated dangerously. It was almost as if it became worse after the play proved how well they could work together.
It didn't help that it also included a kiss instead of a simple hug like they had to do in the past. Nowadays no one wanted to be around them when they were in a yardstick distance of each other. Tori secretly hoped Jade would sing too so that she could try and beat her. Yes, it was pitiful, but she was just so tired of her. She was frustrated, they both were, but by something that could easily be resolved if they just owned up to it. Suffice it to say, they wouldn't. So now the gang had showed up at the open mic night and everyone quickly scattered before Jade and Tori could go at it. Many pointed out that they might just be worse than the fights Beck and Jade got into back when they were on their last leg of their relationship. Tori was eyeing the stage, wondering if she should go up now or later, when Andre came up to her.
"You doin' ok chica?" he asked, patting her shoulder. She crossed her arms and leaned into him.
"No," she huffed out, a permanent frown on her face.
"Cheer up, Tor. In my opinion, music fixes everything. It's literally the sound of emotions," he responded, as carefree as ever. Tori listened to him talk but her eyes picked out Jade in the crowd. Beck was with her, probably trying to do the same that Andre was doing for her. The two had gotten along way better when they weren't a couple. They worked well as friends. Tori groaned obnoxiously, getting Andre's attention.
"Why don't you just tell her?" he asked suddenly.
"Tell her what?" Tori responded, playing dumb and hiding her shock at the same time. She should have known better than to think she could hide anything from him. He knew her too well for that.
"Tori," he scolded, giving her a look that said 'You aren't fooling me'.
"Ok, fine. I guess you know what this is all about but it doesn't make me want to adhere to that advice. I don't even think it would go well," Tori grumbled.
"You never know if you don't try. Like I said; music," Andre suggested again, his encouraging smile aimed at her.
"Ok, ok," Tori said, defeated. He always had a way with talking sense into her or calming her down. He had been diligently doing that for her for some time now so she was finally allowing it to have an effect on her.
"That's my girl. Show her who's boss," Andre cheered. Tori just waved him away with an eye roll. She got everyone's eyes trained on her the minute she stepped up on the stage. She rested her hand on the mic in the stand, adjusted it to her height, and then cleared her throat.
"Since I'm sure the shruggers aren't going to get up here I thought I'd start us off so we can get this thing going," Tori announced, trying to use her more upbeat tone of voice, but she had a feeling she fell a little flat. She just wasn't really feeling it recently with the whole 'fighting Jade until they couldn't stand it' thing going on. She might as well take Andre's advice and hope for the best. When she began, she let her emotions flow into the words she sang.
You, you don't like my hair.
You don't like what I wear.
I'm trying, trying… you see I'm trying.
While you try to change me all the time.
You, you say I talk too much.
I know it drives you nuts.
You tell me you wish I was better, better yeah.
You roll your eyes forgetting I'm in the room.
While Tori sang she searched the crowd for Jade, like a nervous itch. She found her easily and locked eyes with her for maybe a second or two before the raven haired thespian pushed her way through the crowd. Tori didn't know where she was going and didn't care so she lost track of her quickly. She turned her eyes to the crowd as a whole and continued to the chorus.
You're hurting me now.
You take me down and you don't even know it.
You think it's a joke.
But baby you don't, you don't even notice.
You're hurting me now.
You take me down and you don't even know it.
You think it's a joke.
But baby you don't, you don't even notice.
You, you say I sing too loud.
I want you to be proud.
I want you screaming out "that girl is mine",
"I love her, love her" but you've already tuned me out.
You, you know these words you say are causing us decay.
You feel I am withdrawing I am running away.
You're pushing, you're pushing me…
Tori opened her mouth to continue the song but stopped when her eyes landed on Jade who had taken the stage with a serious expression. Tori's choice of lyrics brimming with bitter words morphed into something harder yet distraught. She moved aside as Jade sauntered over and picked up the singing.
Looking back at me, I see
That I never really got it right.
I never stopped to think of you.
I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win.
You are the antidote that gets me by.
Something strong like a drug that gets me,
High.
What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am.
I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so cold.
What I really meant to say,
Is I'm sorry for the way I am.
I never meant to be so cold, never meant to be so
Cold to you, I'm sorry 'bout all the lies.
Maybe in a different light
You can see me stand on my own again.
'Cause now I can see
You are the antidote that got me by.
Something strong like a drug that got me,
High.
Tori raised at the song choice and forced back the smile from spreading. She wasn't going to let Jade off the hook so easily even if she wanted to, but this was a start to something. She was determined to see how far Jade would go. Jade took a step toward her but then backed away again, keeping distance between them despite her words.
I never really wanted you to see
The screwed-up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep.
It always seems to get to me.
I never really wanted you to go.
So many things you should have known.
I guess for me there's just no hope.
I never meant to be so cold…
Tori watched Jade, eyes never leaving her stony expression but soft eyes. She looked to Tori when she sung, just as Tori sought her out when she started. Tori heard her emotions clear as day. It was new but welcomed to hear that Jade was trying just as hard as she was to convey what she felt. She had to keep going and hope Jade stayed open long enough for there to be a difference between them. It might just be her only chance. Jade fell quiet when Tori took over, countering with another song she hoped encouraged Jade further.
Beauty queen of only eighteen.
She had some trouble with herself.
He was always there to help her.
She always belonged to someone else.
I drove for miles and miles.
And wound up at your door.
I've had you so many times
But somehow, I want more.
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain.
Look for the girl with the broken smile.
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile.
And she will be loved.
And she will be loved.
Tap on my window, knock on my door.
I want to make you feel beautiful.
I know I tend to get so insecure.
It doesn't matter anymore.
Tori moved closer to Jade, singing to her, and hoping Jade kept her eyes on her. Jade stood there with a mix of emotions but she wasn't running away. That was enough for Tori.
It's not always rainbows and butterflies.
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah.
My heart is full, and my door's always open.
You come anytime you want, yeah.
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain.
Look for the girl with the broken smile.
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile.
And she will be loved.
And she will be loved.
I know where you hide, alone in your car.
Know all of the things that make you who you are.
I know that goodbye means nothing at all.
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls.
Tap on my window, knock on my door.
I want to make you feel beautiful...
Tori watched as Jade shook her head and walked away. For a heart wrenching moment she thought she was leaving, but then she changed up the song again, walking back up to Tori with another shake of her head, like she didn't want to accept the situation they found themselves in. Her expression wasn't as hard though and it helped relax Tori. She waited to hear what Jade would counter with.
I want to help you,
But I don't know how.
I want to soothe you,
But I can't speak out.
I have many fears
About rejection.
I have many memories of pain.
I have always been a little shy
So I'll turn and look the other way.
Other way.
Other way.
I will turn and look the other way.
I want to hold you,
But I am afraid.
I want to touch you,
But I'm not that way.
I have many doubts about my motives.
I have many fears about my greed.
I have always hurt the one that I love.
So I'll turn and look the other way...
Tori's smile came unbidden this time while she listened to Jade sing, her expression sad to match the pace of the song. This was what she was looking for. She had a grasp on the emotions Jade was showing her and she wouldn't let go. She changed the song once more, determined now to get Jade to see what they've been skirting around for so long. Jade stood back when she began. It clearly reflected Tori's change of mood just as the others had done so far.
If you could come clean about everything
It would be easy for you
To be sorry.
If you could see all the possibilities
We might not still be standing
Where we started.
Oh no.
Don't let me go for this.
Don't let me go for this.
I might be a fool.
You might be one too.
Maybe we're all that we needed.
Two wrongs don't make a right
But I don't care tonight.
Maybe we're all that we needed.
Tori's voice was now hopeful and Jade was looking at her in a way that did nothing but drive Tori forward. She looked hesitant, but if she was still here then that was a positive. She took two steps toward Jade and kept singing.
You could say we were just a big mistake.
I think it's worth making.
Worth feeling.
I would say good things come to those who wait.
I would say anything,
If you'd believe it.
Oh no.
Don't let me go for this.
Don't let me go for this.
I might be a fool.
You might be one too.
Maybe we're all that we needed.
Two wrongs don't make a right
But I don't care tonight.
Maybe we're all that we needed.
Maybe we're perfect but not meant to be.
Or more alike than we're willing to see.
Maybe we're not meant to not disagree.
Maybe we're crazy, baby…
Jade backed away from Tori again but this time she wasn't afraid that Jade would run away. Tori's last words rang in her head. Tori had a hand raised toward Jade, inviting her closer. Jade took a step and lifted her hand but denied the offer at the last minute. Tori dropped her hand, a little disappointed, thinking Jade wasn't going to accept, but then she heard Jade sing the words that held a sort of confusion to them as well as hope of her own.
How many times will the clock go 'round?
How many times can my hands hit the ground?
How many coffins before there's a crown?
How far will I fall 'til the alarm sounds?
How come you love me when I am ugly?
Guess I can only hope...
Give me a second go.
Don't let me go alone.
You saw me at the worst.
You caught me falling first.
All I wanted to know.
Give me a second go.
Tori almost didn't believe it. With the soft song Jade was asking to be forgiven. She wanted to cut to the chase and pull her into an embrace, but she didn't. She might have been able to break through to her but she had to be careful. Jade might seem to be an impenetrable fortress of solitude but Tori knew better, just as Jade knew that Tori might seem open to all, but she wasn't. She would have to work to show Tori that she meant what she was saying.
No matter the weather, there's never a break.
Conquer a ladder then slip on a snake.
Cried 'til my river turned into a lake.
And I'm wondering now before it's too late.
How can you save me when I am angry?
Reasons I'll never know.
Give me a second go.
Don't let me go alone.
You saw me at the worst.
You caught me falling first.
All I wanted to know.
Give me a second go.
One to five I'm half alive, six to nine I'm out of time.
Ten to twelve I'm not myself, by the millionth time.
I cry.
Give me a second go…
Jade now stepped closer to Tori, a bigger smile tugging at her lips as her hope grew. Even Jade had a small smile, which was a big accomplishment. The girl hadn't been smiling at all for so long so seeing it, no matter how small, was a good sign Tori took comfort in. It was still a sad smile though so Tori had to change that. She carefully reciprocated Jade's advancement and took her hand in hers. She began singing, giving Jade all her attention.
Every time I see your face
My heart takes off on a high speed chase.
Now don't be scared, it's only love,
Baby, that we're falling in.
I can't wait to tomorrow.
This feeling has swallowed me whole.
And know that I've lost control.
This heart that I've followed.
Has left me so hollow.
That was then, this is now, yeah, you have changed, everything.
Jade pulled her gaze away from Tori's at that point, falling back in her progress as a feeling she wasn't sure of rose within her, but Tori didn't let her close up again. She tugged gently on Jade's hand to bring her eyes back to her. It was her nonverbal command to listen.
I would never do you wrong,
Or let you down or lead you on.
Don't look down, it's only love,
Baby, that we're falling in.
I'm standing in your driveway.
It's midnight and I'm sideways
To find out if you feel the same.
Won't be easy, have my doubts too.
But it's over, without you I'm just lost, incomplete.
Yeah you feel like home, home to me.
Tori's heart almost burst when she felt Jade's hand relax in hers. Her gorgeous eyes showed signs of tears but Tori pressed on. Jade squeezed her hand and returned it.
All those nights I stayed away.
Thinking of all the ways to make you mine.
All of those smiles will never fade.
Never run out of ways to blow my mind.
Every time I see your face
My heart takes off on a high speed chase.
Now don't be scared, it's only love
That we're falling in.
I would never do you wrong,
Or let you down or lead you on.
Don't look down, it's only love,
Baby, that we're falling in.
Don't be scared, it's only love,
Baby, that we're falling in.
Tori finished her song, soothing words keeping Jade in place. She hadn't felt the need to change the song or run off, because the look in Tori's eyes said it all. She smiled and Tori brightened at the positive expression. Jade squeezed her hand once more and then blew past her, yanking her off the stage since their hands were firmly connected. They left so fast they barely heard someone take over from there, asking the crowd who they think had won. By the sound of it, Tori had. Jade couldn't agree more. Yes, they shared their feelings in front of practically the whole school, but she wouldn't have been able to do it without the performance of it all. It was the play all over again. They had only been able to express through what they knew. Now that Jade was certain that Tori was serious she had to show Tori that she meant it too. She led Tori to her car out in the parking lot and dropped her hand to pop the trunk. She pulled out a case and took a guitar out, shoving the case back in, and then shutting the trunk. She patted the back of the car and Tori sat down, wondering what Jade was doing. Jade sat higher so she had room to play, keeping her eyes on the instrument. She felt a little nervous and shy, unheard of for her but rational considering she was never one to directly put her feelings on display. Tori could see the wall she always had up coming down and was busy appreciating the real Jade underneath to see just how uncertain she was. Jade tuned the guitar, strummed a few chords, tweaked it a little, strummed again, and then got comfortable.
"It took me a while to learn how to play this song but I was…well, I had planned to try it out for a while now. Like, you know, sing it to you, but I kept chickening out, or whatever. I have to give you props for going out there first though so I think you deserve this," Jade said, smiling coyly at Tori who looked back at her and couldn't stop thinking how adorable Jade was being in that moment, stammering and all. It was a completely new side to Jade that she wanted to see more of. She was happy that it was her who brought it out of her because now she got to see it in all its glory.
"You got up there too you know. I'm happy you did. I wanted to start something at first, possibly another fight, but when you started to sing I changed my mind," Tori revealed, oddly not shy at all like she would usually be in situations like this.
"Well, now that we're both on our way down an uncertain path I might as well add to it," Jade said, an air of playfulness seeping into her words now that she wasn't so nervous. Tori nodded, not needing to say anything more, and prepared to listen. Jade began playing and looked straight at Tori when her voice joined in.
"Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in, because it's cold outside, it's cold outside. Share with me the secrets that you kept in, because it's cold inside, it's cold inside. And your slow shaking finger tips show, that you're scared like me so, let's pretend we're alone. And I know you may be scared, and I know we're unprepared, but I don't care. Tell me, tell me, what makes you think that you are invincible? I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure. Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable, impossible," Jade began, closing her eyes soon after to focus before she drowned in Tori's eyes. She was putting everything on the table now. She had no more defenses, and she hoped that Tori accepted all that she could give, the good and the bad.
"I was born to tell you I love you. Isn't that a song already? I get a B in originality. And it's true I can't go on without you. Your smile makes me see clearer. If you could only see in the mirror what I see. And your slow shaking finger tips show, that you're scared like me so, let's pretend we're alone. And I know you may be scared, and I know we're unprepared, but I don't care. Tell me, tell me, what makes you think that you are invincible? I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure. Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable, impossible," Jade continued, her eyes opening again. Tori reached over to place her hand on her knee and Jade smiled at the constant encouragement she supplied. During their unyielding fights Tori had closed off, which wasn't something she normally did, so Jade began to worry that she really screwed up. It was like they switched personalities because the more Jade pushed away the harder Tori was to reach, and then Jade began to lose hope and Tori began to keep her away. It was a painful cycle that needed to stop and it did, the very moment Tori took to the stage. Jade was brave in a I'll-die-fighting way but Tori was brave in a I'll-gladly-sacrifice-myself way that Jade admired. It made Tori a strong figure in Jade's eyes.
"Slow down girl... you're not going anywhere. Just wait around and see. Maybe I'm much more. You never know what lies ahead. I promise I can be anyone, I can be anything. Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed. I can be anyone, anything. I promise I can be what you need. Tell me, tell me, what makes you think that you are invincible? I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure. Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable, impossible," Jade finished, the last note echoing with her whispered last word. She had always been too scared to reach out for Tori and put everything on the line only to be rejected, so she hadn't tried, feeling like it was practically emotional suicide. Tori took that step though. She did what Jade couldn't. Tori wasn't invincible after all. She wasn't as hard to reach as she thought. They were both vulnerable to one another. They really did need each other and the denial had to stop. Jade wanted to be someone Tori could rely in. She wanted to tell Tori for so long. Now with the words put out there, she had nothing else to do but wait and hope.
"You've wanted to sing that to me all this time?" Tori questioned, voice quiet. Jade couldn't quite figure out the emotions hidden in her voice so she just continued to speak honestly.
"Yeah, but like I said, I was being a weenie. A coward. You didn't deserve what I did to you just to make myself feel better," Jade answered, laughing without humor at her own stupidity. There was a moment of silence before Tori replied.
"I was told the world needs weenies," she pointed out, offering Jade a reassuring smile. Her voice spoke of comfort and Jade gratefully basked in it. It felt safe and secure while also opening a new door between them, one that looked to hold something great.
"Well, count me out. From now on I'm going to have you hear, see, and feel how much I care for you as often as I can. That is…if you'll have me," Jade whispered, setting aside the instrument and letting her hands fret with the zipper of her jacket. Her gaze fell from Tori's face in her anxiety. Tori stopped the nervous action by gripping Jade's hands firmly in hers. It was her unspoken confirmation before she said it out loud. She scooted up to sit right by Jade.
"Trust me, those words may have been songs written for someone else but they apply to me and you too. I care about you, I always have, and I want to see where this goes," Tori accepted, making sure Jade was looking at her before speaking. She raised her arms in the universal sign of wanting a hug and this time Jade threw herself into it wholeheartedly and without restraint. She held Tori close and never wanted to let her go. They sat there on Jade's car, enjoying the warm safe embrace. It was new and exciting for both of them. They had been fighting their undeniable attraction for so long that it felt good to just let it all go and accept it. It was a lot less stressful and a lot more satisfactory. They didn't move a single inch until the event was over and people were starting to head home.
The gang caught up with them, each smiling in their own way when they saw Jade and Tori snuggled up together. It was weird at first but welcomed after the hard road getting to where they were now. They exchanged goodbyes with the two and set a day to hang out then parted ways. Jade drove Tori home and dropped her off with a promise of a date tomorrow night. Tori was so happy she kissed Jade and then ran off before she could say anything or let Jade see the crazy blush on her face. Jade grinned idiotically, waited for her to get inside, and then drove home at a leisurely pace. All that fighting did get them somewhere after all and it was right where they wanted to be. It was a long, tiring, irritating, path to travel down but somewhere along the line they crossed paths and turned down one meant for two. A better future lied ahead and it looked promising.
Song List:
Hurting Me Now by Sia
Cold by Crossfade
She Will Be Loved by Maroon5
Other Way by Weezer
All That We Needed by Plain White T's
Second Go by Lights
Falling In by Lifehouse
Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade
