Chapter 1.
It was Maura Isles 36. birthday and like any other day, she had spent it alone.
Her mother had send a birthday card from Rome a couple of days ago, wishing her success and luck for the upcoming year, without any emotion or warmth in it.
Well, what a surprise!
Maura read it and tried to swallow the lump in her throat, that had built up regarding the few cold words, scribbled on the back of the card.
"Darling,
I wish you all the success in the world and good luck in reaching the goals you have set for the upcoming year. Make me proud. Your mother, Constance."
That was it.
No "I`ll be thinking of you.", no "I`ll call you later.", no "I wish I was with you today." and of course no "I love you." at the end of her note.
Had she ever heard those words from her mother? Maura wondered...
She had been working late, like on any other day and after that, she had ordered some Japanese food to share with her only friend, her giant tortoise- Bass.
He slowly stuck out his head and Maura smiled at the way, how greedy he ate his green salad- at least for a tortoise.
She patted his big brown shell and gazed up, out of her kitchen window, to see the silver moon shine brightly against the black sky.
Something inside of her felt weird. It was the same feeling every year on her birthday and she still couldn`t managed to figure out, what it was.
She felt empty. Like she was missing something, she had lost a long time ago, but she couldn`t remember what it was.
Was she just lonely?
No. She was used to being alone. She had always been.
Whenever she had to attend all those horrible business meetings and parties, she always felt like the alien with the three heads.
She would smile politely and nod while hoping, that nobody would try to talk to her.
If it happened, she would start to google mouth and throw medical terms that nobody would understand und everyone would just frown and fake a smile until she would turn around to get some more punch.
She knew, they would talk behind her back. Laugh at her. The social awkward geek.
She was used to it.
But tonight, it felt like something... no, someONE was missing.
"I`ll be right back, Bass. Take good care of the house- I`m counting on you, okay?", she said and smiled a tired smile at the giant animal as she took the keys and shut the front door.
It was late august and the air was still sticky and warm.
She loved to be able to just walk outside without a coat or anything and still feel comfortable.
She started walking without thinking.
She crossed some streets and slowly entered the park with its giant old trees, which looked lovely and mysterious by the pale light of the moon.
The crickets sang and some bats were hunting bugs and moths over the little lake she had just approached and wondered if it had always been there.
Thousands of tiny lights shimmered like a million stars dancing on its surface and it looked almost magical...
She sat down on an old wooden bench and took a few deep breaths, inhaling the rich sent of nature, as far as you could call it so- in the middle of the city.
She just sat there. Waiting.
For what? Or... who?
There she was. Sitting in the darkness. By herself.
Gazing up to the stars and their lights reflected in the beauty of her hazel eyes- so bright, so shimmering, it looked like they were on fire.
Her blonde gentle curls fell over her shoulders like liquid gold, surrounding her perfectly shaped face like a piece of art.
She looked like an angel.
She didn`t know, why she was here.
She didn`t know, that I called her.
I pulled at her heart. I whispered to it.
She had no clue.
I had follwed her through the streets to make sure, she would arrive save. And to comfort her- even if she didn`t know that I did.
Now I was standing here, hiding behind the trees, not dare to move or even... breathe.
I was doing this to her, every year on this particular day.
I didn`t even know why.
I wanted to see her. Make sure, she`s okay... was she?
She was a loner. Like me.
But how would she have turned out to be, if it didn`t happend?
What if I hadn`t been there that night?
What if I had noticed her and changed my mind?
I changed her path. She could have lived a normal life... if only...
Oh look at her... she`s so precious...
I made a few steps- cautiously.
A branch cracked underneath my feet.
I held my breath.
A crack. Maura jumped a little by the sound in the darkness and she turned around searching the darkness between the trees.
"Hello?", she called into the emptiness.
Nothing.
Well, what had she expected?
A serial killer, who would step out of the trees, saying "Oh hi, I`m sorry, I scared you, I`m just waiting here in the dark, so I can kill you later.".
She shook her head by the thought and convinced herself, that it must had been some squirrels or rabbits playing around.
She sat back and her thoughts went traveling...
Why was it, that people seem to look back on their life's on their birthdays to ask themselves if they were happy? Satisfied? Successful enough?
She found it ridiculous. She could do that on any other day- why on her birthday?
But was she... happy?
No. Not at all. Definitely. No.
Well, that was sad... but not news.
Satisfied?
With what? Her Job?
Yes. She loved it. She knew, being a medical examiner was a nightmare for most people, but for her, it was heaven. So YES.
With her private life?
No. She had none. She had Bass. Okay. What else?
Nothing. A big empty house without no soul or life in it. It was just rooms with furniture, a kitchen she never used, a couch she never sat in, a TV she never turned on.
Usually she came home from work, ordered some food, got into the shower and then hopped into bed with her books. That was it. So NO.
With love?
What`s that? No.
She often wondered, if she would ever be able to love someone... to even recognize the feeling, cause she never learned how it felt from her parents.
Her mother who was always absent, traveling or working, distant and cool... but never- a mother.
Her father, nobody ever dared to talk about. She gave up trying as a little girl. Everyone got wide eyed and whispering, but no one would say a single word.
Maura started to fantasize a perfect daddy, loving and caring, tall and handsome... she imagined, her mother had taken her away from him and he was still trying to find her.
She knew, it wasn`t true, but this little silly spark of hope sometimes still sparkled in her chest.
She had no one.
She never made friends. They thought, she was boring. A nerd. A geek. Which was true, but still... it did hurt.
A tear fell from her eye, running down her bare knee. She shivered.
Was she crying?!
I tried to focus on her face, which grimaced a little and... yes. She cried.
My heart sank to my toes. It... hurt?!
I closed my eyes.
Maura... it`s okay. I am here. Don`t cry. You`re not alone..
Something happened. Inside of her. It felt like a warm embrace... like a hug- inside.
She pressed a hand to her heart to hold on to this feeling.
It felt like a glowing, a gentle burn in her chest.
She exhaled heavily and her sobbing subsided.
Her heartbeat sped up somehow and Maura wondered, if this was going to be some kind of a panic attack or something?
But she felt calm at the same time... and excited, too.
It felt strange. She was confused...
If only I could get a little closer, to see if she still got those freckles, she had when I found her back then.
If only I could look her in the eye- just once, just a second...
Would she remember me?
No. She couldn`t.
I took her memories away that night. She couldn`t have lived with it. It would have destroyed her.
Not to mention, that they would have locked her away and thought that she was insane, if she had tried to tell the truth.
I will never forgive myself.
Without noticing, I had approached her, step by step.
I could smell her.
It deafened me.
Sweet but spicy. Delicious.
All I hear is my cold heart pounding in my ears.
The moonlight painted shadows on her pale skin. It hypnotized me.
The leaves rustled underneath my feet.
I stood still and looked up bewildered.
Rustling behind her.
She jerked around, her heart seemed to stop for a beat...
A woman. Right behind her back.
She was tall with very long bones, thin and her skin was almost white against the moonlight. It looked like porcelain.
Her thick black hair framed her sharp features in wild curls that almost reached her waist.
She was wrapped up in a long black leather coat and heavy black boots and Maura wondered, why she would dress like that on a hot summer night like this.
Her eyes were... remarkable.
The look in her black eyes was wicked. Like a trapped animal- wild and scared and... helpless?
She didn`t move nor say anything. It looked like, she held her breath.
So did Maura.
Her heart seemed to jump out of her chest.
Who was that woman and what the hell did she want from her?
Attack her? Steal from her? Was she a junky?
Maura knew, she should be afraid- but she wasn`t.
The look on the strangers face wasn`t threatening, she seemed so... fragile- despite her height and her worn out exterior.
There was something about her, that seemed so... familiar.
Did she knew her?
She cleared her throat.
"Who... who are you? What do you want from me?"
Her voice. Honey. Angel.
Her eyes. On me. On my face. My eyes.
She read me, searched me.
It hurt.
I had to go.
Damn, she should`ve never seen me at all.
The woman's eyes were desperate.
She slowly took a step back, then quickly turned on her feet and sped up to leave.
"Hey! Wait!"
Maura stood and ran after her.
She didn`t even knew why.
Was she insane?! Running after a complete creepy stranger who had sneaked up behind her in the darkness? REALLY?!
But something deep inside her tucked at her heart.
"Can I help you?! WAIT!"
But she was gone. She had disappeared between the black trees.
Maura caught her breath. Looking right. Looking left. Turning around.
She was alone.
How could she be gone? So fast?!
Was she hiding somewhere?
"Come back!", Maura whispered, her hand still pressed to her heart.
No sound. Just the crickets. And an old owl was calling into the night.
Maura shivered.
She wrapped her arms around herself and headed home as fast as she could.