To who might read this, I suggest you delete it and also, forget about what you're about to read. Not one word from this shall be spread out to others. Just so you know, I can track you down and I'm sorry if I might resort to finishing you off with my own hands but, luckily I'm not that kind of person. This is just about my pathetic feelings for a certain...friend, if I might say and all the things I wished I had told him when he was still alive.
"My name is L."
Those were the first words he said when we first met at Wammy's House. I'm typing this down, just in case I die tomorrow, when the truth of Light Yagami being 'Kira' would be revealed. My name? Let's see then... ah, that's right. I am L too, but let's just put it as the female counterpart. Anyway, you can just call me "Leigh" for the meantime.
L was my roommate when we were took in by Watari. Yes, World's Greatest Detective was my dear roommate when we were kids. In that place, we weren't allowed to tell each other our real names, we call each other by aliases given to us. Let's just say our relationship was that of 'childhood friends', yet as time passed by, you could say I developed a small crush on him.
And I'm sure, you know where that would most possibly lead to.
Before he was even a detective, our connection was of course stronger. Then, he had to leave along with Watari to solve different cases around the whole world, still using that alias, 'L'. I kept in touch with him, sent him mails and of that sort, since I know it would be impossible for him to ever return. While I, still stayed at Wammy's.
Because, if Mello and Near were the successors of L, then I was the successor of Watari.
As I was saying, I always kept in touch with him though sadly, he wouldn't reply at all to any of them. So I just told myself to stop bothering him, after all I'm just a 'roommate' for L. I then concentrated on trying to invent new things. I came up with some sort of tracking device, where not only just the time, place, and name/alias were presented but also the heartbeat of the one being tracked down's seen on my computer.
Yes, you might think that I'm some kind of lovesick obsessed, psycopath stalker but no. I'm afraid I'm not.
Then, it was the Kira case they were solving in Japan. By this time, I was living somewhere in London. It was in some hotel there. I just took a bath then when I got out of the bathroom...
It was a flat line already.
Of course, since I'm an emotional person I honestly cried the whole night. I turned the tracker off too because it really was too much for me. Then, I went back to Wammy's maybe about a week later after their death. I told myself, that it was the time for the one chosen by L to replace him. As expected though, he wasn't able to do it.
I decided to at least provide some help for Near since Mello left, when I honestly wanted to help the both of them if they'd work together. But I guess not...
I went back to my room there, the one I shared with L. I decided to open my laptop, and then I saw an added file onto my desktop. The file name was 'Final Message'. I tried checking where it came from but sadly, I couldn't get it. So I opened the file and well, let's just say I locked myself in the whole day after hearing L's voice.
I decided to type it down as well, because he asked me to delete it right after I listen to it. So here it was...
"It's on...? Ah, L. Hello. This will be quick..." he cleared his throat before resuming to speak.
"I'm afraid I'm starting to hear the bells, and unbelievably, they're ringing so loud and clear. So here, this message shall be transmitted to your computer if ever Watari gets in danger and would have to press a certain button to delete everything along with this, after it has been sent to you. And please delete it..." a shuffling sound was heard, maybe because L had to change his position.
"Don't worry, I didn't think of you as a stalker for always putting a tracker on us. It was nice to know that even though you stopped sending mails, you kept in touch with us... somehow.
First of all, I'd like to tell you of my first impression on you. Sorry if it may sound quite cheesy, though you understand that, right? I found your [e/c] eyes so innocent, your [h/c] hair so soft and shiny, just as how soft your skin felt. But what really caught my attention was your bright smile. The way you would smile at almost everything was quite stupid and I sort of disliked that, but I felt like when I was with you, and you would always smile at me, my day was complete.
Your sweet attitude, I could never forget that too. Ah, I hope you still remember the time we made a pyramid with those chocolate coated crackers while working on a homework. There are so many things I could still remember... but I'm pressed for time, I can't enumerate all those right now..."
A shaky sigh was heard before L started to speak again.
"Eventually we had to part ways since I had to be a detective. I rarely had time to visit Wammy's House, but you still sent some mails to me. I'm sorry I couldn't reply to those. I had wanted to personally read them and reply but I really couldn't. During the times when I'm alone, staring at my screen, I would feel sort of lonely..."
"I didn't think that I would miss you..."
"It felt bad when you stopped sending the mails, until I found out about your tracker," some sort of chuckle was heard then he cleared his throat once again.
"Even if I'm dead, may you still be the same L I know who's lively yet at the same time, dependable. Don't forget to eat sweets... I wish... I could visit Wammy's house again with you and take a break from this case... even for a day." Outside, there was a man's voice calling for him which made L click his tongue and a long pause was heard. It seems that L had to talk to the person outside the room before he continued on with his message.
"I'm sorry about that, it seems I have to hurry up...sniff," I don't feel like believing or even thinking that L was, actually crying.
"Now that... my end seems to be at hand, sniff... I just want to say that... My real name is... L Lawliet... it feels good that I finally told you what my real name is..."
"Thank you for everything. I would cherish all those memories, all the little things, sniff. Even though you treated me, only as a friend...sniff, you were more than that to me. Uhm... So, goodbye...
I, sniff... love you, [nickname]." then three beeps were heard, telling me it was the end of the message.
After arriving to Japan, I managed to ask the Japanese police who started doubting Light where they had buried L's and Watari's body. I went there... alone, and I dug up some soil to place the plastic filled with papers. Or maybe, more like letters. You should have an idea as to what I wrote there so I won't elaborate about it any further. I know it might seem stupid but hey...
And then I left after dropping a few tears again... As I cried there, kneeling down, rain started to pour and I forgot to bring an umbrella.
Very nice.
I covered my face and started sobbing like a kid there. A cold wind blew which shocked me because I didn't feel the rain anymore. I looked up and saw a hazy umbrella...
Which was held on by Watari then stood beside me was L. He sat beside me, you know the way he really sits and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. My eyes widened and then bawled there for a few minutes. When I finally managed to stop, L smiled and hugged me before he mouthed the words, "Goodbye..."
The rain stopped and I wiped my face free of tears and acid rain. I guess I'll just end this here, I have to get ready. Just a few more hours 'til Light would be trapped and he would eventually reveal that he's Kira. So to whoever you are now, reading this... thank you for considering this as bullshit which means you have to forget about this.
It's just because I wasn't able to tell him... that I love him too.
So if I die a few hours later, I won't forget to tell him if I ever see him on the other side.
A/N: Haha I'm sorry it's been a while since I watched death note so I'm sorry if there seems to be some mistakes here and there. Also, I know that I should be concentrating on ADHE but well, I tend to get sidetracked haha. So yeah this is a one-shot... hope you guys like it, lol.