What REALLY Happened - Game
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I also don't bother to play video games.
Gaz was sitting on the couch playing her Game Slave... as if she ever in her life did anything else. Dib collected the mail and shouted for joy when he saw what was in the mail for him today. He left most of the mail on the kitchen table, sat down on the couch, and excitedly opened his new issue of "Crop Circle Magazine."
"Those rags just scam money from gullible idiots like you," Gaz grumbled.
Ignoring her whining, Dib excitedly ran down the table of contents.
"What To Do If You Get Bitten by a Werewolf... How to Ensure Top Quality Ghost Recordings... AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH BIGFOOT!" Dib knew which article he was going to read first!
He read in rapt silence for a few moments until he came to a supposed quote from Bigfoot, saying he sometimes liked to wear specially made shoes to confuse people who were tracking him.
"Oh, come ON! Bigfoot would never say that!" Dib protested.
"Do you have to read that in here?" Gaz snarled. "I'm trying to play a game!"
"So who's stopping you?" said Dib.
"YOU-are-I-can't-even-play-my-GAME!" Gaz tapped faster,.
"I'm nowhere near you; I'm way over here! You've got all the room you need, Gaz."
"You're... TALKING!" Gaz hissed, horrified to the core that somebody dared to be, well, talking.
"That's still not stopping you from playing," Dib pointed out. "You've always got your panties in a knot over nothing."
"Why don't you just GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!" Gaz stormed, her fingers working wildly. "I can't even PLAY!"
"Mysterious Mysteries is on in five minutes! And you sure ARE playing, by the looks of it!"
Gaz uttered an exaggerated groan as Dib returned to his article. He now began to murmur to himself to make sure he was really reading what he thought he was reading. "'... and I have also gone to the fashion shows, you know, when they are showing all the latest fur creations... '" A wry expression crossed Dib's face. "I'm starting to think this article must be a joke," he said to himself, before returning to the article, "'... and everybody admires my - "
Nobody who was more than a couple of yards away would have heard him, but it was still much too loud for Gaz's liking.
"Dib I swear to all that is within the regions both above and below the earth that if you do not shut up right this second I will make the remainder of your life a living nightmare world from which there is no waking and snarl growl grrrROWF! ..."
"Yeah yeah that's nice Gaz."
Being related to Gaz did not offer much in the way of benefits, but it did allow Dib to know her better than anyone else. True, Gaz sometimes did lose her last marble and go completely berserk. However, Dib also knew that she saved herself a lot of effort by merely creating the impression that she was on the verge of doing that. When she tried this with people who didn't know her well, Gaz got very good results. Dib, on the other hand, could always tell which of her threats were real and which ones were merely, well, whining. Dib couldn't explain how he knew, but this was definitely one of the latter.
As Dib continued reading, Gaz was allowing herself to get more and more worked up over the fact that the room wasn't as silent as a crypt at midnight. Her breath hissed in and out between her clenched teeth, her eyes glazed over, and drool began to drip from her chin.
"'... and Helmut Lang is going to bring out a new line of winter wear inspired by my visit... ' Okay, that's it; this MUST be the April issue and it got held up in the mail!" Dib declared, turning back to the publication's masthead to check the release date.
With a loud groan of exasperation, Gaz flung herself off the sofa. She stomped up the stairs to her room and slammed the door, shaking the house.
"Well EXCUUUUUUUSE ME!" Dib stared after her, but only for a moment. He rolled his eyes and turned back to his magazine, shaking his head. Whatever was up Gaz's ass, it was big, it was stuck, and it did not want to come out.
As he scanned the table of contents, Dib noticed an article titled, "A Note to Our Readers." He turned to the article and started reading about how much we all enjoy a good laugh now and then, but just then the familiar music for "Mysterious Mysteries" started up. Dib set the magazine aside and sat back to enjoy his favorite program.
At least this show was something he could always take seriously.
The End