Hi. Although I'm not new to the site this is my first Inuyasha fanfic. I've wanted to write one for a while and finally did.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha.

Chapter 1

Rin sat surrounded by blossoms of all colors. She giggled as she realized she had to sit completely straight in order to see above the hundreds of beautiful blooms. Her eyes and hands inspected each bloom within her grasp until she chose a beautiful purple one whose name she did not know. Her search continued further and she found another, this one a deep blue and larger than the first.

Rin placed the purple flower in hair that was placed elegantly atop her head. She was now able to devote her full attention to the larger blossom in her hand. She stroked it as gently as possible, treasuring its beauty. "I should give this to Sesshomaru-sama. It's too beautiful for me to keep all to myself."

Sesshomaru stood at the window of his study, staring down into his gardens. He had to admit to himself that they were indeed magnificent, one of the two things in this wretched world that ever gave him solace. He sighed as he saw the black spot among a particularly large group of flowers that revealed the only other thing that could comfort him.

He felt a calmness wash over him as he watched Rin in his flowers. She had always loved the bright blossoms of the flowers. The corner of his mouth threatened to jerk upward as he remembered all the times she had adorned him, Jaken, and Ah-Un in wreaths of the plants she picked.

He saw the object of his thoughts rise and begin her way back to the castle. Rin's slightly cupped hands were held before her and he saw the blue bloom that rested on them.

Sesshomaru sighed again as he turned from the window. Today he did not want to look upon his gardens if she was not to be found in them. He crossed the room to sit in a comfortable chair by another window, one that looked out to the mountains. The daiyokai knew that Rin was bringing the flower to him, but he was not certain he wanted to receive it.

There was a soft knock on the door. "You may enter, Rin," he said in his usual uninterested tone. He heard the heavy door open and slide across the thick carpet. His gaze still focused out the window, his expressionless face turned away from where she would soon stand before him.

Sesshomaru didn't want too look at his ward. He still didn't want to acknowledge the way his feelings for her had changed throughout the few years she had been with him. He didn't want to see her now developed body move elegantly across the floor in place of the ungraceful run of a child. He didn't want to watch the fluid movement as she knelt at his feet instead just dropping to the ground and sprawling upon the floor. He didn't want to notice the modest blush of her cheeks as she smoothed the skirts of her kimono to sit as a proper lady should where before she wouldn't have been concerned. No, he didn't want to acknowledge how his ward had changed from a free-spirited and dirty child to this elegant and refined woman that now sat before him.

"Sesshomaru-sama," Rin said with a slight bow. Her hands were still held before her, just closer to her body. She waited for his permission to rise.

"Rin." It was all she would receive from him but it didn't bother her. Against his wishes, Sesshomaru was still able to note how her smile had changed as well. It was still wide and lit up her entire face. It was still innocent, still all his. But now it was softer as her face had matured. Her eyes were not quite so big in her face and sparkled with a different type of light. It was amazing how different she looked with her hair in a stylish knot instead of that awkward side ponytail.

"I picked this for you, Sesshomaru-sama," Rin said as she held her hands out to her lord.

Sesshomaru sighed inwardly and closed his eyes. He couldn't understand why it was tormenting him to be in her presence. Rin had been with him thirteen years and was now just weeks away from her twentieth birthday. It was just in these last few years that his feelings had begun to change. Reluctantly he opened his eyes and slowly turned his head towards her.

Rin looked into her lord's eyes and her smile widened even more. She thrust her hands higher in hopes that he would accept her small gift.

"Arigato." Rin giggled in response and Sesshomaru was again reminded of another way in which she had changed. He looked at the flower before turning his gaze back to her. "You may leave now, Rin," he said before turning his face back to the window, dismissing her.

Rin said nothing as she stood and bowed deeply before leaving the room. She shut the door quietly and went to entertain herself for the rest of the afternoon.

Sesshomaru was glad for this. He hated the way her voice sounded now. It was rich and dripped with happiness, devotion, and love for her lord. He snorted at this thought. Love? Was it possible that she cared for him in that way? He realized then that that was what his feelings had changed to.

He raised the blossom in his hands to eye level. As he starred at the blue petals he thought about the impossibility of making Rin Lady of the Western Lands. There was no likelihood of his subjects respecting another human ruler.

For four years now Jaken had been trying to get him to take Rin to a human settlement and marry her off. She was of the proper age but Sesshomaru had always told him not yet. That it wasn't the right time. The toad would leave in a huff and Sesshomaru himself didn't understand his actions—until now.

He brought the flower to his nose and inhaled its fragrance. He closed his eyes and let the scent wash over him. As it did a fainter, but sweeter aroma overtook his senses. Rin. Sesshomaru's eyes snapped open and he crushed the flower in his clawed hand. He knew then what he had to do.

Rin was rushing through the dark castle. She had snuck out after being put to bed to return to the gardens because she couldn't sleep. She knew she would be in trouble if she was caught. Pale hands pulled the thin robe around her as she turned into the corridor that held her room.

Rin's hand was on the doorknob when she heard voices inside. She pressed her ear against the door and listened.

"You must take her to the village tomorrow. It will be much more difficult to find her a human husband after she turns twenty. I can't understand why you've kept her here this long."

"I grow tired of this argument, Jaken."

Rin gasped after hearing her lord's voice.

"Then tomorrow?"

"I know what I must do now."

Tears welled up in her eyes when she realized that her lord was getting rid of her. She released a sob and ran as quickly as she could away from the room. Blinded by tears, Rin could only see enough to keep her from running into the walls. Her muscles began to ache but she forced herself to keep running. She rushed inside the first open room she found and threw herself upon the bed and cried.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Jaken asked as his lord moved to leave the room.

"I'm sure you are now aware that Rin overheard our conversation." If possible, his voice was even icier than normal as he opened the door to Rin's room.

"Hai, but—"

"Jaken, you are stay away from my presence until I summon you. Do not concern yourself with Rin, either. I will attend to her." The daiyokai stepped into the hall and slowly followed Rin's scent to trace her path.

Rin was devastated. She couldn't understand what she had done to lose her lord's favor to the point he wanted to be completely rid of her. Her heart was breaking as she comprehended the fact that the man she loved wanted nothing to do with her. As much as she had wished otherwise, Rin had known all along that there would never be anything between them, so she served him as best of her abilities. Knowing that she was able to bring him some small happiness kept her satisfied and her love for him increased. She felt so betrayed. Sesshomaru had saved her life countless times and owed her nothing but she had hoped that after having devoted herself to him these many years he would have been more considerate towards her feelings.

Her eyes were red and her throat was sore, but still she cried. Rin knew that she had probably woken half the yokai household with her wailing, but she didn't care. She cried for herself but mostly she cried for her lord.

Sesshomaru kept his face steady as he followed Rin's scent though the halls. He could hear her crying but couldn't pinpoint her location and told the many servants she had woken to return to their beds.

Her scent became stronger and he knew he was close to finding her. He knew what she had heard and could imagine what she thought of him right now. As he kept moving he realized that he was now in his personal wing of the castle. He walked down the corridor and saw the doors to his rooms wide open. The volume of her sobs grew louder and her scent grew more potent as he moved closer to the room.

He stopped at the doorway and looked into his bedroom. There, sprawled across his bed, was the woman who had run away from him. The woman who invaded his thoughts all day, every day. The woman that he now knew he loved. "Rin."

She startled upon hearing her lord's voice. She sat bolt upright in the bed and stared at him as he stood in the doorway. "S-Ses-sho-m-maru-u-s-s-sam-ma," she sobbed.

"Why do you cry?"

"B-b-bec-cuas-se." Sesshomaru stepped into the room and closed the doors behind him. She gave him a quizzical look behind her tears that he answered by slowly walking towards her. Rin still couldn't understand why he would come into the room with her when he was obviously disgusted with her humanity. It was only as he stepped further into the room that she took time to notice her surroundings.

Rin finally realized what room she had found refuge in. She flung herself from the bed and fell prostrate on the floor before Sesshomaru's feet her fear stopping her tears. "Gomen, Sesshomaru-sama! I didn't mean to intrude!"

"Rise, Rin." He looked down to her small form on the floor. He could smell her fear and could see her shaking violently. His eyes softened just the slightest bit at the sight before him and the knowledge that it was he who had reduced her to this. He crouched down and lifted her into his arms. Her fear amplified and he heard her struggling for breath. He sat them down on the bed and pulled her closer to him, rubbing her arms in an attempt to warm her chilled body.

It took several minutes but her breathing regulated and her tears eventually subsided. He had removed his hands from her arms and encircled her with his own, pulling her smaller body even closer to his. Her back was to his chest and he placed his chin atop her head.

"You are safe now, Rin."

"I wasn't concerned for my safety, my lord," she said quietly.

Sesshomaru knew why she was upset, but he wanted to hear it from her. He needed to know that he wasn't making a mistake. "Then why were you crying?" She pulled his arms tighter around her but didn't answer. "I won't ask again."

Rin shuddered and took in a deep breath to steady herself, knowing better than to test her lord. "Gomen, Sesshomaru-sama, I know it was wrong, but I was eavesdropping on you and Jaken-kun and I heard how you're going to send me away tomorrow!" She buried her face in the crook of his arm. "Please, Sesshomaru-sama, I don't want to leave you! I want to stay with you forever!"

"Rin, you do fully understand what it means for me to be a yokai and you to be a human?"

"I don't care! I don't care that we can never be more than this! I just want to be with you!" He tears started again, but she wasn't sobbing like before and added in a quieter tone: "I'll die if you leave me." Sesshomaru kissed the top of her head very gently. "S-Sesshomaru-sama?"

"I am truly sorry for what you overheard, however, you did not listen to the entire conversation. Also, you should know that Jaken has argued with me about this for the past four years. If I was going to send you away, I would have done so by now. You are no doubt wondering why I have decided not to send you away, are you not?"

"H-hai. I thought you were angry with me."

"What could you have possibly done to induce my anger?" She shrugged her shoulders. "How could you think that I would just forsake you that way? Have I not given you the best of care in all the time you've been with me?"

"Hai."

"Then why would you fear that?"

"I don't know. But the thought still terrifies me."

"As well it should. I thank you for your devotion and in return I promise you this: You will never be permanently separated from me."

"It is not just devotion, my lord."

"Then what causes you to act in such a way?"

"Love." It was barely a whisper but she knew he heard it.

"Rin, I—"

"I know, Sesshomaru-sama! I know that you will never be able to love me! But I already told you it will be enough if you just allow me to stay with you always! All I ask is to be near you!"

"And this would satisfy you? You would crave nothing more from me?"

"Of course I would crave more from you! Everyday I crave more from you! I may still have my innocence, but I am not stupid, my lord. I know what it means for a man and woman to truly love each other; to show their love with their bodies and not their words."

"And you would have me prove my feelings in this way?"

"No, my lord! I will never ask you to lie to me."

"What if I were honest?"

"How could you be honest when you will never love me?"

Sesshomaru used one of his hands to brush her hair away from the left side of her face and then moved his head to her shoulder. His mouth was at her ear and his words blew his sweet breath across her skin. "How could you think that I would not care for you in such a way? I have always cared for you, but as you have grown older and changed from a child to a woman, my feelings for you have changed as well."

"Sesshomaru-sama . . ."

"No, Rin. Not Sesshomaru-sama, not anymore."

"Sesshomaru . . ."

"My Rin, I have confessed my feelings toward you. But there is still much more I wish to say. I would take you as my mate." He placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. "I presume you understand what our largest obstacle is?"

"My humanity."

"Correct."

"How I've wished so many times that I could become a yokai so that you would be able to love me."

"Human though you are, I do. However, I must know how far would you be willing to go to have that wish granted?"

"I would do anything."

"Would you risk great pain? Would you sacrifice everything?"

"Hai, Sesshomaru, anything if it meant you would love me and I could be with forever. But I don't understand why you ask me these things. There is nothing I can do to change this!"

He loosened his grip on her and turned her in his arms. He looked deeply into her eyes. "Rin, I will suffer no hanyo offspring, is that understood?"

"H-hai, but I knew that already." Rin felt herself melting in his molten gaze.

"Rin, I have already stated that I would take you as my mate yet I refuse to father hanyo pups. There is only one solution to this problem." He waited for her to speak, but she said nothing, just continued staring into his eyes. "I would turn you into a yokai. I would make you like myself, but only if you truly desired it. I would do nothing that I thought might ever hurt you and if you think that several hundred years from now you would wish it otherwise, I will not do it. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

"No, I don't. There is no way for me to become like you so why do you tempt me with things that can never be?"

"This is no false promise."

"Then why was Inuyasha's mother not changed? Why is your brother a hanyo if there was another way?"

"Because I am selfish. My father was not. He did not wish to change Inuyasha's mother even though he had the power to do so. So very few of our race are strong enough to turn another to our ways."

"Why?" Rin asked as she snuggled back into his chest and tucked her head beneath his chin again.

"First and foremost because it is extremely painful for our mates and many cannot bear the thought of the one the love in such pain. Secondly, because it changes you in more ways than just human to yokai. You would be much different in many, many ways."

"I would not be myself anymore? If I am not myself I might not love you afterwards."

"You would still be Rin, just more so. You would possess many powers, all your abilities enhanced. You would still love me; I can assure you of that. I wouldn't turn you until after we are mated and then the bond would be all the stronger."

"You said it would be painful."

"Very much so. The process takes many days to complete." Sesshomaru could sense her building fear. "I have not nor will I ever lie to you. The transformation is exceedingly painful and most of the time you be unconscious due to it. The times when you are awake will be unbearable and I fear that you may hate me for doing that to you."

"How could I hate you for doing something that will allow us to be together?"

"You say such things now, but you have never known pain like this."

"I've already died twice now."

"Hai, but that pain was quick and fleeting. This will be much more intense and unrelenting in its claim upon your body."

"How can I convince you? I love you so much and have wished for this so long. Do not tell me there is a way for our love and then snatch it away from me! My heart cannot bear the thought of having your love only to have it wrenched away to leave me broken."

"I would not devastate you in such a way. I wanted this decision to be completely yours. As I said, I am much more selfish than my father because I am willing to hurt you in order to achieve my own happiness. To change you into something you were never intended to be. You are nearing twenty, Rin. A third of your life is almost over. I will not follow you immediately in death so I know not how long we would be separated. Also, I would be forced to take a yokai mate after you are gone. I would not love her, but it is my duty to produce an heir."

"Won't I be a hanyo, a being that you despise above all else?"

"No. Unlike my brother you would not be created from the union of a human and demon. Instead of a merger of blood, my yokai blood would devour your human blood. It will eradicate it from your body and replace it with my own."

"It will be your blood running through my veins. Not my own."

"It will be your own because once we mate you will belong to me and I to you. It is much more than a marriage. It is a bonding of souls."

"And I would be able to give you the full blooded heir that you so desire?"

"Hai. You will become an inuyokai."

Rin pulled away from the ring of his arms just enough to make eye contact again. "Would this please you as well, Sesshomaru? Do you wish me to be with always? Do you wish to wake up to me every morning? Do you wish me to bear your children?"

"Hai."

"Would you promise to remain faithful until the end? That even if you grow bored with me, you will never turn to another for your pleasure?"

"I will never grow tired of your company."

"I know how men's minds work."

"You will not be human. You will not age. There is no reason for you to think that I would ever behave in such a way."

"Would you be as good a father to our children as you were to me?"

"What must I do to ease your doubts? I give you my life, my soul. I shall do everything within my power to please you and only you. Our pups will want for nothing and neither will you. All I ask for in return is your continuing love and devotion."

"May I ask for only the same in return?"

"You will receive everything I can give you." He took her right hand in his and brought it to his mouth where he placed a gentle kiss on the back of it. "Rin, will you be my mate?"

"Hai, Sesshomaru, my lord, my love."

"You will suffer this pain for me?"

Rin shook her head. "No, not for you—for us."

"So be it. Forgive my weakness."

I know that Sesshomaru is somewhat OOC, so please don't fuss at me for it. As I said before, this is my first Inuyasha fanfic so please review. All input is appreciated. There is more to the story and I plan to update soon if I get a good response from the first chapter. I also have at least one lemon planned for later.