Hello everyone, this is the first chapter of Bits of Hidan... I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the original characters.

Warning: This chapter contains some homosexual references

:)

It was one of those days. The others were out on missions; Kisame and Itachi snooping around the Kyuubi, while Sasori and Deidara were meeting the former's spies for intelligence. He was just bored. Surprisingly his partner was not in the mood to collect bounties today. Instead, he was hunched over his desk counting his precious money since he got up, which was typically six in the morning. Unfortunately, he woke up early today – around nine in the morning – which was quite unusual considering his record of staying up well into the night and waking up around the afternoon. Today was an unusual day.

Hidan was not a morning person, however, he tried to make the most of his morning. He prepared breakfast for himself: he poured some milk and even some of those silly shaped and colored cereals that Tobi loves into a bowl. He did not particularily enjoy the meal since he did not have a sweet tooth, but he was convinced that this was what "morning people" enjoy, so he went with it anyway.

Although he was not a person to follow common practices – like cereal for breakfast –, he was currently out of his comfort zone and so decided to do what he thought others typically do in the morning. He had breakfast, brushed his teeth, took a refreshing shower, and since everything was out of the norm today, he decided to keep his hair down covering his forehead and the sides of his face.

Hidan was currently lounging in the living room waiting for somebody – anybody – to make an appearance. However, the remaining members in the hideouts were either still asleep, luckily that was Tobi; busy doing something in their rooms: Pein-sama and Kakuzu; or they just creep the hell out of Hidan – aka Zetsu. He does not even dare to disturb any of them – well, he does have the guts to disturb his partner, but that was his backup plan. He decided to mull over some things to pass time. He could go pray, but he really prefered to do it right before bed or right after a sacrifice. Hidan spent a good few minutes coming up with pranks to pull on Deidara, and a few drooling over the thoughts of sacrificing for Jashin-sama. However, as any young man's mind eventually does, Hidan's drifted off to dirty thoughts. His biggest problem was not only boredom anymore it was also being horny.

Hidan's mind was mischievous by nature no matter how old he gets. Naturally, he came up with a scheme to fix both of his "problems" at the same time. He ventured out of the living room into the dimly lit hallway – even though it was bright and sunny outside. Apparently, Pein thought it best to keep the atmosphere of a hideout regardless of the weather surrounding them. Hidan always thought that man had some deep unresolved issues. Anyway, the hallway was dim, lit by candles, and a couple of meters wide. To reach his destination, Hidan had to walk left from the living room and kitchen, pass a couple of doors leading to the storage room and general bathroom, turn a right, climb the stairs to the second floor. Once there, he passed Kisame and Itachi's room to his right, a few steps further Sasori and Deidara's room, and finally after walking 10 more feet, entered Kakuzu and his room to the right.

Kakuzu was sitting at his desk still counting money. His desk was a good couple of feet to the left from the bedroom's door. Right across from the desk was the entrance to their shared bathroom. The bathroom was not to Hidan's "fancy" liking. It only had a sink, a toilet, and a good-sized glass shower. They had a couple of twin-sized beds in the room resting a good few feet apart. Hidan's was pressed on the wall next to the bathroom's entrance with a nightstand and a lamp next to it. Kakuzu's has a similar layout on the opposite wall. Next to Kakuzu's desk was a door leading to their shared closet. Kakuzu always fussed Hidan about keeping his clothes neatly folded since they share the space. However, the Jashinist typically threw his bloodied and dirtied clothes in with the clean ones. Kakuzu did not allow more than needed furniture in the room, therefore he decided that Hidan does not need a desk like his own. Although Hidan was annoyed by the decision and threw a "tantrum" to use Kakuzu's wording, it was a fair decision since Hidan was not one to sit still for a few minutes let alone do something productive.

Hidan walked into the room and shut the door quitely behind him. He knew that it did not matter if he shut it quitely since Kakuzu was aware of his presence the minute he stepped foot on this floor. However, he did not want to be lectured about being loud by Kakuzu now. He had something else spinning in his mind. Hidan stood right behind his partner, who kept counting the bills and ignoring him. He dipped his head past Kakuzu's shoulders and watched his hands for a few seconds move swiftly from one bill to the next.

"I am fucking bored," Hidan finally decided to speak. "Why do you heathens wake up so fucking early anyway? There is nothing to do!"

"Go back to sleep," was the simple reply.

Kakuzu was determined not to let Hidan get under his skin. He knew that once the younger man starts a rant that typically evolves into a clash between them. He was surprised that Hidan actually woke up early today. He always cherished the mornings because the young Jashinist was asleep. Kakuzu was happy that Hidan left the room this morning and did not make an appearance. That was until now. Kakuzu knew his peace was over. Hidan was up to something, and he was determined not to fall for it.

"I can't fucking sleep now. I have another problem!" Hidan replied exasperatedly.

This was how their conversations typically went. Hidan complaining about something and Kakuzu ignoring him. Therefore, as per usual, Kakuzu decided to ignore him, and Hidan decided to go on,

"I am fucking horny!"

That declaration made Kakuzu pause his counting. This was a first between them. Hidan never spoke of anything sexual – aside from his constant cussing. And Kakuzu assumed that the so-called priest did not care for nor practice such things as intercourse. Kakuzu had to formulate a strategic reply. On the one hand, he could ignore the Jashinist, but that was sure to spark a conflict that promises to keep him away from finishing his financial task since Hidan does not like being ignored. On the other hand, he could amuse Hidan by contributing to the conversation. However, knowing his partner, Kakuzu knew that option will consume a lot of his time as well – Hidan babbles a lot.

Kakuzu decided to grunt in reply. That really was the middle option. However, it did not sit well with Hidan's scheme, so he decided to urge on the conversation,

"When was the last time you were fucking horny, old man?"

Kakuzu decided to ignore that. He was under no obligation to reply to such a question. In reality, Kakuzu mulled, it has been a long while ago. He was always good at muting his primal desired and he grew accustomed to doing so. Kakuzu saw no necessity in complying with such desires, which was a position he shared on emotions as well.

Hidan, however, was not amused by Kakuzu's decision to ignore him. He had motives other than teasing his partner, he was horny after all, and ignoring him was just not going to do it. He decided to take things a step further, so he stretched his right hand and grabbed a hold of the latter's crotch. He then decided to try his luck and whisper into Kakuzu's left ear, his un-slicked hair tickling the latter, Have those muscles fucking retired, Ka Ku Zu? He stretched his partner's name to provoke him further.

A split of a second later, the remaining occupants of the hideout: Pein-sama, Zetsu, and Tobi, were jolted out of their current pursuits by the loud sound of something crashing.

Kakuzu on the other hand, had to pay for a new bathroom door and a new glass door for the shower, but it was worth it.

So this was the first chapter! Hopefully there will be many more to come!

Please leave your impressions, suggestions, comments, and constructive criticism in a review!

I am open to write out any scenarios you want, so please send those in a PM or leave them in a review. Also, if you do send or leave an idea that you wish for me to add to this story, I will give credit of the plot to you in the introduction to the specific chapter. If you wish to remain anonymous send your idea in a PM and write a note indicating your wish for confidentiality.

Thank you! and remember, REVIEW!

:)