Ladies whispered, tinted lips hovering close to one another's ears as they gossiped.
Men chuckled and sipped brandy to disguise their lies.
The court was a difficult and dangerous beast to meddle with, and Sarah feared she had just poked it with a stick by marrying its king.
"You will do wonderful," Jareth murmured, smirking without malice. "You know you will."
Sarah straightened her shoulders under his grasp, his cloak shifting on her shoulders as she shrunk against his chest.
"One of the maids told me she saw a lord's wife get poisoned last week," Sarah murmured, uncharacteristically meek. "She said the poor women choked for a good five minutes before they forced her to vomit it up all over the floor."
Jareth gazed out at the nobility, his animalistic eyes appearing quite dangerous in the dim light.
"A dreadful turn of events," he said gently. "But you are the wife of me, a goblin king who would gladly kill anyone who dared touch his queen. Besides, how could anyone ever harm someone as lovely as you, dearest?"
Sarah knew she looked beautiful. She was wearing a dress with a glittering skirt and a tight fitting corset that felt surprisingly roomy. She would be lying to say she hadn't put on a tad bit of weight since she was a girl, even if all the delicious food had been enchanted to never damage a consumer's delicate physique.
Heaving a long-suffering sigh, Sarah removed Jareth's cloak and stood, eyes shining with determination to not go down in goblin history as a pitiful queen.
"Wish me luck," she said grimly and went to join a circle of eligible bachelorettes giggling about scandalous seductions.
A little while later, Sarah found herself growing quite lightheaded. She blamed it on the wine she had sampled earlier and found her way to Jareth.
He was lounging in the corner, ignoring the women flirting with him in favor of admiring his wife. Sarah had no doubt of his loyalty, but she shot the vile women a scathing look nonetheless.
Sarah settled herself next to him, took his hand and began fanning herself with her elaborate swan feather fan.
"I feel rather hot," she remarked, panting a little. Jareth frowned and caressed her cheek with his gloved thumb.
"You are pale, my love," he murmured, cocking his head. "Do you feel ill?"
Sarah was just about to answer when she lost control of her body. She landed on the floor in a faint, looking quite lovely despite the circumstance. Very dimly, she heard Jareth let out a startled noise, and a moment later felt him bite into her neck with great gusto.
Startled, her eyes shot open.
"Whatever are you doing?" Sarah gasped.
"Sucking out the poison," he explained, taking a breath before returning to his task.
Sarah felt rather alarmed, but content that she had stolen the show tonight, if not quite in the way she had planned.
The Aftermath
Sarah was fussed over by the guests and given a pillow on which to rest her head, as well as a glass of water to sip at her leisure.
After making sure she was out of danger, Jareth stood and took off both of his gloves. He picked up a butter knife from the nearest table and fashioned it into a sharp and dangerous weapon with a click of his fingers.
Nodding to himself, he walked over to the servant in the corner who had a tray of wine. The man seemed rather taken aback at the sight of Jareth.
"Forgive me for being so forward," The goblin king said politely. "But did you poison my wife?"
The man's expression turned to one of stark terror.
Jareth nodded, said, "That's what I thought.", and stabbed the knife through his adversary's neck.
Once the deed was done, he whipped the tablecloth off the nearest table and laid it over the body.
Satisfied, Jareth returned to his queen, who remarked that this had been a very exciting night indeed and embraced him affectionately.
A/N: It makes me feel very odd to label my own story as humorous. Who am I to decide if someone will find something I write amusing?