To Be a Mother
She cradled him in her arms, his rounded frame almost comically overpowering her petite one. The room was dark, except for the thin lights coming from surrounding wands. There were many people there, most of them students, simply watching the scene as it went on before them. The boy twitched a little, having stopped thrashing, saying things that she could not understand, but she still tried to hear every word that was being said.
"I…potion…cradle…mum…mum…"
"I'm here," she cooed, holding him closer. She turned to those that watched without moving, seeming entirely unnecessary in the situation. "There must be something we can do," she begged. One with grayed hair and ripped clothing approached her, and placed his hand on her shoulder.
"There is one thing, Alice…"
The man was well into his forties. The woman and her child were only seventeen.
The Griffindor common room was nearly empty, both because of low enrollment rates at Hogwarts that year and because most of the students had already gone to bed. There was a certain darkness in the room, nothing but candles providing any light. The girl simply walked through the portrait hole, as naturally as she had done for years before. Hermione was the first to notice, knowing that she was not a student she had seen before.
"Who is that?" she asked Ron, who was sitting beside her. He looked up from the paper he was writing on and glanced at the girl. She had light brown hair and a rounded face, though her body was fairly slim. He looked away quickly so that she would not see him.
"I haven't a clue…" he marveled. "She can't be a first year, can she?"
"Doesn't look like one," Hermione answered. At this point, Harry also looked up, only to see the girl's confused expression. She was looking the other way, at the group of three girls who were also in the room, studying their faces closely. She approached them, and motioned to Susan.
"Amelia…hi?" Harry read her lips.
"It's so strange…" Alice looked at Hermione, who was busily reading her Astronomy textbook. "Why wouldn't he want to stay at Hogwarts?" Hermione stopped reading and looked up.
"He's got a lot of things he needs to do," she explained, simply.
"But…what kinds of things? Can we help him?" Hermione looked at Alice, almost apologetically.
"It's his parents. He lost them…a long time ago. He wants to get revenge against the person who did it. Stop them from hurting other people. You know?"
"I guess," she shrugged, as Hermione returned to her reading. Alice smiled a little bit. "He's just so much like his dad."
The gargoyle allowed the four students into the room quickly, Harry always knowing what the password was. They were carried up the staircase with ease and walked swiftly into the Headmistress' office. Professor McGonagall nearly screamed when she left her bedroom and saw the girl, but held in her emotions so as not to frighten her. She turned to the trio, avoiding the new teenager's eye, and spoke to them:
"How long has she been here?"
"Only a few minutes," Hermione answered, trying to be as respectful as possible. "She doesn't quite know where she is." Alice nodded at Hermione's statement, and turned to McGonagall.
"Where is Dumbledore?"
"Dumbledore is dead, I'm afraid, Ms. Ashby."
"Oh. I'm sorry," Alice said, dumbstruck. The Headmistress sighed.
"As are all of us," she told the girl, trying to sound comforting. She looked at Ron and Harry. "Would you two mind taking Alice outside for a moment…I'd like to speak with Ms. Granger."
"Yes, ma'am," the two boys said in unison. Harry gently took Alice's elbow and led her out of the room.
"You have to stay, Harry," Neville pleaded with his friend, whose face was quite red.
"You don't understand!" Harry yelled, trying to not be unnecessarily loud. "I need to find him. They have all seven. It's time."
"Not quite! They still have to find out where he is-"
"That's what I want to do!" Now Harry was loud enough for the entire Common Room to hear him.
"Harry, you're not ready yet-" Neville tried to explain, his voice suddenly very soothing, but he was cut off.
"Hypocrite."
He recognized her the moment he saw her, her appearing just as he had seen her in the dreams he had dreamed after seeing pictures of her at that age. She looked upon him as a near stranger, but he couldn't help wonder if she did know him, or perhaps had the sense that made her know that he was her son. She did not speak, but watched his awestruck face.
"Neville," Hermione explained, giving him a look that told him to not act quite so surprised, "This is Alice Ashby. She'll be staying in my room for a while."
"Hi…" Neville mumbled, trying to seem a little more indifferent. "I'm Neville…" he did not know whether or not to say his last name.
"You're Frank's son, aren't you?" Alice asked, now seeming quite excited. Neville attempted a smile.
"Yeah…yeah, I am."
"You look like him," she told him. Now, Neville's smile became genuine.
"He's gone!" Ron screamed. "The idiot ran off!"
"Ron, relax, please…" Hermione pleaded, taking a count of who remained. They were back in the Department of Mysteries, particularly the circular room with the doors. Their faces were dim and shadowy, due to the lack of light in the room. At this point, four students were missing: Dean, Ginny, Harry and Neville. Alice approached Hermione.
"We have to find him, Hermione. We have to."
"We will…" Hermione wanted to promise this, but could not bring herself to actually saying the notion.
"What's he even doing?" Alice complained, looking fearful.
"He's getting revenge."
"For what?"
"So, what was he like?" Neville asked Alice, sitting on a couch in the Griffindor Common Room. She considered the question, and then shook her head roughly.
"Sorry…it's strange, talking about him like this."
"Yeah, I guess it would be," Neville said apologetically. "How old are you two, anyways?"
"We're both seventeen. Just like all of you."
Neville let out a short sound, showing that he had heard her. He smiled at Alice.
"So…what's the answer?"
"Well…" Alice continued to think. She came up with many things she could say about Frank: his loyalty, his courage, his hard work. However, in the end, there was only one thing she could think of to answer. "He's like you."
Harry had defeated Voldemort, and was lying down on a hospital bed in St. Mungo's. The patients there for mental reasons were running around wildly, fearful of what was happening around them. Most of the nurses were chasing them, and ignoring those who truly needed help.
"Oy, you lot!" Seamus yelled, holding up a wavering Dean. He used his free hand to point to a man who was approaching the group through the other escaped patients. Neville recognized him when he got close enough and ran through the hall towards the man, trying to keep him back. Alice followed him. The man took one look at Alice and reached his hand out towards her, cupping her cheek softly in his hand. Neville tried to remove it. Alice held up her own hand.
"No…it's alright. It feels…it doesn't feel wrong," she said, shrugging. "Hi, Frank," she added, looking him in the eye. She closed her eyes as he felt her face, seeming to understand who she was. However, instead of him realizing it, it was her who had finally decided that what she had recently suspected was true. "Neville," she whispered, her voice fleeting, "I'm your mother, aren't I?"
"Yes," Neville mumbled. "You are."
"Headmistress…how can we keep her here? You can't expect people - the teachers - not to recognize her."
"I'm sure that the Professors will take her presence quite naturally, so long as you don't tell anybody who she is."
"Why not?"
"If You-Know-Who was to find out about her, it could cause terrible things to happen. If he sent her back, perhaps, only to have things end up worse the next time. It would be terrible."
"What about Neville? How will we keep it secret from him?"
"Why must we? It is far more important, you should know, that she not find out who he is."
The Defense Against the Dark Arts class was empty, except for three people: a Professor, a Headmistress and a new student. There she was. It was strange, seeing her so young again, his most recent visit with her at St. Mungo's Hospital. She was beautiful either way, he knew. Alice did not recognize Remus, his grayed hair covering no more than the top lines on his forehead. As she approached him, though, she remembered his eyes, which were a gray-blue colour and always seemed much older than they should have been. After making it halfway through the classroom, she ran to him, flinging her arms around his neck.
"It's so good to find a friend here!" she proclaimed, releasing Remus, who could do nothing but stare at her. He had been warned by McGonagall that he was in for a surprise, but had no idea that it would be like this.
"Yes," he said, knowing he would have to continue keeping the secret of her life, "It must be, Alice."
It must be nice to see your best friend again.
The pain was terrible. It was like being on fire…you knew exactly what was happening to you, but had no way of escaping it. Neville was shaking so hard that he couldn't figure out which screams were his and which were those coming from the giant Pensieve that the others were staring at. The curtains had opened onto this object, which now contained Neville's memories. His mother and father were being tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange, the sounds coming from them seeming almost inhuman. Alice was held back by Harry, who had defeated Voldemort, but did not expect his minion, Bellatrix Lestrange, to be quite so powerful. She had a sneer on her face as she performed the deed, verbally applauding herself for what was happening in the typhoon of the Pensieve.
"NEVILLE!" Alice yelled to her son, tears streaming down her face. Everything seemed to take so long. Every yell, every twitch and every time Neville seemed to be defeating the pain. Every so often she would look at the Pensieve, the watery image of her elder self frightening her. Finally, the Order entered
"Where's Neville?" Harry looked around the bedroom, checking each bed visually. All of the Griffindor students within the room were accounted for except for the one he had mention.
"He's gone," Ron sat up, amazed. Harry let out a loud groan.
"Alright," he crawled out of bed, regaining his composure. "Let's go."
"Remus…" Alice moaned. "You have always been honest with me. Don't discontinue that just for my safety."
Remus Lupin gazed at the young girl. He didn't know how he was seeing her. Did he feel as if she was not seventeen, or as if he himself was a teenager again, and they were back at Hogwarts together? He knew exactly what had to happen in order for her son to be safe, and for him to not end up as she had so many years before.
"Remus, please," Alice continued begging. He pulled out his wand, not yet able to use it.
"You'll have to do it soon."
"I understand." Alice waited. "What is it, Remus?" His eyes and cheeks suddenly became very red.
"You'll have to give up your sanity." Alice instantly understood.
"Okay. What do I do?"
"You just say it. Will it."
"Can I have a minute, first?" Alice suddenly doubted herself.
"Yes." Hermione approached the two, looking worried.
"Professor Lupin…how is she going to do that? You can't just give your sanity to someone else, can you?"
"That's not what he means, really," Alice explained, still holding her son as tightly as she could. "I'll just go back. I'll forget everything. I won't prevent it from happening again."
"From what happening again?"
"Bellatrix, Hermione. I'll let it happen." Alice felt the new tears on her face. Hermione fell silent, and the rest of the group closed in around Alice and Neville, who was still saying nonsense words. "Neville…" Alice whispered, knowing that could be her last chance to speak to her child. "There are so many things I want to tell you…"
"Hurt…hurt…hurt…"
"You're so like your father. You're so brave…so caring. You're so truly, truly caring Neville. Your friends are wonderful…they're also caring. They love you, Neville, perhaps as much as I do. They're your family, Neville. Hermione, Ron, Harry, Seamus, Dean, Ginny, Luna…all of them. Let them be your family. They'll take care of you."
"Pain…rocking…mum…"
"You are so wonderful…it's strange, isn't it? I didn't know who you were, but somehow I realized it. Something inside me knew that you were my son, and that I loved you. I love you, Neville. I love you so much, and I'm so sorry that this has happened to us. Maybe…maybe someday we'll be together again. But…" she realized, "We are. That woman, in the hospital. She did not know you, but I could see it in her eyes: she loves you, Neville. She…I…I love you, and it doesn't matter if I remember you or not. I just know you. I promise that." Alice turned to Remus.
"Will you show him for me?" she asked, referring to the Pensieve.
"Of course."
"Okay." Alice nodded as she spoke, trying to convince herself that what she was about to do was the right thing. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it soon after. Instead, she turned to Remus.
"If you ever have a chance…to help us…to get us out…?"
"I'll try," Remus answered her solemnly. "If nothing else, I promise that I'll try." Alice nodded again and closed her eyes, opening them to look upwards at the sky.
"I wish to go back…to forget all that has happened as if it never did, and allow what happened to Frank and I to come to pass once again."
There was a great noise, shaking the entire room. Alice held onto her son tightly, wishing that perhaps he could feel her touch. She placed her head on his, feeling the closeness of their bodies next to each other. She prayed. She prayed that they could be together once again, and that she could give him the support she could never give him in her state. She prayed that he would be alright.
It was dark again. Few candles were lit, but the ones that were allowed for a boy to be seen reading a book about Wizarding plants. Footsteps came from the girl's staircase, and slowly made their way into the Common Room. Alice saw the back of Neville's head, and tip-toed over to him, looking over his shoulder to see the book he was holding.
"You like Herbology?" Alice asked Neville as he read. Neville looked up.
"It's my best subject," he answered her. Alice grinned.
"Mine too."
The End.
This is another one of my love children. It came to me while I was thinking about Neville, and what would happen if he was ever reunited with his mother. This was the best way I could think to tell the story, rather than making it chaptered. I just wanted to give Neville a mommy. Thanks for reading!