"So you're going to sit there and not talk to me, huh?"
Steve didn't bother looking up from the paperwork stacked in front of him.
"Wow! Not even a grunt of acknowledgement. Fine, I'll have to entertain myself then. Let's see. Oh, I know. I'll tell a story. There once was a man from Hawaii who thought he was invincible."
"I don't think I'm invincible," Steve mumbled.
"So you're talking to me now?"
Steve shrugged. "I figure if I ignore you, you'll go away."
"Right, like that ever works," Steve's visitor drawled, extending each word by a couple of syllables.
"Works with most people," Steve reasoned.
"Ah and there in lies the rub. I am not most people."
"So, how's single life treating you? Worked up the guts to get back out on the dating scene yet?"
"I'm not single," Steve protested.
"Really? That's not how it looks from this side."
"Go. Away. Now," Steve demanded.
"Nah. Don't think I will. I seem to have hit a sore spot, judging by your current demeanor."
The SEAL inhaled and exhaled slowly, deliberately relaxing the muscles in his shoulders and neck. He was not going to rise to the bait. He picked up his pen to go back to where he'd left off. Eventually his unwelcome intruder would leave.
"I see we're back to the ignoring. That how you deal with all your issues? Pretend they don't exist? That has got to be tiring if you ask me."
"No one is asking you," Steve growled. "Now go away."
"Again, don't think so. Oh and a suggestion. You should probably close the blinds soon or your team is going to think you've finally went around the bend."
Steve sighed and put down his pen so he could rub the bridge of his nose. He was obviously going to have to deal with his visitor if he wanted to get his work done. "Why are you hear?"
"I though that would've been transparent," his visitor responded looking truly offended.
"Apparently not or I wouldn't have asked," Steve said letting his irritation slide into his tone.
"Catherine."
"What about her?" Steve asked.
"I'm here to talk about Catherine."
"There isn't anything to discuss," Steve insisted.
"That's where you are wrong again. You know why she went after that boy don't you?"
Steve rolled his eyes at the stupid question he had no intention of answering, yet fro some reason he did. "She owed his family."
"That's part of it but there's more to it than that and you know it."
"The family saved her life," Steve stated. "She wants/needs to repay them."
"Agreed, but that debt is paid. She saved the other boys even if you did get captured. Hell, the two of you saved the father. Scoreboard even."
Steve paused, he hadn't looked at it that way. "She must not believe it is."
"She's looking at a different scoreboard now." When Steve didn't respond, his guest continued. "She's making amends. She feels she has to even if it means losing you."
"What in the world has Catherine done that she'd feel the need to make amends?" Steve questioned.
"She couldn't save me so she needs to save the boy."
Steve closed his eyes and shook his head. "You're wrong. She worked to bring Kono home," he countered as he opened his eyes. The rest of his words died in his mouth. His visitor was gone.
The head of Five-0 surveyed the quiet office. It was too early for the rest of the team to be in. He decided to surprise them so he got up to start the coffee. Once the often cantankerous machine started brewing, he returned to his office, closing the blinds before he sat down.
Getting ready to scrawl his signature on yet another case file, he nearly came out of his skin when a voice said, "Now that's a sight I thought I'd never see. Smooth Dog being bogged down by paperwork."
Figuring it would make things a whole lot easier and faster if he cooperated this time, Steve finished his scribble, capped his pen and leaned back in his chair to give his new visitor his full attention. "What can I do for you?"
"Can't a guy drop in on his buddy just to say 'Hi'?"
Steve shrugged. He'd been doing an awful lot of that today. "Under normal circumstances I'd say sure, but we both know that these are not normal circumstances."
"That's sure true. Hey, you got any lotion in that desk of yours? This new ink really itches."
Shaking his head, Steve rummaged through the drawers until he latched onto a bottle. Pulling it out, he put it down on the edge of the desk. "You can use this. It's Kono's but she won't care."
"Thanks, man. You're always there for a guy."
"I wasn't there for you," Steve whispered.
His guest looked aghast. "What the hell! Of course you were."
"If I had been, we'd have both made it home," Steve argued.
"But we did, buddy. It's because of you I'm home. You risked your ass to make sure I made it home. A guy couldn't ask for a better friend, a better brother."
"But Kelly and your little girl," Steve protested.
"They have closure and I get to watch over my baby. You're the one that made that possible."
Steve couldn't stop the tears forming in his eyes. "If I hadn't chosen you for the mission in the first place, they wouldn't have needed closure."
"Wow! You're a real egotistical son of a bitch you know that? What happened to me, to us, was because we were doing our jobs. The jobs we swore an oath for."
"But if I hadn't picked you…."
"Then it would have been someone you didn't trust and you both would've stayed in North Korea. You didn't fire those bullets."
"I…" Steve started but the ring of h is desk phone cut him off. The single ring gave his friend enough time to leave without Steve noticing.
This was ridiculous. Steve stood up and stretched. Maybe a trip to the restroom to relieve himself of the three cups of tea he'd guzzled this morning would help. At least the movement would be different. Steve took care of business, washed his hands and splashed some water on his face. He briefly thought about dunking his head under the facet until he remembered he didn't have any spare shirts left at work. He stopped by the break room to fill his mug again. He should have lingered longer.
His new visitor was lounging on his couch wearing a smug smile. "What the hell do you want?" Steve shouted from the doorway.
"Can't let the others have all the fun now can I," the smug bastard said.
"I don't have anything to say to you," Steve declared.
"Ah, now. Don't that hurt my feelins' and after all I've done for you."
"All you've done for me," Steve screeched.
"I saved your life."
"You saved my life? Is that really how you see it?" Steve questioned as he finally moved fully into the room.
"Shanking you gave you the best chance of survival."
"So what now? I'm supposed to consider you my friend?" Steve asked in disbelief.
"That might be takin' it a wee bit too far. After all, you have to know that your father was a dead man long before you picked up my call."
Steve saw red, then he blinked to clear the haze of rage. His office was empty again. He sank into his chair. This must be how it felt to go crazy. He scrubbed his eye sockets with the heals of his hands. His head was pounding in time with his heart and his whole body ached.
"You're not going crazy, son."
"If you're here to tell me that it's not my fault, your predecessor already did."
"Well, that's good but it's not why I'm here."
Steve lowered his hands from his face. "Okay, I'll bite."
"I always knew you'd make something of yourself. You've got some impressive commendations here."
"Just doing my job," Steve said shyly as he was gifted with the brightest smile he'd ever seen.
"I've said this before but it's worth repeating, I'm proud of the man you've become. Despite all you've been through, you're a strong, considerate, caring man. No one could ask for a better son."
Steve blushed. "That means a lot but I'm not as strong as you think."
"You must be referring to the PTSD. If you handle it correctly, you'll be even stronger. If I know you, you'll handle it just fine. You've made a good start already. You've surrounded yourself with good people, real ohana and you've opened up some. I have faith you'll stay on the right track."
"I lost one of my ohana," Steve whispered.
"I know. I like Catherine. I think she's good for you."
"I don't think she's coming back."
"I know, son."
Steve startled at that. "How did you go on after?"
"I loved your mother very much but that didn't mean I was blind. I knew from the begging I wouldn't have her forever. Didn't think she'd fake her own death mind you but she had her secrets and I knew eventually they would take her away from me."
"So you're saying you were prepared then," Steve scoffed.
"Not prepared, resigned. Your mother's death almost killed me."
"Why did Mary and I have to go away?" Steve asked in an almost childlike tone.
"That was the hardest decision I ever had to make. My need for vengeance consumed me to the point where I couldn't take care of you or your sister. Hell, I could barely take care of myself."
"We could have made it work."
"Not and have you kids safe. Your mother's past, my investigation, both put targets on your backs. I couldn't let anything happen to you. I would've truly died."
"Are you mad at Doris?"
"I'm mad for you and Mary."
"But not yourself?" Steve questioned.
"As I said, I knew it wouldn't last. Your mother thought she had me fooled with her lies and I loved her enough to let her believe it."
"How do I go on?"
"One step at a time, son. Don't be afraid or too proud to lean on your ohana. What's that saying? 'No man is an island.' I will always be proud of you son."
Danny frowned in surprise to find the lights on in his partner's office. His frown deepened as he looked around. The blinds were a closed, a real rarity. There was half a mug of cold tea (heavily laced with whiskey if his sense of smell was to be trusted) balanced precariously on the edge of the blotter. A bottle of Kono's lotion lay on its side next to an opened bottle of NyQuil . A shivering SEAL was curled up looking feverish and miserable on the couch, which was too small to accommodate its resident.
"Hey, babe," Danny whispered. When Steve opened one bleary eye, he continued, "How bout we get you home? You'll be more comfortable don't you think?"
Steve slowly raised himself up. "I think you might be right."
As Danny helped him stand and move towards the door, he said, "Hey, D., promise me you'll remind me to never drink alcohol while I'm sick."
"Especially when you mix it with cold medicine," Danny agreed.
"I didn't. Was gonna take that first but the smell made me nauseous so I went for the whiskey instead," Steve said, impressed with himself that he managed to get all that out.
"Well, it's reassuring to know that even sick you can use common sense," Danny declared, guiding his friend to the main doors.
"Not so sure bout that. Whiskey gave me weird dreams," Steve muttered.
Danny laughed. "Let's get you home."