Hey! It's me. Yeah, I know. Why am I doing a one shot, blah blah blah. But my dad told me this story. I Googled it, and I had the perfect thought. So, Friday April 4 (in England) a theater flooded before showing Noah for the first time. Yeah, ironic. Poetic justice, if you hate the movie. Get where I'm going with this? :) Plus, I needed an excuse to bring our beloved archangel/Trickster back. Oh, and the SPN timeline is a bit off, because Kevin is in this.
WARNING: There will be Noah movie bashing. I wrote this for humor and entertainment. I have not seen the movie, nor do I want to see it. I love Emma Watson and Logan Lerman, however, and I have never seen Russell Crowe that I can recall. Long story short, I mean no offense toward anyone involved in the movie making process.
Normal disclaimer...
Gabriel threw his popcorn bucket in the trash and snapped himself out of the darkened theater. He couldn't deal with it anymore. Normally he enjoyed movies like this, if only to see how reality differed from fiction. But Noah was just way out of line.
First of all, the Transformers—Watchers, whatever—didn't exist. Sure, fallen angels and nephilim did, but as rock creatures? Please. And Noah didn't even have granddaughters on the ark. He sure as Father wouldn't try to kill them. Speaking of Father, He told Noah specifically that animals and humans would survive.
Gabriel shook his head. The little waste of lifetime was over. He tilted his head to the side, wondering how to save other people from the miserable excuse for fiction. A wicked grin crossed his face, and he snapped his fingers. He left Phoenix, Arizona and landed a handful of milliseconds later in Exeter, a nice little place in England.
It didn't take long to find the Vue cinema. He popped by the theater every day until he heard that they were showing Noah the following Friday, and then he made his move.
It was six in the morning on April 4. Gabriel waited until everyone had left, then he flew himself into the lobby. He snapped his fingers, conjured up some Skittles, and sat back to watch the fireworks.
An hour later the shift manager came in and gaped at Gabriel's handiwork. He silently chuckled. The manager cursed and immediately whipped out her cell phone, dialing her boss.
"We have a problem. The lobby's flooded."
"What?" somebody shrieked on the other end. "How bad?"
"I don't know; I just got here." The manager headed into the theater, the soaking wet carpet squelching as she walked.
"All right, I'll call someone. If necessary, we'll keep people out of the cinema until this is fixed. See how far the water got."
Gabriel sat back, chuckling to himself. He had flooded the entire theater, no room left untouched. He hoped that would deter some people from sticking around to see the movie.
The engineers didn't comment on how the rooms where Noah would be shown were the most affected rooms in the whole building.
A few days later, Sam Winchester was in the Men of Letters bunker browsing the Internet when he ran across an interesting article.
Showing of 'Noah' Cancelled After Theater Flooding
Sam chuckled to himself at the irony, scanning the screen. Kevin Tran came in with a cup of coffee, hair tousled from sleep.
"Hey," Sam said, looking up briefly.
"Hey, Sam. What are you reading?"
"You know the movie 'Noah'?" Sam asked. Kevin nodded. "Well, a theater in England got flooded the night before they were due to show it."
Kevin snorted. "Talk about irony."
Dean Winchester came in and leaned over his brother's shoulder, reading the article. "Poetic," the elder brother said dryly.
Sam blinked. Poetic that a movie theater showing a film based on the biblical flood got flooded before showing said movie? "Hey, what do you think an angel would do if they saw this movie?"
Dean shrugged. "Depending on how bad it is, they might flood the place out of spite." He blinked, going over what he just said. His brain seemed to be on the same track as Sam's.
"No."
"No way," Sam agreed. He was dead. They saw his body. Hell, they burned his body.
The Trickster has tricked us, Kali had said in the hotel. Sam remembered thinking how it hadn't been the first time.
Kevin looked between the two of them, annoyance clear on his face. "What?"
"We once knew a guy who gave people just desserts, dealt out poetic justice all the time," Sam told him vaguely.
"Could this be him?" Kevin pointed at the laptop.
Dean automatically shook his head in denial. "Can't be. He's dead."
"Maybe not," Sam objected softly, frowning. "He's faked his death before."
"We burned his body, Sam. How much more proof do you want?"
Someone knocked on the bunker door. Three heads spun unerringly toward it like hunting dogs. Sam and Dean glanced at each other. Dean reached for the Knife on the table and crept up the stairs. He swung the door open wide enough to see who was on the other side, but still blocked Sam and Kevin's view.
"What the hell?" Dean cried.
"Hey, Dean! You gonna let me in or what?" a very familiar voice echoed down to them. Sam was out of his seat in a blink, nearly trampling the figure who popped into existence at the bottom of the stairs.
"Gabriel?"
Gabriel smirked his trademark smirk. "Hi, Sam!" He looked around Sam. "And that must be Kevin Tran. I've heard a lot about you."
Kevin looked between Gabriel and the Winchesters, stunned. "The Gabriel? Gabriel the Messenger, an archangel?"
Gabriel whistled. "You're smart. It took these two chuckleheads ages to figure it out."
"Well, excuse us for not expecting a demigod to be an archangel!" Dean ranted, slamming the door and coming down the stairs.
"How are you alive? Lucifer killed you." Sam could have smacked himself for stating the obvious.
Gabriel smirked. "Hello," he drawled, raising his hand to point at his face. Sam was instantly thrown back to TV Land. "Trickster!"
Yes, I ended on one of my favorite Gabriel lines. I couldn't help it. Well, I could, but I didn't want to.
Thoughts? Please, no flames for bashing on the movie. There was a giant warning at the top for this very reason.