Hey guys! Nightsailer, back with another story! ^.~ This one's not serious like my other ones…I thought I might try comedy for a while. And what better series for comedy than Rumiko Takahashi's wacky romance, Ranma ½?! Read to find out how this cooky crew reacts to one of America's greatest traditions…THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE!!! R&R, please!!! It's greatly appreciated!
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"Sadie Hawkins Dance? What's that?" Akane and her friends were walking home from school. The whole high-school was in an uproar--A custion from America was being introduced in Japan!
"I'ts a dance, just like always. But there's one major difference," said her friend Kyoko, "the girls get to ask the guys this time!"
Akane's other friend, Shizuka, was ecstatic. "Ooh, Akane! Who should I ask, who should I ask?!"
"How about Gosukunji?" Kyoko said jokingly.
Shizuka made a face. "Heck, no! Voodoo Spike? He's the biggest loser in the school!"
"And he has a crush on Akane." Kyoko patted Akane's shoulder. "Poor dear. Are you going to ask Ranma?"
Akane blushed. "Uh...Ranma doesn't really do that kind of stuff...OW!" A paper ball hit her in the back of the head. She whirled around to find Ranma sitting on the fence behind her.
"Hiya, macho chick! Thinkin' about askin' me to the Stadium Eagle dance? After all, I'm the hottest guy around!"
Akane clenched her fists. She ran and kicked him into the pond the fence enclosed. "Dummy! Why would I ask a GIRL to the dance?!"
He came up hacking water. "At least I'm not built like a brick and I actually have a FIGURE! Besides, why would I want to go with YOU?!"
"DUMMY!! JERK!!" She chucked a rather large mailbox onto his head. As he shook his fist and gave her a very inappropriate gesture, she yelled, "And that's SADIE HAWKINS Dance, idiot!" Then she took off for home, leaving Ranma to dry out his shirt and two friends to wonder wht the heck just happened.
After cutting a corner and losing sight of Ranma, Akane slowed to a stop. Idiot Ranma, She thought. Doesn't have any grasp of what's important... She kicked a stray tin can down the street. "But who will I ask?" She said out loud.
Big mistake.
"AKANE TENDO!" Tatewaki Kuno came hurdling down the street, arms outstretched and a bouquet of flowers flowing from one hand. "Ask me to the Sadie Hawkins Dance!"
Akane stood staring with her mouth hanging wide open. "U...Upperclassman Kuno..."
He swept her up into a giant bear hug. "Hurry! Before Saotome comes to separate us!"
Just then, Ranma came traipsing around the corner, shoes swinging from his fingertips. "Akane, where are you? Akan--"
"PIG-TAILED GIRL!" Kuno dropped Akane and ran at Ranma. "Oh how I've pined to see--"
Ranma kicked his face, sending him flying over the nearest apartment building. "Can it, lover boy. I have no interest in being a homo." He walked over to Akane. "Why'd ya run off like that, Macho Chick?"
"Whydaya THINK, bozo?" Akane dusted herself off and threw the flowers into a garbage can. "Anyone would run away from an ugly mug like yours."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Akane turned on her heel and continued walking down the street. Ranma poked his head around to look her in the face. "Somethin' botherin' you?"
"Nahhhhh...Well, except maybe...JUST maybe...YOU?!" She booted him as far as she could; which ended up being a building three blocks away.
"I still don't think she's cute," Ranma mused, as he peeled himself off the glass. He turned around and laughed. "Good thing that was reinforced..." He waved merrily at the staring businesspeople and went whistling on his way.
Meanwhile, Ryoga stood behind a waterfountain, carefully rearranging his flowers once again. "Have to have them PERFECT for Akane before I ask her..."
"Ask me what?"
"WAIIII!!" Ryoga jumped back and gripped the waterfountain for all he was worth -- his monstrous strength causing it to snap in half, and water going everywhere.
Akane stared at the mangled mess of marble and water. "Um, Ryoga? Are you ok?" She tenatively nudged one of the bigger slabs away with her foot.
P-chan squirmed his way out of the rubble. "P-CHAN!" Akane scooped the little pig up and hugged him tight. "Have you seen Ryoga? Poor dear...I startled him, and he must've run off..."
P-chan snuggled up against Akane with an amazingly human-like sigh.
"C'mon, let's go home. Don't worry. If that jerk Ranma picks on you, he'll have me to answer to!"
A few minutes later, Akane walked into the main room of the Tendo Dojo. "I'm home!" She kicked off her shoes and trotted into the kitchen. There, her "family" was conjugated, waiting for the final meal of the day.
"Hey Akane," Nabiki called, "do you have a spare 3000 yen? I wanted to buy myself- I mean, YOU a new sweater."
"Thanks, Nabiki, but you bought "me" one last week," Akane said dryly. "Hey Kasumi, what's for dinner?"
"Oh, I didn't feel like cooking tonight, so I ordered take-out!"
Akane's eyes were suddenly wary. "Take out...From WHERE?"
"FOOD HERE!" Shampoo came blasting through the door. "Where Ranma?"
"Can't she ever just come in like a normal person?" Akane muttered.
"Shampoo! Welcome! Won't you stay for dinner?" Kasumi rushed over to help Shampoo with the boxes. "Shampoo stay," she grunted. "Where Ranma?"
"Impatient, are we?" Kasumi smiled. "He's in the bath. But he should be out any time now!"
P-chan came waddling through from outside. He stopped and looked at Akane, then walked through the house into the bath.
Inside, Ranma was soaking in the tub, muttering to himself. "Had to order take-out, tonight of all nights. Why couldn't they have waited until I was on a training mission or something? And they shouldn't even ASK her if she wants to stay for dinner. Heck, the girl PACKS herself a meal whenever she comes over here..." Just then, P-chan jumped into the bath, and out sprung Ryoga.
"Hey! Hey! Ever heard of common decency here?!" Ranma gooshed the fanged boy's head. "I mean, c'mon!"
"If you can do it with Shampoo, I don't see why you would mind another male hopping in for a few seconds," said Ryoga, unfazed. "Unless it TRULY bothers you because you are immensly turned on by a fellow unclothed male..."
"Oh shut it. You know as well as the next person I'm as straight as they come."
"Anybody in the Yahoo personals, that is."
"Take that back!"
Ryoga was already tugging on his clothes. "Don't get your underwear in a knot. I was only joking. I know your feelings for sweet Shampoo..."
"I DO NOT HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR SHAMPOO!"
"Prove it then." Fully dressed, Ryoga strutted down the hall.
"I'LL SHOW YOU, YA FILTHY LITTLE PIG!" Ranma fell out of the bath and stumbled down the hall, only to find himself in the middle of a now very quiet kitchen -- and to realize that he had forgotten to grab a towel on the way out.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"
"So what did you come here for, P-chan?" Ranma asked, as Shampoo was putting bandages all over his upper body. He, Shampoo, and Ryoga were all sitting in the middle of the training hall. Poor Ranma was being bandaged from the barrage of various flying objects a few moments before.
"I'm not P-chan!"
"Just answer the question, dimwit."
"Well, I came to ask Akane to the Sadie Hawkins Dance." Ryoga looked down at his feet, face going pink.
"Ha! THAT macho chick? You'd have a better chance of getting a date with a brick. Not like there's any difference, though."
"Akane is NOT a brick! And you call yourself her fiancee!" A dreamy look crossed his face. "Perfect Akane...So befallen with her misfortune..."
"I don't call her my fiancee, lover boy. It's just the rest of the WORLD insists. Don't even THINK about asking her."
"And why not? I thought you didn't care if she went with me."
Ranma was starting to go rather red himself. "I DON'T care! It's just that not even a dummy like her deserves to go to a dance with YOU. You'd probably get lost on the way to the place, anyway."
"I'd bring a map!"
"A MAP?! Hell, man, you'd need a LIFELINE tied from this house to the school!"
"Just you wait and see, Ranma!" Ryoga stood up and abruptly walked out of the room. Ranma made a face at his retreating form. A slight poke on the shoulder made him turn, just to find Shampoo's face right up in his. "GAACK!"
"Ranma? What Sadie Hawkin Dance?"