LOVELESS Ritsuka x Soubi! Slash! Fweeeeeeeeee! Written by me, Fish Stick! Sorry that I turned it into a oneshot... read the note at the end, please.
Note: This is written as if it is a sort of epilogue for the anime. But I do read the manga, and it rocks, so feel free to rant to me about it all you want!
Disclaimer: Loveless is owned by Yun Kouga. I do not pwn (er, own) Loveless, because if I did, I would probably mess it up. Badly.
SHOUNEN-AI WARNING - Don't like it? Don't read it. 'Cause the rest of us think it's cute.
-- Thankies go to my friend Kairi for the fantabulous banner! I'd put it up, but I can't seem to add it... T-T Help me, anyone? -
-- Also, reviews are much loved! I swear, every review or comment I get, I burst out of my desk chair and dance around the room for a few minutes. --
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"Achoo!"
Ritsuka sneezed into his sleeve. Damn it, I really am getting sick. He thought glumly. Despite his worrisome thoughts, though, he kept surfing through the happy pictures from today. He and Soubi had made more memories today in the park, and Ritsuka had taught Soubi how to use his camera so he could snap a shot of Ritsuka finding a little orange kitten.
He felt another sneeze coming and barely stifled it. He had a bit of a headache, too… He thought about Soubi as he printed out the pictures.
"You like that kitten, don't you?" Soubi had asked, smiling.
"Mom would never let me keep it." Ritsuka had blushed at Soubi's perception.
"I could keep it for you."
"Don't." Ritsuka had snapped.
I did like the kitten, though… He thought wistfully. Did 'Ritsuka' like kittens?
His headache finally got the best of him and he went to lie down in bed. The soft warmth enveloping him felt so nice that he would have fallen asleep in seconds had Soubi not come in at that moment.
"Good evening." Soubi greeted his master with a smile on his face.
"Soubi… I was about to fall asleep." Ritsuka murmured, irritated and sleepy. "What do you want this late at night?"
Soubi only kept smiling. "I wanted to see you, Ritsuka."
Ritsuka sighed and got up. He picked up and envelope and stuffed the photos into it, then handed it to Soubi. "The photos." He stated, trudging back to the bed. "Now I'm going to sleep."
Ritsuka felt Soubi watching him as he crawled back into his soft, warm bed. His eyes closed gently and he drifted off to sleep, but not before he heard Soubi's voice...
"Good night, Ritsuka."
Soubi watched as Ritsuka fell asleep. Ritsuka looked so adorable when he was asleep – so peaceful. Soubi walked over and knelt down at the side of the bed. "Ritsuka…" He whispered. One hand reached up and touched Ritsuka's ear. The ear twitched. "You're so cute." He smiled. His hand slipped to Ritsuka's forehead and his smile faded. "Ritsuka, you're getting sick." Soubi scolded quietly. "I'll stay with you."
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Ritsuka woke to the sound of chirping birds, like any other morning. Strangely, however, he just wanted to go right back to sleep. "Five more minutes…" He grumbled.
"Good morning." Soubi smiled.
Ritsuka jumped, blushing. "What? Soubi?! Were you sitting there all night?" He stammered.
Soubi kept leaning against the wall. "Yup. I slept well."
"Why? I thought you were going to go home!"
"Ritsuka, you're sick. You need rest."
Ritsuka remembered his headache and sneezing. "Sick? Who's sick? I'm not sick!" He pouted.
"You are. I brought you some medicine." Soubi held up a packet.
The boy continued to pout, but he was thankful that Soubi was there. If his mother knew he was sick, who knows what she would do? He wouldn't be able to defend himself…
"Alright, you can stay… just… don't leave me alone here."
Soubi smiled, knowing that was one promise he would enjoy keeping. "Yes, master."
Ritsuka finally settled down enough to take the medicine, and soon after he managed to fall asleep again. As soon as his breathing went steady, Soubi felt himself struggling to stay awake as well… he hadn't slept most of last night, watching over Ritsuka. He's just so cute when he sleeps… The man finally acquiesced and fell into the land of dreams.
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Ritsuka woke a couple of hours later from a dream he couldn't quite remember. He tried to grasp it, to keep it for himself, but all he could keep were fragments. Muttering softly to himself, he slipped quietly out of bed.
Ritsuka tiptoed quietly over to his desk, not wanting to awaken Soubi. He picked up a pencil and groggily scribbled out a note to his fighter:
I'm going downstairs. I'll be back in a while, so don't worry about me. And don't go downstairs, no matter what.
--Ritsuka
p.s. That is an order.
He picked it up and turned towards Soubi. It was a relief that he hadn't woken up. A small smile had crept up onto Soubi's face – not the fake, secretive smile he wore during the day, but a sincere one. It made him look so much more... innocent.
Ritsuka smiled at this. He loved seeing Soubi's real side. He tiptoed over and just watched for a minute, the note in his hand forgotten. I don't want to be Loveless, He thought wistfully. I want to be Beloved so I can stay with Soubi…
Deep down, though, the boy knew that eventually they would have to part ways. Soon enough, the real fighter for the Loveless unit would emerge, separating the boy from his protector. Ritsuka dreaded that day – and, secretly, so did Soubi.
He suddenly remembered what he had to do. Once again, he would go down to his mother, and she would beat him and scream at him for not being the Ritsuka she loved. He wanted to leave home, he really did. But every time he went to pack his bags, he was held back. How could he leave her when she was so sad?
He left the note where Soubi would see it – on his bed – and trudged downstairs. What happened next was inevitable.
"Ritsuka! You're down for breakfast! I made all your favorite things, Ritsuka!" His mother smiled at him. A fake smile.
"Okay." He replied nonchalantly. He still felt sick.
The boy sat down at the table with his growing headache and began his test.
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Soubi awoke a lot later than he normally would. "Good morning, Ritsuka." He mumbled. Then, he finally realized that the boy wasn't there. He sat up and looked around for any clue of where he might have gone. That was when he noticed the note. Curious, he picked it up and read.
He wasn't at all surprised that his charge had ordered him to stay upstairs. (What would his mother think?) It was the way he had written it that hinted at something. But what could it be? Was he afraid? Devious? Or was he just shy? Soubi smiled. That would be typical of cute little Ritsuka. Nevertheless, he waited in faith, unaware of the trial Ritsuka was facing downstairs.
A minute passed, and Agatsuma Soubi began to get curious. He had never really had the chance to just gaze around Ritsuka's room. The walls were surprisingly bare, save for a giant billboard pinned from top to bottom with photos. Then, of course, there was the desk with the computer, his bed, two doors (one to the bathroom and one to the rest of the house), and his backpack, which lay against the same wall Soubi did.
Soubi got up to look at the photos. He ran a finger down the side of the billboard. There were some photos of Ritsuka and his classmates, some with Ritsuka and a short-haired woman in medical clothing, some old ones with Ritsuka and Seimei, and some with Ritsuka and himself. In fact, most of them were with the pair of fighter and sacrifice. Soubi loved those photos the most – They both did, and he knew it. If names were destiny, he mused, then how come Ritsuka was named Loveless, when the two were so clearly in love? Maybe he just can't see it. Soubi mused, smiling. That's cute.
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Breakfast passed almost peacefully for Ritsuka, which was a huge relief for him. He sighed and climbed the staircase to his room. Now all I have to do is survive until lunch. Or maybe, I could go out so that I don't have to be with mom at lunch. Yeah, that'll work… He stepped into his room and closed the door behind him.
"Good morning, Ritsuka." The blond greeted him.
"Hey, Soubi." He returned the greeting. It felt weird, meeting on a weekend like this. "How long are you going to stay here?"
"Until you get better." Soubi stated, smiling as usual.
Ritsuka knew it would be useless to even try to convince him to go back to his apartment. And, to be honest, he had no idea what to do on weekends. He couldn't just stay here with Soubi…could he? Of course not. He told himself. First, find a reason to go out.
"Soubi…" He started.
"Yes?"
Ritsuka struggled, but could find no good reason to go out. "…Never mind." Ritsuka glared at his toes in angst. He realized that he wouldn't be able to get out of the house with Soubi there. There was only one thing to do – he had to stay. Again, with a sense of impending doom, he tried in vain to think of a way out. Needless to say, it didn't make his sneezing nor his headache easier to deal with.
Soubi seemed worried. "Ritsuka, are you sure you're well enough to be up and about?"
"I told you, I'm not sick!" Ritsuka snapped. He had the same weird feeling he got whenever Soubi told him he loved him. It just made him feel worse.
Soubi wasn't convinced, but he had no reason to anger Ritsuka this early in the day. "Alright."
Please, feel better soon.
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Meanwhile, back at Soubi's apartment, chaos raged in the form of Kio Kaidou.
"Where the hell is he?!" Kio paced. "If he keeps leaving his assignments to the last minute like this, he's going to drop out! And then I'll drop out too because I'll be worried about him and- ARGH!" He snarled and ran his fingers through his blond hair.
"Kio…" Youji trailed off. "You're talking to yourself again."
Natsuo smiled, just as amused as his green-haired Zero sacrifice.
"I don't care if I'm talking to myself! Soubi needs to get his act together! He left yesterday night and isn't back yet! If he's done something to the little virgin kid Ritsuka, I'll call him a pervert for the rest of his life, no matter how much he denies it!" Kio seemed ready to rip out his hair.
Smiling, Natsuo handed him a piece of paper instead.
Kio ripped it up into little tiny bits. But his anger did not subside, and he continued pacing the room, much to the amusement of the two Zero boys. Youji glanced at the curly redhead beside him. "He's so weird." Youji giggled.
Natsuo grinned and nodded in agreement. "Yeah." He said. "But not as weird as Loveless and Soubi."
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Back at Ritsuka's house, Soubi was still worried, and Ritsuka was still in conflict with himself. He had decided to study to pass the time before lunch, and to get his mind off his mother and the fact that Soubi wouldn't go back to his apartment. Instead, he sat there watching Ritsuka oh so closely…
Occasionally, Soubi would go out onto Ritsuka's little balcony to smoke a cigarette, and to give Ritsuka a minute by himself. He knew it made Ritsuka uneasy to have him there, though in a strangely pleasant way. And besides, he needed to think. He wished he'd brought his paints, so he could paint Ritsuka's sleeping face. His cute expression, his dainty ears, so small and innocent. Soubi closed his eyes and, when he was sure Ritsuka wasn't looking, gave a small, sincere smile of love.
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Ritsuka struggled with himself over what to do with Soubi. He wanted him to leave, yet he was worried that if Soubi left, he would be left alone, and he would fall victim to his mother. Yet if Soubi stayed, he wasn't sure just what would happen. Would his mother come up and find Soubi? Would Soubi find out about his mother? He didn't want that to happen. Soubi worried so much about him already, and if he found out that his mother beat him like this…
And then, there was the fact that he and Soubi were alone… in his room…. He blushed. Don't think about that! He scolded himself. Instead he focused on the math page in front of him – it wasn't going to be easy to concentrate once Soubi came back….
Ritsuka finished his homework for all of his subjects that day. He closed the last book and sighed. What am I going to do now? He thought. Then he sneezed again.
"Ritsuka!" His mother's voice echoed up from downstairs. "Lunch in ten minutes!"
He noted the false cheer in her voice and called back, "Okay!"
Suddenly, he had an idea. He didn't need to get out of the house. At the very least, he could get Soubi out of the house, just in case anything happened.
"Soubi?" He risked a glance.
"Yes?" Soubi gave a half-sincere smile.
"I was thinking… if you're going to stay until I get better, you should go to your apartment and get anything you need while I'm having lunch. Okay?" He asked. It felt uncertain, giving such a sudden order, but…
Soubi wasn't convinced. "Are you sure?" He questioned.
"Yes." Ritsuka said, stepping out of his room. He gave himself a half-smile. For once, he had won. Well, now all he had to do was get by his mother.
Soubi was perplexed. Ritsuka was acting more mysterious than ever, and he couldn't figure out what was wrong. Usually, his ears betrayed his stubborn face and made his emotions easy to read. But now…
Soubi sighed and jumped down from the balcony. After all, it was a great opportunity to get his paints…
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Ritsuka sat down at the table as his mother came in. "Ritsuka! I didn't think you'd be down so quickly!" She exclaimed in pleasant surprise.
His heart wrenched in his chest. If she loved him so much, why, oh, why was his mother setting these traps for him, trying to find the son she thought she knew so well? Why was she so insistent that he was not the real Ritsuka? He felt sick at a whole new level. But this was typical behavior, and it shouldn't have surprised him.
"Hello." He said, emotionless as ever.
It didn't seem to affect her. "Here." She placed a tray in front of him. On the tray was a plate filled with all different foods. Ritsuka's stomach grumbled. He looked up at her; her motherly smile had faded startlingly. "Go ahead, have some." She said.
He picked up his chopsticks and hesitatingly took a piece of fried Shitake mushroom. 'Clear, because it's fried,' He thought, 'but they're so gross… better get it over with.'
Soon he had worked through most of the food on the plate, leaving the ones that 'Ritsuka' didn't like. The medicine was wearing off, and his headache was getting worse. It was all he could do to keep sorting through the food his mother had brought. He felt his mind slip for a moment-
Crash. His mother stood in front of a cracked plate on the floor. She met his surprised eyes with wild ones. "I knew it. Just now, I saw you. Ritsuka doesn't like carrots or beets." She was crying hysterically. "You're not Ritsuka!" She screamed. "You're a fake! Why do you look so much like him? You make me sick!" She picked up a piece of the broken glass and hurled it at him. It hit him in the arm and he cried out in pain. In a few moments it had fallen to the ground and shattered into even more pieces. She kept screaming at him, but he didn't hear any of it. His mind was foggy; he couldn't seem to grasp anything. Why, mother...?
A sharp pain in his leg brought him back to reality. A piece of glass had been thrown at his leg. All he knew was that he needed to get upstairs to his room. He needed to get away.
Ritsuka ran up to his room and slammed the door behind him. He leaned back against the door behind him, breathing heavily. He knew that he needed to clean his new wounds, but he needed to catch his breath first. Why? Why do you hate me? I may not be the Ritsuka you loved, but I'm still... A tear slid down his cheek, then another. Then he fell down onto the floor and cried himself to sleep.
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"Where were you?!" Kio exploded.
"With Ritsuka." Soubi answered simply. He looked around his apartment, looking for his paints and materials.
"Oh my god, I knew it! Sou-chan, you pervert! You took Ritsuka's ears, didn't you?! Oh my god!" He screeched.
"Shhhh, Kio. You'll wake up Youji and Natsuo." Soubi stated. He took some food from the fridge and stuffed it into his bag.
"But you did it, didn't you?!" He squealed. "I knew you were a pervert, but-!"
Soubi frowned, gathering his paints. "Kio, I'm not a pervert. Ritsuka is sick, and I'm looking after him." He finished gathering the last of his paints, and then his toothbrush. "I'll be going back now."
"Oh... but... what about your assignment?" Kio crossed his arms.
Soubi remembered that he needed to have a painting in by Monday. "I'll paint something at Ritsuka's house."
Kio didn't seem appeased. "Why do you do this to me, Soubi?!" He was obviously worried.
"Don't worry, Kio. I'll be back when Ritsuka gets better. I'll see you." Soubi smiled and walked out the door.
Kio's heart sank. "Just when will that be? Soubi? Hey! Come back here, you pervert!"
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For Soubi, the walks to and from Ritsuka's house were filled with memories. When he saw the park, he remembered the day they had first met, and their first kiss. The school reminded him of Ritsuka's friends, Yayoi and Yuiko, who helped so much in restoring Ritsuka's self-confdence. And the whole area just reminded him of Ritsuka and their memories together, from the coded rendezvous note to their first real battle as fighter and sacrifice. And, although it was a silly notion to him, he just liked to feel himself getting closer to Ritsuka, who was waiting for him to come in the window like it was the front door.
When he finally got there, he came back up onto the balcony and opened the window. "Good afternoon, Ri-"
His mouth hung open for a second. There was Ritsuka on the floor, with blood all over his arm and leg!
Quickly, he dropped his bag next to the window and knelt down beside his charge. There were fairly deep wounds in his left forearm and below the knee on his left leg. He saw the door to the bathroom and stepped in. Seeing what looked like a first aid kit, he opened it up and took out some supplies. Then he hurried back to Ritsuka's side and got to work.
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Slowly, Ritsuka began to stir. He felt so warm and safe that he didn't quite understand why he had awoken. He just wanted to stay there forever…
Then, he felt the warmth shifting and a small sting in his arm. His eyes opened to see a pair of hands working quietly on his left arm. For what, though? He couldn't see that far yet. "Five more minutes," He mumbled, almost inaudibly.
"Good afternoon, Ritsuka." Soubi whispered softly into his ear.
His eyes widened. "Soubi?!"
"Shhhh." Soubi whispered. "Stay still."
Ritsuka realized that he was sitting sideways in Soubi's lap, and that Soubi was cleaning and bandaging his wounds. Blushing furiously, he silently watched Soubi's beautiful hands work. Soubi had the hands of an artist – long and graceful, moving swiftly and surely.
Soubi was now wrapping medical bandages around his arm. He finished the arm and moved on to Ritsuka's leg. Soubi had to lean into Ritsuka to get closer to his leg, and he was enjoying it. Ritsuka, though, felt uneasy in a pleasant kind of way. What is this feeling? Ritsuka thought. It feels… nice… He blushed even darker than before, his heart beating fast. He didn't even notice the pain of the wound being cleaned.
"There, all done." Soubi smiled. He gingerly wrapped his arms around his Sacrifice and looked deeply into violet eyes.
Ritsuka blushed at Soubi's sapphire gaze. "W-what is i-"
He was cut off by Soubi pressing their lips together. He started to protest, but instead, slowly felt himself kissing back. An intense warmth spread through them both as they deepened the kiss. Soubi pulled Ritsuka closer to him, his arms wrapping tighter around the boy. Ritsuka let out an involuntary purr and melted into Soubi's arms. Then he realized what they were doing and his eyes opened in shock. But… it's not like we haven't kissed before...!
Soubi broke the kiss and held Ritsuka close. "I'm so glad you're okay. I was worried, when I saw you on the floor like that." Soubi whispered.
Ritsuka blushed harder than ever, but remained silent.
Soubi wanted to ask Ritsuka about what had happened, but he sensed that this wasn't the right time. Instead, he held his sacrifice protectively and let himself smile.
As soon as Ritsuka regained his composure, he looked up at the man to demand that he be let out of this embrace, but he saw that genuinely happy smile on Soubi's face, and he just couldn't. Soubi, for once, had a real smile on his face. Ritsuka had a sudden rush of feeling for the man, and one thought circled round in his head.
Does that mean he was telling the truth when he said he loved me?
Ritsuka couldn't help but smile himself. "Soubi…" He started, "can you let me go for one second?"
"Sure." Soubi released the boy.
Ritsuka jumped up (though rather clumsily due to his bandages and his cold) and ran to get his camera from his desk. He grabbed it and sat back down in Soubi's lap. Surprised, Soubi listened to his sacrifice.
"For this picture, I want you to smile like you did just now, like you really were happy." Ritsuka fiddled with the camera, then held it up so that both of them were in the shot.
Soubi, while a bit surprised that he had let his guard down like that, smiled with sincerity. It was easy if he just remembered the feelings he had for Ritsuka.
Snap!
Ritsuka brought the camera back down and looked at the picture he had just taken. Both members of the team were smiling genuinely.
He smiled and looked up at the man. "Thank you, Soubi," He whispered.
Soubi never wiped his smile off his face. "Thank you, Ritsuka." He kissed the boy on the cheek. "I love you."
And this time, Ritsuka was able to beleive.
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Notice: I have decided not to continue this. Gomen nasai, my readers! Your reviews are so encouraging - and I love getting up and dancing whenever I get one, it really confuses my friends! But I have a startlingly short attention span, and it was a marvel I was able to stay focused on a single plotline for this long. Keep an eye out for future drabbles, though! Because I love Loveless soooooo much!
